Liberation of the True Self
Socrates is reported to have noted that “the secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new.” In Buddhism there are clear relationships between “no-self” and the force of impermanence, that reality that ensures constant change and thus personal dissatisfaction as a norm. In the lived experiences of our psychological turmoil we humans do the utmost to direct our energy to obtaining what we want (attachment, desire, craving) and avoiding as much pain and suffering as possible. Our endless effort to obtain material and status goals for some form of inner security against the world repeatedly leads us to struggle, fear, and loss – suffering. Our 
cognition, emotion, behavior and sensory contact with all phenomena are fully engaged in evaluation of everything: did I get what I wanted and avoid suffering for now or not? This is the hedonic treadmill of lived attachment and avoidance. Cognitive-Behavioral analytics ends up in the same place over and over again: short-term pleasure (getting what I want for now) and longer-term suffering (fear of losing it or being involved in more emotional pain). This state of constant seeking (how many “likes” do I have?) tricks us into thinking that this time, it will work. We seek safety, security, and various forms of wealth; we expect to achieve these goals and to avoid as much suffering as possible. This is impossible, since the seeking and attaching itself eventually causes more personal suffering. We humans have very short memories when it comes to the realities of pleasure and pain, happiness and suffering. Our emotional striving to be perfect and get ahead often leave us with just more desire. The sad fact is that no matter how successful we are in accumulating all the goodies, we tend to continue our suffering sometimes in different forms.
A possible solution to consider for liberating yourself from the merry-go-round of life’s seeking and avoiding is to practice intensive, regular deep meditation and yoga. Through these regular/daily practices you will, indeed, confront yourself and perhaps open a pathway to spiritual freedom. You may liberate your true self in the process. Narrowly focus on your consciousness – the mirror of your true 
self. It does not change even when the content of experience does change. Become your observing self in a state of pure awareness without judging or evaluating. In the evolutionary process, clinging is one of the most primal actions. The “vapor of thoughts” along with strong attachment clinging causes our norms to be related to our false self – with its entitlement, feeling special as a defense, greed, anger, even hatred. Just STOP all of this process as much as you can; focus on who/what you are at the deepest most spiritual levels. Who am I is the eternal and most important question. As you meditate and do yoga, concentrate on radically accepting everything that has happened to you and may still be happening to you. This does not mean stand by and allow yourself to be abused by cruel people; however, it does mean to pay very acute attention to what experiences trigger your ego-defenses and negative reactions in thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. How much control over your emotions are you willing to give up to other people? Radically accept as a norm, do your asanas, meditate often, allow your true self to “let go” of the false self”s ego and superego demands. Pursue spiritual practices, be compassionate and generous, and live the life your true self desires for you. This is a life of more inner peace, even tranquility, more happiness, less competition, more love, and DOING good for others. This path is difficult in our materialistic world. The fruits of your efforts will be gratifying! If you practice, you will discover the truth about being a happier, more lovable person.
If you are not satisfied with the outcomes from your efforts here are three more things to practice. When you become entangled in the ego defenses of your mind, use the Buddha’s “best friends.” Calming breath, the half smile, standing, sitting, walking or laying down all may change your neurophysiology and thus your mood and level of self-control. This will allow you better capacity to apply radical acceptance and let go of harmful emotional reactivity. Another approach championed by the Buddha is to gently control your second arrows. The first arrow is when something unpleasant happens to you 
and there is nothing you can do about it; this is pure suffering, and it is painful. However what you decide to have your mind, body and emotions do with the first arrow of suffering is called the second arrow. This very sharply pointed arrow can lead to long-term, even life-long suffering about something you failed to radically accept and let go. Become an expert in perceiving the initial activity of your second arrows, and STOP as soon as possible. At this point you may apply RAIN – recognize what if happening; accept it; investigate causation; and, apply no-self or if less skilled “its not about me attitudes.” These follow-up practices should be very helpful to you in your effort to become a more calm and more happy person.
For more details see Singer, M. A. (2007). The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, pp. 127-137.
Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC
From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha
Author of Mindful Happiness
may be warning signs of limbic surveillance or inner continuity of your inner self-helper – that part of you and your brain that hopes to help you in whatever the situation you are experiencing. Interoceptive awareness is one of the most important mindfulness skills to practice. In the following meditation, we will visit your interoceptive self and augment its power by repeated the practice. In neuroscience a common understanding is that the larger number of neurons activated in more and more brain areas implies the variant of power (potentiation); more neuron firing in more brain areas results in a more significant life experience. This is one reason why PTSD is such a devastating disorder, and why it is NOT easy to treat successfully. Also, let us not forget the ultimate power of LOVE; people gives their lives for it, and people kill others over it. Let’s get into the practice.
sensation to spread this way. Move it down the arms all the way to your fingertips. Recall a substance-free happy experience and smile more. Feel the emotion, even perhaps love. Now slowly and gently place both hands over your heart and rock gently. Continue for a couple minutes. Notice!
This strange behavior continued for some time, until the robin had forced me to move within two feet of of our above-ground pool. The robin persisted by flying closer and closer to my head, to “push” me closer and closer to the pool until I reached its frame. Then I saw it. Then I realized how this intelligent bird figured out a way to get me to see its chick now having great difficulty staying afloat in the pool water. I knew I could not touch the chick, but I had to save it. So in the pool I went and netted it in an old bird nest sitting on the deck. I placed the “saved” chick in the nest on the deck just high enough to protect it from cats and allow its parents to come to its rescue. Soon they were feeding it. In a few days the chick was gone and so were the parents. I assume it flew correctly without landing in what must have seemed to be a gigantic ocean to the very small chick. I experienced very strong feelings of gratitude at that time. Gratitude for my actions, for the chick, and for its parents. Gratitude for the beautiful and mysterious Tao of nature surrounding me in life.
an adult delivered food to the nest. So what to do? I did not want to leave the chick to its fate, and I did not want robins pecking at my head in defense of their own. I grabbed a flat piece of wood and a scissors; I went out to the porch, quickly cut the plastic string and caught the chick in its fall on the board. The chick landed eventually on the porch floor. It was breathing heavy, and I think its leg had been injured in the tangle. By that time several robins were harassing me; they meant business. My good deed done, I left the chick on the floor and observed several robins flying on to the porch. When I looked out a few minutes later, the chick was gone and no adult birds were anywhere to be seen. Worried that the injured chick had fallen off the floor onto the ground below, I went out to investigate. I was unable to find the chick. Soon, however, two robins came to the porch making all kinds of noise – probably trying to communicate with the chick. Then I noticed the adult birds very cautiously (after quite some time of just hanging out) flying to the ground where I had been searching for the chick. I watched one robin go into the brush nearby, entering with an insect in its mouth and leaving empty-beaked. I guess they found their chick, and were continuing to nurse it back to health. Because I cannot disturb it, I will never know if that chick made it or not. One thing is certain, the parents were in no mood to give up; they continued to cautiously land on the ground with food. I think it is a happy ending just like story 1.
In our culture high stress is a norm, and we compete as if our lives depended upon it. The norms of pleasant, unpleasant and neutral experiences are realistic as well as Buddhist realities. We have, do, and will suffer. We make an error in thinking that material security or luxury alone will make us happy. There is a long research tradition showing this is not true most of the time. There are many mindfulness-based skills and practices that could help to improve YOUR OWN personal happiness. You do have to do them! Practice daily even if for a few minutes; consciously do your best to extend practice time little-by-little until you reach at least twenty minutes a day. More time results in better outcomes. See the list below for ideas about what skills to practice. It is UP TO YOU. If you want to change things for the better, you need to practice daily. If you think “I do not have the time for this” experiment with replacing your daily worry time with practice time. See what happens.