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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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December 24, 2019 By Admin

Journaling and Grief Process

Journaling and Grief Process

Regular brief journaling may be helpful in your grief and horror regarding significant personal losses of self and/or others. Here are the various ways it may be helpful to you.

  1. Writing and reading about your personal loss experience may help you to make sense of the process, and at the same time guide you gently on that path.
  2. Journaling may open up past and present realities – both positive and negative – about your loss experience.
  3. At times anger, resentments, and regrets will come up. These realities open you up to the depth of the grief experience. Do not linger too long there!
  4. S. Kierkegard reminded us that our lived experiences are processed forwardly, but better understood if observed backwards. Journaling helps to focus us on the present but never lets go fully of the past.
  5. It may be important to you to make your personal journal more balanced with both negative and positive experiences. For example, it may be helpful to list all simple pleasures you experienced in any given day. It may also be a good idea not to linger emotionally too long when such experiences trigger negative states.
  6. I have always found it helpful to list my personal gratitudes, even in the midst of painful loss and suffering. It is not uncommon for the most valued experiences to be linked with the lost love-object and your shared life.
  7. If fear and trepidation occur as you move through the grief process, I suggest that you break down the scary moments into smaller, more manageable periods of time, space, and emotions.
  8. Pay attention to and write about both helpful and unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and sensations related to your grief process. Be aware keenly of small improvements in all.
  9. You may notice that as you slowly heal you spend less time journaling. This is natural.
  10. You may wish to do “grave worship” practices, or simply write many good things about the lost person.
  11. V. Frankl noted that when we cannot change the reality of a situation, we may have to change ourself.
  12. When you find yourself crying over your loss, that is a very good time to contemplate and do journaling.
  13. Reading related poetry or writing your own may help you.
  14. If and when you experience the emptiness of the void inside, do your best to find words for the experience. And, work to fill that void by re-engaging with your life as it is now.
  15. It is always a good idea to develop and practice personal rituals about your healing. Write about this in your journal.
  16. S. Becket reminded us that we must go on! As painful as it may be, we cannot stop the process.
  17. As P. Chodron noted, we must allow it all to fall apart before we can find the resilience to face what comes next. In most situations, what comes next is slow improvement in your emotional condition.
  18. Rest in peace with your breath, and do more meditation or yoga if that suits you well.
  19. You may wish to visit optionb.org or other sites that support grief work.

Refer to Sandberg, S. and Grant, A. (2017). Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. New York: A. A. Knopf, pp. 58-76.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Calming, Coping, Crisis Resilience Skills, Emotions, Featured, Gratitude Meditation, Grief, Holiday Coping, Inner Peace, Journal Writing, Learning, Letting Go, Meditation, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Mourning, Natural Healing, Self Care, Spiriuality, Stress Reduction Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, GRATITUDES, GRIEF PROCESS, JOURNALING, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, RESILIENCE

October 18, 2019 By Admin

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare”

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare”

This post will discuss the topic and personal strategies.  Most content will relate to both physical realities and metaphorical meanings and categories. Since a person viewing their self as fighting a spiritual war most likely holds onto certain parts of self in this endeavor, it is highly unlikely that the actual adversaries are authentic entities outside/inside the self. It is more likely that personal experience has conditioned the person to understand these variable processes as quite serious and sometimes dangerous. To maintain a clear boundary, this post is not presenting a way to treat people suffering from any form of identity disorder; rather, this post offer some ideas about how one might go about becoming healthier via less targeted clinical interventions. The remaining part of the post will offer comments and suggestions for personal consideration of the reader. Most content deals with realistic natural phenomena in life. I hope I am making myself clear here. I hope you find the content helpful.

  1. Since pure white/golden healing light has been noted in almost all major spiritual traditions, you might wish to experiment with the experiences noted below.  Do your best to see the light as a potential healing ally. Allow yourself to feel the light. Do not block!
  2. Experiment with observing  the rising and setting sun. Allow the light to penetrate you; use kinesthetic awareness to do so.  Do your best to feel the light and experience its healing power. Enjoy this! Do not look directly into the intense light energy of the sun.
  3. Study basic astrophysics to learn how gravity (one of the main constants in the universe) has direct effects on dark/black energies.
  4. On a clear night, look deeply into the starlit sky and allow the star energies to enter you. Feel it; use it. Enjoy this!
  5.  On a clear day, look into the blue sky with moving clouds. Allow the light to penetrate you and feel its power. Enjoy this!
  6. Go for a silent walk in nature. Notice! Use all your senses to encounter all that is there. Gently gaze at a mountain, pond, lake, or stream. Notice the transparency off the clear water as it moves downstream. Send your troubles (like a leaf) downstream with the current. Make the best of your attention and intention here. Notice! Relax! Enjoy this!
  7. You may wish to try the Ten Directions experiment. Discern carefully what directions are helpful. What directions bring you into your deep inner self ally? Stand silently and notice the healing air/wind coming from the North, South, East, and West. Notice the effects! Now stand there and bring your attention to everything inside of you. And next – to everything outside of you. Look up and look down; notice. Now use your natural ability to project and send your troubles far, far, far away. Notice! Now move your body slowly and notice; now move your body with more vigorous energy, and notice. You have completed your Ten Directions experiment. Hope it was helpful. Thank our indigenous First Nation Peoples and Buddhist concepts for this process.
  8. Relax and begin to breathe deeply, slowly. Notice the ease and the difficulty. Continue to breathe. Allow the deeper, slower breath to calm you. Notice how the freshness of the committed breath restores your airflow in your throat, heart, soul, etc. Allow the clean flow of healing breath to cleanse you- in your throat, heart, soul.
  9. Now do your best to engage your helpful beliefs and helpful behaviors to support your internal healing. Engage in activities/behaviors that you find helpful.  Do not engage in thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are unhelpful. Be strong.
  10. Examine your personal space-time continuum, and pay close attention to when your time and space are safe for you. Spend much more time in this aspect of time and space. Do the same for being happier.
  11. Practice paying more attention to the silent, still space between your breaths, between your thoughts, between your heartbeats, and between your periods of suffering. Use the energy of your attention to enhance the space, silence, peace, and tranquility.
  12. Use your personal, natural wisdom to disempower any obstacles that hinder your progress to improved health and happiness.
  13. Use all of the above as metaphors of self-protection against all sources of suffering.
  14. Know that emotional dysregulation, anger, fear all feed your inner dragons. Best to starve them!
  15. Lastly, if you are a religious person, pray more.
  16. If you read spiritual books, you may want to try the Lectio Divina approach. In this Latin Christian Church method one reads a spiritual passage over and over and over again, each time going more deeply into the self and core religious beliefs. This form of meditation tends to enhance the power of the spiritual information being read as well as the power of the belief.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Breathing, Featured, Interoception, MIndfulness Activities, Mindfulness Training, Practices, Self Care, Self Compassion, Spiritual Warfare Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, INNER PEACE, OUTER PEACE, SPIRIT WARS, SPIRITUAL WARFARE

October 10, 2018 By Admin

Practicing Interoceptive Meditations Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Practicing Interoceptive Meditations

Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

The mindfulness-based process and intervention of interoception (also called neuroception) has slowly moved from meditation practice into clinical practice, now being part of the recommended MBSR, ACT, and more current CBT-based therapies. The three brief meditations below are presented to expand the use of interoceptive processes in therapy practice. They are presented in very brief form, so slow down the work when using these in your therapy practice. Rather than repeating the introductory process, I will note it here. Be sure to use it in each meditation.

Begin with the following for all three meditations;

  1. Place your body into a calm and comfortable sitting or lying position.
  2. Breathe slowly and deeply for at least ten breaths. Extend the exhalation for the last three breaths.
  3. Use your imagination energy to recall a time when you were in bright, warm sunlight – feel this warmth on your skin right now. Using imagery of that time and place may be helpful here. Without thinking, just feel it.

Warm Hands Meditation

  1. While sitting comfortably, rub your hands together quite vigorously until you can feel heat in your palms.
  2. Place your warm hands on your cheeks with some pressure, and allow the warmth to penetrate into your face.
  3. Not working too hard at this, slowly and compassionately move the sensation of warmth through your body – face, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, torso, upper legs, lower legs, both feet – all the way to your toes. Do not at all be concerned about if you are doing this correctly. Simply use your personal strong intention.
  4. Rest calmly in the remembered-warmth of your sun-experience and your inner power of warm self-sensation.
  5. Rest in your personal, warm power and allow self-healing to occur.  Use your personal power NOT your thoughts.

Warm Heart Meditation

  1. Repeat step #1 from the above meditation.
  2. Place your warm hands crossed over your heart, and notice the sensation of penetrating warmth.
  3.  Consciously open up your heart chakra, feeling gentle and warm vibrations. Allow them to spread out.
  4. Allow this inner experience of sensation to kindle self-love for yourself. DO this now.
  5. Just BE you; sit there with this experience and appreciate who/what you are right here now.
  6. Do not worry at all if you are doing this correctly.  Just be with your interoceptive sensations and feelings.

Inner Warmth of Self-Healing Meditation

  1. Repeat the meditation above, and spend some time and energy intensifying the warmth if possible.
  2. Now simply and effortlessly move the warmth to any specific place in your body that needs healing.
  3. Do not think about this, just be with the experience and ALLOW it.
  4. Do not concern yourself abut whether or not you are doing this correctly. No thinking, just feeling.

You may wish to practice post-meditation journaling after you complete these three brief meditations.

These meditations were inspired by meditations lead by Thich Nhat Hanh at a Norwich University(VT) retreat and by CBT-mindfulness research at the University of California San Diego Medical School in 2017 and 2018. Refer to W. J. Sieber’s supervisory work.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Interoception, MBSR, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Mindfulness Training, Nhat Hanh Thich, Self Care, Stress Reduction Tagged With: INNER WARMTH MEDITATION, INTROCEPTION, MBSR, MEDITATION, NEUROCEPTION.MINDFULNESS, WARM HEART MEDITATION

January 21, 2018 By Admin

Meditations and Mantra to Try Out in Practice

Meditations and Mantra: Try Them Out in Your Practice

There are many forms of meditation.  In most cases, the common meditation forms fall into one of two categories: Mindfulness and Insight.  There are also demanding concentration meditations, chakra meditations, and mantra meditations. Here we’ll deal only with the two forms noted above and the use of mantras.

Insight meditation (called Vipassana) is one of the the bedrocks of meditation practice. This ancient Indian meditation aims at seeing things as they REALLY are. It may become transformative through extensive self (mind, phenomena) observation. Powerful mind training here may result in you learning HOW you help to cause your own emotional suffering. It enhances the view that long-term happiness is internal, and comes about via extended acute observation of how the mind works. In today’s words, we may learn to live and act via our wise mind skills, thus be happier. It easily relates to core Buddhist views on The Four Noble Truths, The Eight-Fold Path, as well as samsaric suffering by incessant attachment, desire, and craving.  The main learnings are personally witnessed impermanence (arising and falling of all phenomena), dependent origination (nothing comes about by itself), and ultimately emptiness (Eastern not Western). This form of meditation has been used extensively all over the world for addictions and for people who have difficulty with action urges and emotion regulation (mainly in prisons).

Mindfulness meditation (today very common in the West) is based on vipassana roots, but emphasizes awareness and bare attention mainly in the present moment. The initiation and returning of attention to an object of awareness is the basic practice.  Awareness occurs in both inner and outer experiences.  Focused attention on the breath or movement of mind-thoughts (without grasping, responding, or following) are common practices. This form of meditation has moved strongly into clinical psychological interventions, where a person learns to focus on the present moment without judging. People may also learn to use very practical breathing skills. The past and future are de-emphasized, and people may experience a very relaxing side-effect from regular practice. There are now thousands of “good enough” clinical studies on the positive effects of mindfulness meditation.

There are many well-documented benefits of regular meditation practice. Some are possible DNA improvements, brain plasticity (better neural connectivity), clear and calm mind, bodily relaxation, improvements in chronic pain, depression, anxiety, emotional self-regulation (anger, addictions), and spirituality.

Use of a mantra in meditation is a common practice. A mantra is a phrase that is repeated many times with intention and inner energy. The practice may expand mental focus and energies. It may also lead to insights, creativity, even healing. The basic instruction is to select a meaningful mantra and repeat it many times. It sometimes helps to classically condition the mantra to time of day (to meditate), location, and the use of beads.  A very interesting reality of using beads is that the practice may improve mind training via finger-tip manipulations and resulting firing of brain cells in the somatosensory areas of the brain, thus perhaps increasing brain plasticity. Thus the mantra meditation becomes easier and more automatic over time.  Here are a few common mantra. Perhaps you will select and practice one of them, soon.

  • Universal Mantra: Baba Nam Kevalam  (Beloved Name Only, or Love is all there is)
  • Healing Mantra of the Medicine Buddha: Tayatha Om Bhaishajye, Bhaishajye Mahabhaisajye, Taja Samudgate Svaha
  • Mantra of Compassion and Protection: Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svaha
  • Shakyamuni Buddha’s Mantra for Meditation and Wisdom: Om Muni Muni Mahaunaye Svaha
  • Mantra for Healing Relationships: Om Sharavana Bhavaya Namaha

For more details refer to Wiley, M. 5 Healing Mantras to Change Your Life. Easy Health Options, June 17, 2017. easyhealthoptions.com/5-healing-mantras-change-life… Retrieved 6-17-17.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Mindfulness Training, Practices Tagged With: MANTRA, MINDFUL ACTIVITES, MINDFUL MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICE

January 11, 2018 By Admin

Self-Help in Mind-Body Medicine

Self-Help in Mind-Body Medicine

In this brief post we will review several specific ways that may improve your psychological and physical health. The post will be short, sweet, and simple to encourage participation. Here it is.

  1. Affirmation – “I am learning to love myself just the way I am.” Repeat this mantra sub vocally over and over again.
  2. Meditate using the mantra.  Do your best to sit for at least 20 minutes.
  3. Practice a basic body scan, and at each part of the body repeat your mantra. The most basic body scanning process requires that you pay strong attention to sequential parts of your body from top of the head to tips of the toes. At each location, say your mantra.
  4. Get out your journal. If you do not journal now, this is a great opportunity to begin to do so. In your journal list several of your best attributes. Be generous but not narcissistic.
  5. Now ask yourself in your journal: “Why do I suffer so much?” Use free association and write down the first thoughts you become conscious of. Ask the same questions several times and see what comes up. Do so even if the thoughts make no sense to you at this time.  Now write your mantra several times in your journal. Read it all.
  6. Now check into your energy system (the chakras), and learn on your own the associations between each energy center and various characteristics of life experience. Stop at the chakra that most corresponds to your current problem/s. Some common and emotional centers are at the crown of the head, the third eye area, the throat, the heart, and the lower belly. Now meditate on one area at a time, and repeat your mantra several times. If you locate an energy center that is more directly related to your problem/s, focus your meditative attention and mantra on that one area.  Repeat your mantra many times.
  7. To develop a better chance of improving your health make sure you are DOING all the below interventions to the best of your abilities and at the same time: medical treatment, psychological treatment, intuitive treatment, affirmative self-care, meditation, yoga, daily exercise, and relationship repair or replacement.  Keep these self-care practices highly active. Monitor your improvements. Write only improvements in your journal.

For more information refer to Schulz, M.L. and Hay, L. (2016). Heal Your Mind…Carlsbad, CA: Hay House Publications, introduction and appendix A.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Mind-Body Medicine, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities Tagged With: MIND BODY MEDICINE, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, SELF-HELP

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