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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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January 12, 2020 By Admin

Two Forms of Self-Help Journaling

Self-Help Journaling – Two Methods

Generally there are two forms of self-help journaling: writing about worries and concerns OR writing about joy and happiness. In my more than 35 years of clinical experience I have not found the former to be very helpful. Most people stuck in negative mood states are not easily able to disengage themselves from negative, worrisome thoughts. For these folks journaling and placing more cognitive and emotional attention on negatives is often unhelpful. So I  stopped recommending this form of journaling to clients years ago. If you suffer from anxiety, depression, trauma, addictions and/or eating problems, I would not recommend negative problem solving journaling as a practice. Our limbic brain sets us up for overdrive when dealing with negative emotions and experiences, so no need to add more cognition and attention to it all. Better to work on positives!

I have found positive journaling to be amazingly helpful for some people. The practice is quite easy. Simply find a journal you like to look at and hold. Yes, visual and kinesthetic pleasures are important as motivators. Place it near your bed, and every night a few minutes before you go to bed do some journaling – even a few minutes can be helpful.  Just write freely, without censoring in any way. It is a good idea to use all your sensory experiences here. What did you see, hear, feel, smell, taste, experience that you may wish to write about? Once you get into the process, try to go a bit deeper: exactly what was it about the positive experience that impacted you, and how deeply? Do your best not to seek ideal happiness experiences (there may not be nirvana); these realities are far and few for most people. So best to begin with simply paying more attention to positives during the day. You may begin to notice that some of the experiences and things you have been conditioned to take for granted are actually positive in nature. Pick only one experience to write about. Later go back often and re-read what you wrote.

For more information refer to J. Smiechowski’s ideas in Easy Health Options Home; MedicalXpress; Journal of Psychophysiology; and University of Rochester, Journaling for Mental Health.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Journal Writing, Self-Help Tagged With: JOURNALING, SELF CARE

December 24, 2019 By Admin

Journaling and Grief Process

Journaling and Grief Process

Regular brief journaling may be helpful in your grief and horror regarding significant personal losses of self and/or others. Here are the various ways it may be helpful to you.

  1. Writing and reading about your personal loss experience may help you to make sense of the process, and at the same time guide you gently on that path.
  2. Journaling may open up past and present realities – both positive and negative – about your loss experience.
  3. At times anger, resentments, and regrets will come up. These realities open you up to the depth of the grief experience. Do not linger too long there!
  4. S. Kierkegard reminded us that our lived experiences are processed forwardly, but better understood if observed backwards. Journaling helps to focus us on the present but never lets go fully of the past.
  5. It may be important to you to make your personal journal more balanced with both negative and positive experiences. For example, it may be helpful to list all simple pleasures you experienced in any given day. It may also be a good idea not to linger emotionally too long when such experiences trigger negative states.
  6. I have always found it helpful to list my personal gratitudes, even in the midst of painful loss and suffering. It is not uncommon for the most valued experiences to be linked with the lost love-object and your shared life.
  7. If fear and trepidation occur as you move through the grief process, I suggest that you break down the scary moments into smaller, more manageable periods of time, space, and emotions.
  8. Pay attention to and write about both helpful and unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and sensations related to your grief process. Be aware keenly of small improvements in all.
  9. You may notice that as you slowly heal you spend less time journaling. This is natural.
  10. You may wish to do “grave worship” practices, or simply write many good things about the lost person.
  11. V. Frankl noted that when we cannot change the reality of a situation, we may have to change ourself.
  12. When you find yourself crying over your loss, that is a very good time to contemplate and do journaling.
  13. Reading related poetry or writing your own may help you.
  14. If and when you experience the emptiness of the void inside, do your best to find words for the experience. And, work to fill that void by re-engaging with your life as it is now.
  15. It is always a good idea to develop and practice personal rituals about your healing. Write about this in your journal.
  16. S. Becket reminded us that we must go on! As painful as it may be, we cannot stop the process.
  17. As P. Chodron noted, we must allow it all to fall apart before we can find the resilience to face what comes next. In most situations, what comes next is slow improvement in your emotional condition.
  18. Rest in peace with your breath, and do more meditation or yoga if that suits you well.
  19. You may wish to visit optionb.org or other sites that support grief work.

Refer to Sandberg, S. and Grant, A. (2017). Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. New York: A. A. Knopf, pp. 58-76.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Calming, Coping, Crisis Resilience Skills, Emotions, Featured, Gratitude Meditation, Grief, Holiday Coping, Inner Peace, Journal Writing, Learning, Letting Go, Meditation, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Mourning, Natural Healing, Self Care, Spiriuality, Stress Reduction Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, GRATITUDES, GRIEF PROCESS, JOURNALING, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, RESILIENCE

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