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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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October 18, 2019 By Admin

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare”

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare”

This post will discuss the topic and personal strategies.  Most content will relate to both physical realities and metaphorical meanings and categories. Since a person viewing their self as fighting a spiritual war most likely holds onto certain parts of self in this endeavor, it is highly unlikely that the actual adversaries are authentic entities outside/inside the self. It is more likely that personal experience has conditioned the person to understand these variable processes as quite serious and sometimes dangerous. To maintain a clear boundary, this post is not presenting a way to treat people suffering from any form of identity disorder; rather, this post offer some ideas about how one might go about becoming healthier via less targeted clinical interventions. The remaining part of the post will offer comments and suggestions for personal consideration of the reader. Most content deals with realistic natural phenomena in life. I hope I am making myself clear here. I hope you find the content helpful.

  1. Since pure white/golden healing light has been noted in almost all major spiritual traditions, you might wish to experiment with the experiences noted below.  Do your best to see the light as a potential healing ally. Allow yourself to feel the light. Do not block!
  2. Experiment with observing  the rising and setting sun. Allow the light to penetrate you; use kinesthetic awareness to do so.  Do your best to feel the light and experience its healing power. Enjoy this! Do not look directly into the intense light energy of the sun.
  3. Study basic astrophysics to learn how gravity (one of the main constants in the universe) has direct effects on dark/black energies.
  4. On a clear night, look deeply into the starlit sky and allow the star energies to enter you. Feel it; use it. Enjoy this!
  5.  On a clear day, look into the blue sky with moving clouds. Allow the light to penetrate you and feel its power. Enjoy this!
  6. Go for a silent walk in nature. Notice! Use all your senses to encounter all that is there. Gently gaze at a mountain, pond, lake, or stream. Notice the transparency off the clear water as it moves downstream. Send your troubles (like a leaf) downstream with the current. Make the best of your attention and intention here. Notice! Relax! Enjoy this!
  7. You may wish to try the Ten Directions experiment. Discern carefully what directions are helpful. What directions bring you into your deep inner self ally? Stand silently and notice the healing air/wind coming from the North, South, East, and West. Notice the effects! Now stand there and bring your attention to everything inside of you. And next – to everything outside of you. Look up and look down; notice. Now use your natural ability to project and send your troubles far, far, far away. Notice! Now move your body slowly and notice; now move your body with more vigorous energy, and notice. You have completed your Ten Directions experiment. Hope it was helpful. Thank our indigenous First Nation Peoples and Buddhist concepts for this process.
  8. Relax and begin to breathe deeply, slowly. Notice the ease and the difficulty. Continue to breathe. Allow the deeper, slower breath to calm you. Notice how the freshness of the committed breath restores your airflow in your throat, heart, soul, etc. Allow the clean flow of healing breath to cleanse you- in your throat, heart, soul.
  9. Now do your best to engage your helpful beliefs and helpful behaviors to support your internal healing. Engage in activities/behaviors that you find helpful.  Do not engage in thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are unhelpful. Be strong.
  10. Examine your personal space-time continuum, and pay close attention to when your time and space are safe for you. Spend much more time in this aspect of time and space. Do the same for being happier.
  11. Practice paying more attention to the silent, still space between your breaths, between your thoughts, between your heartbeats, and between your periods of suffering. Use the energy of your attention to enhance the space, silence, peace, and tranquility.
  12. Use your personal, natural wisdom to disempower any obstacles that hinder your progress to improved health and happiness.
  13. Use all of the above as metaphors of self-protection against all sources of suffering.
  14. Know that emotional dysregulation, anger, fear all feed your inner dragons. Best to starve them!
  15. Lastly, if you are a religious person, pray more.
  16. If you read spiritual books, you may want to try the Lectio Divina approach. In this Latin Christian Church method one reads a spiritual passage over and over and over again, each time going more deeply into the self and core religious beliefs. This form of meditation tends to enhance the power of the spiritual information being read as well as the power of the belief.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Breathing, Featured, Interoception, MIndfulness Activities, Mindfulness Training, Practices, Self Care, Self Compassion, Spiritual Warfare Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, INNER PEACE, OUTER PEACE, SPIRIT WARS, SPIRITUAL WARFARE

September 29, 2019 By Admin

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue

First let’s begin with what some people do to counteract the stressors of living in a hurried,“over-technologized” world. Technically, “technologize” is not a popularly accepted word, but it is a sad  reality. We live in a time when texting while driving may become the new addiction-based cause for many, many deaths. This addiction is so strong people do it in situations that could case their injury or death, or the injury or death of others. Sound familiar! It should. Cellphone “abuse” is not so different from the plans of cigarette producers to “hook” us on something we will pay for during many years. So here is a partial list of what people tend to do when faced with severe stressors.

What people tend to do that does NOT improve their stress reactivity long-term:

  1. “Smoke and Coke” – a phrase referring to smoking nicotine and drinking sugary soft-drinks when you cannot cope well and feel dragged down with your stressful life and want to feel stimulated.
  2. Of course there is always excessive alcohol and/or drug use as self-medication.
  3. Sleeping – too little or too much, including late onset and too early awakening.
  4. Eating – too little or too much, and may include binging and purging.
  5. Hoarding for whatever security it brings.
  6. Obsessive compulsive  behaviors – as behaviors for security actions to make us feel better.
  7. Being aggressive when it is not necessary to defend yourself.
  8. Insulating yourself from contact with others.
  9. Living under a “victimhood” self-identification. This can change everything!
  10. Participating in self-harming behaviors to activate neurologic, chemical and hormonal changes in your brain and body.
  11. Engagement in unsafe sexual activities to feel “excitement” and/or “loved.”
  12. Spending too much time online or on my “I-Smart” phone. The phone becomes your life!
  13. Doing too much exercise, especially when injuries occur.
  14. Being a person of uncontrollable empathy – a clear boundary issue that wares you out.
  15. Making your job too much of your life – workaholism or compensation for poor self-esteem?
  16. Making do with professional, work stagnation.
  17. Remaining stuck in impaired practices – the most common one being emotional dysregulation.

What people can do that does improve stress reactivity and may even increase joy in life:

  1. Taking brief breaks from the “grind” of work.
  2. Recognizing and contemplating personal gratitude for what you DO have.
  3. Noticing and correcting unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors and communications.
  4. Learning to hold a positive, optimistic mindset and attitude.
  5. Liberating yourself from “stuckness” in anxiety, depression, addictions, and trauma. This most often requires professional help and/or self-help.
  6. Cutting way back on your online time. Researchers suggest anything beyond 3-4 hours/day is a habitual pattern. What do our jobs, schools and parents contribute to the habitual tendencies of habit-forming digital/electronic devices?
  7. Ignoring FOMO!
  8. Spending time reading, writing,  journaling about helpful things.
  9. Spending time listening and/or playing music.
  10. Spending time dancing and/or doing regular exercise.
  11. Spending time doing regular practice of meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, mindful walking.
  12. Petting your dog or cat – or horse. Looking into their eyes when they allow it.
  13. Spending time walking in nature.
  14. Learning to give/get social-emotional support.
  15. Learning to leave work at work – learn to build emotional boundaries.
  16. Practice limit-setting regarding your boundaries and what you do to help others.
  17. Making a firm commitment to improve your wellness.
  18. Taking part in constructive self-reflection.
  19. Paying more attention to positives ( natural for the brain to do the opposite).
  20. Helpful nutrition, sleep and exercise practices.
  21. Learn to play more; learn to be active in creative expression.
  22. Participating in regular spiritual practices.
  23. Spending more quality time with loved ones and good friends when helpful.
  24. Leaving some time to just be in quiet, silent solitude.
  25. Seeking professional help as soon as you “feel” you MAY need it, or when others who care about you “think” you need it.

You will notice that the helpful list is longer than the unhelpful list. However, the unhelpful behaviors are often more automatic, and the helpful behaviors REQUIRE considerable effort to carry out. Your wellness must be a priority for you.

For more information refer to Bray, B. (2019). Counselors as human beings not superheroes. Counseling Today (October, 2019), 18-25

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Calming, Compassion Fatigue, Destructive Emotions, Emotions, Featured, Inner Peace, Interventions, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Recovery, Self -Kindness, Self Care, Self Compassion, Stress Reduction, Success, Tools, True Self, Well Being Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, COMPASSION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, STRESS REDUCTION

October 30, 2018 By Admin

Setting Emotional Boundaries from Work to Life

Setting Emotional Boundaries from Work to Life

Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Sometimes setting emotional boundaries from the psychotherapy room to your life outside of work can be a difficult thing to do. Shifting from “experience near empathy” (Kohut), “unconditional positive regard” (Rogers), “hovering attention” (Freud), “the holding environment” in “intersubjective space” (Winnicott),  and compassionate awareness to emotional distancing, separation, and dispassion is no easy task. In more in-depth clinical interactions, the process of projective identification between therapist and client may drain your emotional resources; sometimes being “as if” you were the experiencer of your client’s pain and suffering can take a serious toll on your own emotional resources. At time the therapist’s own emotional life lacks the quality of connection experienced in the therapy session. Success in setting emotional boundaries is a very important self-care skill. It may determine your success, failure, joy, or misery in the clinical work you do. It will definitely prevent most case of “burn out.”

Therapists may wish to complete a brief self-care assessment at the end of each emotionally demanding day. Some things to check are as follows:

  1. Are you taking care of your own physical, psychological, spiritual, and emotional needs?
  2. Are you using mindfulness, self-compassion, clinical supervision, or journaling to get to know how you are doing?
  3. Are you valuing yourself enough regarding self-rewards, positive self-talk, cognitive and behavioral restructuring?
  4. Are you giving yourself time to experience some form of creativity?
  5. What about your spiritual self?
  6. Do you spend quality time in nature, among the awe of it all?
  7. Are you involved in the type of quality relationship you desire?
  8. Be sure to act on your own behalf if you find problems in the above areas.

Another very powerful process is to develop improving self-compassion for yourself, often blurring the inner boundaries of your own emotional life experience and the clinical work you do. Therapists are, in the end, only people with a set of specific helping skills. We suffer just like other people do. Hopefully, our training and experience have given us a bit of a positive edge here. Here are some things you may wish to consider to improve your own level of self-compassion.

  1. Using mindful awareness, observe the level and intensity of your self-criticism.
  2. Let go of personal resistance to being real, being your true self.
  3. Get out of your head! Get out of the past!
  4. Do loving kindness meditation often.
  5. Recognize your own difficult emotions (shame, anger, revenge, trying to control others, etc.), and simply be with them as a sacred part of who you are and be real about it. Use emotion regulation to improve things.
  6. Practice much more self-appreciation.
  7. Do not dwell on the pain and suffering of your past. All that stuff probably made you a stronger person.
  8. Welcome and LOVE all of you, with special attention to the sacred quality of your own life suffering.
  9. When you experience or re-experience anxiety, depression, addictive behaviors, or trauma – hold an open, soft heart for it.  Then make changes to improve your life experience.
  10. Always get help when you need it, and do your best not to dwell on what you have little control over.
  11. Be certain too make changes to improve self-compassion regarding any problem areas above.

Fo more information refer to Norcross, J. C. and VandenBos, G. R. (2018). Leaving it at the Office: A Guide to Psychotherapist Self-Care. New York: Guilford.  Neff, K. and Germer, C. (2018). The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive. New York: Guilford.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: Boundries, Featured, Leadership, MBSR, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Self -Kindness, Self Care, Self Compassion, Self Esteem, Spiriuality, Stress Reduction, Therapist, Therapy, Well Being Tagged With: EMOTIONAL BOUNDRIES, MBSR, SELF CARE, THERAPY.

March 26, 2017 By Admin

How to Improve Client/Patient Collaboration

Improving Client/Patient Collaboration  in Treatment

To improve collaboration between you and your clients/patients, simply practice the following behaviors as your norms.  See the

list below, and practice, practice, practice.

  1. Present with an attitude of helpfulness and authentic caring. Empathy and authentic concern are required.
  2. Recognize the reality that clients/patients are at different levels of readiness to make changes – almost alway NOT where you are in the process.
  3. Know how to use cognitive-behavioral therapies, mindfulness-based stress reduction, deepo psychodynamics in alliance building, and other effective approaches.
  4. Complete a cost-benefit analysis grid with the person, and work with pros/cons of staying the same vs changing.
  5. Do whatever you can to enhance the quality of the clinical relationship.
  6. Act within an understanding of equality; you are not able to control any person who is suffering.
  7. Provide psychoeducation where needed.
  8. Anticipate barriers to making desired changes; offer concrete support and help in doing so.
  9. Your clinical interventions should be evidence-based for a higher probability of success.
  10. Use the person’s personal hopes, goals, and motivations.
  11. Use task analysis as a behavioral method to break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable tasks.
  12. Be willing to try harm reduction when people appear pre-contemplative in stages of change.
  13. Provide direct feedback, with more emphasis on reinforcing praise rather than scolding.
  14. Remain in the Middle Way regarding too much/too little expected change, as well as the timing and time required for any changes to occur.
  15. Be highly mindful of both your own emotion regulation and that of the person you are working with. Practice emotion regulation skills often.
  16. Intervene quickly in anxiety, depression, substance misuse, and trauma.  Intervene carefully, intelligently, and again with evidence-based actions.
  17. Remember in crisis situations that  safety is first, stabilization is second.
  18. Identify people, places, and things that help and hinder progress into healthier life patterns.
  19. Monitor serious symptoms and act accordingly.  If medications are required, be part of the monitoring system and do “check-ins” often.
  20. Use self-help groups if the client/patient finds them helpful.  One needs to participate to know the correct answer here.
  21. Do GOOD self-care and get effective clinical supervision when needed.

For more information refer to Daley, D. C. and Zuckoff, A. (1999). Improving Treatment Compliance: Counseling and Systems Strategies for Substance Abuse and Dual Disorders. Center City, MINN. Hazelden.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Clinicians, Counselor Activites, Featured, Ideas & Practices, Leadership, MIndfulness, Practices, Self -Kindness, Self Care, Self Compassion, Self Esteem, Stress Reduction, Therapist, Therapy, Thoughts & Opinions, Training

November 7, 2016 By Admin

Basic Self-Compassion Process

Basic Self-Compassion Process

Practice:

To practice self-compassion as needed, follow these specific self-compassion steps.

  1. Sensitize your mindfulness skills to become aware of your immediate experience of suffering.
  2. Hold a strong intention to respond with self-kindness. Use self-talk to be kind to yourself.
  3. Begin by softening your body. Relax your muscles, tendons, joints. Hold a natural half smile on your face.love-yourself-mindfulhappiness2
  4. It may help to move your body gently.
  5. Use your “self-loving breath” to enhance calmness in the  body. Slow, deep in and slow, deep out as you smile.
  6. Place mental attention on emotional experiences that were pleasant for you. Recall with all your senses.
  7. Utilize any helpful, caring interpersonal relationships you have in the self-compassion process.
  8. Seek out your experiential spiritual center and inhabit it. Go there with you mind-heart.
  9. Practice loving kindness meditation for yourself.
  10. Notice! Rest!

Inspired and influenced by the work of C. Germer and K. Neff. Especially Germer, C. and Neff, K. (April, 2016).  Mindful Self-Compassion.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Compassion, Featured, Meditation, Practices, Self Compassion Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICE, SELF COMPASSION

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