Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

September 29, 2019 By Admin

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue

First let’s begin with what some people do to counteract the stressors of living in a hurried,“over-technologized” world. Technically, “technologize” is not a popularly accepted word, but it is a sad  reality. We live in a time when texting while driving may become the new addiction-based cause for many, many deaths. This addiction is so strong people do it in situations that could case their injury or death, or the injury or death of others. Sound familiar! It should. Cellphone “abuse” is not so different from the plans of cigarette producers to “hook” us on something we will pay for during many years. So here is a partial list of what people tend to do when faced with severe stressors.

What people tend to do that does NOT improve their stress reactivity long-term:

  1. “Smoke and Coke” – a phrase referring to smoking nicotine and drinking sugary soft-drinks when you cannot cope well and feel dragged down with your stressful life and want to feel stimulated.
  2. Of course there is always excessive alcohol and/or drug use as self-medication.
  3. Sleeping – too little or too much, including late onset and too early awakening.
  4. Eating – too little or too much, and may include binging and purging.
  5. Hoarding for whatever security it brings.
  6. Obsessive compulsive  behaviors – as behaviors for security actions to make us feel better.
  7. Being aggressive when it is not necessary to defend yourself.
  8. Insulating yourself from contact with others.
  9. Living under a “victimhood” self-identification. This can change everything!
  10. Participating in self-harming behaviors to activate neurologic, chemical and hormonal changes in your brain and body.
  11. Engagement in unsafe sexual activities to feel “excitement” and/or “loved.”
  12. Spending too much time online or on my “I-Smart” phone. The phone becomes your life!
  13. Doing too much exercise, especially when injuries occur.
  14. Being a person of uncontrollable empathy – a clear boundary issue that wares you out.
  15. Making your job too much of your life – workaholism or compensation for poor self-esteem?
  16. Making do with professional, work stagnation.
  17. Remaining stuck in impaired practices – the most common one being emotional dysregulation.

What people can do that does improve stress reactivity and may even increase joy in life:

  1. Taking brief breaks from the “grind” of work.
  2. Recognizing and contemplating personal gratitude for what you DO have.
  3. Noticing and correcting unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors and communications.
  4. Learning to hold a positive, optimistic mindset and attitude.
  5. Liberating yourself from “stuckness” in anxiety, depression, addictions, and trauma. This most often requires professional help and/or self-help.
  6. Cutting way back on your online time. Researchers suggest anything beyond 3-4 hours/day is a habitual pattern. What do our jobs, schools and parents contribute to the habitual tendencies of habit-forming digital/electronic devices?
  7. Ignoring FOMO!
  8. Spending time reading, writing,  journaling about helpful things.
  9. Spending time listening and/or playing music.
  10. Spending time dancing and/or doing regular exercise.
  11. Spending time doing regular practice of meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, mindful walking.
  12. Petting your dog or cat – or horse. Looking into their eyes when they allow it.
  13. Spending time walking in nature.
  14. Learning to give/get social-emotional support.
  15. Learning to leave work at work – learn to build emotional boundaries.
  16. Practice limit-setting regarding your boundaries and what you do to help others.
  17. Making a firm commitment to improve your wellness.
  18. Taking part in constructive self-reflection.
  19. Paying more attention to positives ( natural for the brain to do the opposite).
  20. Helpful nutrition, sleep and exercise practices.
  21. Learn to play more; learn to be active in creative expression.
  22. Participating in regular spiritual practices.
  23. Spending more quality time with loved ones and good friends when helpful.
  24. Leaving some time to just be in quiet, silent solitude.
  25. Seeking professional help as soon as you “feel” you MAY need it, or when others who care about you “think” you need it.

You will notice that the helpful list is longer than the unhelpful list. However, the unhelpful behaviors are often more automatic, and the helpful behaviors REQUIRE considerable effort to carry out. Your wellness must be a priority for you.

For more information refer to Bray, B. (2019). Counselors as human beings not superheroes. Counseling Today (October, 2019), 18-25

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Calming, Compassion Fatigue, Destructive Emotions, Emotions, Featured, Inner Peace, Interventions, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Recovery, Self -Kindness, Self Care, Self Compassion, Stress Reduction, Success, Tools, True Self, Well Being Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, COMPASSION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, STRESS REDUCTION

January 14, 2018 By Admin

Healing Meditation for Destructive Emotions

Healing Meditations for Destructive Emotions

Based on the mountain of research supporting the use of regular meditation practices and yoga, it is safe to say that Buddhism and its practices have merged with modern scientific investigation. From the early days of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (the MBSR of Jon Kabat-Zinn) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (the DBT of Marsha Linehan), clinical and scientific mindfulness/meditation practices have advanced into successful interventions for a plethora of psychological and physical conditions. Among the thousands of studies, most are of “good enough” quality regarding designs and controls. Buddhism and science recommend that we evaluate by direct observation of outcomes and not solely by traditions in both research opinion and the sutras. According to The Dalai Lama in his Science and Philosophy in the Indian Buddhist Classics, the primary purposes for both Buddhism and science is the improvement of cherished human life and the experience of personal happiness.  Since our mood, happiness and perhaps long-term health may depend on how we react to emotions, strong mind training is required. When we experience pleasant feelings (sukkah vedana), we are happy. When we experience unpleasant feelings (dukkah vedana), we are unhappy. We chase happiness, but we find endless cycles of ups and downs, the samsaric cycles.  The goals of better health and emotional happiness can only be met by deeper understanding of how the human mind works and how to work with our destructive human emotions. The Buddha pointed out that reactions to our impermanent feelings cause us harm.

According to Josh Korda’s Unsubsribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth, goals of improved human existence and enhanced happiness cannot occur when we use meditation for escaping our pain and suffering. This spiritual bypassing (simply a more sophisticated way to self-medicate pain) may bring us short-term relief, but it always brings long-term stuckness. No matter what form of meditation we practice (Anapansati, Vipassana, Samatha, Metta, or Mantra), the goal is NOT to escape suffering but to be one with it and understand its deeper meaning and possible benefits. Thus meditative bliss alone fails to bring true, deep relief from personal emotional suffering. We do not heal by way of avoiding difficult emotional realities in our lives. True liberation comes from not being impulsively reactive to emotional responses to objects and experiences in life. Best to be with all your feelings and emotions in meditation to “see” why they are there and what you can do to befriend them.  The painful emotions in meditation have the potential to become our allies, but we need to stop spiritual bypassing and self-medication to get there.  You need to make your own judgment here; if you feel that you are too fragile emotionally to be with your emotional experiences, DO NOT DO IT.

Now we will select a meditation form and become fully aware of emotions/feelings; we will simply be with them no matter if pleasant or unpleasant. We will be one with them to get to know them better. According to A. Brahm’s Bear Awareness: Questions and Answers on Taming Your Wild Mind, all meditation forms in regular practice ultimately lead to equanimous and happier experiences. The single binding force is to “let go” and be with whatever comes up. Letting go of conditioned reactions can be a struggle. Let us practice!

  1. Practice of Anapansati – Breath Meditation. Simply practice breath awareness deeply enough until your body awareness is reduced or eliminated. ALLOW full mindfulness attention to any difficult emotions that arise. Be with them to understand them. Work at befriending them. What could you learn here? How might your pain help you?
  2. Practice of Vipassana – Insight Meditation. Through the regular practice of Insight Meditation we become more aware of the ultimate truth about life. Strong attention points our awareness to impermanence, suffering as a fact, interdependent origination (nothing arises from nothing), and The Eight Fold Path to enlightenment. Once we are into this practice deeply, we experience insights, inner peace, and joy. What do your insights teach you about your suffering?
  3. Practice of Samatha – Equanimity Meditation. Here meditation brings on a  state of inner calm and peace – sometimes perfect stillness. In this personal and private experience of quietude, we may be ready to discover arising insights about life and mind. In such a state of equanimity, allow yourself to be with your emotions as they arise.
  4. Practice of Metta – Loving Kindness Meditation. Wishing well to ourselves and all others as the root of this meditation practice brings peacefulness, inner quiet, and deep insights. We directly experience joy while we practice. Apply self-compassion to your suffering.
  5. Mantra Meditation – Six-Beat Mantra of Yig Drug. Say the following mantra to yourself as you meditate in any form you wish: OM, MANI, PADME, HUM. Continue! Now shift to a modern mantra, a modified Louise Hay mantra – “I now choose to love and accept myself.” Continue! Now as you say this to yourself in your meditation, slowly and firmly complete the Thymus Thump practice. See what happens.

For more information refer to The Dalai Lama (2017). Science and Philosophy in the Indian Buddhist Classics. Boston: Wisdom Publications. Korda, J (2017). Unsubscribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth. Boston: Wisdom Publications. Brahm, A. (2017). Bear Awareness: Questions and Answers on Taming Your Wild Mind. Boston: Wisdom Publications. Hay, L. (1984). Heal Your Body: The Mental Causes of Physical Illness. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House -eventually.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Benefits of Mindfulness, Destructive Emotions, Featured, Healing, Healing, Meditation, MIndfulness Tagged With: DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS, HEALING MEDITATIONS, MEDITATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Meditation for Health Improvement It is estimated that between 10 and 15 million Americans participate in some form of regular mindfulness or contemplative practices; secular-based meditation and yoga may be the most common of these practices.  Many others practice tai chi, qi gong, forest-based contemplation, Taoism, etc.  The US National Institute of Health has been […]

A major part of suffering comes with the inability to shift unhelpful, negative focus on troubling thoughts and feelings.   This cognitive reality is common in all the major mental health problems people suffer from: anxiety, depression, trauma, substance abuse, and eating disorders. Due to the lack of “wise-mind” skills most people suffering from these […]

Breath, Mindfulness and Liberation J. Goldstein, (2007).  in volume two of Abiding in Mindfulness – On Feelings… brings clear focus to the infinite importance of feelings – the sensation-based associations of various emotional and physical states. Via on-going and regular practice of mindfulness and contemplation we may access the four areas of human awareness: body, feelings, heart-mind, […]

Gurdjieff’s The Fourth Way Meditations: A way of Being and Knowing Although Gurdjieff developed a whole way of being and knowing, including attentional practices, dance/body movements, group processes, and meditations here I will focus only on some of the suggested meditations.  In particular, I include the meditations noted by his primary student (J. DeSalzmann, 2011). […]

Advanced Practice in Tara Brach’s RAIN Protocol So often we humans find ourselves in a state of limbic disarray, with ego defenses stimulating our need to protect ourselves from others – even from ourselves. We feel something is very wrong in this moment, and we allow separateness to pull us into a frenzied effort to […]

Advanced Meditation Practices on Perception As the Sutra story goes, the Buddha instructed Ananda to visit the ailing venerable Girimananda, who was very, very ill.  In an effort to help the ailing man, the Buddha told Ananda to guide him in the Ten Meditation on Perceptions (on sensory input and the objects of mind). According […]

Tips on Practice During These Troubling Times Some people are religious, and I am sure turn to those sources for support and hope. Others are spiritual, and I hope also pursue those sources for emotional stability and closeness to the “their” divine. Other people may  be Agnostic or Atheist; I am certain such people also […]

ACT – The Absolute Basics; Acceptance & Commitment Therapy In this post I begin a series of writing dealing with ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The details below are basic, but perhaps just enough to develop more interest in learning about ACT. Here we go! 1) Act, developed mainly by Steven Hayes Ph.D.and based on […]

Secular Meditation and Addictions Treatment Today we have ample research evidence (NIH, NIDA, SAMHSA, etc.) that mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and mind training all have some effectiveness in improving addiction disorders. In recent meta-analyses the primary effect was through improved emotion regulations, whereas there was a more direct positive impact on chronic pain, depression, and anxiety. […]

 A Practice To  Help Prevent Alzheimer Disease Kirtan Kriya meditation is part of the ancient Kundalini yoga tradition.  Current clinical research dealing with prevention of Alzheimer disease supports its use in medical meditation.  As G. Harrison (The Beatles fame) noted: As you move attention beyond yourself, you may find peace of mind is there.  Sanskrit root […]

Stress In America – How to Deal with it Effectively The American Psychological Association just released the results of its annual stress survey for 2014.  This comprehensive study of stress in America has some serious implications for our health and happiness.  Although self-reported stress levels in many categories are lower than in 2013, the overall […]

Essential Knowledge for Clinical Supervisors This post will include information and skills dealing with research on role induction practices, quality of clinical supervision, psychodynamics of alliance, and progress measurement.  Since the information and skills for all these topics is complex, I will do my best to keep it as clear as possible. This information aims […]

Showing Deep Love & Respect Loved Ones Lost This is a very brief post about love and respect for “lost loved ones” – those special people who have left their human body and mind behind. Two Rituals 1) Loving Kindness Meditation for Lost Loved Ones After breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes in silence, […]

Mindfulness Skills and Psychotherapy Outcomes There are at least ten good reasons why mindfulness training and regular practice may improve psychotherapy outcomes. These reasons assume the training is presented by a well-trained clinician-mindfulness practitioner. Of course improved outcomes also depend upon the client’s motivation and energy to actually practice mindfulness skills on a regular basis. […]

In-Depth Means to Discover and Be Your True Self Henry David Thoreau reminded us that it is not what you look at, but it is what you see that matters. How do you SEE yourself?  John Muir reminded us that the sun shines in us as well as in our souls. Do you find “the […]

Liberate Yourself with Spiritual Energy Cultivating authentic inner and outer peace is the only way to a happy and good future. Learn to use your spiritual higher self to let go of self-centerednesss, greed, and entitlement. Work to free yourself from the endless grasping for material “things.”  Does it really matter what kind of car […]

Chronic Pain and Doing Body Scanning Although doing body scans cannot fully relieve your pain, it may help you manage it better. If your pain is serious and chronic you need to work with a qualified pain management professional, who will use both psychological and medical interventions. Note that a recent issue of Consumer Reports reviewed […]

  My blog site mindfulhappiness.org has many posts on meditation, Buddhism, education, clinical practices and self-activated emotional health practices.  Perhaps you may wish to initiate a Reflective Journal practice after you do practices presented on the site.  There are many  benefits from maintaining a written journal about personal experiences and practices.  Not only does a […]

How Suicide impacts Psychotherapists One of the greatest fears of psychotherapists is that one of their clients will commit suicide.  Here are some common reactions of psychotherapists when one of their clients commits suicide.  In some ways these reactions are sequential, but no exact concrete sequence is well documented. Here is a list to consider. […]

Building Emotional Resilience On a personal note, right now I am suffering.  Its April 15th and I have a terrible viral infection (sore throat, chest congestion, and fever).  I feel weak and miserable.  Perhaps all that frigid air we endured in New England this Winter also kept infectious “stuff” under control for a while. However, […]

Mindful Happiness Tags

EMPTINESS MINDFULNESS CLINICAL SUPERVISION BUDDHISM BRAIN SELF ANTHONY QUINTILIANI THERAPY. JOURNALING TRAINING ACTIVITIES MEDITATION VERMONT SELF MEDICATION THICH NHAT HANH ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER PSYCHOTHERAPY ENLIGHTENMENT SELF ESTEEM MEDITATION PRACTICE PRACTICES ADDICTION EXERCISES MINDFUL MEDITATION COVID-19 COMPASSION MINDFUL VIPASSANA MEDITATION PRACTICE BREATHING CONSCIOUSNESS MBSR MINDFULNESS TRAINING TRAUMA MINDFUL HAPPINESS WISE MIND SELF CARE ACTIVITY WALKING MEDITATION DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI SUFFERING SELF COMPASSION MINDFUL TRAINING VIPASSANA HAPPINESS

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2023 · Mindful Happiness