Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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Brief Update on America’s Opioid Problems-2020

America’s Opioid Problem-2020; A Brief Update

Unfortunately, Opioid Use Disorder (OUD) is alive and well in 2020. Today approximately 150 People are dying each day due to opioid overdose. The CDC noted that from 1999 to 2017 approximately 399,000 people died in the United States from Opioid overdose. Related to chronic pain, this is one of the greatest failures in American medicine; perhaps, now medical training (as well as all mental health and social work training) will include sufficient clinical exposure to Substance Use Disorders ((SUD). Sufficient exposure goes way beyond Motivational Interviewing. Since many recognize addictions as America’s number one healthcare problem, all healthcare providers and school counselors, social workers, psychologist, etc. should receive proper clinical training in the prevention, intervention, and treatment of SUDs. It is about time!

Although in most parts of the country opioid dependence is still quite common, there is hope. Medically Assisted Treatment is being used, which in the best cases (Vermont’s model) includes medications to help reduce opioid cravings and psychoactive effects AND counseling to resolve mental health and addictions problems that lead to OUD in the first place. I, myself, a long time ago was part of a clinical team that established the first methadone clinic in Vermont under the jurisdiction a community mental health center (The Howard Center). As Clinical Director, and with lots of clinical experience and training in co-occurring disorders and the help of many, we were ready to act. Some thought Vermont did not need such a clinic, but on our first day of operation we had a waiting list of over 100 people hoping to receive these services. There is a risk here: current funding models short-change the clinical psychosocial interventions and enhance the medical interventions. For treatment to work long-term, people need BOTH! Even if people are successful at harm reduction regarding OUD, relapse is just around the corner if they do not receive therapy for pre-existing psychological problems (anxiety, depression, trauma, other addictions, and eating disorders). It is estimated that 90% of clients who do not take MAT medications may relapse. MAT with psychosocial clinical interventions sports a success rate of about 50%, which is great considering the severity of OUD. Let’s not be penny-wise and dollar-foolish; let’s not reduce psychosocial interventions that prevent relapse and enhance long-term health status.

For more information refer to The National Psychologist, 28(1), Winter, 2020, pages 1 and 5.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

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Behaviors People Display When in Groups

Behaviors People Display When in Groups

After more than 35 years of facilitating hundreds of classes, workshops, family therapy sessions, group therapy sessions, and work project groups it has become clear that we do some strange things when we participate in groups. It appears to me that many of these in-group functions serve both ego and limbic needs. Yes, our prefrontal brain and our lower brain regions (limbic and rewards) play important (if outdated) roles in how humans function in group settings. Here I will simply list a sampling of such behaviors.  Many of these behaviors need to be observed, assessed, utilized, and sometimes addressed  if a group leader/facilitator/therapist will be successful. Here is the short list of what to observe and use.

  1. Underlying messages and beliefs signaled by behavior and/or facial/emotional expression;
  2. Patterns of communication within the group, both verbal and nonverbal;
  3. Emotional acting out as process or diversion;
  4. Sub-group alliances, both short-term and long-term;
  5. Behavioral changes when the make up of group members change;
  6. The way social and emotional influence are used;
  7. How personal power is used;
  8. Patterns of activity – acting out/ acting in, etc.;
  9. When silence dominates;
  10. Patterns of hostility, cooperation, compassion, caring, etc.;
  11. Possible hidden agendas;
  12. Possible secrets between members;
  13. The openness and closeness of the group and its process;
  14. The power of truth in what is shared and shown;
  15. How people look at each other, and how they address each other;
  16. Self and other oriented talking;
  17. How blame is used;
  18. Willingness to allow others to speak for you – or not; and,
  19. Consistent roles people tend to play.

Although this is a partial list, the best solution is the same: speak truth; share power; protect group process; protect others; do no harm; deeply listen with all your senses; be as kind as possible; be as compassionate as possible; and do your best to help the group achieve its goals. For an interesting view of this process (one based on human doubt), see Abblett, M. (2018). The Five Hurdles to Happiness and the Mindful Path to Overcoming Them. Boulder, CO: Shambhala Publications, pp. 170-218.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

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Journaling and Grief Process

Journaling and Grief Process

Regular brief journaling may be helpful in your grief and horror regarding significant personal losses of self and/or others. Here are the various ways it may be helpful to you.

  1. Writing and reading about your personal loss experience may help you to make sense of the process, and at the same time guide you gently on that path.
  2. Journaling may open up past and present realities – both positive and negative – about your loss experience.
  3. At times anger, resentments, and regrets will come up. These realities open you up to the depth of the grief experience. Do not linger too long there!
  4. S. Kierkegard reminded us that our lived experiences are processed forwardly, but better understood if observed backwards. Journaling helps to focus us on the present but never lets go fully of the past.
  5. It may be important to you to make your personal journal more balanced with both negative and positive experiences. For example, it may be helpful to list all simple pleasures you experienced in any given day. It may also be a good idea not to linger emotionally too long when such experiences trigger negative states.
  6. I have always found it helpful to list my personal gratitudes, even in the midst of painful loss and suffering. It is not uncommon for the most valued experiences to be linked with the lost love-object and your shared life.
  7. If fear and trepidation occur as you move through the grief process, I suggest that you break down the scary moments into smaller, more manageable periods of time, space, and emotions.
  8. Pay attention to and write about both helpful and unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and sensations related to your grief process. Be aware keenly of small improvements in all.
  9. You may notice that as you slowly heal you spend less time journaling. This is natural.
  10. You may wish to do “grave worship” practices, or simply write many good things about the lost person.
  11. V. Frankl noted that when we cannot change the reality of a situation, we may have to change ourself.
  12. When you find yourself crying over your loss, that is a very good time to contemplate and do journaling.
  13. Reading related poetry or writing your own may help you.
  14. If and when you experience the emptiness of the void inside, do your best to find words for the experience. And, work to fill that void by re-engaging with your life as it is now.
  15. It is always a good idea to develop and practice personal rituals about your healing. Write about this in your journal.
  16. S. Becket reminded us that we must go on! As painful as it may be, we cannot stop the process.
  17. As P. Chodron noted, we must allow it all to fall apart before we can find the resilience to face what comes next. In most situations, what comes next is slow improvement in your emotional condition.
  18. Rest in peace with your breath, and do more meditation or yoga if that suits you well.
  19. You may wish to visit optionb.org or other sites that support grief work.

Refer to Sandberg, S. and Grant, A. (2017). Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. New York: A. A. Knopf, pp. 58-76.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

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How to Offer Personal Tribute to Those Who Have Died

How to Offer Personal Tribute to Those Who Have Died

The Four Noble Truths tell us sobering news. There is suffering, and impermanence of all things including us and our loved ones. Below I have listed several thing you can do to HONOR a person you have lost.  Here is the list.

  1. Recall a special time before or at the time of death, and consider it a sacred place in space and time. Honor it and the person with the complete softness of your loving heart.  Do this now if you wish to.
  2. Pray for the person you have lost – and the goodness in that lost relationship.  You can do this if you are agnostic, even atheist. The prayer is to honor the loved person not to one of many gods.
  3. Go to your soft, suffering heart and fill it with joyous remembrances of your time with the person. Yes, the person has moved beyond; however, your internal and emotional memories are quite vibrant. They have made a special place for them self in your soul.
  4. You can carry this to a deeper level by seeing and touching special objects that belonged to the deceased.  Or, you can set up a small shrine in your home to pay respect and honor whenever you wish to do so.
  5. Know that the deceased person would want you to recall your joy, so light up your senses and recall in mild meditative state the pleasant and happy experiences you both shared.  If something happened with them that made you laugh, go there! This is what they wish for you.
  6. Listen to the music the lost person enjoyed, or read something inspirational.
  7. Think carefully of all the ways you could say goodbye again. Do it now if you wish to.
  8. Recall the smile on their face, and smile back. You may be surprised at how powerful this experience may be.
  9. Dedicate meritorious behavior to them. If you wish, set up some special program or fund to champion causes they cared about. The financial level is far less important than the emotional level of actually doing something.
  10. Write a special tribute about them in a journal. Write often, and read what your have written again and again.
  11. Lastly, work carefully to discover some ways to celebrate that person’s life and your relationship. Celebrate often and be calm within the warmth of your love.

For more information refer to Reoch, R. (1997). To Die Well: A Holistic Approach for the Dying and Their Caregivers. New York: Harper. See also Holecek, A. (2013). Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition. Boston: Snow Lion, pp. 312-314.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

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Meditation for Managers and Helpers – Let Me Help Your Organization!

Meditation for Managers and Helpers 

Let’s Talk – Contact Me – Click Here

I am a Licensed Psychologist-Doctorate and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor with 35 years of clinical experience in community clinics, schools, professional organizations, and universities (OSU, UVM, etc.). I have been the past Clinical Director of Howard Center, and Past President of the Vermont Psychological Association. I have provided clinical training on various clinical topics to therapists from all over New England, and as far south at Alexandria, VA and as far west as SanDiego, CA. I serve as the head teacher at The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont, home of the Monkton Sangha. I have published numerous clinical articles, books and workbook. The most recent being Mindful Happiness…  I provide various posts for my blog,  mindfulhappiness.org. For many years I have served as a State of Vermont (DMH, ADAP, AHS) trainer in co-occurring disorders. I also train for NEIAS and AdCare New England. I have been practicing meditation since 1982.

This piece serves as an advertisement for local Vermont managers and therapists as well as a regular post on the blog. Below I will list the proven  benefits ( now thousands of studies on these) for managers and therapists who complete repeated meditation retreats and how the retreat process works. Managers and therapists who complete meditation retreats often report the following benefits. My own short retreats occur on a scheduled Saturday afternoon from 1 to 5/6 PM. Longer retreat periods are also available upon request. Participation is by invitation or you contacting me at anthony1@gmavt.net. My retreat costs are extremely affordable! More on retreat details after we review the benefits.

 Common Benefits of Meditation Retreats and Personal Practice –

  1. Expanded self-understanding
  2. Improved attentional focus
  3. Better focused awareness
  4. The personal experience of being present in mind and body
  5. Adjustments to silence and being without all electronic/digital devices (highly addictive)
  6. The possibility of noticed clarity
  7. Experienced forms of inner energy
  8. More centered calmness or activation
  9. Flowing with, complying or rejecting gentle meditation instructions
  10. Discovery of the many benefits of pure silence
  11. Letting go of day-to-day stressors and torments and simply settling into the “being” process – “choiceness awareness”
  12. Being open to unexpected emotions – could be joy, could be sadness, could be new, could be old, etc.
  13. Experience of staying with the arising emotions without attempts to flee them if unpleasant
  14. Ultimately improved emotional self-regulation
  15. With practice, improvements in anxiety, depression, trauma, and addictions (mainly emotion regulation)
  16. Noticing the phases:
  17. A) – Settling into the process and being at surface levels of awareness and experience; B) – Deepening into emotional realities of just BEING – deeper opening up to personal realities of past-present-future and not trying to escape anything positive or negative; C) – Slow re-adjustment to non-meditative experiences, and a readiness to enter into more typical personal experiences.

How I Manage My Own Silent Retreats (Typical Saturday Afternoon or for Longer Periods) –

  1. People arrive at 1 Pm for a brief social period and tea.
  2. At the sound of the singing bowl, we enter the living room and sit in a circle and listen to the day’s plan.
  3. Then we check in – voluntary. Do you wish to share your hopes for the day or share anything else with the group?
  4. We enter the retreat center for the Nine Bells Meditation, a brief meditation focused on any important person/s or relationship/s you have lost. It may also focus on something inside of yourself you feel you have lost.
  5. Loving Kindness Meditation follows the Nine Bells.
  6. We now do kinkin, or slower and silent walking meditation (outside weather permitting, inside if not).
  7. In warmer weather, we may add outside yoga, tai chi or qigong practices.
  8. We move back into the meditation room, where I lead meditations I have designed for your specific needs or retreat request.
  9. We do kinkin again.
  10. We sit in the circle in the living room again and write in our journals – voluntary. We are still silent. Bring a journal.
  11. We check out in our circle – voluntary sharing.
  12. You decide if you wish to take written copies of the meditation you experienced.
  13. You decide if you want meditation coaching from me at an agreed-upon, low cost.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!