Mindful Happiness Returns –
We return after a long absense. There is still an integral part of the site that will be missing, founder Dr Anthony Quintiliani passed after a fierce battle with cancer. I choose to let his spirit live on through the blog we started together. – It did take a while for me to get strong enough to get going again. I relect on him daily with admiration, respect, and thankfulness. I do wonder how he may be viewing this first post since his passing.
“What Uncle Anthony Might Say About Me Using ChatGPT”
—In memory, on the third year of his passing
It’s been three years since Uncle Anthony passed, and still his voice shows up—usually when I least expect it. I’ll be halfway through typing a sentence, locked in my own thoughts, and suddenly hear him –
“Respect your elders.”
He would always say with a sideways grin. Always with more heart than command.
He lived on 30 wooded acres in Monkton, Vermont—a place that felt more like a sanctuary than a homestead. This is the kind of place where time settled down and silence stretched its legs. A place where cell signals faded, but people found connection in other ways. He built a presence there into a refuge—not just for himself, but for others. He ran meditative retreats there. Helped establish addiction counseling centers in nearby towns. People didn’t just visit Anthony—they came to themselves in his presence.
And now here I am, sitting in front of a glowing screen, using a language model to help me write about the very man who barely tolerated email. He used to print his messages so he could read them like real letters. He called computers “necessary distractions” and labeled himself a “technology troglodyte,” though even that seemed too modern for him.
So I can almost see him now—sitting on his porch, sipping strong coffee from Ellie’s favorite mug—watching me talk to a machine with a skeptical eye.
“A conversation? With a computer?”
A pause. That familiar breath in. Hmmph
“Well… if it gets you writing.”
Because here’s the truth: for all his quiet resistance to the digital world, Anthony believed in tools that brought people back to themselves. Meditation, breath, walks in the woods, forgiveness, deep listening—anything that pointed toward presence and peace. If he could’ve seen this as another path to awareness—a different trail winding through the woods of the mind—he might’ve nodded, maybe even been z little more curious than he revealed.
I think he’d chuckle at my stubbornness, my hunger to understand, my efforts to write something meaningful about him using technology he would’ve never touched. But I also think he’d see that I’m trying. Trying to carry his gentleness into a very noisy world. Trying to slow down long enough to remember him well. Trying, above all, to honor the man who was like a second father to me—especially in the years when I needed guidance, not noise.
So yep, I’m here—typing, thinking, asking questions of a machine that answers back. But in my heart, I’m still walking that foot-worn path behind his home, where the raw woodlands filled with unfettered trees whispered lessons in stillness and pace of life.
And maybe, just maybe, he’d say what he always said when he knew he was right, but wanted me to come to it myself:
“Respect your elders.”
And I’d smile. Because I do. I always have.
Miss you every day Uncle and yes I’m still questioning myself at every turn…
Mindful Happiness will continue and grow!
severe stressors, we also suffer from the virus, separation/divorce, developmental stress, incarceration, and the loss of the way of life in pre-COVID-19. Americans are suffering from various bio-psycho-social-spiritual dimensions of stress, loss and grief. Perhaps the correct words to use are “complicated grief.” Our current experiences with loss and grief go far beyond the stage-based versions of 
powerful clinical alliance are important for therapeutic success. Below, I list (only) various treatments, most supported by empirical research and practice. I will leave it you the reader to look more deeply into treatments or interventions they may prefer. Here is the list: Trauma-Informed Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based therapies/practices (breath work, meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi-gong and MBSR or ACT), Continued Bonds Theory – the changed internal relationship with the lost person, and Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy – utilizing attachment styles of secure, insecure, anxious or avoidant.
level; in 2020 that number rose to 5.9. Now 74% of respondent noted their stress dealt with fears and concerns about coronavirus; this same number had concerns about how the government was responding to this mega-crisis. Additionally, 71% of respondents noted that managing their child’s education was a major source of increased stress. The concerns and stress do not appear to be highly related to political party affiliations: 63% of Republicans, 67% of Independents, and 73% of Democrats were worried/stressed about coronavirus concerns. Stress appears to be impacting more so on people of color. Hispanic adults noted stress levels between 8 and 10 regarding the virus. When one compares the levels of stress for people of color with whites, there is no doubt people of color are suffering more – having higher levels of stress reactivity: fear of getting the virus 71% vs. 59%; meeting basic needs 61% vs, 47%; and, access to health care services 59% vs. 46%. For more information Stress in America 2020 may be found at www.apa.org.
increased errors in care. This pandemic is surely one of the most serious challenges this nation (and the world) have faced. It does not appear that the crisis will end soon.
Intimate relationships are often the source of many years of happiness and satisfaction, and sometimes the cause of great pain and suffering. It depends! I will list various realities of initiating and maintaining a positive intimate relationship. After reading these, ask yourself: Where is my relationship? If you are unhappy, do something about it. Stay safe in the process.
anger, intimate partners need to retreat to their executive, cognitive, prefrontal brain power. Taking a break from complicated conversations may be helpful.
we should always appreciate the preciousness and miracle of human life – our own life no matter what the challenges are.
