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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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July 5, 2019 By Admin

Failure and Success: After We Fail, We Succeed

Failure and Success: After We Fail, We Succeed

Humans tend to get very discouraged when things do not go our way. This may be especially true for younger people, who have grown up attached to their instant gratification digital devices. Below I will list several highly successful people, but I will also note their many failures before they succeeded in life.

To make this post more personal I will begin with myself, although I do not AT ALL pretend to be famous like the people who will follow. I was ill as a child; my illness required me to be home-tutored for about 2 years. I missed all the basics in grades 1 and 2. When I returned to school in the third grade (with an incompetent teacher) I was hopelessly behind in the basics of English language skills, math skills, etc. Things were so bad that I had to participate in special education for a number of months just to catch up on the basics. I failed in my early educational experiences, but I succeeded in many other ways later. Lucky for me that my earlier school failure did not harm my self-esteem. However, even today I notice that I work harder academically than necessary for no clear and conscious reasons. The love from my parents and siblings helped me during my earlier failures. With parental and family supports and encouragement, hard work, and rigid determination I was able to do better later in public school. That said, I did no studying in grades 9 and 10, but decided to open a few books in grade 11 just in case I decided to apply to college. Some, very few, of my high school teachers thought I possessed good potential. I was more interested in part-time work to pay for my car, and going to parties with my friends. My real introduction to learning happened when I was a first year college student; I pulled an all-nighter for a Greek History exam. My Dean had warned me that I may be required to leave college in December due to poor grades (C-s), so I decided to do some academic work. There was NO ROOM for failing in education in my family. My father was totally shocked when he came to my room to say goodnight at 11PM!  At that moment I realized (an AHAhhh! moment) that there were some parts of learning and especially reading that I liked. My father, a man of far greater intelligence and wisdom than I will ever have, was unable to pursue his own education – or even complete high school. His father, a skilled stone mason, was injured at work so my dad had to quit school to support his own family of origin. My parents behaviorally conditioned us to desire higher education and training. Of four children, three completed doctorate degrees and one had a long and very successful career in a specialized trade. I graduated with high honors from college and eventually earned two Master’s degrees, a Certificate of Advanced Study, and a Ph.D. (in Psychology). I have had a successful 35-year career in mental health and addictions treatment (mainly psychology of healing) as well as teaching in higher education (The Ohio State University and The University of Vermont, etc.). I now feel generally good about my accomplishments.  Now on to the very famous people you all know; these people made it BIG eventually but had many, many failures along the way. They never gave up!

Abraham Lincoln – “Honest Abe” was perhaps the most effective President in American history. He saved the Union and maintained The United States of America at great cost to himself and others. Here are some of his earlier failures before greatness. When he more of less failed as a business person, he turned his attention to politics. He failed to win election to his state legislature; he failed to win election to Congress; he failed to win appointment as Commissioner of The General Land Office; he failed to win election to the Senate; he failed to win nomination for Vice President in 1856; and, again failed to win election to the Senate a second time.  Lincoln never gave up!

Henry Ford – The person who revolutionized the industrial age when he made cars successfully via assembly lines at reasonable costs. However, Henry Ford failed five times; he became bankrupt and in debt before he made it big. Ford never gave up!

Winston Churchill – The iron man of Britain in the second World War. He failed the sixth grade. He never won a public elections despite several attempts until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62. His first major political success was in his 60s. He is remembered for many great things. One important thing we remember about him is his statement about “never, never, never, never  give up!” Churchill never gave up!

Charles Darwin – Darwin gave up a medical career to pursue his heart-felt interests in biology and evolution. In his autobiography, he noted that all his teachers and his father considered him to be a very ordinary person and below the common standards of intelligence. Darwin never gave up!

Babe Ruth – He was famous for his generally unmatched home run records. Rust hit 714 home runs; however, on the way he also produced 1,330 strike outs. Do the math! His strike out record was close to 50% of his home run record. Ruth never gave up!

Walt Disney – The most famous of all cartoon and cartoon entertainment innovators.  He was fired from a newspaper job because he lacked imagination and had few good ideas. His initial proposal for Disneyland park in Anaheim, California, was rejected by the city due to their belief that up-standing people would never attend such a place. Disney Never gave up!

The Beatles – Perhaps the most successful rock and roll group in the history of the world (some say The Grateful Dead). Decca Records and Columbia Records refused to sponsor the Beatles because they did not like their sound and because guitars were on their way out of popular music. The Beatles never gave up!

Elvis Presley – The “King of Rock and Roll” was fired after one performance by Jimmy Denny at the Grande Old Opry. Elvis was advised to go back to truck driving for his work. He eventually changed music forever. Elvis never gave up!

Thomas Edison – His teachers thought he was dumb. He was fired from his first two jobs due to being un-productive. He made 1,000 attempts to invite the light bulb. He eventually succeeded. Edison never gave up!

Albert Einstein – Famous for his theories about Relativity, he revolutionized the field of physics and astronomy. As a child he was a slow learner, not speaking until age four and not reading until age seven. His teachers noted that he was mentally slow. He was expelled from school, and failed to be accepted at the Zurich Polytechnic School. However, he succeeded in so many grand ways. Einstein never gave up!

This post is not to suggest that any of us may be as great as some the famous people noted above. However, it is testament to being stubborn in the face of adversity, and never giving up. Get up and go onward, over and over and over again. Good luck on your journey.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Benefits of Mindfulness, Failure, Featured, Mindful Movement, MIndfulness, Success Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, FAILURE, SUCCESS

June 19, 2019 By Admin

Chronic Pain and Doing Body Scanning

Chronic Pain and Doing Body Scanning

Although doing body scans cannot fully relieve your pain, it may help you manage it better. If your pain is serious and chronic you need to work with a qualified pain management professional, who will use both psychological and medical interventions. Note that a recent issue of Consumer Reports reviewed research and suggested that addictive pain medications and surgery should be the last options for most people.  I have modified and integrated body scan instructions presented by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Thich Nhat Hanh. I have also added my own body scan style and process. Kabat-Zinn noted that body scan meditations may be the most effective mindfulness meditation practice for management of physical pain. I would add that it may also help with psychological or emotional pain as well. For best results practice the body scan for 45 minutes every day. Strong practice brings better outcomes. Here are the instructions.

  1. While lying flat on your back on a soft surface, place your body in a comfortable outstretched position.  Now just rest and breath gently.
  2. Close your eyes and get a “feel” for how your body is being experienced at this time.
  3. With your eyes still closed take a few long, deep, slow breaths and notice how the lower belly (hara) rises and falls on the in-breath and the out-breath. Notice the feel of interoception in your body.
  4. If your mind loses focus, gently bring attention back to the body.
  5. If you experience pain while doing this scan, go slow and easy as you accept it and breathe through it. If you experience too much pain, stop the body scan and seek professional advice.
  6. Bring complete attention to your feet, and as you focus and breathe allow your body to feel as if it is sinking a bit into the surface below you. Allow the surface to support your body and your mind.
  7. Pay strong attention to your right foot, and slowly move attention from the foot to the ankle, lower leg, knee, thigh, hip and into lower belly. Allow time at pass (4-5 minutes at each location) before moving to the next body area in this sequence.
  8. Now move attention from the lower belly up to the chest and the to front of the neck. Rest a while as you pay close attention to the emotional energies in the front of the neck. Notice.
  9. With deliberate action move your attention to the chin, lower lip, upper lip, nose, ridge of the nose, eye brows, third eye area, over forehead and all the way up to the top, center of the head. Again, spend 4-5 minutes at each area. Once at the top of the head, rest there for a few moments. Notice.
  10. From the top of the head, allow attention to drift to the lower back neck, and down the backbone slowly – bone by bone. Stop at the base of the back. Be sure you are still breathing deeply, slowly.
  11. Move your attention to your left hip, and slowly move attention down the lower body – from the left hip to the thigh, knee, lower leg, ankle and down to the left foot and toes. Rest there for a while. Breathe fully. Relax. Notice.
  12. Now return your attention to the top, center of your head. Notice the “feel” there again.
  13. Allow the movement of attention and interoceptive perception to slowly slide over the sides of your head and face – next to your eyes, the ears, down your cheeks, stopping at the sides of your neck. Rest there for a moment. Notice. Be sure to allow 4-5 minutes at each area before moving on to the next area. Energize your attention and prepare to use it in new ways.
  14. Notice how it feels when you move attention out to the shoulder tips, then slowly down the upper arms, to your elbows and lower arms.  Stop and notice how you feel when you reach your wrists.
  15. Use your imagination to bring full attention to both hands and follow the sensations of awareness all the way out to your finger tips. Rest for a moment. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly.
  16. Once you feel the attentional energies in your fingers, place both hands over your heart area and rest. Remain in this position for at least five minutes, breathing deeply and slowly with both hands resting on your heart area. If attention wanders, gently bring it back to your heart area.
  17. In this position very gently and slowly rock your body side to side. Notice what you notice!
  18. To extend the time of your body scan, you may begin again in reverse direction. This time starting at the top, center of your head and slowly moving attention and sensation down your body all the way to your feet and toes.
  19. For your ending, simply breath slowly and deeply and rest fully. Rest in Yoga Nidra if you know how to do so. Simply be with your body and breath.
  20. Before rising, move your body slowly side to side and sit first. Be sure your legs hold you as you rise from the floor ever so slowly.

For more information refer to Harvard Medical School (2019). Pain Relief Without Drugs or Surgery: Natural and Integrative Ways to Reduce Your Suffering and Take Control of Your Life. Cambridge, MA: Harvard Medical School Special Health Report. See also various instructions on body scans by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Thich Nhat Hanh. You may appreciate his instructions on mouth yoga as part of this practice.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Body Scan, Chronic Pain, Featured, Harvard Medical school, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Thich Nhat Hanh, Yoga, Yoga Nidra Tagged With: BODY SCANN, CHRONIC PAIN, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICE

April 20, 2019 By Admin

A Buddhist Sutta on Your Desires and Suffering

A Buddhist Sutta on Your Desires and Suffering

This post is about the Buddhist Sutta called The Gilana Sutta (SN 35:74). It is a touching story about a young monk, who became very ill. Another monk informed The Buddha of the young monk’s health conditions. Buddha visited and hoped he had improved and held on to some comfort. The ill monk replied that he had not improved and was not at all comfortable.  The Buddha replied, then I hope you have no anxiety or remorse. To which the ill monk replied, that he did have anxiety and remorse. Buddha inquired about the nature of the monk’s anxiety and remorse; the ill monk noted that he understood the Damma (Dharma teaching) included the fading of passions. When Buddha asked about the monk’s sensory desires, all were reported as stressfully inconsistent. The Buddha reminded the monk that all experiences of senses and mind were subject to change, and change was impermanence – sometimes cessation leading to dissatisfaction. In his current situation, this was the monk’s own experiences of the self – who and what I am now.

Now the ill monk realized that liberation from pain and suffering was related to him becoming disenchanted from sensory desires and intellectual/mental understanding related to sensory desires. Attachments to what the monk desired. The ill monk worked on his own dispassion from sensory desires, and eventually entered a state of being released, liberated from the suffering of sensory desires and related thoughts about them. Their meeting ended with the monk feeling liberated from his sensory desires and related thoughts – all about pain and suffering. The Buddha ended the conversation noting that all experiences are subject to dependent origination, and that all such experiences are subject to cessation – thus impermanence. In his newfound realization and liberation, the monk was neither anxious or remorseful. He was just a being, being in an impermanent experience.

How are you doing with you sensory desires and related thoughts about them?  Do you realize that your energy in pursuing sensory desires and related thoughts simply may add to your own suffering?  Can you be comfortable being alone with yourself, or not having what you desire? This is not nihilism; this is being in “The Middle Way” about your life experience. This is about radically accepting that which you do not desire but cannot change, and appreciating that which you enjoy but cannot hold on to. It is about releasing and reducing your own ego involvement with your life experiences. Egolessness is a hard goal to achieve in practice. May you be safe, healthy, free from suffering, happy, and be at ease with life.

For more information refer to https//www.dammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN35 74html. See also Okawa, R. (2018). The Challenge of the Mind: An Essential Guide to Buddha’s Teachings in Zen, Karma, and Enlightenment. New York: IRH Press, pp. 104-129.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Buddhism, Buddhist Sutta, Dharma Teaching, Featured Tagged With: BUDDHIST SUTTA, DHARMA TEACHING, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, THE GILANA SUTTA

April 14, 2018 By Admin

Meditation on Ecodharma and Buddhist Ecology

Meditation on Ecodharma and Buddhist Ecology  

  1. Sit calmly and begin to breathe in and out deeply and slowly.
  2. Open your eyes to see and appreciate the natural environment you are in.
  3. Close your eyes now if you wish to do so.
  4. Know that this nature – the sky, clouds, stars, father sun, mother moon, especially the trees – is your natural environment of being in this life.
  5. This biosphere is our sacred ground, from which we all arise and to which we all fall at our end.
  6. Mother earth and the surrounding universe deserve our deepest respect.
  7. In Asia, forest monks have ordained old, wise trees to spare them from the wrath of consumerism.
  8. Know that ecodharma is an activist Buddhist program aimed at protecting nature and the earth.
  9. We are living and dying in a vast ecological man made disaster, escape from which requires that our species survives AND that the earth survives as well.
  10. Our survival depends upon a healthy, breathing, cleansing earth and atmosphere.
  11. Now take a few minutes in your own silent solitude to contemplate deeply what has been noted above. Pause.
  12. Recall that The Buddha was confronted by the devil-like Mara. This was an attack on his hard-won enlightenment. The Buddha touched the ground with his fingers and hand to re-establish his connection to mother earth, and his enlightenment survived all challenges.
  13. So today, we should all touch the earth gently with respect – we can touch earth with our fingers, hands, feet, heart, soul, and self.  We may even wish to prostrate ourselves on mother earth to show our deep love and respect.
  14. The Buddha was born, lived, became enlightened , and died (parinibbana) in the gracious company of trees.
  15. Thich Nhat Hanh noted that our caring for and being with the earth is a way of reconnecting with interbeing of all living things.  This great teacher also advised us that to walk and live on Pure Land requires that we love the earth.
  16. Soto Zen founder Eihei Dogen noted that rivers, mountains, and “the great wide earth” as well as “the sun and the moon and the stars” are all part of our personal enlightenment in our minds.
  17. Take a few more minutes to contemplate these teaching. Pause.
  18. Today’s bodhisattva have become an ecosattva to help save the world and humankind – the greatest and most noble act of active compassion and love.
  19. We must be fearless as we confront the extremes of “conspicuous consumption” and its destruction of the earth and all living things. This deadly competition may kill all of us in the future.
  20. Contemplate on this: What will you do very soon to join this battle to save mother earth and the human race as we know it? Pause.

For more information refer to https://tricycle.org/trikedaily/growing-buddhist movement… https://tricycle.org/trikedaily/trees-meditation-teaching... https://tricycle.org/magazine/100-best-climate-solutions… https://tricycle.org/magazine/love-letter-earth… Retrieved 4-21-18

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Buddhism, Ecdharma, Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, ECODHARMA, MEDITATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS

April 7, 2018 By Admin

The Great Mother of Gratitude Meditation

The Great Mother of Gratitude Meditation

  1. Sit in silence and take a few very slow, very deep breaths in and out.
  2. Relax within your personal comfort with eyes opened or closed. If you prefer your eyes to be open, hold you head level and gently gaze down a few feet in front of you. Continue to breathe slowly and deeply.
  3. Let go of tension in your jaw, in your neck, and in your shoulders.
  4. Do your best to rest your mind.
  5. When your mind wonders away, simply remind yourself that this gratitude meditation is FOR YOU.
  6. Begin each statement below with inner, loving speech – as “I have gratitude for…”
  7. Being alive today, experiencing my precious human life;
  8. My ever-beating heart;
  9. My lungs;
  10. All my functioning senses;
  11. My smile;
  12. Having clean running water;
  13. Having running hot water;
  14. Sleeping in my bed;
  15. Eating food today;
  16. My job with all its difficulties;
  17. My relative safety;
  18. My family;
  19. My friends;
  20. My pet/s if I own any;
  21. The unconditional love I have received;
  22. Having experienced love of some kind in my life;
  23. My relative good health;
  24. The people, places, and things that have helped me to experience joy and happiness;
  25. My relative personal happiness;
  26. My relative freedom from greater suffering;
  27. Not starving like so many children in this world;
  28. Being able to speak my truths in freedom;
  29. Not being bombed and shot at like in war zones;
  30. Not fleeing gigantic forrest fires;
  31. Not fleeing gigantic mud slides;
  32. Not fearing for my life in gigantic storms;
  33. Not living in the deep despair of utter poverty;
  34. Being “good enough” as I am;
  35. Being as I am – how and what I am;
  36. Mother nature and her wonders; and,
  37. Being able to repeat this gratitude meditation as often as I wish to do so.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Gratitude Meditation, Meditation, MIndfulness, Practices Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, GRATITUDE MEDITATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESWS

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Amitabha Buddha – Pure Land Meditation The following meditation had been modified by me to make it a more specific self-healing meditation and to better fit the time we now live in. Sit quietly and complete 3-4 deep, calming breaths. Pay attention to the quality and density of the light you see outside of your […]

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The Great Mother of Gratitude Meditation Sit in silence and take a few very slow, very deep breaths in and out. Relax within your personal comfort with eyes opened or closed. If you prefer your eyes to be open, hold you head level and gently gaze down a few feet in front of you. Continue […]

Showing Deep Love & Respect Loved Ones Lost This is a very brief post about love and respect for “lost loved ones” – those special people who have left their human body and mind behind. Two Rituals 1) Loving Kindness Meditation for Lost Loved Ones After breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes in silence, […]

Psychodynamics of Alliance – Therapeutic Relationship Enhancement This post includes basic considerations, processes, and clinical skills necessary for developing a strongly positive clinical alliance and therapeutic relationship in therapy.  Here the alliance is required for any substantial change in psychotherapy, and the therapeutic relationship rides the quality of the initial alliance to expand and inter-penetrate […]

A Radical Feminist in her Time Over 800 years ago Hildegard of Bingen presented radical viewpoints on women-power and male-dominance in the Christian Church, stone/gem healing, meditation, insight and intellect, the web of life or planetary oneness, being in nature, environmentalism, and personal stories of suffering, etc.  Despite her outspoken manner and her popularity among […]

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The True Nature of Phenomena Here I will present common steps in the process of vipassana meditation.  My presentation will end with a brief discussion of nirvana (enlightenment). 1) It will be helpful not to have strong conceptual intention about your goal of attaining insight.  You will know when you have entered it via your […]

Tonglen Meditation or Giving and Taking I have added various posts about many compassion practice.  Earlier posts have covered a range of practices – from super-easy to more demanding. Here, I will add a more advanced practice.  This Tibetan compassion meditation practice has been taught often in the Vajrayana school of Buddhism.  In my opinion […]

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Mindfulness & Happiness – Tools In this post I will provide basic instructions for several mind-body practices that allow calm equanimity both at rest and in action.  We will cover RAIN, RAINDROP, Cloud Journeying, Gratitude, Tapping, and other Body-Based practices. RAIN (Tara Brach) – This simple to use approach helps you to maintain a cognitive […]

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