Mindful Happiness Returns –
We return after a long absense. There is still an integral part of the site that will be missing, founder Dr Anthony Quintiliani passed after a fierce battle with cancer. I choose to let his spirit live on through the blog we started together. – It did take a while for me to get strong enough to get going again. I relect on him daily with admiration, respect, and thankfulness. I do wonder how he may be viewing this first post since his passing.
“What Uncle Anthony Might Say About Me Using ChatGPT”
—In memory, on the third year of his passing
It’s been three years since Uncle Anthony passed, and still his voice shows up—usually when I least expect it. I’ll be halfway through typing a sentence, locked in my own thoughts, and suddenly hear him –
“Respect your elders.”
He would always say with a sideways grin. Always with more heart than command.
He lived on 30 wooded acres in Monkton, Vermont—a place that felt more like a sanctuary than a homestead. This is the kind of place where time settled down and silence stretched its legs. A place where cell signals faded, but people found connection in other ways. He built a presence there into a refuge—not just for himself, but for others. He ran meditative retreats there. Helped establish addiction counseling centers in nearby towns. People didn’t just visit Anthony—they came to themselves in his presence.
And now here I am, sitting in front of a glowing screen, using a language model to help me write about the very man who barely tolerated email. He used to print his messages so he could read them like real letters. He called computers “necessary distractions” and labeled himself a “technology troglodyte,” though even that seemed too modern for him.
So I can almost see him now—sitting on his porch, sipping strong coffee from Ellie’s favorite mug—watching me talk to a machine with a skeptical eye.
“A conversation? With a computer?”
A pause. That familiar breath in. Hmmph
“Well… if it gets you writing.”
Because here’s the truth: for all his quiet resistance to the digital world, Anthony believed in tools that brought people back to themselves. Meditation, breath, walks in the woods, forgiveness, deep listening—anything that pointed toward presence and peace. If he could’ve seen this as another path to awareness—a different trail winding through the woods of the mind—he might’ve nodded, maybe even been z little more curious than he revealed.
I think he’d chuckle at my stubbornness, my hunger to understand, my efforts to write something meaningful about him using technology he would’ve never touched. But I also think he’d see that I’m trying. Trying to carry his gentleness into a very noisy world. Trying to slow down long enough to remember him well. Trying, above all, to honor the man who was like a second father to me—especially in the years when I needed guidance, not noise.
So yep, I’m here—typing, thinking, asking questions of a machine that answers back. But in my heart, I’m still walking that foot-worn path behind his home, where the raw woodlands filled with unfettered trees whispered lessons in stillness and pace of life.
And maybe, just maybe, he’d say what he always said when he knew he was right, but wanted me to come to it myself:
“Respect your elders.”
And I’d smile. Because I do. I always have.
Miss you every day Uncle and yes I’m still questioning myself at every turn…
Mindful Happiness will continue and grow!
Harvard for related reasons. In 1967 he went to India to study under Hindu Sadhu Neem, Karoli Baba, also known as Maharaj-ji. Before his teacher died, Alpert was named Ram Dass (Servant of God). He practiced bhakti yoga – pure love on the spiritual path. In 1974 Ram Dass returned to the United States, where he developed his own style of meditation, a style that radically integrated various forms of spiritual traditions. In 1971 he published his first book, Be Here Now; this book helped open up higher consciousness to others without the use of drug and expounded a life role of service to others. In 2004 Ram Dass relocated to Maui, where he remained for the rest of his life. In 1997 he wrote Still Here. In some ways this book helped to clarify his deeper understanding of himself; the depth was the result of a serious stroke he suffered. His cerebral hemorrhage forced him to go deeper into self-understanding. In 2004 he survived a near-fatal infection. From his stroke on Ram Dass was mainly homebound. His last book (with Mirabai Bush) was 
creating Living Dying Project and Doorway to Light; Seva Foundation (healthcare for underserved areas); and, Social Venture Network (for businesses). Yes, Ram Dass lived his talk – he walked the walk!
thing about you. Note how the aim of some ads is to improve your perceived status, but not your inner reality of who you really are.Yes, looking ok, being healthy, and more importantly being happy are all important to our successful functioning. However, we tend to be dominated by limbic-brain survival mechanisms that boil down to interpersonal attraction and feeling liked by others. We ask: Am I good enough? D. W. Winnicott may have some answers for us, and he would be more apt to focus on psychological well-being above superficial qualities – how we look, status, etc.
thoughts. Cognitive Therapy, Recovery Oriented Cognitive Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy all can help reduce our thought-caused suffering. These approaches when implemented correctly work much faster than psychodynamic methods, which tend to prolong and deepen dependency on therapists and serve mutually self-rewarding experiences (some unconscious for therapists). All evidence-based approaches work, but how well and how fast do they work? There may be a moral question involved when a therapist uses a much slower method with outcomes that are no better than more efficient methods. They all involve a strong therapeutic alliance and clinical relationship. That also all involve a deeper change process not simply symptom reduction.
mindful self-compassion.
authentic happiness has little to do with being wealthy. Commit to reflect deeply on your action in life, and choose your pure, clear heart to be kind, generous, good, and loving to others. In the end, great kindness and love are far more important than material wealth. These statements are the informed advice of J. M. Bergoglio, that is Pope Francis. It does not matter if your are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, etc. What matters is that you are a good person, a good person leading a kind and loving life. A person who does not harm others, but instead helps others from the goodness of your heart and soul.