Loving Kindness – An Alternative Version
The writings of Thich Nhat Hanh offer a different version of Loving Kindness Meditation or Metta (Pali). This version may be influenced by Buddhaghosa in Visuddhimagga (or The Path to Purification, fifth century system of The Buddha’s teachings). The 
reality of no-self, or a static, permanent and inherent self is a core teaching of Buddhism; however, humans do experience life in Samsara via their perceived self – the experiencer of events and circumstances. Sensory awareness and mental formation make our realities. It is important to know yourself well, thus it is important to go deeper and deeper into the sources of your self-experiences. Negative emotions and feelings cause great suffering; fears and internal turmoil prevent happiness. To move beyond suffering, we need to understand and experience self-compassion and self-love. Our best hope may be the regular practice of Loving Kindness Meditation, especially if we are able to feel (interoception) the words as they transform inner body feelings and mind-thoughts. Here is a version of loving kindness. Try it. I have made several of my own adjustments in wording.
May I be free from suffering, aversion, and emotional conflict.
May I be mindful of peace and affection.
May I experience the inner light of my soul and feel safe.
May I learn from the loving spirit of myself.
May I be free from all afflictions, including greed, craving, fear, anger, and negative moods.
May I practice freeing myself from the skandhas of form (body), feelings, perception, mental formations, and consciousness.
May I learn to be at peace in impermanence when such things arise.
May I liberate myself from the suffering of my own “second arrows.”
May I allow myself the inner joy of silence.
May I accept and love myself.
May I be happy.
For more information refer to Thich Nhat Hanh (2014). No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering. Parallax Press.
Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC
From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha
Author of Mindful Happiness
“experience near empathy” (Kohut), “unconditional positive regard” (Rogers), “hovering attention” (Freud), “the holding environment” in “intersubjective space” (Winnicott), and compassionate awareness to emotional distancing, separation, and dispassion is no easy task. In more in-depth clinical interactions, the process of projective identification between therapist and client may drain your emotional resources; sometimes being “as if” you were the experiencer of your client’s pain and suffering can take a serious toll on your own emotional resources. At time the therapist’s own emotional life lacks the quality of connection experienced in the therapy session. Success in setting emotional boundaries is a very important self-care skill. It may determine your success, failure, joy, or misery in the clinical work you do. It will definitely prevent most case of “burn out.”
helping skills. We suffer just like other people do. Hopefully, our training and experience have given us a bit of a positive edge here. Here are some things you may wish to consider to improve your own level of self-compassion.
thing about you. Note how the aim of some ads is to improve your perceived status, but not your inner reality of who you really are.Yes, looking ok, being healthy, and more importantly being happy are all important to our successful functioning. However, we tend to be dominated by limbic-brain survival mechanisms that boil down to interpersonal attraction and feeling liked by others. We ask: Am I good enough? D. W. Winnicott may have some answers for us, and he would be more apt to focus on psychological well-being above superficial qualities – how we look, status, etc.
thoughts. Cognitive Therapy, Recovery Oriented Cognitive Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy all can help reduce our thought-caused suffering. These approaches when implemented correctly work much faster than psychodynamic methods, which tend to prolong and deepen dependency on therapists and serve mutually self-rewarding experiences (some unconscious for therapists). All evidence-based approaches work, but how well and how fast do they work? There may be a moral question involved when a therapist uses a much slower method with outcomes that are no better than more efficient methods. They all involve a strong therapeutic alliance and clinical relationship. That also all involve a deeper change process not simply symptom reduction.
mindful self-compassion.
(drugs of abuse, alcohol, nicotine, opioids, cell phones, and “conspicuous consumption” as anormal process). So instead of healthy self-care many American take the path of least resistance and self-medicate. To improve psychological and physical health, we need to ritualize self-care practices. We need to make them one of our most important priorities on a regular basis. You may want to note that you must care for your child within. The list below provides some starting points for you to consider. Try as many of these practices as you can, and adopt as ritual a few you really like. Remember effective self-care is bio-psycho-social-spiritual. Ritualize it!
