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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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November 26, 2020 By Admin

Personal Happiness in the Age of COVID-19

Personal Happiness in the Age of COVID-19

We are all in this together!  However, wealth and employment status do play important roles. RTI International and the Consortium for Implementation Science have serious concerns about the links between racial equity, social justice, and personal responses to COVID-19. Neuroscience notes that personal happiness in a brain-mind-body thing. Its formula is hard-wired in our brain. In difficult times, it is even more important to figure out your personal formula (without self-medication) to satisfactory levels of joy and happiness. Because happiness is physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual (in ways) we need to focus more now on experiencing it. We cannot be happy if we focus more on fear, anxiety, and depression; we need to make happiness a personal priority. According to a poll by the American Psychiatric Association, over one-third of Americans noted that the pandemic has impacted their mental health in negative ways. According to the American Psychological Association, two-thirds of adults experience better well-being in post-traumatic growth. Here are some things you can do to improve/expand your personal happiness in these times.

  1. Do your best to find positive and helpful interpretations of your experience.
  2. Maintaining a hopeful attitude is important.
  3. Hold on to empathy for yourself and for others.
  4. Spend some time relaxing with your favorite music.
  5. Watch lots of comedy.
  6. Happiness is an inside job, so end the blame game. This is not to say unfairness does not exist.
  7. Do your best to eat well, sleep well, exercise and use proven stress coping skills daily.
  8. Connect with other you care about – and who care about you.
  9. Move your body!
  10. Practice proven breathing techniques that calm us – and or excite us.
  11. Follow Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice and savor anything you can – do not rush it.
  12. Keep in mind that Buddhism implies impermanence is primary – nothing stays the same over time.
  13. Get qualified/licensed professional help when you need it – do not delay.

Since the list of courses for this information is plentiful, I will not list them.  Google the topic if you wish.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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Filed Under: Activities, Buddhism, Covid-19, Featured, Happiness, MIndfulness, Self Care, Spiritual Energy, Thich Nhat Hanh Tagged With: COVID-19, MINDFULHAPPINESS, PERSONAL HAPPINESS

January 12, 2020 By Admin

Two Forms of Self-Help Journaling

Self-Help Journaling – Two Methods

Generally there are two forms of self-help journaling: writing about worries and concerns OR writing about joy and happiness. In my more than 35 years of clinical experience I have not found the former to be very helpful. Most people stuck in negative mood states are not easily able to disengage themselves from negative, worrisome thoughts. For these folks journaling and placing more cognitive and emotional attention on negatives is often unhelpful. So I  stopped recommending this form of journaling to clients years ago. If you suffer from anxiety, depression, trauma, addictions and/or eating problems, I would not recommend negative problem solving journaling as a practice. Our limbic brain sets us up for overdrive when dealing with negative emotions and experiences, so no need to add more cognition and attention to it all. Better to work on positives!

I have found positive journaling to be amazingly helpful for some people. The practice is quite easy. Simply find a journal you like to look at and hold. Yes, visual and kinesthetic pleasures are important as motivators. Place it near your bed, and every night a few minutes before you go to bed do some journaling – even a few minutes can be helpful.  Just write freely, without censoring in any way. It is a good idea to use all your sensory experiences here. What did you see, hear, feel, smell, taste, experience that you may wish to write about? Once you get into the process, try to go a bit deeper: exactly what was it about the positive experience that impacted you, and how deeply? Do your best not to seek ideal happiness experiences (there may not be nirvana); these realities are far and few for most people. So best to begin with simply paying more attention to positives during the day. You may begin to notice that some of the experiences and things you have been conditioned to take for granted are actually positive in nature. Pick only one experience to write about. Later go back often and re-read what you wrote.

For more information refer to J. Smiechowski’s ideas in Easy Health Options Home; MedicalXpress; Journal of Psychophysiology; and University of Rochester, Journaling for Mental Health.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Journal Writing, Self-Help Tagged With: JOURNALING, SELF CARE

December 24, 2019 By Admin

Journaling and Grief Process

Journaling and Grief Process

Regular brief journaling may be helpful in your grief and horror regarding significant personal losses of self and/or others. Here are the various ways it may be helpful to you.

  1. Writing and reading about your personal loss experience may help you to make sense of the process, and at the same time guide you gently on that path.
  2. Journaling may open up past and present realities – both positive and negative – about your loss experience.
  3. At times anger, resentments, and regrets will come up. These realities open you up to the depth of the grief experience. Do not linger too long there!
  4. S. Kierkegard reminded us that our lived experiences are processed forwardly, but better understood if observed backwards. Journaling helps to focus us on the present but never lets go fully of the past.
  5. It may be important to you to make your personal journal more balanced with both negative and positive experiences. For example, it may be helpful to list all simple pleasures you experienced in any given day. It may also be a good idea not to linger emotionally too long when such experiences trigger negative states.
  6. I have always found it helpful to list my personal gratitudes, even in the midst of painful loss and suffering. It is not uncommon for the most valued experiences to be linked with the lost love-object and your shared life.
  7. If fear and trepidation occur as you move through the grief process, I suggest that you break down the scary moments into smaller, more manageable periods of time, space, and emotions.
  8. Pay attention to and write about both helpful and unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and sensations related to your grief process. Be aware keenly of small improvements in all.
  9. You may notice that as you slowly heal you spend less time journaling. This is natural.
  10. You may wish to do “grave worship” practices, or simply write many good things about the lost person.
  11. V. Frankl noted that when we cannot change the reality of a situation, we may have to change ourself.
  12. When you find yourself crying over your loss, that is a very good time to contemplate and do journaling.
  13. Reading related poetry or writing your own may help you.
  14. If and when you experience the emptiness of the void inside, do your best to find words for the experience. And, work to fill that void by re-engaging with your life as it is now.
  15. It is always a good idea to develop and practice personal rituals about your healing. Write about this in your journal.
  16. S. Becket reminded us that we must go on! As painful as it may be, we cannot stop the process.
  17. As P. Chodron noted, we must allow it all to fall apart before we can find the resilience to face what comes next. In most situations, what comes next is slow improvement in your emotional condition.
  18. Rest in peace with your breath, and do more meditation or yoga if that suits you well.
  19. You may wish to visit optionb.org or other sites that support grief work.

Refer to Sandberg, S. and Grant, A. (2017). Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. New York: A. A. Knopf, pp. 58-76.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Calming, Coping, Crisis Resilience Skills, Emotions, Featured, Gratitude Meditation, Grief, Holiday Coping, Inner Peace, Journal Writing, Learning, Letting Go, Meditation, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Mourning, Natural Healing, Self Care, Spiriuality, Stress Reduction Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, GRATITUDES, GRIEF PROCESS, JOURNALING, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, RESILIENCE

October 18, 2019 By Admin

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare”

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare”

This post will discuss the topic and personal strategies.  Most content will relate to both physical realities and metaphorical meanings and categories. Since a person viewing their self as fighting a spiritual war most likely holds onto certain parts of self in this endeavor, it is highly unlikely that the actual adversaries are authentic entities outside/inside the self. It is more likely that personal experience has conditioned the person to understand these variable processes as quite serious and sometimes dangerous. To maintain a clear boundary, this post is not presenting a way to treat people suffering from any form of identity disorder; rather, this post offer some ideas about how one might go about becoming healthier via less targeted clinical interventions. The remaining part of the post will offer comments and suggestions for personal consideration of the reader. Most content deals with realistic natural phenomena in life. I hope I am making myself clear here. I hope you find the content helpful.

  1. Since pure white/golden healing light has been noted in almost all major spiritual traditions, you might wish to experiment with the experiences noted below.  Do your best to see the light as a potential healing ally. Allow yourself to feel the light. Do not block!
  2. Experiment with observing  the rising and setting sun. Allow the light to penetrate you; use kinesthetic awareness to do so.  Do your best to feel the light and experience its healing power. Enjoy this! Do not look directly into the intense light energy of the sun.
  3. Study basic astrophysics to learn how gravity (one of the main constants in the universe) has direct effects on dark/black energies.
  4. On a clear night, look deeply into the starlit sky and allow the star energies to enter you. Feel it; use it. Enjoy this!
  5.  On a clear day, look into the blue sky with moving clouds. Allow the light to penetrate you and feel its power. Enjoy this!
  6. Go for a silent walk in nature. Notice! Use all your senses to encounter all that is there. Gently gaze at a mountain, pond, lake, or stream. Notice the transparency off the clear water as it moves downstream. Send your troubles (like a leaf) downstream with the current. Make the best of your attention and intention here. Notice! Relax! Enjoy this!
  7. You may wish to try the Ten Directions experiment. Discern carefully what directions are helpful. What directions bring you into your deep inner self ally? Stand silently and notice the healing air/wind coming from the North, South, East, and West. Notice the effects! Now stand there and bring your attention to everything inside of you. And next – to everything outside of you. Look up and look down; notice. Now use your natural ability to project and send your troubles far, far, far away. Notice! Now move your body slowly and notice; now move your body with more vigorous energy, and notice. You have completed your Ten Directions experiment. Hope it was helpful. Thank our indigenous First Nation Peoples and Buddhist concepts for this process.
  8. Relax and begin to breathe deeply, slowly. Notice the ease and the difficulty. Continue to breathe. Allow the deeper, slower breath to calm you. Notice how the freshness of the committed breath restores your airflow in your throat, heart, soul, etc. Allow the clean flow of healing breath to cleanse you- in your throat, heart, soul.
  9. Now do your best to engage your helpful beliefs and helpful behaviors to support your internal healing. Engage in activities/behaviors that you find helpful.  Do not engage in thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are unhelpful. Be strong.
  10. Examine your personal space-time continuum, and pay close attention to when your time and space are safe for you. Spend much more time in this aspect of time and space. Do the same for being happier.
  11. Practice paying more attention to the silent, still space between your breaths, between your thoughts, between your heartbeats, and between your periods of suffering. Use the energy of your attention to enhance the space, silence, peace, and tranquility.
  12. Use your personal, natural wisdom to disempower any obstacles that hinder your progress to improved health and happiness.
  13. Use all of the above as metaphors of self-protection against all sources of suffering.
  14. Know that emotional dysregulation, anger, fear all feed your inner dragons. Best to starve them!
  15. Lastly, if you are a religious person, pray more.
  16. If you read spiritual books, you may want to try the Lectio Divina approach. In this Latin Christian Church method one reads a spiritual passage over and over and over again, each time going more deeply into the self and core religious beliefs. This form of meditation tends to enhance the power of the spiritual information being read as well as the power of the belief.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Breathing, Featured, Interoception, MIndfulness Activities, Mindfulness Training, Practices, Self Care, Self Compassion, Spiritual Warfare Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, INNER PEACE, OUTER PEACE, SPIRIT WARS, SPIRITUAL WARFARE

May 31, 2019 By Admin

More on Yoga Nidra

More on Yoga Nidra

Yoga nidra is sometimes called yoga sleep or yoga relaxation. It is a very powerful mindfulness technique that allows one to relax the body and limbic brain area, while holding mental control for deeper relaxation and projective practices without falling asleep. For some it may be like lucid dreaming, but a state that remains focused on the physical, energetic, and psychic body. In mindfulness terms, this is a state of deep relaxed awareness. Advanced practices use projective techniques outside the body. One asset of this practice is that it allows us to retain cognitive awareness as the body and brain waves shift into more subtle states. Once we are in the subtle energy field, the body-mind may be altered with relative ease. The ancient practice helps practitioners to improve physical conditions, injuries, energy homeostasis, and to awaken dormant energies.

Ideally this practice is done in a laying down position, so the body can conserve energy. Laying on your back is called savasana, the course pose – being very still like a corpse. The use of blankets and cushions may improve comfort. It may also be done in a comfortable sitting position. During practice it is important not to move the body in any way; this is a goal even if uncomfortable sensations arise. Our job is to observe the movement of inner energies without physical or mental reactions, thus allowing a more expansive meditation experience.

Stages of Yoga Nidra

In the first stage of practice, we engage in a progressive body scan to relax and harmonize the physical body. This allows gross or non-subtle energy to move out of the body so the physical body is completely relaxed. We may feel the tension leaving our mind and body. This alone may enable one to experience waves of deep relaxation and peace of mind. However, this first stage is simply preparation for other yoga nidra techniques. If practice time is extended, sometimes people experience a drop in body temperature.

In the second stage, the practitioner will be guided into other subtle energy experiences. These may include sensory awareness and manipulation, chakra awareness, visualizations, awakening energy techniques, and projective experiences. In the more advanced yoga nidra techniques, it is important that the teacher possesses ample experience in doing these practices. A good reason for this is that while being in deeper energetic systems of the body, a person’s stored tensions, memories, and perhaps karma may be released. Participant safety is a priority, so the teacher must observe closely to notice signs the practice is going beyond the practitioner’s capacity.

Yoga nidra is a powerful body-based technique that may improve access to subtle energy as well as cognitive and physical functioning. It can be a very powerful, healing meditation.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  & Brian Tobin 

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Meditation, MIndfulness, Mindfulness Training, Sleep, Yoga, Yoga Nidra Tagged With: ACT, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, BRIAN TOBIN, MINDFULNESS, SLEEP, YOGA NIDRA

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Practice Approaches to for Mindful and  Enhanced Emotion Regulation Brought to us by way of  The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont Mindful Approaches for Enhanced Emotion Regulation; here are some approaches to practice. 1)In some ways you could understand the progression from auto-pilot mind to greater stability and equanimity of […]

Showing Deep Love & Respect Loved Ones Lost This is a very brief post about love and respect for “lost loved ones” – those special people who have left their human body and mind behind. Two Rituals 1) Loving Kindness Meditation for Lost Loved Ones After breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes in silence, […]

A Primary Source of Unhappiness Self-medication to reduce or avoid pain and suffering is a major unhelpful habit in the United States. It is a desperate human effort to reduce pain and suffering in physical and psychological experiences. Therefore, we humans may be hard-wired for it. When we suffer and do not utilize effective wise […]

Wind Ridge Press NEW Publication! Author Anthony Quintiliani, a licensed psychologist with more than 35 years professional clinical experience, casts a wide net into the personal, clinical, and societal causes of prolonged human suffering and unhappiness in his book Mindful Happiness. The book’s guided interventions are aimed at helping to relieve depression, anxiety, traumatic reactivity, and […]

Using Lectio Divina to Enhance Your Happiness Lectio Divina is an ancient Christian (Benedictine) meditation; it is a form of meditative prayer called “sacred  seeing.”   We  will use a modified version of the process here.   Follow the steps noted below. Sit  quietly  in meditative form, calmly abiding yourself here now.   After a […]

Safety:  Mindful Candle Gazing Meditation Practices Candle light and candle gazing are common in many spiritual and religious practices.  After many fire-related losses, religious organizations have found ways to maintain the practice and reduce liability related to accidental fires.  The National Candle Association is also quite aware that their products include some risk.  Therefore, the […]

Mindfulness-Based Emotion Regulation The following emotional regulation practices (also called emotional balance skills) have been supported by over 2500 years of mindfulness training and current psychological research on human emotions.  These practices/skills are to be practiced before they are needed, and directly applied when they are needed.  Here is the list. 1) Practice noticing and […]

Human Beings Have Trouble BEING Human – Some Sound Advice from Dr Anthony Quintiliani The world today appears to be even more destructive than ever before in human history.  However, historians and violence researchers inform us that we as average persons are safer today than we were in the past.  Finger-tip access to world-wide media […]

What Consciousness Really Is Considering that we have been to the moon and back, and more recently surveyed important moons of Saturn, science is still a very long way from understanding how the human brain works – and even further away from having a clear, agreed-upon interpretation of human consciousness.  Consciousness is the “stuff” of […]

Loss, Grief and Suffering in America By Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC Other than our nation’s suffering during The Civil War, The Great Depression, and World War II this past year has been one of the most stress-filled, fear-filled times in our history. Here is a list of the reasons behind it all: the COVID-19 […]

Taoist Meditation on Healing Colors of Light In Taoist views the four seasons (five if you include “Indian Summer”) are strongly associated with emotional moods and bodily energies. Healing colored light is also part of this viewpoint. For each of the colors we use, follow the process noted below. Sit quietly and breathe calmly. Circle […]

  How Most People Learn in Psychotherapy It is highly important that clients learn from their therapists.  In most cases this includes alternative ways of thinking, emoting, and behaving. So what can we learn from educational research on how people learn? Of course we all know it begins with a solid therapeutic alliance – the […]

More Characteristics of Happiness – Happiness #4 Here I will continue my posts about the common characteristics of happiness.  Here is the list. Keep an Open Mind – Maintaining an open mind opens up doorways to interesting things in the world, some of which may help you to become happier. Also, open-mindedness reduces inner tension […]

Beyond MBSR – Quick Start Skills Self-calming for counselors and other helpers is one of the most important survival practices to master.  Self-calming consists a set of basic mindfulness skills, all of which must be practiced regularly to achieve desired emotion-regulation effects. The utility of these skills is well established in clinical research, and not […]

Journaling and Grief Process Regular brief journaling may be helpful in your grief and horror regarding significant personal losses of self and/or others. Here are the various ways it may be helpful to you. Writing and reading about your personal loss experience may help you to make sense of the process, and at the same […]

The Deep Courage to Let Go Pema Chodron, now recognized as a world leader in the Chogyam Trungpa Shambhala tradition, has presented a wonderfully clear method for letting go of personal blockages and impediments to enlightenment,  the bodhisattva way of life, and awakened bodhichitta (clear mind, soft heart). She teaches us how in “The Joy […]

Vipassana Meditation -No-Self   Journey 3 In this third vipassana meditation I will guide you on a meditation dealing with the experience of no-self.  No-self is a highly advanced experience in Buddhist meditation and wisdom practices, and it is, perhaps, one of the most misunderstood concept and experience. Along with impermanence, dependent origination, typical reality […]

 Poem on Nature    – Haiku-Like As I sat peacefully by the westward window of my sunroom at my retreat center, I noticed!  I noticed the restless, natural movement of a tormented sky trying to calm itself.   Here is my poem. “The Sky, the Lake and the Mountains” Sitting at our home, alone – […]

Equanimity, Suffering, and Resilience It is said that equanimity (Pali – upekkha), the seventh factor of enlightenment and the tenth perfection, is an end-product of life-long personal practice in meditation and/or meditative yoga. It is about “walking the walk.” Some practitioners note that equanimity is the foundation for other helpful states of mind and body. […]

Mindfulness Practices to help Reduce Your Worry & Suffering My last post dealt with various mindfulness-based practices and skills that may help to reduce created suffering due to excessive worrying.  I will add a few more practices in this post.  First, let us go back to Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, and his Meditations. In Book 2, page 14 […]

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