Mindful Happiness Returns –
We return after a long absense. There is still an integral part of the site that will be missing, founder Dr Anthony Quintiliani passed after a fierce battle with cancer. I choose to let his spirit live on through the blog we started together. – It did take a while for me to get strong enough to get going again. I relect on him daily with admiration, respect, and thankfulness. I do wonder how he may be viewing this first post since his passing.
“What Uncle Anthony Might Say About Me Using ChatGPT”
—In memory, on the third year of his passing
It’s been three years since Uncle Anthony passed, and still his voice shows up—usually when I least expect it. I’ll be halfway through typing a sentence, locked in my own thoughts, and suddenly hear him –
“Respect your elders.”
He would always say with a sideways grin. Always with more heart than command.
He lived on 30 wooded acres in Monkton, Vermont—a place that felt more like a sanctuary than a homestead. This is the kind of place where time settled down and silence stretched its legs. A place where cell signals faded, but people found connection in other ways. He built a presence there into a refuge—not just for himself, but for others. He ran meditative retreats there. Helped establish addiction counseling centers in nearby towns. People didn’t just visit Anthony—they came to themselves in his presence.
And now here I am, sitting in front of a glowing screen, using a language model to help me write about the very man who barely tolerated email. He used to print his messages so he could read them like real letters. He called computers “necessary distractions” and labeled himself a “technology troglodyte,” though even that seemed too modern for him.
So I can almost see him now—sitting on his porch, sipping strong coffee from Ellie’s favorite mug—watching me talk to a machine with a skeptical eye.
“A conversation? With a computer?”
A pause. That familiar breath in. Hmmph
“Well… if it gets you writing.”
Because here’s the truth: for all his quiet resistance to the digital world, Anthony believed in tools that brought people back to themselves. Meditation, breath, walks in the woods, forgiveness, deep listening—anything that pointed toward presence and peace. If he could’ve seen this as another path to awareness—a different trail winding through the woods of the mind—he might’ve nodded, maybe even been z little more curious than he revealed.
I think he’d chuckle at my stubbornness, my hunger to understand, my efforts to write something meaningful about him using technology he would’ve never touched. But I also think he’d see that I’m trying. Trying to carry his gentleness into a very noisy world. Trying to slow down long enough to remember him well. Trying, above all, to honor the man who was like a second father to me—especially in the years when I needed guidance, not noise.
So yep, I’m here—typing, thinking, asking questions of a machine that answers back. But in my heart, I’m still walking that foot-worn path behind his home, where the raw woodlands filled with unfettered trees whispered lessons in stillness and pace of life.
And maybe, just maybe, he’d say what he always said when he knew he was right, but wanted me to come to it myself:
“Respect your elders.”
And I’d smile. Because I do. I always have.
Miss you every day Uncle and yes I’m still questioning myself at every turn…
Mindful Happiness will continue and grow!
associations of various emotional and physical states. Via on-going and regular practice of mindfulness and contemplation we may access the four areas of human awareness: body, feelings, heart-mind, and dharma. The rising and falling away of all phenomena, especially human feelings, requires keen attention to internal emotional experiences. Being fully aware of how little control we may have over life experiences, or our own death, opens up the path to mindfulness of feelings as a form of liberation from typical samsaric Ups and Downs. As Sophia Newman reminds us , mindfulness awareness can flow between two poles: intense concentration and the more gentle absorption of whatever is happening right now. Now if the basis of pure experience. Be with the now of your deeper, slower breath.
helpful to journal about your inner experiences. B. D. Lamson reminds us when facing adversity it is best to use the breath as your ally. C. Feldman adds it is better to receive the breath as it presents; only later taking more control of how you utilize your breath and respond to it. Even when receiving and allowing the breath to be what it is, simply be with your self-consciousness and uncertainty. No special focus on breath can produce soothing, but more and more practice of allowing then controlling may open up doors to empowerment. Empowerment may lead to more soothing life experience.
developing skills. Since breath is clearly linked to the central nervous system and its actions/reactions, breath is highly sensitive to past and present events. Whereas psychodynamic insight and cognitive-behaviors skills may be valuable in recovery, ignoring work with the breath may lead to failed efforts. Slowly integrating pleasant and unpleasant bodily experiences – mainly in memory, sensation and breath – has the potential to open up pathways to deep healing. Careful use of Eastern dharma realities in Western psychotherapy may enhance comfort, empowerment, and outcomes of therapy. Note, however, that expertise in both Eastern and Western approaches is required.
severe stressors, we also suffer from the virus, separation/divorce, developmental stress, incarceration, and the loss of the way of life in pre-COVID-19. Americans are suffering from various bio-psycho-social-spiritual dimensions of stress, loss and grief. Perhaps the correct words to use are “complicated grief.” Our current experiences with loss and grief go far beyond the stage-based versions of 
powerful clinical alliance are important for therapeutic success. Below, I list (only) various treatments, most supported by empirical research and practice. I will leave it you the reader to look more deeply into treatments or interventions they may prefer. Here is the list: Trauma-Informed Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based therapies/practices (breath work, meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi-gong and MBSR or ACT), Continued Bonds Theory – the changed internal relationship with the lost person, and Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy – utilizing attachment styles of secure, insecure, anxious or avoidant.
it – great, highest, illuminating, and the end of suffering – offer great hope to Buddhist practitioners. Gate, itself, implies ending suffering, liberation, mindfulness, ending duality, reaching the other shore (enlightenment, nirvana, etc.). Paragate implies going all the way to the other shore – becoming enlightened. Parasamgate sum implies the the world-wide sangha or the entire human community. Bodhi is the light inside, and Svaha means joy. Keep in mind there may be slightly different translations of these words in Buddhist texts.
touching tops of thumbs.
Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, 
skilled enough to decide what you will be thinking, you are on the journey to a better life, especially emotionally. Focus on what you do have, including your “precious human life” (The Dalai Lama). We must never forget about our “exquisite human nature” (Thich Nhat Hanh). Non-attainment is part of the process; grasping, desire, and the never-ending treadmill of “I will be happy when I have ….” are in your way. Then you realize very quickly that you have it and you are still desiring and grasping for the next, and the next thing you want. We do cause some of our own suffering by the way we think and then act. Focus NOT on suffering; focus more on being present and happiness.