MINDFULNESS Archives - Mindful Happiness

October 13, 2019 By Admin

“i Rest” Yoga Nidra Practice (Richard Miller, Ph.D.)

All regular meditation and yoga practices are capable of bringing us closer to our true self and our relationships in the world. A by-product is deep relaxation and equanimity. Richard Miller, Ph.D. (Clinical Psychologist, yogic scholar, spiritual teacher), has created a yoga nidra practice that promises to return us to our authentic self and provide deep, relaxation and inner peace in the process. The iRest method is based on long-term practice and research. Yoga nidra is a pathway to improved health, awareness, and inner healing. It has been effective in problems related to stress, anxiety, sleep, trauma, and physical pain. I suggest it may be equally effective in all psychological pain. In neuroscience theory yoga nidra may reset your central nervous system, improve coping capacity, and open doorways to spiritual development. In the following yoga nidra meditation I have integrated my own yoga nidra practices with the iRest method presented by Dr. Miller. Let’s begin!

Place your body in a comfortable positions sitting, lying down, or standing. Enjoy silence in the pause. Close your eyes if ok.
Allow your body to settle down and simply notice your full awareness. Notice silence in the pause.
Open up your senses without evaluation, and notice delicately your body contact with parts of the world beyond the body boundary. Pause.
Be open to noting the contact experience, and prepare to go inward inside your body. Notice as we pause in silence.
Gently notice without evaluation the sensations you feel as we move up and down the body. Quickly at first. Up and then down!
Starting with your toes, simply notice sensations; then move up slowly all the way to your hips, noticing sensations as you move your intentional kinesthetic awareness. Be with the silence in the pause.
Continue your inner, private body scan moving from the hips all the way up your chest and to the top of your head. Silence!
Just notice sensations and continue to be aware without judging.
Now move slowly from the head back down your back to the hips. Notice the quality of the silence in the pause.
Again, with intentional attention without thinking move down from the hips all the way back to the toes. Remain silent inside.
Now ever so gently notice your intentional in and out breaths. Breathe deeper, slower. Notice.
Notice and allow the sensations of breath passing into your nostrils, down the throat, into the chest and lungs. Notice the rise of the belly on the in-breath. Do all this without thinking – only noticing the sensations your feel. Enjoy this silent pause. Let go.
Now notice the out-breath and follow the same sensation track as your exhale. Notice! Remain silent inside and outside.
At this point in our process, bring attention gently to an area of the body where you feel discomfort, pain, or suffering.
Simply allow and welcome this sensation as if it were simply sensations – like those you just experienced. Pause in silence.
Blend the earlier pleasant sensations with this uncomfortable sensations. Notice! Settle deeply into the silent pause.
In your effort to accept all sensations, notice the discomfort and note if it is stronger at its center or at the periphery. Where?
Focus more attention where there is less discomfort. Go deep into the silence here.
Does your unpleasant sensation have a color? Focus on the color. Now focus on an opposite color or your favorite color. Notice.
Let go of reactions to the discomfort on each and every exhalation, and especially in the gaps/spaces between breaths and awarenesses. Be with the silence now.
Continue to let go in the longer silence here.
Does the sensation have a character texture? Is it dense or loose? Heavy or light? Sharp or dull? Go to where there is less discomfort. Be in your inner most silence now.
Radically accept all your bodily sensations – the pleasant along with the unpleasant. It is only sensation; it is your reaction to it that causes you problems. We wish to flee discomfort and hold onto pleasure. Just be with what is! Just be in silence now.
Allow your body to remain aware, accept, integrate all the forms of sensation you are experiencing.
Examine your control by bringing focus to the pleasant sensations, now to the unpleasant sensations. Accept them all as simply sensations without evaluating. This may be challenging. Find some peace in the silence.
Now allow your senses to open up and notice what you feel, hear, see, taste, smell. etc.
Use the power of your inner spirit to help you improve this moment of perfect being. Empower spirit! Sit in silence now.
When you feel ready slowly bring yourself to a full alert state. If your eyes have been closed, gently open them.
Now just rest!!!!! Enjoy the silence. I will cue you when we are ready to end yoga nidra.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

September 29, 2019 By Admin

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue

First let’s begin with what some people do to counteract the stressors of living in a hurried,“over-technologized” world. Technically, “technologize” is not a popularly accepted word, but it is a sad reality. We live in a time when texting while driving may become the new addiction-based cause for many, many deaths. This addiction is so strong people do it in situations that could case their injury or death, or the injury or death of others. Sound familiar! It should. Cellphone “abuse” is not so different from the plans of cigarette producers to “hook” us on something we will pay for during many years. So here is a partial list of what people tend to do when faced with severe stressors.

What people tend to do that does NOT improve their stress reactivity long-term:

“Smoke and Coke” – a phrase referring to smoking nicotine and drinking sugary soft-drinks when you cannot cope well and feel dragged down with your stressful life and want to feel stimulated.
Of course there is always excessive alcohol and/or drug use as self-medication.
Sleeping – too little or too much, including late onset and too early awakening.
Eating – too little or too much, and may include binging and purging.
Hoarding for whatever security it brings.
Obsessive compulsive behaviors – as behaviors for security actions to make us feel better.
Being aggressive when it is not necessary to defend yourself.
Insulating yourself from contact with others.
Living under a “victimhood” self-identification. This can change everything!
Participating in self-harming behaviors to activate neurologic, chemical and hormonal changes in your brain and body.
Engagement in unsafe sexual activities to feel “excitement” and/or “loved.”
Spending too much time online or on my “I-Smart” phone. The phone becomes your life!
Doing too much exercise, especially when injuries occur.
Being a person of uncontrollable empathy – a clear boundary issue that wares you out.
Making your job too much of your life – workaholism or compensation for poor self-esteem?
Making do with professional, work stagnation.
Remaining stuck in impaired practices – the most common one being emotional dysregulation.

What people can do that does improve stress reactivity and may even increase joy in life:

Taking brief breaks from the “grind” of work.
Recognizing and contemplating personal gratitude for what you DO have.
Noticing and correcting unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors and communications.
Learning to hold a positive, optimistic mindset and attitude.
Liberating yourself from “stuckness” in anxiety, depression, addictions, and trauma. This most often requires professional help and/or self-help.
Cutting way back on your online time. Researchers suggest anything beyond 3-4 hours/day is a habitual pattern. What do our jobs, schools and parents contribute to the habitual tendencies of habit-forming digital/electronic devices?
Ignoring FOMO!
Spending time reading, writing, journaling about helpful things.
Spending time listening and/or playing music.
Spending time dancing and/or doing regular exercise.
Spending time doing regular practice of meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, mindful walking.
Petting your dog or cat – or horse. Looking into their eyes when they allow it.
Spending time walking in nature.
Learning to give/get social-emotional support.
Learning to leave work at work – learn to build emotional boundaries.
Practice limit-setting regarding your boundaries and what you do to help others.
Making a firm commitment to improve your wellness.
Taking part in constructive self-reflection.
Paying more attention to positives ( natural for the brain to do the opposite).
Helpful nutrition, sleep and exercise practices.
Learn to play more; learn to be active in creative expression.
Participating in regular spiritual practices.
Spending more quality time with loved ones and good friends when helpful.
Leaving some time to just be in quiet, silent solitude.
Seeking professional help as soon as you “feel” you MAY need it, or when others who care about you “think” you need it.

You will notice that the helpful list is longer than the unhelpful list. However, the unhelpful behaviors are often more automatic, and the helpful behaviors REQUIRE considerable effort to carry out. Your wellness must be a priority for you.

For more information refer to Bray, B. (2019). Counselors as human beings not superheroes. Counseling Today (October, 2019), 18-25

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

July 16, 2019 By Admin

Helper Self-Care is Important

In the most current issue of The National Psychologist (July-August, 2019) an article linked helper effectiveness, risk management, and clinical outcomes to helper self-care. To make a long story shorter, I will simply paraphrase and re-word the suggestions. These recommendations support YOUR emotional survival and successful risk management as a helper as well as your clients’ progress.

Here are the specific self-care ideas. Since it is my post, I will add some of my own ideas.

Strategies for Helper/Therapist Self-Care

Focus on your own self-value and growth (personal and professional):

Involve yourself in your own personal counseling/therapy if needed.
Practice awareness and monitoring skills (mindfulness) regarding your needs.
The regular practice of mindfulness and self-compassion skills is recommended.
Spend some time learning and doing what improves resilience – block out time in your schedule.
Do your best to maintain healthy personal boundaries at work and in life.
Recognize and act upon limitations and manage your time well.
Cultivate and practice activities that enhance belonging and spirituality.
Monitor the quality of your inner speech and thoughts – improve them as needed.
Do the same for your inner emotional experiences.
Practice interoception by intentionally noting your inner body feelings – improve them.

Focus more closely on what you find rewarding, reinforcing AND take care of yourself:

Experience the rewards of your work, and have gratitude for them
Understand the stressors, risks, and burnout issues in your job role without exaggeration.
Get help – obtain supervision, consultation, confer with peers.
Do your best not to complain often, since this will make stress reactivity worse.
Figure out ways to get what you need – rest, nutrition, fun, hydration, exercise, connection.
Smile more! Yes, have the intention and behavioral response to improve facial emotions.
Practice a regular exercise regimen.

Nurture your relational world and its objects:

Be active in peer support groups, supervision and training activities.
Network with others via continuing education workshops and meaningful conversations.
Schedule regular meetings with mentors, peers, supervisors.
Make the best of positive emotions in all significant relationships.
If you have pets, spend some quality time with your pets. Play!
Make sure you have a positive social life outside of work.
Discover and re-visit what you find helpfully humorous in life.

Pursue creativity and personal growth in your inner and outer environments:

Do what you can to make your office or work areas rewarding and reinforcing to you.
Consider all of your senses in the above endeavor.
If you can limit the number of high risk-high demand clients you work with.
Obtain administrative supports that may reduce your stress level and intensity.
Take regular self-care breaks at work, alone and in small groups.
Do not isolate! When we feel wounded and worn out, we tend to isolate ourselves.
If possible limit your exposure to traumatic experiences and material.
Practice periods of silence and solitude in nature (“forest bathing” practices).
Schedule and take time off and go on vacations – even if just staying at home.
Continue to pursue your values-driven behaviors.
Continue to learn new things that may improve your work role and outcomes.
If spiritual do more practice.
When engaged in pleasurable activities, use all your senses to experience them.

For more information refer to Bryant, L. M. (July/August, 2019). Self-care is essential to risk management. The National Psychologist.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

July 12, 2019 By Admin

Expanded Lectio Divina for Self-Development

In this post I will provide an expanded version of this process by combining information from Origen, the Carthusian Monk Guigo II, and Augustine of Hippo. The presented process of 12 steps may be used to enhance internalization of sacred writing and/or to support internal healing of the participants. You have three choices here: read sacred scripture based on your personal spiritual and religious practices; make up your own deep healing mantra and write it down; and/or combine both practices noted above. The wording of this post will be based on the second possibility above. Note that if this is done in a group format, people take turns reading scripture/self-healing mantras aloud and sharing from time to time their emotional responses with each other. Personal deep respect and values-driven cognition, emotion, and behavior apply here. The process may work best if you practice it with cognition, affect, behavior, sensations, intuition, and with all your senses.

Opening Invitation or Prayer: Invite your higher self, the power of nature, or your personal deity (God, Jesus, Buddha, Shiva, etc.) into your soft, warm heart-soul. Allow the feelings you notice.
Lectio: This is the first reading of the sacred words or your self-healing mantra. Pay close attention.
Brief Silence: Do your best to remain in deep silence in mind, brain, body, tongue, heart, and soul.
Meditatio: Complete a second reading of the passage, this time a bit slower with more attention. You may repeat the reading if it is helpful to deepen your personal meanings and emotions. Ruminate on it as you connect meaning/insight with your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, memories.
Brief Silence:
Key Word, Phrase, Sentence: Select the most meaningful word, phrase, or sentence. Repeat this several, times as if you were trying to memorize it. Allow the words and meaning/emotions to enter the depths of your heart, soul, body. Be one with it! Discern closely how you feel inside your body.
Oratio: Read the passage (word, phrase, sentence) again. If in a group this is the third read aloud experience. If doing this process alone, you have already repeated the reading several times by now. Attune and pay even deeper, stronger attention. God/your deity, love or personal higher self love are at work. Consecrate this process and the words deeper and deeper into yourself. Allow your true self to experience this feeling of soft love, and especially allow yourself to re-visit the deep suffering you have experienced. By integrating soft love with your suffering, you may notice the beginning of your personal healing at the most deep levels of personal, emotional experience. ALLOW IT ALL TO BE!
Brief Silence:
Collatio: On voluntary basis you may decide to share some of what you have experienced thus far in your inner healing and/or deep connection with the divine. Such sharing must be brief but meaningful for it to have a profound effect on yourself and on others who may be with you at this time. Brevity is also important so that deep emotional experience is not limited by consciousness.
Contemplatio: Now go into even more depth and strengths as you delve deeper into the words and/or your personal connection to inner healing or inter-connection with the divine. Very deep contemplation is required so you can move from spiritual DOING to simply BEING in your current state of self-healing connection and/or a connection on a different dimension and power with your selected deity. Go as deeply as possible into the feelings of your current existence in integration.
Closing Chant and/or prayer: This could be in silence or if in a group as a whole-group activity.
Action: Some forms of Lectio Divina promote your personal actions in the real world you live in to live in the same way you experienced this sacred process. By kind, compassion, generous, non-violent, caring, supportive, and live a life based on your improved higher self or your selected deity.

For more information refer to Guigo II (Re-published, 1978). Ladder of Monks and Twelve Meditations. Coletti, J. (July, 2011). “Guigo II and the Development of Lectio Divina.” Also refer to various writing of Augustine of Hippo and The Augustinian Way of Life. See also Dei Verbum of the Second Vatican Council and Pope Benedict XVI in his support for lectio divina at the Papacy of the 21st century.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

June 19, 2019 By Admin

Chronic Pain and Doing Body Scanning

Although doing body scans cannot fully relieve your pain, it may help you manage it better. If your pain is serious and chronic you need to work with a qualified pain management professional, who will use both psychological and medical interventions. Note that a recent issue of Consumer Reports reviewed research and suggested that addictive pain medications and surgery should be the last options for most people. I have modified and integrated body scan instructions presented by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Thich Nhat Hanh. I have also added my own body scan style and process. Kabat-Zinn noted that body scan meditations may be the most effective mindfulness meditation practice for management of physical pain. I would add that it may also help with psychological or emotional pain as well. For best results practice the body scan for 45 minutes every day. Strong practice brings better outcomes. Here are the instructions.

While lying flat on your back on a soft surface, place your body in a comfortable outstretched position. Now just rest and breath gently.
Close your eyes and get a “feel” for how your body is being experienced at this time.
With your eyes still closed take a few long, deep, slow breaths and notice how the lower belly (hara) rises and falls on the in-breath and the out-breath. Notice the feel of interoception in your body.
If your mind loses focus, gently bring attention back to the body.
If you experience pain while doing this scan, go slow and easy as you accept it and breathe through it. If you experience too much pain, stop the body scan and seek professional advice.
Bring complete attention to your feet, and as you focus and breathe allow your body to feel as if it is sinking a bit into the surface below you. Allow the surface to support your body and your mind.
Pay strong attention to your right foot, and slowly move attention from the foot to the ankle, lower leg, knee, thigh, hip and into lower belly. Allow time at pass (4-5 minutes at each location) before moving to the next body area in this sequence.
Now move attention from the lower belly up to the chest and the to front of the neck. Rest a while as you pay close attention to the emotional energies in the front of the neck. Notice.
With deliberate action move your attention to the chin, lower lip, upper lip, nose, ridge of the nose, eye brows, third eye area, over forehead and all the way up to the top, center of the head. Again, spend 4-5 minutes at each area. Once at the top of the head, rest there for a few moments. Notice.
From the top of the head, allow attention to drift to the lower back neck, and down the backbone slowly – bone by bone. Stop at the base of the back. Be sure you are still breathing deeply, slowly.
Move your attention to your left hip, and slowly move attention down the lower body – from the left hip to the thigh, knee, lower leg, ankle and down to the left foot and toes. Rest there for a while. Breathe fully. Relax. Notice.
Now return your attention to the top, center of your head. Notice the “feel” there again.
Allow the movement of attention and interoceptive perception to slowly slide over the sides of your head and face – next to your eyes, the ears, down your cheeks, stopping at the sides of your neck. Rest there for a moment. Notice. Be sure to allow 4-5 minutes at each area before moving on to the next area. Energize your attention and prepare to use it in new ways.
Notice how it feels when you move attention out to the shoulder tips, then slowly down the upper arms, to your elbows and lower arms. Stop and notice how you feel when you reach your wrists.
Use your imagination to bring full attention to both hands and follow the sensations of awareness all the way out to your finger tips. Rest for a moment. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly.
Once you feel the attentional energies in your fingers, place both hands over your heart area and rest. Remain in this position for at least five minutes, breathing deeply and slowly with both hands resting on your heart area. If attention wanders, gently bring it back to your heart area.
In this position very gently and slowly rock your body side to side. Notice what you notice!
To extend the time of your body scan, you may begin again in reverse direction. This time starting at the top, center of your head and slowly moving attention and sensation down your body all the way to your feet and toes.
For your ending, simply breath slowly and deeply and rest fully. Rest in Yoga Nidra if you know how to do so. Simply be with your body and breath.
Before rising, move your body slowly side to side and sit first. Be sure your legs hold you as you rise from the floor ever so slowly.

For more information refer to Harvard Medical School (2019). Pain Relief Without Drugs or Surgery: Natural and Integrative Ways to Reduce Your Suffering and Take Control of Your Life. Cambridge, MA: Harvard Medical School Special Health Report. See also various instructions on body scans by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Thich Nhat Hanh. You may appreciate his instructions on mouth yoga as part of this practice.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness