Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

January 22, 2021 By Admin

Loss, Grief and Suffering in America

Loss, Grief and Suffering in America

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Other than our nation’s suffering during The Civil War, The Great Depression, and World War II this past year has been one of the most stress-filled, fear-filled times in our history. Here is a list of the reasons behind it all: the COVID-19 pandemic, racial injustice, legal reactivity, massive unemployment, loss of housing, quarantines, closed schools and colleges, powerful political demonstrations, and a “president” who betrayed his trust and incited riotous violence against the Capital of the United States. Also a “president” who has been impeached not once but twice by The U.S. House of Representatives. What a year!

Types of Loss, Grief and Suffering

Along with the above, we have witnessed increased anxiety, depression, fear, anger and traumatic stress. Although death (loss of a loved one) is by far one of the most severe stressors, we also suffer from the virus, separation/divorce, developmental stress, incarceration, and the loss of the way of life in pre-COVID-19. Americans are suffering from various bio-psycho-social-spiritual dimensions of stress, loss and grief. Perhaps the correct words to use are “complicated grief.” Our current experiences with loss and grief go far beyond the stage-based versions of E. Kubler Ross; our current complex grief does not follow neat linear progressions, and includes more serious symptoms. For those who also experienced childhood trauma of various forms or developmental regressions the current experience is more exasperating and dangerous. When loss is catastrophic reactions may include nightmares, shame, guilt, regret, hopelessness and suicide. Cultural differences also play roles in loss and grief as well as its treatment. Therapists must also be aware of the influence of race, gender, sexual orientation, and age.

Treatments for Loss and Complex Grief

Treatments for loss and complex grief are many, but with varying levels of success. Matching treatments to client characteristics, and developing a powerful clinical alliance are important for therapeutic success. Below, I list (only) various treatments, most supported by empirical research and practice. I will leave it you the reader to look more deeply into treatments or interventions they may prefer. Here is the list: Trauma-Informed Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based therapies/practices (breath work, meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi-gong and MBSR or ACT), Continued Bonds Theory – the changed internal relationship with the lost person, and Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy – utilizing attachment styles of secure, insecure, anxious or avoidant.

Many therapeutic interventions may be helpful: social-emotional support, recovery journaling, music, exercise, imagery, play therapy, and sand tray work. Generally especially strong empathy is required. Self-care of the therapist is a must. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs may be helpful.  Other active interventions include empty-chair work (sitting in the “worry chair” or the lost person chair), self-talk or out-loud talk using stimulus words like relax, breathe, not me, etc. Social networking with new people in groups is often helpful. Improving client self-care and participating in activities associated with joy or satisfaction moves the mind to other things.

In the end, if so many various interventions fail to meet needs, people should consider joining a formal, therapeutic bereavement group. Loss is emotionally tough, and recovery requires complete emotional activation.

For more information refer to: comments of A. Bodner, Ph.D. in The New England Psychologist, p. 2 (Winter, 2021). Hanlon, P. (2021). The Many Faces of Complicated Grief. The New England Psychologist, pp. 1 & 4 (Winter, 2021). Cormier, S. The Transformative Power of Loss. Psychotherapy Networker,  pp. 17-18 (January-February, 2021). Cacciatore, J. (2020). Grieving is Loving: Compassionate Words for Bearing the Unbearable. Boston, Wisdom Publications, pp. 1-8.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Coping, Covid-19, E.Kubler-Ross, Featured, Grief, Happiness, Healing, Human Needs, Inner Peace, Joy and Suffering, Personal Suffering, Practices, Relational Suffering, Self Care, Suffering, Tools, Treatment Tagged With: AMERICA, COPING, COVID19, E. KUBLER-ROSS, EMOTIONAL, GRIEF, HOPE, JOURNALING, JOY, LOSS, LOVING, MINDFUL, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICES, SELF, SOCIAL, SUFFERING, THERAPISTS, TREATEMENTS, TREATMENT

August 16, 2018 By Admin

Quintiliani’s Whole Person Recovery Planning

Quintiliani’s Whole Person Recovery Planning

To me the “whole person recovery planning” includes biological, psychological, social, spiritual, and self components and changes. To simplify – it is not simple or quick – I will simply list the core components of this comprehensive form of recovery process.  I may add more details to this process in future posts.

  1. Biological planning and skills includes the areas of prescribed medication as needed; recovery oriented nutrition; regular vigorous exercise if able to do so; MAT with therapy as needed; appropriate sleep patterns and habits; and, a heavy dose of regular physical self-care.
  2. Psychological planning and skills includes hope; social-emotional supports; psychological bonding with others on this same journey; self-compassion skills; the mindfulness RAIN process; psychological self-care (quieting your mind’s negative self-talk and negative introjections from others, etc.); regular practice of learned CBT and mindfulness skills; CBT and other effective therapies for depression, anxiety, addiction, etc.; regular practice of meditation and yoga, effective therapies for recovery from trauma (CBT, EMDR, MBSR, DBT, ACT, etc.); practice of radical; self-acceptance; and, the ability to develop a strong therapeutic helping relationship/alliance in therapy (psychodynamics that work). In my mind with over 35 years of clinical experience, I do see the psychological components as the most powerful – along with the spiritual areas.
  3. Social planning and skills include social skills training as needed; regular social-emotional supports; regular participation in a fellowship of recovery-oriented processes (AA, 12 Steps, etc.); the slow and safe self-extraction from various toxic relationships; practicing skills of relational mindfulness; and, compassionate actions toward others.
  4. Spiritual planning and practices include hope; belief in something greater than yourself; regular religious and/or spiritual practices; “I Am” meditations; “forest bathing” meditations; spending more personal time in nature and being aware of its wonder; belief in the power of your soul-self or true-self; practicing Step 11 often; and, practicing liking and/or loving yourself in a non-narcissistic manner.
  5. Self planning and skills include recovering from ACEs (adverse childhood experiences, especially early life trauma); self-esteem building activities; pursuit of YOUR strong aspirations; practical strength-building activities; self-respect and self-acceptance; self-compassion; and, practicing the ancient Christian meditation process called lectio divina (deeper and deeper meditation on a sacred writing, or a self-esteem and strength-building brief writing about your values and strengths).

So, here you have it – all of it. In my years of clinical and lived-life experience I clearly believe that people who engage vigorously in their own self-recovery process do the best as far as long-term recovery is concerned. I also believe that WE ALL are in some form of recovery process (depression, anxiety, addictions, trauma, eating problems, grief and loss, chronic physical illness or injury, etc.). This may not be the BIG-R Recovery process, but it is recovery process as a deep-seated, self-oriented process of hope, health, and happiness. Hope this information is helpful tip you.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Recovery, Whole Person Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, SELF, SOCIAL, SPIRITUAL, WHOLE PERSON RECOVERY PLANNING

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Spiritual Mantras from Buddhism Spiritual Mantras:  Mantra practice is certainly not informal Buddhism, nor is it a way to apply practical mindfulness skills to life.  The path of mantra practice is much deeper than the psychological applications for good health. Mantra practice is a highly important part of formal Buddhist practice, especially on the spiritual […]

Trauma Therapy:  Basics from Some Expert Clinicians For many years trauma therapist have used many approaches in their psychotherapy. Most of these approaches lack strong empirical support for outcomes, and are often the “favorites” of these therapists.  One might wonder what benefits therapists derive from using approaches that are not evidence-based. If an intervention fails […]

Breathing Practices and Emptiness Here I will introduce you to five breathing practices, each one moving progressively closer and closer to emptiness/no-self experiences. Do your best to remain open in these practices. Notice the feel of your posture. Once comfortable notice your breath as it is. Relax and close your eyes if ok. Rest your […]

Tonglen Meditation or Giving and Taking I have added various posts about many compassion practice.  Earlier posts have covered a range of practices – from super-easy to more demanding. Here, I will add a more advanced practice.  This Tibetan compassion meditation practice has been taught often in the Vajrayana school of Buddhism.  In my opinion […]

The Journey of Human Compassion Practices Where are YOU on the journey of human compassion practices?  I modified interpretations of compassion to present a more formal depiction of compassionate practices and skills.  Go ahead; take the compassion quiz. Your Goal: To Reduce Human Suffering Human Warmth   Unconditional Positive Regard   Human Caring     Compassionate Actions […]

Vipassana Meditation and Introduction Vipassana meditation, as taught by S. N. Goenka, has been practiced in India, Europe, the United States and in many other parts of the world. There are various claims for effectiveness when used as a form of meditative treatment with various populations (often correctional and substance using populations); however, there is […]

Buddhist Thought on Joy and Suffering 1) You actually DO have some control over your emotional destiny. 2) The core “conceptual” view of reality is that your inner emotional experience – especially negative afflictive emotional states related to people, places and things you REACT to – are perceived as totally true. 3) In a non-conceptual […]

What The Buddha Taught About Metta In the Metta Sutta (Anguttara Nikaya, 11:16) The Buddha said that we should seek the following characteristics in how we live our lives: Wholesome goodness; Gentle speech; Human Humility; Personal contentment; Personal calmness; and, Pure-heartedness in all we think, say, and do. By living this way we would be […]

Basics of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction is, perhaps, one of the major contributions to evidence-based mindfulness therapies. Jon Kabat-Zinn’s development of this model of intervention was both timely and exquisite.  In clinical care of psychological and physical problems, these skills and practices are of utmost importance for improving (according to the most recent […]

Self-Help in Mind-Body Medicine In this brief post we will review several specific ways that may improve your psychological and physical health. The post will be short, sweet, and simple to encourage participation. Here it is. Affirmation – “I am learning to love myself just the way I am.” Repeat this mantra sub vocally over […]

Mindfulness Training  From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton,Vermont The Problem:   Many people become stuck in the suffering of their past, and they continue to re-experience an event in the futile hope to better understand it, or to find an escape from it.  Many of the same people become fixated fearfully […]

Practicing Interoceptive Meditations Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC The mindfulness-based process and intervention of interoception (also called neuroception) has slowly moved from meditation practice into clinical practice, now being part of the recommended MBSR, ACT, and more current CBT-based therapies. The three brief meditations below are presented to expand the use of interoceptive processes in […]

Stress In America – How to Deal with it Effectively The American Psychological Association just released the results of its annual stress survey for 2014.  This comprehensive study of stress in America has some serious implications for our health and happiness.  Although self-reported stress levels in many categories are lower than in 2013, the overall […]

Self-Reality Checks Are Needed in Your Mindful Clinical Practice It is highly important for helpers working in the co-occurring conditions field to become keenly aware of their own realities in practice and life that impact clinical effectiveness.  Below I have listed four areas that show up in clinical surveys and added four more that I […]

Amitabha Buddha – Pure Land Meditation The following meditation had been modified by me to make it a more specific self-healing meditation and to better fit the time we now live in. Sit quietly and complete 3-4 deep, calming breaths. Pay attention to the quality and density of the light you see outside of your […]

Psychoanalytic Gems – Even More D. W. Winnicott has made significant clinical contributions to both building therapeutic alliance and maintaining a positive, helpful focus in psychotherapy. Below I have noted various approaches to use in your therapy.  Use of these “gems” requires considerable knowledge and skill by the therapist.  Here is the list: Respect the […]

How We Make Habits – An Understanding Twenty-five hundred years ago the Buddha reportedly taught how humans make habits.  The insights of this earliest Buddhist Psychology sheds shame on the West, with its almost-the-same version of this view in the 20th century. One must wonder if B. F. Skinner or N. Chomsky knew about Buddhist […]

Drink a Cup of Tea with Thich Nhat Hanh According to the article “A Perfect Cup of Tea” by Noa Jones, The Great Meditation Master offers this sage advice about the best way to enjoy a great cup of tea. I suppose if you would rather drink coffee, the same suggestions may apply. Recognize that […]

Mindful Leadership Skills: How to Lead in Wise Mind Ways Researchers dealing with leadership skills have noted several acquired characteristics of effective leaders.  These same skills may be used in spreading “the word” about how mindfulness and wise mind practices reduce stress reactivity, enhance compassion, and expand the possibilities for human happiness, inner peace and […]

How to be Happier in a Relatively Unhappy World In today’s fast-paced, digitized, unstable world – with it uncertainty, childish tweets from on-high, and general dissatisfaction with things as they are – how may one become a happier person. It is clear that isolation will not work; it is clear that aggressive actions in opposition […]

Mindful Happiness Tags

MINDFULNESS TRAINING MEDITATION CONSCIOUSNESS BUDDHISM SELF MEDICATION BREATHING ANTHONY QUINTILIANI WISE MIND THERAPY. SUFFERING PRACTICE COMPASSION WALKING MEDITATION MINDFUL SELF ESTEEM COVID-19 ENLIGHTENMENT DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI TRAINING MINDFUL TRAINING MINDFUL HAPPINESS VIPASSANA MEDITATION ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER PSYCHOTHERAPY MINDFUL MEDITATION TRAUMA VIPASSANA EXERCISES BRAIN MINDFULNESS JOURNALING SELF MEDITATION PRACTICE THICH NHAT HANH SELF COMPASSION VERMONT PRACTICES ACTIVITIES MBSR ACTIVITY CLINICAL SUPERVISION EMPTINESS SELF CARE HAPPINESS ADDICTION

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2021 · Mindful Happiness