Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

January 22, 2021 By Admin

Loss, Grief and Suffering in America

Loss, Grief and Suffering in America

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Other than our nation’s suffering during The Civil War, The Great Depression, and World War II this past year has been one of the most stress-filled, fear-filled times in our history. Here is a list of the reasons behind it all: the COVID-19 pandemic, racial injustice, legal reactivity, massive unemployment, loss of housing, quarantines, closed schools and colleges, powerful political demonstrations, and a “president” who betrayed his trust and incited riotous violence against the Capital of the United States. Also a “president” who has been impeached not once but twice by The U.S. House of Representatives. What a year!

Types of Loss, Grief and Suffering

Along with the above, we have witnessed increased anxiety, depression, fear, anger and traumatic stress. Although death (loss of a loved one) is by far one of the most severe stressors, we also suffer from the virus, separation/divorce, developmental stress, incarceration, and the loss of the way of life in pre-COVID-19. Americans are suffering from various bio-psycho-social-spiritual dimensions of stress, loss and grief. Perhaps the correct words to use are “complicated grief.” Our current experiences with loss and grief go far beyond the stage-based versions of E. Kubler Ross; our current complex grief does not follow neat linear progressions, and includes more serious symptoms. For those who also experienced childhood trauma of various forms or developmental regressions the current experience is more exasperating and dangerous. When loss is catastrophic reactions may include nightmares, shame, guilt, regret, hopelessness and suicide. Cultural differences also play roles in loss and grief as well as its treatment. Therapists must also be aware of the influence of race, gender, sexual orientation, and age.

Treatments for Loss and Complex Grief

Treatments for loss and complex grief are many, but with varying levels of success. Matching treatments to client characteristics, and developing a powerful clinical alliance are important for therapeutic success. Below, I list (only) various treatments, most supported by empirical research and practice. I will leave it you the reader to look more deeply into treatments or interventions they may prefer. Here is the list: Trauma-Informed Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based therapies/practices (breath work, meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi-gong and MBSR or ACT), Continued Bonds Theory – the changed internal relationship with the lost person, and Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy – utilizing attachment styles of secure, insecure, anxious or avoidant.

Many therapeutic interventions may be helpful: social-emotional support, recovery journaling, music, exercise, imagery, play therapy, and sand tray work. Generally especially strong empathy is required. Self-care of the therapist is a must. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs may be helpful.  Other active interventions include empty-chair work (sitting in the “worry chair” or the lost person chair), self-talk or out-loud talk using stimulus words like relax, breathe, not me, etc. Social networking with new people in groups is often helpful. Improving client self-care and participating in activities associated with joy or satisfaction moves the mind to other things.

In the end, if so many various interventions fail to meet needs, people should consider joining a formal, therapeutic bereavement group. Loss is emotionally tough, and recovery requires complete emotional activation.

For more information refer to: comments of A. Bodner, Ph.D. in The New England Psychologist, p. 2 (Winter, 2021). Hanlon, P. (2021). The Many Faces of Complicated Grief. The New England Psychologist, pp. 1 & 4 (Winter, 2021). Cormier, S. The Transformative Power of Loss. Psychotherapy Networker,  pp. 17-18 (January-February, 2021). Cacciatore, J. (2020). Grieving is Loving: Compassionate Words for Bearing the Unbearable. Boston, Wisdom Publications, pp. 1-8.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Coping, Covid-19, E.Kubler-Ross, Featured, Grief, Happiness, Healing, Human Needs, Inner Peace, Joy and Suffering, Personal Suffering, Practices, Relational Suffering, Self Care, Suffering, Tools, Treatment Tagged With: AMERICA, COPING, COVID19, E. KUBLER-ROSS, EMOTIONAL, GRIEF, HOPE, JOURNALING, JOY, LOSS, LOVING, MINDFUL, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICES, SELF, SOCIAL, SUFFERING, THERAPISTS, TREATEMENTS, TREATMENT

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Zen Buddhist Practices – Egolessness In our practice we often inquire, and sometimes experience, the no-self and/or egolessness. What is egolessness? Who and what do we think we are? Some say that when we die the essence but not the ego lives on into new experiences. Karma and re-birth are givens in this spiritual view. […]

Mindful Happiness Book Review The Awakened Introvert: Practical Mindfulness skills…  By Arnie, Kozak, Ph.D. Dr. Kozak begins his book noting the processes of mind that often cause people to suffer.  Critical judging, unhelpful story telling, over-attending to past suffering or losses and angst about possible future realities (the brain’s default mode), and auto-pilot inattention to important […]

COVID-19 Brings Higher Stress and Emotion Dysregulation The Book of Job notes “Man is born unto troubles as the sparks fly upward.” Current stress surveys indicate Americans are stressed out due to COVID-19 concerns, work stress (money needs), imbalance in life-work experience, and lack of support (social, emotional, financial).  The 2020 American Psychological Association national survey […]

Stress In America – How to Deal with it Effectively The American Psychological Association just released the results of its annual stress survey for 2014.  This comprehensive study of stress in America has some serious implications for our health and happiness.  Although self-reported stress levels in many categories are lower than in 2013, the overall […]

Forms of Happiness from Buddhist Psychology Given the season “to be jolly” I plan to write several posts on the topic of happiness. The following information notes five stages or levels of happiness.  Read them over and see what stage/level may be appropriate for you at this time in your practice. Note that some meditation […]

Mindful Happiness – Brain on Meditation Reports from various MRI and self-report measure studies support the proposition that your brain changes (neuronal plasticity) when you practice meditation on a regular (daily) basis.   The same is likely true when you practice yoga on a regular basis. Here are some noted changes in brain functioning that […]

Deepak Chopra’s Ideas on “The Future of God” – Part 3 of In this third and last post I will discuss Deepak Chopra’s views of the three worlds of human experience: Material, Subtle, and Transcendent.  As usual, I will paraphrase and add my own comments as appropriate.  Belief in god or a higher power has […]

A Buddhist Sutta on Your Desires and Suffering This post is about the Buddhist Sutta called The Gilana Sutta (SN 35:74). It is a touching story about a young monk, who became very ill. Another monk informed The Buddha of the young monk’s health conditions. Buddha visited and hoped he had improved and held on to […]

 Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy “gems” In my opinion there are about eleven such “gems” in psychoanalytic psychotherapy.  Use of these interventions in various types of psychotherapy may improve clinical outcomes beyond insight. Although these curative interventions have often been associated with treatment of psychological trauma, object loss, and inner conflict, they may also be useful in the […]

Laughter to Support you in Suffering As we all know life is filled with joy, suffering, and neutrality or boredom. This is THE WAY IT IS! Or, as a very good old friend often reminded me: “It is what it is!”  In Buddhism we preach a middle way in various areas of practice; the same […]

Psychological Research on the Dangers of Smartphone Abuse There is no doubt that smartphone technology bring us a great deal of advanced technological access to a world of information and communication. There is a downside. Recent research published by The American Psychological Association in March, 2017, and opinions in The Atlantic warn of potential and actual biopsychosocial […]

Mindfulness Expands the Art of Journal Writing T. Merton, J. Kerouc, I. Progoff, J. Upton, and others have helped to expand the art or journal writing practice.  This type of practice can become your mindfulness practice.  You will need to write on a daily basis (even if briefly), and you will need to be highly […]

Forgiveness Meditation Practice – Mindful Happiness – Dr Anthony Quintiliani Sit comfortably in a meditation posture. Allow your breath to remain natural without any intentional modification.  Allow your body to relax, and allow your mind to be open to and to expect forgiveness.  Focus attention on your heart area deep within your soul, and allow […]

Tips on Practice During These Troubling Times Some people are religious, and I am sure turn to those sources for support and hope. Others are spiritual, and I hope also pursue those sources for emotional stability and closeness to the “their” divine. Other people may  be Agnostic or Atheist; I am certain such people also […]

Amitabha Buddha – Pure Land Meditation The following meditation had been modified by me to make it a more specific self-healing meditation and to better fit the time we now live in. Sit quietly and complete 3-4 deep, calming breaths. Pay attention to the quality and density of the light you see outside of your […]

The Journey of Human Compassion Practices Where are YOU on the journey of human compassion practices?  I modified interpretations of compassion to present a more formal depiction of compassionate practices and skills.  Go ahead; take the compassion quiz. Your Goal: To Reduce Human Suffering Human Warmth   Unconditional Positive Regard   Human Caring     Compassionate Actions […]

Mindfulness Practices to help Reduce Your Worry & Suffering My last post dealt with various mindfulness-based practices and skills that may help to reduce created suffering due to excessive worrying.  I will add a few more practices in this post.  First, let us go back to Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, and his Meditations. In Book 2, page 14 […]

Meditation on the Feeling of Letting Go – Pacification! Pacifying the mind is a desired outcome of regular, stable meditation practice.  Pacification may be done via meditating on the breath, general mindfulness awareness, vipassana, and various other forms of  meditation.  However, the wise mind skill of “letting go” of unhelpful, negative, and harmful thoughts and […]

Vipassana Meditation – Emptiness One of the great insights from regular, long-term vipassana practice is the experience of emptiness. The actual knowing of it by the experience of it. This is not your typical conceptual emptiness of the West; it is not total void, negative beings, or nihilistic pit, or suffering in endlessness.  It is […]

Using Lectio Divina to Improve Your Self-Esteem LectioDivina is an ancient form of Christian (Benedictine) meditation. This meditative prayer is sometimes called “Sacred Seeing.” Lectio Divina follows specific steps as a process: lectio or reading a passage; Meditatio  or meditating on the passage or image; Oratio or praying (I add – in your own way); […]

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2023 · Mindful Happiness