Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

January 22, 2021 By Admin

Loss, Grief and Suffering in America

Loss, Grief and Suffering in America

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Other than our nation’s suffering during The Civil War, The Great Depression, and World War II this past year has been one of the most stress-filled, fear-filled times in our history. Here is a list of the reasons behind it all: the COVID-19 pandemic, racial injustice, legal reactivity, massive unemployment, loss of housing, quarantines, closed schools and colleges, powerful political demonstrations, and a “president” who betrayed his trust and incited riotous violence against the Capital of the United States. Also a “president” who has been impeached not once but twice by The U.S. House of Representatives. What a year!

Types of Loss, Grief and Suffering

Along with the above, we have witnessed increased anxiety, depression, fear, anger and traumatic stress. Although death (loss of a loved one) is by far one of the most severe stressors, we also suffer from the virus, separation/divorce, developmental stress, incarceration, and the loss of the way of life in pre-COVID-19. Americans are suffering from various bio-psycho-social-spiritual dimensions of stress, loss and grief. Perhaps the correct words to use are “complicated grief.” Our current experiences with loss and grief go far beyond the stage-based versions of E. Kubler Ross; our current complex grief does not follow neat linear progressions, and includes more serious symptoms. For those who also experienced childhood trauma of various forms or developmental regressions the current experience is more exasperating and dangerous. When loss is catastrophic reactions may include nightmares, shame, guilt, regret, hopelessness and suicide. Cultural differences also play roles in loss and grief as well as its treatment. Therapists must also be aware of the influence of race, gender, sexual orientation, and age.

Treatments for Loss and Complex Grief

Treatments for loss and complex grief are many, but with varying levels of success. Matching treatments to client characteristics, and developing a powerful clinical alliance are important for therapeutic success. Below, I list (only) various treatments, most supported by empirical research and practice. I will leave it you the reader to look more deeply into treatments or interventions they may prefer. Here is the list: Trauma-Informed Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based therapies/practices (breath work, meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi-gong and MBSR or ACT), Continued Bonds Theory – the changed internal relationship with the lost person, and Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy – utilizing attachment styles of secure, insecure, anxious or avoidant.

Many therapeutic interventions may be helpful: social-emotional support, recovery journaling, music, exercise, imagery, play therapy, and sand tray work. Generally especially strong empathy is required. Self-care of the therapist is a must. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs may be helpful.  Other active interventions include empty-chair work (sitting in the “worry chair” or the lost person chair), self-talk or out-loud talk using stimulus words like relax, breathe, not me, etc. Social networking with new people in groups is often helpful. Improving client self-care and participating in activities associated with joy or satisfaction moves the mind to other things.

In the end, if so many various interventions fail to meet needs, people should consider joining a formal, therapeutic bereavement group. Loss is emotionally tough, and recovery requires complete emotional activation.

For more information refer to: comments of A. Bodner, Ph.D. in The New England Psychologist, p. 2 (Winter, 2021). Hanlon, P. (2021). The Many Faces of Complicated Grief. The New England Psychologist, pp. 1 & 4 (Winter, 2021). Cormier, S. The Transformative Power of Loss. Psychotherapy Networker,  pp. 17-18 (January-February, 2021). Cacciatore, J. (2020). Grieving is Loving: Compassionate Words for Bearing the Unbearable. Boston, Wisdom Publications, pp. 1-8.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Coping, Covid-19, E.Kubler-Ross, Featured, Grief, Happiness, Healing, Human Needs, Inner Peace, Joy and Suffering, Personal Suffering, Practices, Relational Suffering, Self Care, Suffering, Tools, Treatment Tagged With: AMERICA, COPING, COVID19, E. KUBLER-ROSS, EMOTIONAL, GRIEF, HOPE, JOURNALING, JOY, LOSS, LOVING, MINDFUL, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICES, SELF, SOCIAL, SUFFERING, THERAPISTS, TREATEMENTS, TREATMENT

October 15, 2016 By Admin

Joy is Within Reach – It is Up to You

Mindful Happiness:   Joy is Within Reach – It is Up to You to Choose It!

mindfulhappiness_joyWe all live in a very troubled world with lots of greed, hate, warfare, and danger. Many of us use distractions (addictions, cell phone habits, eating, gathering, games, etc.) to make it through the days. This
is true!  However, joy is available to you if you make it happen.  The following actions can improve your day.  There is one catch – you MUST do these things not simply think about them.  Here is a list of actions to consider.

Do your best:

  1. Not to self-medicate;
  2. To keep a positive mind – be in charge of your thoughts;
  3. To eat healthy foods – fresher and cleaner, the better;
  4. To do regular, daily exercise;
  5. To get enough sleep;
  6. To practice your spirituality and/or religion – especially powerful rituals;
  7. To value and take care of good relationships with others;
  8. To practice calm breathing a lot;
  9. To do meditation – sitting or walking;
  10. To do positive imagery;
  11. To move your body – yoga, tai chi, walking, running, dancing, etc.;
  12.  To walk more often in the woods;
  13. To laugh as hard as you can;
  14. To be generous and kind to others;
  15. To practice gratitude for what you DO HAVE now;
  16. To surround yourself with aromas you like – your olfactory bulb sends information to the limbic system before it becomes thoughts and emotions;
  17. To do good self-care;
  18. To practice radical acceptance for things you cannot change;
  19. To NOT live in the past, especially being trapped in bad things that happened to you;
  20. To be open to whet the future brings – there is hope;
  21. To self-validate and LOVE yourself; and,
  22. To be as good a person as you can be.

joy_mindfulhappiness

See Harvard Health Publications. Six ways to use your mind to control pain (physical and psychological). Retrieved 10-15-16. Wiley, M. (October 10, 2016). Sustaining wellness…Easy Health Options. Retrieved 10-15-16.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

ChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Benefits of Mindfulness, Featured, Joy, Joy and Suffering, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Training Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, JOY, MINDFUL HAPPINESS

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

The Nine Bow Ritual for Those You Respect Deeply The Nine Bow Ritual is a simple practice of deep respect.  Think of a person, living or not, for whom you have very strong positive feelings.  If you select a person no longer living, you may be surprised at the emotional impact of this ritual. If […]

Liberate Yourself with Spiritual Energy Cultivating authentic inner and outer peace is the only way to a happy and good future. Learn to use your spiritual higher self to let go of self-centerednesss, greed, and entitlement. Work to free yourself from the endless grasping for material “things.”  Does it really matter what kind of car […]

The Reality of Experience What is deep mindfulness?  Deep mindfulness is the concentrated awareness of all experiences, preferably without evaluating as pleasant or unpleasant. Deep mindfulness is pure awareness as it becomes part of personal consciousness. We humans, however, are always evaluating our experiences and phenomena as pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant – often getting hooked […]

More on Mindful Breathing Whole-Heart Breathing – I have modified and expanded this great process from Thich Nhat Hanh.  If comfortable close your eyes and simply breathe calming and deeply for a few breaths. Add you personal half smile and allow the soothing (sometimes very subtle) sensation to spread all over your face.  Do not […]

Mindfulness, Movement, and Meditation Practices Meditation Master Thich Nhat Hanh offers some of the most helpful mindfulness, movement, and meditation instructions available today.  His themes here are about reducing your suffering, increasing your satisfactions, and expanding your happiness as a result. Please do not note that “I do not have time to do these things!” […]

Tips for Improving Your Mindfulness Practices The following practices may improve your mindfulness skills.  It all depends – it all depends on whether or not you will do regular, daily practices.  If you desire to improve your mindfulness skills, consider following the tips noted below.  Most of the practices below involve sitting meditation.  Likewise, regular […]

Breathing Practices and Emptiness Here I will introduce you to five breathing practices, each one moving progressively closer and closer to emptiness/no-self experiences. Do your best to remain open in these practices. Notice the feel of your posture. Once comfortable notice your breath as it is. Relax and close your eyes if ok. Rest your […]

Self-Help Journaling – Two Methods Generally there are two forms of self-help journaling: writing about worries and concerns OR writing about joy and happiness. In my more than 35 years of clinical experience I have not found the former to be very helpful. Most people stuck in negative mood states are not easily able to […]

“The Other Shore” to Happiness and Enlightenment Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, The Other Shore: A New Translation of The Heart Sutra…Berkeley, CA: Palm Leaves Press brings us on an inner journey toward a happier, more peaceful and enlightened life. Wisdom implies that we understand that life is made up of mental formations, no-self (more clarifications later), […]

From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation, Monkton, Vermont – Five Breathing and Meditation Practices – Attention and concentration on the breath are common practices to attune meditation capacity. We use the breath as an object of attention in our mind training.   The better your quality of attention and concentration, the better […]

Mindfulness Practices to help Reduce Your Worry & Suffering My last post dealt with various mindfulness-based practices and skills that may help to reduce created suffering due to excessive worrying.  I will add a few more practices in this post.  First, let us go back to Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, and his Meditations. In Book 2, page 14 […]

Our Brains React to Worry According to research by The American Psychological Association in 2015, some of the core sources of severe stress reaction for Americans are: financial problems, job-related problems, family problems, and health problems.  Our lives are complete only with joy/happiness, suffering and boredom – sometimes referred to as pleasant, unpleasant and neutral […]

Interpersonal Mindfulness Various forms of mindfulness-based compassion training help us to care more about the needs, happiness, and health of other people. However, direct applications of interpersonal mindfulness activates these influences into direct action on behalf of others.  Thus, if lucky, we learn to care more about others and less about ourselves.  The self-centered ego […]

Mindfulness On Loss, Grief and Mourning Mindfulness about personal loss, grief, and mourning may encompass many things.  Here I will focus on the process and what people can do to better handle their suffering and pain.  One way to look at it is through the lens of radical acceptance; another is via the reality of […]

 Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy “gems” In my opinion there are about eleven such “gems” in psychoanalytic psychotherapy.  Use of these interventions in various types of psychotherapy may improve clinical outcomes beyond insight. Although these curative interventions have often been associated with treatment of psychological trauma, object loss, and inner conflict, they may also be useful in the […]

Safety:  Mindful Candle Gazing Meditation Practices Candle light and candle gazing are common in many spiritual and religious practices.  After many fire-related losses, religious organizations have found ways to maintain the practice and reduce liability related to accidental fires.  The National Candle Association is also quite aware that their products include some risk.  Therefore, the […]

Henry David Thoreau  & Walking Meditation Henry David Thoreau is, perhaps, the most individualistic of the American Transcendentalists. He asked us to consider what we have learned that is useful as we travel our own “stream of life.” He cautions us not to regret when we die that we “had not lived.” He advised us to […]

Making Boundless Space for Your Emotional Dragons In the past I have offered posts about radical acceptance and ways of dealing with your personal dragons or demons.  Here I will offer a more advanced perspective on how directly engaging your emotional dragons is a very important part of your spiritual path – your spiritual journey […]

Honoring First Nation – Native American Spirited-Wisdom American First Nation or Native American People (according to how they wish to be named) have  a strong spiritual traditions honoring life, the earth and the heavens.  Naming these wise peoples is a problem; out of respect one would call them First Nations, Native American, or a specific […]

My third posting on self-medication- Comes from the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont. Now we will turn our attention to how people become habituated to self-medication to obtain brief moments of joy and/or to avoid emotional suffering.  Recall that self-medication becomes a habit (dopamine released in reward centers of the […]

Mindful Happiness Tags

MBSR CLINICAL SUPERVISION MEDITATION PRACTICE ADDICTION ACTIVITIES THERAPY. JOURNALING WISE MIND COMPASSION SELF CARE TRAINING SELF MEDICATION ACTIVITY HAPPINESS MINDFULNESS TRAINING PRACTICE PSYCHOTHERAPY THICH NHAT HANH ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER MINDFULNESS DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI MINDFUL MEDITATION CONSCIOUSNESS ENLIGHTENMENT BUDDHISM VIPASSANA SELF MINDFUL EMPTINESS MINDFUL HAPPINESS WALKING MEDITATION BRAIN COVID-19 MINDFUL TRAINING VERMONT MEDITATION SUFFERING EXERCISES SELF ESTEEM PRACTICES SELF COMPASSION ANTHONY QUINTILIANI VIPASSANA MEDITATION BREATHING TRAUMA

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2022 · Mindful Happiness