Behaviors People Display When in Groups

After more than 35 years of facilitating hundreds of classes, workshops, family therapy sessions, group therapy sessions, and work project groups it has become clear that we do some strange things when we participate in groups. It appears to me that many of these in-group functions serve both ego and limbic needs. Yes, our prefrontal brain and our lower brain regions (limbic and rewards) play important (if outdated) roles in how humans function in group settings. Here I will simply list a sampling of such behaviors.  Many of these behaviors need to be observed, assessed, utilized, and sometimes addressed  if a group leader/facilitator/therapist will be successful. Here is the short list of what to observe and use.

1. Underlying messages and beliefs signaled by behavior and/or facial/emotional expression;
2. Patterns of communication within the group, both verbal and nonverbal;
3. Emotional acting out as process or diversion;
4. Sub-group alliances, both short-term and long-term;
5. Behavioral changes when the make up of group members change;
6. The way social and emotional influence are used;
7. How personal power is used;
8. Patterns of activity – acting out/ acting in, etc.;
9. When silence dominates;
10. Patterns of hostility, cooperation, compassion, caring, etc.;
11. Possible hidden agendas;
12. Possible secrets between members;
13. The openness and closeness of the group and its process;
14. The power of truth in what is shared and shown;
15. How people look at each other, and how they address each other;
16. Self and other oriented talking;
17. How blame is used;
18. Willingness to allow others to speak for you – or not; and,
19. Consistent roles people tend to play.

Although this is a partial list, the best solution is the same: speak truth; share power; protect group process; protect others; do no harm; deeply listen with all your senses; be as kind as possible; be as compassionate as possible; and do your best to help the group achieve its goals. For an interesting view of this process (one based on human doubt), see Abblett, M. (2018). The Five Hurdles to Happiness and the Mindful Path to Overcoming Them. Boulder, CO: Shambhala Publications, pp. 170-218.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness  

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon