February 24, 2015 By Admin

Loving Kindness Meditation

Loving Kindness Meditation –

More Thoughts

Some less experienced meditators complain about how easily the mind’s wandering thoughts distract them from paying attention and deepening concentration. This is a very common problem in meditation practice, and not always just for novices. Here is a solution for you to try. In Loving Kindness Meditation, you focus attention on specific thoughts – internal, subvocal, self-statements like “May I be Safe.” Since the mind is the seat of thinking, and since thought, speech, and action are fundamental aspects of how you live your life – Buddhist or otherwise – loving and kind thoughts may help improve your meditation skills. In mindfulness traditions, thought is simply another aspect of processing sensory information – in fact one of the sensory processes. Thinking leads to consciousness; consciousness may improve or distract your meditation practice. Yes, Loving Kindness Meditation helps to improve the quality of your thoughts, speech and actions. In this practice we soon learn that wishing the best for others also enhances our own joy; it is soothing and comforting. When we open our soft hearts and wish safety, health, and happiness for others we engage in a basic bodhisattva action. More active loving kindness and compassion practices take us a step further into doing things that help other reduce suffering and enhance happiness. There are many compassion practices. Here we will focus only on Loving Kindness Meditation.

Loving Kindness Meditation follows a recommended sequence. There are, however, variations. Begin with yourself. For example: “May I be safe.” Then move your attention to a significant other: “May … be safe.” We can include a good friend, benefactor, or mentor. And then we do move to a neutral person, even a total stranger. You can add a difficult person, and when ready (to forgive) move on to an enemy. Do not include the enemy until you are ready to forgive that person for their harmful actions. You will see that once you do forgive them, they no longer hold power over your emotions and your suffering may end. At this point in the sequence it is helpful to add all beings everywhere. End your practice sequence by going back to yourself. Each change in the object of your good wishes includes all statements before moving to another person. For example: May I be safe. May I be Healthy, May I be happy. May I live with ease. Then you move to the next person. There are other variations in what you say to yourself. For example: May I experience safety and the causes of safety. May I experience good health and the causes of good health. May I experience happiness and the causes of happiness. May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May I rest in great equanimity. At some point people who do regular loving kindness meditations may make up their own words.

These words would clarify what best meets what your needs are, and what you think other people may need.

I recommend that you use ritual as a norm in this practice. For example, light some incense, perhaps a candle, and ring a chime to begin and to end your practice.

1) Sit in a comfortable position, and relax yourself with a few deep, calm, slow breaths.

2) Begin with yourself. Select the phrases you want to say to yourself.

3) To enhance practice effects, as you say the words feel the associated emotions in your body. What does safety feel like? What does happiness feel like. Do your best to introject the power of associated emotions and sensations.

4) When you move to another person, as you say the words do your best to project outwardly the associated emotions of the words. Make an image of the recipient’s face, and send you words and emotions to them.

5) Continue through the sequences noted above.

6) End the sequence by going back to loving kindness for yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this practice.

Do it often – daily if possible. May you be successful in your loving kindness practices.

For more information refer to: Thondup, T. (2009). The Healing Power of Loving Kindness. Boston: Shambhala Publications. [CD]. Se also Chodron, P. (2009). Perfect Just as You Are. New York: Random House Audio. [CD]. And Salzburg, S. (1995). Loving – Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness. Boston: Shambhala Publications.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Practicing Interoceptive Meditations Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC The mindfulness-based process and intervention of interoception (also called neuroception) has slowly moved from meditation practice into clinical practice, now being part of the recommended MBSR, ACT, and more current CBT-based therapies. The three brief meditations below are presented to expand the use of interoceptive processes in […]

Self-Help Journaling – Two Methods Generally there are two forms of self-help journaling: writing about worries and concerns OR writing about joy and happiness. In my more than 35 years of clinical experience I have not found the former to be very helpful. Most people stuck in negative mood states are not easily able to […]

Journaling and Grief Process Regular brief journaling may be helpful in your grief and horror regarding significant personal losses of self and/or others. Here are the various ways it may be helpful to you. Writing and reading about your personal loss experience may help you to make sense of the process, and at the same […]

A Tribute to Ram Dass (Richard Alpert) Recently Ram Dass died at his home in Maui. He was 88 years old. He was born into a well-off Boston family, and enjoyed materialism in his early professional years. When completing a Ph.D. in Psychology at Stanford University he was still into material things. His spiritual awakening […]

-The Word, Sound, Meditation, and Music are all Timeless A Tribute to Elvis Presley and his Music The word has been associated with human consciousness. The word requires the energy of sound to hear it. Meditation places us in a most receptive state of mind and body; it allows us to be open to our […]

Your Regular Practice: Impact on Yourself From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont Compassion Training: Here is a quick self-assessment process to see if your regular compassion practice has had positive effects on you. Review the questions below and decide what your answers are. I hope you have noted pleasant […]

Mindful Happiness: Joy is Within Reach – It is Up to You to Choose It! We all live in a very troubled world with lots of greed, hate, warfare, and danger. Many of us use distractions (addictions, cell phone habits, eating, gathering, games, etc.) to make it through the days. This is true! However, […]

COVID-19 Brings Higher Stress and Emotion Dysregulation The Book of Job notes “Man is born unto troubles as the sparks fly upward.” Current stress surveys indicate Americans are stressed out due to COVID-19 concerns, work stress (money needs), imbalance in life-work experience, and lack of support (social, emotional, financial). The 2020 American Psychological Association national survey […]

Trauma Therapy: Basics from Some Expert Clinicians For many years trauma therapist have used many approaches in their psychotherapy. Most of these approaches lack strong empirical support for outcomes, and are often the “favorites” of these therapists. One might wonder what benefits therapists derive from using approaches that are not evidence-based. If an intervention fails […]

Tonglen Meditation or Giving and Taking I have added various posts about many compassion practice. Earlier posts have covered a range of practices – from super-easy to more demanding. Here, I will add a more advanced practice. This Tibetan compassion meditation practice has been taught often in the Vajrayana school of Buddhism. In my opinion […]

Happiness Path – The 14th Dalai Lama His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama has suggested, among many other important things, that humans may experience true inner happiness by regular practice on the path to enlightenment. In his 2012 book, From Here to Enlightenment, he noted that personal happiness may be attained via specific behaviors and ways of […]

Calming Your Self-Critical Self with Mindfulness A core problem for many people is their incessant self (or other) criticism. This is a major part of our psychological mind suffering today. In the past life for most people was more difficult, so human basic needs were the energized priorities; today so many of us have been […]

A Radical Feminist in her Time Over 800 years ago Hildegard of Bingen presented radical viewpoints on women-power and male-dominance in the Christian Church, stone/gem healing, meditation, insight and intellect, the web of life or planetary oneness, being in nature, environmentalism, and personal stories of suffering, etc. Despite her outspoken manner and her popularity among […]

Trauma Informed Care – Avoidance Process Although more and more clinicians are learning about and using principles/practices of Trauma Informed Care, too few understand the behavioral dynamics of negative reinforcement in the avoidance of trauma-related cues (people, places, things, internal sensations, emotions and images). This post will give a very brief description of negative reinforcement […]

Mindfulness and Concentration – Experience Differences In this post I will explain some basic differences between mindfulness and concentration, both of which are required for effective meditation practice. This will be the first of three posts dealing with what mindfulness and concentration are, how to experience them briefly in a body-based activity, and how to […]

Helper Burnout in Today’s Healthcare System Helper burnout is a very common problem in all healthcare services and at all levels of professional training and experience. Helpers from recovery-oriented peer counselors, state employed case managers, and licensed counselors/therapists all the way to physicians are reporting record high levels of reactive stress and compassion fatigue. Psychiatrists are […]

Wind Ridge Press NEW Publication! Author Anthony Quintiliani, a licensed psychologist with more than 35 years professional clinical experience, casts a wide net into the personal, clinical, and societal causes of prolonged human suffering and unhappiness in his book Mindful Happiness. The book’s guided interventions are aimed at helping to relieve depression, anxiety, traumatic reactivity, and […]

Help For Therapists: Working with Diversity Clinical interventions, especially strongly evidence-based interventions, impact clients via new skills and practices in mind-body clinical realities. No matter how good (or “good enough” ) a clinical intervention is it requires a highly positive, active therapeutic relationship. As ample research suggests, a strong and positive therapeutic relationship in therapy […]

Relapse Prevention Plans – The Basics T. T. Gorski, Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC The following information about how to develop effective relapse prevention plans has been paraphrased from the Work of Terrence T. Gorski. It is highly practical and a concrete way to develop your skills in relapse prevention interventions. Intermediate (Marlatt and Gordon) […]

Making the Best of the Holidays Thanks to Sounds True, we have many good suggestions for making the most of the holidays. It is a norm for the holidays to be happy and joyous, and it is a norm for many people for the holidays to be filled with emotional and behavioral challenges. To reduce […]