February 24, 2015 By Admin

Loving Kindness Meditation

Loving Kindness Meditation –

More Thoughts

Some less experienced meditators complain about how easily the mind’s wandering thoughts distract them from paying attention and deepening concentration. This is a very common problem in meditation practice, and not always just for novices. Here is a solution for you to try. In Loving Kindness Meditation, you focus attention on specific thoughts – internal, subvocal, self-statements like “May I be Safe.” Since the mind is the seat of thinking, and since thought, speech, and action are fundamental aspects of how you live your life – Buddhist or otherwise – loving and kind thoughts may help improve your meditation skills. In mindfulness traditions, thought is simply another aspect of processing sensory information – in fact one of the sensory processes. Thinking leads to consciousness; consciousness may improve or distract your meditation practice. Yes, Loving Kindness Meditation helps to improve the quality of your thoughts, speech and actions. In this practice we soon learn that wishing the best for others also enhances our own joy; it is soothing and comforting. When we open our soft hearts and wish safety, health, and happiness for others we engage in a basic bodhisattva action. More active loving kindness and compassion practices take us a step further into doing things that help other reduce suffering and enhance happiness. There are many compassion practices. Here we will focus only on Loving Kindness Meditation.

Loving Kindness Meditation follows a recommended sequence. There are, however, variations. Begin with yourself. For example: “May I be safe.” Then move your attention to a significant other: “May … be safe.” We can include a good friend, benefactor, or mentor. And then we do move to a neutral person, even a total stranger. You can add a difficult person, and when ready (to forgive) move on to an enemy. Do not include the enemy until you are ready to forgive that person for their harmful actions. You will see that once you do forgive them, they no longer hold power over your emotions and your suffering may end. At this point in the sequence it is helpful to add all beings everywhere. End your practice sequence by going back to yourself. Each change in the object of your good wishes includes all statements before moving to another person. For example: May I be safe. May I be Healthy, May I be happy. May I live with ease. Then you move to the next person. There are other variations in what you say to yourself. For example: May I experience safety and the causes of safety. May I experience good health and the causes of good health. May I experience happiness and the causes of happiness. May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May I rest in great equanimity. At some point people who do regular loving kindness meditations may make up their own words.

These words would clarify what best meets what your needs are, and what you think other people may need.

I recommend that you use ritual as a norm in this practice. For example, light some incense, perhaps a candle, and ring a chime to begin and to end your practice.

1) Sit in a comfortable position, and relax yourself with a few deep, calm, slow breaths.

2) Begin with yourself. Select the phrases you want to say to yourself.

3) To enhance practice effects, as you say the words feel the associated emotions in your body. What does safety feel like? What does happiness feel like. Do your best to introject the power of associated emotions and sensations.

4) When you move to another person, as you say the words do your best to project outwardly the associated emotions of the words. Make an image of the recipient’s face, and send you words and emotions to them.

5) Continue through the sequences noted above.

6) End the sequence by going back to loving kindness for yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this practice.

Do it often – daily if possible. May you be successful in your loving kindness practices.

For more information refer to: Thondup, T. (2009). The Healing Power of Loving Kindness. Boston: Shambhala Publications. [CD]. Se also Chodron, P. (2009). Perfect Just as You Are. New York: Random House Audio. [CD]. And Salzburg, S. (1995). Loving – Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness. Boston: Shambhala Publications.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindfulness On Loss, Grief and Mourning Mindfulness about personal loss, grief, and mourning may encompass many things. Here I will focus on the process and what people can do to better handle their suffering and pain. One way to look at it is through the lens of radical acceptance; another is via the reality of […]

More Characteristics of Happiness – Happiness #4 Here I will continue my posts about the common characteristics of happiness. Here is the list. Keep an Open Mind – Maintaining an open mind opens up doorways to interesting things in the world, some of which may help you to become happier. Also, open-mindedness reduces inner tension […]

What is Mindfulness – The Nature of Mindfulness This is an expanded second post on the nature of mindfulness. This post will begin with secular understandings, and end with basic spiritual path information. Generally mindfulness is a wide-ranging process with a special noticing quality. It focuses the power of attention leading to improved concentration. Mindfulness […]

Using Your Compassionate Mind in Psychotherapy For you to become a more compassionate therapist, follow the details noted below. These preconditions, skills, and practices are required as a baseline for compassionate practice. You need the ability to access calmness in an environment of emotional suffering, chaos, or conflict. Most people do this by breathing in […]

Core Elements in Clinical Supervision In addition to what supervisors bring into group supervision and clinical training, the list below will be used for discussion about YOUR supervisory role. The order of content below is generally random. The content noted applies to clinical supervision; it could also apply to doing effective therapy. The skills and […]

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do. It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current rampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: […]

Many Benefits of Mindfulness and Vipassana Meditation The Dalai Lama (Gyatso, Tenzin), the world leader of Tibetan Buddhism, and Paul Ekman, the world famous Psychologist of human emotions, have teamed up to discuss how to use mindful emotional awareness skills to become more emotionally balanced and compassionate. These two highly skilled practitioners have listed 21 […]

Advanced Meditation Practices on Perception As the Sutra story goes, the Buddha instructed Ananda to visit the ailing venerable Girimananda, who was very, very ill. In an effort to help the ailing man, the Buddha told Ananda to guide him in the Ten Meditation on Perceptions (on sensory input and the objects of mind). According […]

Personal Happiness in the Age of COVID-19 We are all in this together! However, wealth and employment status do play important roles. RTI International and the Consortium for Implementation Science have serious concerns about the links between racial equity, social justice, and personal responses to COVID-19. Neuroscience notes that personal happiness in a brain-mind-body thing. Its […]

Subtle and Direct Experiences of Happiness Khenpo Sherab Zangpo’s 2017 publication The Path: A Guide to Happiness, Somerville, MA: Wisdom Publications has much to offer about how to become a happier person. Read over the listing below and see what you may be missing. Try this mantra: “I am happy the way I am.” “I am happy […]

Improving Your Self-Esteem – An Action Contemplation The UCLA Higher Education Research Institute’s surveys and V. Mamgain’s ideas about neoclassical economics of happiness help provide a means to deconstruct improved learning in higher education and also personal happiness in the process. According to the UCLA research surveys, higher education students want more spirituality and personal […]

Vipassana for Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, and Addictions The integration of Vipassana meditation with various forms of therapy has for many years been a standard of treatment worldwide and in Vermont, especially when impulse control and emotion regulations issues are included. Buddhist Psychology offers clear explanations why this intervention may be helpful for so many suffering […]

The Failed “War on Drugs” – Let’s Try Treatment On Demand and Fund It The New York based Drug Policy Alliance (drugpolicy.org) and other sources have provided some important information about our failed drug and alcohol policies. Here are a few astounding facts. The United Stares has about 5% of the world’s population, but it […]

From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation We humans have a unique way of perceiving and processing emotional experiences. Years ago I developed a formula to understand the perception and process of emotional experiences: CABS-VAKGO-IS/Rels. The C stands for cognition; we spend a great deal of time thinking about pretty much everything we […]

Chronic Pain and Doing Body Scanning Although doing body scans cannot fully relieve your pain, it may help you manage it better. If your pain is serious and chronic you need to work with a qualified pain management professional, who will use both psychological and medical interventions. Note that a recent issue of Consumer Reports reviewed […]

Liberate Yourself with Spiritual Energy Cultivating authentic inner and outer peace is the only way to a happy and good future. Learn to use your spiritual higher self to let go of self-centerednesss, greed, and entitlement. Work to free yourself from the endless grasping for material “things.” Does it really matter what kind of car […]

Very “SAD” Facts about the Addictions Field A recent issue of the Addictions Professional presented very disturbing news about how clinicians in the field are doing. NOT WELL! Addictions clinicians treat people with addictions but mainly people with co-occurring disorders – addictions with trauma, depression, anxiety and/or eating disorders. Often there is also a co-occurring medical […]

Deepak Chopra’s Ideas on “The Future of God” – Part 3 of In this third and last post I will discuss Deepak Chopra’s views of the three worlds of human experience: Material, Subtle, and Transcendent. As usual, I will paraphrase and add my own comments as appropriate. Belief in god or a higher power has […]

Meditation Process in Chan Buddhism Chan Master Changlu’s The Deportmant for Sitting Meditation (12th century China) is a clear and helpful set of instruction. 1) It begins with the making of a personal vow for great compassion, personal liberation, and samadhi – all for the purpose of delivering sentient beings from their suffering and to their […]

More Psychoanalytic Gems – In an earlier post, I noted a list of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Gems, including a later post on D.W. Winnicott’s approaches to building a therapeutic alliance. My general aversion to this form of therapy has more to do with its slowness and high costs than to its effectiveness. It is effective! However, […]