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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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September 29, 2019 By Admin

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue

First let’s begin with what some people do to counteract the stressors of living in a hurried,“over-technologized” world. Technically, “technologize” is not a popularly accepted word, but it is a sad  reality. We live in a time when texting while driving may become the new addiction-based cause for many, many deaths. This addiction is so strong people do it in situations that could case their injury or death, or the injury or death of others. Sound familiar! It should. Cellphone “abuse” is not so different from the plans of cigarette producers to “hook” us on something we will pay for during many years. So here is a partial list of what people tend to do when faced with severe stressors.

What people tend to do that does NOT improve their stress reactivity long-term:

  1. “Smoke and Coke” – a phrase referring to smoking nicotine and drinking sugary soft-drinks when you cannot cope well and feel dragged down with your stressful life and want to feel stimulated.
  2. Of course there is always excessive alcohol and/or drug use as self-medication.
  3. Sleeping – too little or too much, including late onset and too early awakening.
  4. Eating – too little or too much, and may include binging and purging.
  5. Hoarding for whatever security it brings.
  6. Obsessive compulsive  behaviors – as behaviors for security actions to make us feel better.
  7. Being aggressive when it is not necessary to defend yourself.
  8. Insulating yourself from contact with others.
  9. Living under a “victimhood” self-identification. This can change everything!
  10. Participating in self-harming behaviors to activate neurologic, chemical and hormonal changes in your brain and body.
  11. Engagement in unsafe sexual activities to feel “excitement” and/or “loved.”
  12. Spending too much time online or on my “I-Smart” phone. The phone becomes your life!
  13. Doing too much exercise, especially when injuries occur.
  14. Being a person of uncontrollable empathy – a clear boundary issue that wares you out.
  15. Making your job too much of your life – workaholism or compensation for poor self-esteem?
  16. Making do with professional, work stagnation.
  17. Remaining stuck in impaired practices – the most common one being emotional dysregulation.

What people can do that does improve stress reactivity and may even increase joy in life:

  1. Taking brief breaks from the “grind” of work.
  2. Recognizing and contemplating personal gratitude for what you DO have.
  3. Noticing and correcting unhelpful thoughts, emotions, behaviors and communications.
  4. Learning to hold a positive, optimistic mindset and attitude.
  5. Liberating yourself from “stuckness” in anxiety, depression, addictions, and trauma. This most often requires professional help and/or self-help.
  6. Cutting way back on your online time. Researchers suggest anything beyond 3-4 hours/day is a habitual pattern. What do our jobs, schools and parents contribute to the habitual tendencies of habit-forming digital/electronic devices?
  7. Ignoring FOMO!
  8. Spending time reading, writing,  journaling about helpful things.
  9. Spending time listening and/or playing music.
  10. Spending time dancing and/or doing regular exercise.
  11. Spending time doing regular practice of meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, mindful walking.
  12. Petting your dog or cat – or horse. Looking into their eyes when they allow it.
  13. Spending time walking in nature.
  14. Learning to give/get social-emotional support.
  15. Learning to leave work at work – learn to build emotional boundaries.
  16. Practice limit-setting regarding your boundaries and what you do to help others.
  17. Making a firm commitment to improve your wellness.
  18. Taking part in constructive self-reflection.
  19. Paying more attention to positives ( natural for the brain to do the opposite).
  20. Helpful nutrition, sleep and exercise practices.
  21. Learn to play more; learn to be active in creative expression.
  22. Participating in regular spiritual practices.
  23. Spending more quality time with loved ones and good friends when helpful.
  24. Leaving some time to just be in quiet, silent solitude.
  25. Seeking professional help as soon as you “feel” you MAY need it, or when others who care about you “think” you need it.

You will notice that the helpful list is longer than the unhelpful list. However, the unhelpful behaviors are often more automatic, and the helpful behaviors REQUIRE considerable effort to carry out. Your wellness must be a priority for you.

For more information refer to Bray, B. (2019). Counselors as human beings not superheroes. Counseling Today (October, 2019), 18-25

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Calming, Compassion Fatigue, Destructive Emotions, Emotions, Featured, Inner Peace, Interventions, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Recovery, Self -Kindness, Self Care, Self Compassion, Stress Reduction, Success, Tools, True Self, Well Being Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, COMPASSION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, STRESS REDUCTION

August 16, 2018 By Admin

Quintiliani’s Whole Person Recovery Planning

Quintiliani’s Whole Person Recovery Planning

To me the “whole person recovery planning” includes biological, psychological, social, spiritual, and self components and changes. To simplify – it is not simple or quick – I will simply list the core components of this comprehensive form of recovery process.  I may add more details to this process in future posts.

  1. Biological planning and skills includes the areas of prescribed medication as needed; recovery oriented nutrition; regular vigorous exercise if able to do so; MAT with therapy as needed; appropriate sleep patterns and habits; and, a heavy dose of regular physical self-care.
  2. Psychological planning and skills includes hope; social-emotional supports; psychological bonding with others on this same journey; self-compassion skills; the mindfulness RAIN process; psychological self-care (quieting your mind’s negative self-talk and negative introjections from others, etc.); regular practice of learned CBT and mindfulness skills; CBT and other effective therapies for depression, anxiety, addiction, etc.; regular practice of meditation and yoga, effective therapies for recovery from trauma (CBT, EMDR, MBSR, DBT, ACT, etc.); practice of radical; self-acceptance; and, the ability to develop a strong therapeutic helping relationship/alliance in therapy (psychodynamics that work). In my mind with over 35 years of clinical experience, I do see the psychological components as the most powerful – along with the spiritual areas.
  3. Social planning and skills include social skills training as needed; regular social-emotional supports; regular participation in a fellowship of recovery-oriented processes (AA, 12 Steps, etc.); the slow and safe self-extraction from various toxic relationships; practicing skills of relational mindfulness; and, compassionate actions toward others.
  4. Spiritual planning and practices include hope; belief in something greater than yourself; regular religious and/or spiritual practices; “I Am” meditations; “forest bathing” meditations; spending more personal time in nature and being aware of its wonder; belief in the power of your soul-self or true-self; practicing Step 11 often; and, practicing liking and/or loving yourself in a non-narcissistic manner.
  5. Self planning and skills include recovering from ACEs (adverse childhood experiences, especially early life trauma); self-esteem building activities; pursuit of YOUR strong aspirations; practical strength-building activities; self-respect and self-acceptance; self-compassion; and, practicing the ancient Christian meditation process called lectio divina (deeper and deeper meditation on a sacred writing, or a self-esteem and strength-building brief writing about your values and strengths).

So, here you have it – all of it. In my years of clinical and lived-life experience I clearly believe that people who engage vigorously in their own self-recovery process do the best as far as long-term recovery is concerned. I also believe that WE ALL are in some form of recovery process (depression, anxiety, addictions, trauma, eating problems, grief and loss, chronic physical illness or injury, etc.). This may not be the BIG-R Recovery process, but it is recovery process as a deep-seated, self-oriented process of hope, health, and happiness. Hope this information is helpful tip you.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Recovery, Whole Person Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, SELF, SOCIAL, SPIRITUAL, WHOLE PERSON RECOVERY PLANNING

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