Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

April 15, 2015 By Admin

Personal Suffering and Relative Suffering

Building Emotional Resilience

On a personal note, right now I am suffering.  Its April 15th and I have a terrible viral infection (sore throat, chest congestion, and fever).  I feel weak and miserable.  Perhaps all that frigid air we endured in New England this Winter also kept infectious “stuff” under control for a while. However, my probably temporary condition is nothing compared to the suffering millions of people endure every day all over this world.  I am not being targeted for annihilation due to my spiritual beliefs.  I am not being tortured.  I am not being battered – emotionally or physically. I am not starving.  Even if much of the food produced and consumed in the USA is relatively unhealthy (packaged, processed, chemicalized, GMO’d, extended shelf life for greed, etc.), if I can pay for food I can eat every single day.  Oh yes, I thought the Department of Agriculture was also protecting us from eating potentially unhealthy food! To the best of my knowledge, I am not drinking contaminated water.  I am not breathing toxic air like urban areas of China.  I do not fear venturing out; I do not expect to be harmed or killed.  I am not in a situation where outrageous greed tramples the basic standards of good health and a livable wage.  Many, many others may be.  Lastly, our (not mine) insatiable appetite for beef and the grains it requires may be one of the most potent contributors to world hunger.  Money, money, money!!!!  What is good for business may not always be good for the rest of us. Look at the new recommended Food Pyramid soon.  What I am saying is that suffering is a highly relative condition physically,  intra-psychically and socially.  The Dalai Lama and Pope Francis, two of the world most respected spiritual leaders have much to say about human suffering and what to do about it.

In the mindfulness traditions life consists of short-term joy, a bit longer-term happiness, much neutrality and boredom, and a whole lot of suffering.

Our craving for pleasure, and our fearing and avoiding displeasure keep us in the suffering cycle.  Suffering has two parts (“two arrows”); the unavoidable personalsuffering_mindfulhappinesssuffering that comes to all humans, and secondary suffering we produce on our own due to the unavoidable suffering we encounter.  The Dalai Lama suggests that we should not cause secondary suffering by worry.  If you can do something about suffering you expect to occur, then act on it.  If you cannot do something about it, still do not worry – because you cannot do anything about it.  If you become stuck in the pain of the past, or long for a return to a happier past, you are not living in the present moment.  If you worry about the future, stop.  You have no control over what life bring to you in the future. Plan for it but do not worry. Radical acceptance of what we cannot change, and tolerant self-compassion for our our suffering are the best we can do.  Pope Francis adds that we need to carry on with great human strength and dignity.  Winston Churchill is reported to have noted: when you feel like you are going through hell, you have NO CHOICE but to continue the trek.

Remember that we do benefit from small doses of suffering over time.  It builds our emotional resilience.  Suffering (yes even real suffering) is always produced in our minds and has causes and conditions. Fearful adjustment to change is a major cause of suffering.  Pope Francis adds that we must be fully aware Mindfulness_Resilience-MindfulHappinesswhen we suffer; this is necessary so we can change old patterns that result in more suffering.  There are ways to buffer ourselves NOT from suffering but from the mind’s emotional reactions to it.  Live a virtuous life. Be kind. Act with compassion.  Forgive others. Be generous – very generous.  Go deeper and deeper into your own spirituality to discover your true self and allow it to blossom.  We need to practice radical acceptance and re-deploying attention. Practice more gratitude and containment with what you do have.  Let go of what you crave wildly.

As long as greed, hate and anger rule the world, the world will be rushing toward its own destruction.  Recall that sometimes an enemy is a good teacher.  We can learn how the enemy has penetrated our mind and caused resentment, even hatred.  Pope Francis noted that we need love, patience, charity and to learn how to put up with each other.  He suggests (as has Thich Nhat Hanh) that we plant seeds of goodness in our hearts and minds. Good luck on your personal journey.

For more information refer to Kelly-Gangi, C. (Ed.). The Dalai Lama: His Essential Wisdom. New York: Fall River Press, pp. 48-54, and Kelly-Gangi, C. (Ed.). Pope Francis: His Essential Wisdom. New York: Fall River Press, pp. 94-96.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Personal Suffering, Suffering Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, PERSONAL SUFFERING, SUFFERING

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Zen Buddhist Emptiness and Christian Centering Prayer Recently Ken McLeod presented “Freedom of Choice” as a way to differentiate forms of spiritual materialism and emotional escapism from serious Buddhist practice.  He noted The Heart Sutra negations. There is no attainment for bodhisattvas as they pursue the perfection of wisdom. Ultimately, everything is empty. He refers […]

COVID-19 Brings Higher Stress and Emotion Dysregulation The Book of Job notes “Man is born unto troubles as the sparks fly upward.” Current stress surveys indicate Americans are stressed out due to COVID-19 concerns, work stress (money needs), imbalance in life-work experience, and lack of support (social, emotional, financial).  The 2020 American Psychological Association national survey […]

The Principles of Nature and Natural Healing This is an advanced post on Eastern views of healing. From ancient shamanic traditions all the way to today’s AMA approved procedures in energy medicine, healers have been trying to discover and integrate the foundations of nature into healing. This reality exists from shamanic rituals all the way […]

Helping Professions and Emotional Balance Helping professions must practice to achieve emotional balance.  Working conditions for the helping professions have become more and more difficult over time, especially with the advent of so called “helpful technologies” and ever-increasing governmental/funding requirements for documentation.  When I started in the (behavioral health) field of clinical psychology and addictions […]

In Times of Uncertainty; Clinical Practice H. Colodro and J. Oliver provide sound advice in their new book, A Guide to Self-Care for Practitioners in Times of Uncertainty. This 2020 New Harbinger publication is loaded with helpful suggestions on surviving, even thriving, in our time of struggle. Their core questions include: What do my clients need most […]

Alternative to Buddhism as Religion   – Simply put and Clearly Stated In case you become too serious about yourself in this life, note that there are reportedly 400 trillion subatomic vibrations every second. So be humble! And being humble is something I have had to do regarding my experience with Zen Buddhism as my […]

Self-Reality Checks Are Needed in Your Mindful Clinical Practice It is highly important for helpers working in the co-occurring conditions field to become keenly aware of their own realities in practice and life that impact clinical effectiveness.  Below I have listed four areas that show up in clinical surveys and added four more that I […]

So Many Ways to Self-Medicate –  It Just Brings More Suffering Very often poor child-parent (child-caretaker) object relations, attachment with care takers, and attunement by care takers negatively impact young children early in their lives.  The well-documented scientific fact that environmental conditions play a more important role in gene-expression than pure genetics implies clearly that […]

Mindfulness in the NFL Yes, mindfulness as part of sports psychology programming is being used in the NFL.  Yes, big and physically tough football players are being helped via a mindfulness component of sports psychology. There are some important roots here. Dogen, the famous ancient Japanese Buddhist meditation master, brought Chan Buddhism from China to […]

Secular Meditation and Addictions Treatment Today we have ample research evidence (NIH, NIDA, SAMHSA, etc.) that mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and mind training all have some effectiveness in improving addiction disorders. In recent meta-analyses the primary effect was through improved emotion regulations, whereas there was a more direct positive impact on chronic pain, depression, and anxiety. […]

Psychodynamics of Alliance – Therapeutic Relationship Enhancement This post includes basic considerations, processes, and clinical skills necessary for developing a strongly positive clinical alliance and therapeutic relationship in therapy.  Here the alliance is required for any substantial change in psychotherapy, and the therapeutic relationship rides the quality of the initial alliance to expand and inter-penetrate […]

ACT – The Absolute Basics; Acceptance & Commitment Therapy In this post I begin a series of writing dealing with ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The details below are basic, but perhaps just enough to develop more interest in learning about ACT. Here we go! 1) Act, developed mainly by Steven Hayes Ph.D.and based on […]

Concentration, Contentment, and Loving Kindness I have written various entries on concentration meditations in prior posts.  Yes, concentration meditation is beyond pure mindfulness meditation.  Here I will present briefly two other forms of meditation that are quite intentional and also beyond mindfulness: contentment and loving kindness meditations. Let’s begin with intentional meditation of contentment. Contentment […]

Drink a Cup of Tea with Thich Nhat Hanh According to the article “A Perfect Cup of Tea” by Noa Jones, The Great Meditation Master offers this sage advice about the best way to enjoy a great cup of tea. I suppose if you would rather drink coffee, the same suggestions may apply. Recognize that […]

About Interoception and It’s Importance Interoception (some may also call it neuroception) is the conscious detection and perception of sensory signals in the body and on the skin. Most often these signals are processed as sensations.  Sensation, as the foundation of emotional experience, is always there in our bodies; however, we are not always fully […]

Cognitive Defusion in Mindfulness Psychotherapy A well-meaning therapist might ask: What is cognitive defusion. Well this practice, as used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is beyond cognitive restructuring of cognitive distortions and automatic negative thoughts ( I call “Red Ants”). The practice concretely de-literalizes the personal truth and meaning of unhelpful, repetitive thoughts and words. […]

Practice Approaches to for Mindful and  Enhanced Emotion Regulation Brought to us by way of  The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont Mindful Approaches for Enhanced Emotion Regulation; here are some approaches to practice. 1)In some ways you could understand the progression from auto-pilot mind to greater stability and equanimity of […]

Mindfulness Defined… There are many definitions of mindfulness.  Here I have combined several popular views into one.  This definition and process may be helpful to readers who cannot quite grasp what it is, what it feels like, and what steps can make it happen.   Good luck in your regular practices!   Mindfulness is: Paying […]

Mindful Solidarity with Standing Rock Sioux Earth Protectors The Standing Rock Sioux earth protectors are fighting earth destruction, environmental degradation, oil profiteering, and corporate greed.  Yes, I suppose finding huge reserves of crude helps many people become employed in the Dakotas. This is important. But other earth-wise activity (more solar for example) would be far […]

Failure and Success: After We Fail, We Succeed Humans tend to get very discouraged when things do not go our way. This may be especially true for younger people, who have grown up attached to their instant gratification digital devices. Below I will list several highly successful people, but I will also note their many […]

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2023 · Mindful Happiness