Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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Strategies to Cool Your Hot Emotions

Strategies to Cool Your Hot Emotions: Using Mind and Body

First, let me note that one of the best sets of mind-body approaches to cooling down hot emotional reactions can be found in the various emotion regulation skills and practices in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (created by Marsha M. Lineman, a practicing Buddhist).  These skills may be better suited for informed therapist coolyourhotemotionsthan the lay public; however, the skills have been proven to be effective so all parties may benefit from practicing them. A less complex list includes many of the suggestions noted below.

  1. Drink lots of cold, pure water.
  2. Splash very cold water on your wrists and face (dive response).
  3. Move your body – sit if standing, and stand if sitting; walk if still, and be still if moving. Moving your body changes your internal physiology thus perhaps changing your emotional reactivity.
  4. Practice slow, deep abdominal breathing to calm down.
  5. Cry if it helps, especially if you are about to activate an aggressive action urge.
  6. Since emotional reactions happen quickly, learn how to use interoception as a way to become aware of inner body sensations that lead to related emotional behaviors.
  7. Practice befriending your emotional reactions by being curious about them and caring for them gently as if a newborn baby.
  8. Practice compassion and self-compassion when interpersonal conflicts lead you to emotional dysregulation.
  9. Do your best to STOP, pause for a moment to see if that helps.
  10. Practice RAIN skills- recognize, analyze, investigate, and realize it is not you just emotions. Thoughts and emotions may/may not be about reality. Since these steps are highly cognitive, they may bring control back into your executive brain and away from your limbic system.
  11. Practice being your own best friend. What would you suggest your best friend should do in such a situation. Again, thinking may restore frontal executive brain control.
  12. Know your limbic brain system, which overreacts almost all of the time. The best way to do this is to become more mindful about your emotional reactions. Study them!
  13. Do more meditation, yoga, and exercise! If you practice 20 minutes or more a day, you may not need the other skills above.

For more details refer to Lineman, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Press.  See also Nelson, K. October News. Retrieved 10-27-16.  Smiechowski, J. A Quick Way to Cool Heated Emotions. Easy Health Options. Retrieved 10-26-16.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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Mindful Movement as a Form of Meditation Practice

Using Mindful Movement as a Form of Meditation Practice with the Body

In Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction practices Hatha Yoga has been used as part of the recovery process from both psychological and physical suffering. In my own clinical use of mindful movement with children, youth and adults, I found that basic Qi Gong/Che Kung, MindfulHappiness_WalkingMeditation-002Walking Meditation, and Trauma-Informed Yoga proved to be very helpful in improving participants’ mood and personal motivation.  So why/how does repeated, formal sequences of body movement help people? Like general regular exercise, these mindful movement routines tend to lubricate the body (tendons, joints, etc.), improve strength (muscles), enhance resiliency (sticking with it for reinforcement), perhaps modify neurotransmitters, change breathing rate and depth, produce cognitive distraction from negative thoughts and emotions, lead to bodily stimulation and later relaxation, as well as MindfulHappiness_AnthonyQuintilianiimprove attention, mindfulness, and concentration.  There are many ways regular body movement can help us.  The Buddha’s own advice was to move the body to improve attitude and mood: sit, lay down, walk, and stand up the next time you experience unhelpful emotions to see what happens.  Today many examples of these movement meditation forms are available –  often free online, through Google, in social media, and via Apps.

One of the most interesting explanations about why yoga (body meditation) is so helpful to people has been presented by the 14th Dalai Lama ( Tenzin Gyatso along with Khonton walking-meditation_MindfulHappinessPeljor Lhundrub and Jose Ignacio Cabezon) in the book, Meditation on the Nature of Mind.  The Dalai Lama suggest that there are many ways to attain enlightenment: four ways of yoga, five paths, and ten stages of the bodhisattva.  Although he supports all means for attaining enlightenment, The Dalai Lama makes a special effort to support the “yoga of single-pointed concentration.”  Apparently this form of yoga is one of the most personally “experiential” in its application.  In the yoga of single-pointed concentration the self arises in the body (asana); there is Meditation on the Nature_0complete awareness in the present moment of the body (holding its suffering or joy) but without distraction and cognitive elaborations (thinking).  With the help of a trusted yoga teacher’s guidance, voice and sometimes corrective touch, there arises a strong calm abiding with self-compassion for what the object of meditative yoga is: the body as the personal home of  emotional suffering.  With this state of being comes equipoise and the “clear light” of experiencing your bodily experience, in the now. There is a self-arising realization in the present moment of the” you” experiencing the body as it passes through life’s joy, suffering and neutrality.

For more information refer to The 14th Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso), Khonton Peljor Lhundrup, and Jose Ignacio Cabezon (2011). Meditation on the Nature of Mind. Boston: Wisdom Publications, pp. 120-126.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

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