Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

November 4, 2016 By Admin

Strategies to Cool Your Hot Emotions

Strategies to Cool Your Hot Emotions: Using Mind and Body

First, let me note that one of the best sets of mind-body approaches to cooling down hot emotional reactions can be found in the various emotion regulation skills and practices in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (created by Marsha M. Lineman, a practicing Buddhist).  These skills may be better suited for informed therapist coolyourhotemotionsthan the lay public; however, the skills have been proven to be effective so all parties may benefit from practicing them. A less complex list includes many of the suggestions noted below.

  1. Drink lots of cold, pure water.
  2. Splash very cold water on your wrists and face (dive response).
  3. Move your body – sit if standing, and stand if sitting; walk if still, and be still if moving. Moving your body changes your internal physiology thus perhaps changing your emotional reactivity.
  4. Practice slow, deep abdominal breathing to calm down.
  5. Cry if it helps, especially if you are about to activate an aggressive action urge.
  6. Since emotional reactions happen quickly, learn how to use interoception as a way to become aware of inner body sensations that lead to related emotional behaviors.
  7. Practice befriending your emotional reactions by being curious about them and caring for them gently as if a newborn baby.
  8. Practice compassion and self-compassion when interpersonal conflicts lead you to emotional dysregulation.
  9. Do your best to STOP, pause for a moment to see if that helps.
  10. Practice RAIN skills- recognize, analyze, investigate, and realize it is not you just emotions. Thoughts and emotions may/may not be about reality. Since these steps are highly cognitive, they may bring control back into your executive brain and away from your limbic system.
  11. Practice being your own best friend. What would you suggest your best friend should do in such a situation. Again, thinking may restore frontal executive brain control.
  12. Know your limbic brain system, which overreacts almost all of the time. The best way to do this is to become more mindful about your emotional reactions. Study them!
  13. Do more meditation, yoga, and exercise! If you practice 20 minutes or more a day, you may not need the other skills above.

For more details refer to Lineman, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Press.  See also Nelson, K. October News. Retrieved 10-27-16.  Smiechowski, J. A Quick Way to Cool Heated Emotions. Easy Health Options. Retrieved 10-26-16.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, Anger, Benefits of Meditation, Body Meditation, Emotional Regulation, Featured, Meditation, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Mindfulness Training, Practices Tagged With: COOL HOT EMOTIONS, EMOTIONAL REGULATION, EXERCISES, MINDFUL

June 18, 2016 By Admin

Self-Kindness – Something to Practice!

 

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice

Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do.  It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current MINDFUL HAPPINESSrampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: pathological narcissism or self-disdain. We are lacking an intelligent “middle way.” A recent issue of Shambhala Sun  presented several approaches to improve self-compassion and self-kindness without greed or narcissism.  You may wish to visit these sites.Self-Compassion, and Center for Mindful Compassion.

Now let’s begin with a brief meditation on this important topic.

  1. Sit in a comfortable meditative posture.
  2. Begin with a few deep, slow cleansing breaths.
  3. Work at being open-minded, fearless, and present.
  4. Turn the light of the world inward to your heart area. Watch your joyful self as well as your suffering self – BUT do not get caught in the suffering past or the fearful future.  Stay present here now.
  5. As you breathe and practice this, note the sensations and emotions arising in this moment.
  6. Notice if any of your negative energies arise: negative, critical thoughts; unhappy mind; projected criticism of others, etc.  Just let it be if present. Them use impermanence and try to let it go with you mind and body.  Just do your best here.
  7. Practice kindness for yourself as you would for your significant other or a best friend.
  8.  Be in your feelings well beyond the fearful amygdala, less-than self, and false-self greatness. Let go!
  9. Be aware of the sources of joy and self-fulfillment all around you in this world. You need to notice them to use these resources.  Make images of some right now.
  10. Place your hands over your heart and allow in self-compassion.  Allow in self-kindness. Allow in self-liking.  Be personal on what these “allowings” mean to you and how you are experiencing them now.
  11. Follow Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s advice: Trust in yourself; be kind and generous to self and others; use self-compassion always!  Now just practice a little longer.

For more details refer to Shambhala Sun (November, 2015), pp. 52-63.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

MindfulHappiness_Amazon           mindful-happiness_barnes_and_noble

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Benefits of Meditation, Benefits of Mindfulness, Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Self -Kindness Tagged With: ACTIVITIES, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, EXERCISES, MEDITATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFUL TRAINING, SELF-KINDNESS

November 22, 2015 By Admin

Yoga Nidra and Your Inner Peace

Yoga Nidra and Your Inner Peace

Yogi_MindfulHappiness

Yoga Nidra will allow you to relax like you may never have relaxed before.  Follow these modified instructions for your best relaxed state.  If at any time during Yoga Nidra you feel uncomfortable, simply stop and breathe in a manner that restores equilibrium.  Although this uncomfortable outcome is highly unlikely.

  1. Before we begin, lay down on your back in a comfortable position.  Place your hands in prayer pose. Say namaste (I bow to you) to yourself silently, then outlaid a few times.
  2. Now move into corpse pose (on your back with your arms out to the sides), and notice your body-awareness. Say OM to yourself silently – say it several times. The say silently: “I am in a state of joy here.”  Then say: “I feel healthy feelings in my body here.”
  3. Beginning on your right side, place strong attention then concentration on the finger tips of your right hand.  As you place concentration there, hold an intention to find inner peace.
  4. Holding the same intention, focus concentration on your right hand. Then move to your right arm. Move up to your arm pit. Hold strong concentration and an intention to find inner peace.
  5. Move your concentration to your right hip, and slowly move down the right leg all the way to your right foot and toes.
  6. Talke a few slow, calm, deep breaths. Rest your inner peace into your heart chakra area.
  7. Now repeat the same movement of concentration on your left side – finger tips, hand, arm, arm pit, hips, down the leg all the way to your toes.
  8. Breathe and relax.  Now build concentration on the back of your body. Concentrate on the back of your head, your shoulders, your back, and your buttox.
  9. Take a few calm, slow, deep breaths. Go into your loving heart to find peace and equanimity.
  10. Now move into concentration on the front of your body. Begin with the right leg, then the left leg. Go to the right arm, then the left arm. Focus on the whole back of the body, then focus on the whole front of the body.
  11. Be one with your whole relaxed body. BE your relaxed body.
  12. If you wish add a pleasant image; use your mind and imagination and begin to hold a half-smile.
  13. Now slowly – very slowly – begin to stretch out your relaxed body.
  14. Roll over onto your side, and move into a fetal position.  REST!
  15. Now end Yoga Nidra by slowly – very slowly – moving into a sitting position. Now slowly stand up and be still.  Simply be aware of what you, your body, and your mind feel like at this moment in time and space.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

MindfulHappiness_Amazon           mindful-happiness_barnes_and_noble

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindfulness Training, Yogi Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, EXERCISES, MEDITATION, PRACTICES, YOGI NIDRA

November 4, 2014 By Admin

Compassion Practices & Benefits

Expanded Information about Your Compassion Practices and Benefits

Compassion Practice Tips and Exercises

MindfulHappiness_Compassion-InnerPeace

The Buddha noted that one should not dwell on the past, become too attached to future outcomes, but instead concentrate our mind only on the present moment of our experiences.  The Dalai Lama noted that compassion is a necessary condition for inner calmness and survival.  Pema Chodron noted that compassion is required for inner and outer peace. If you practice the skills noted below, it is highly recommended that you write briefly on a daily basis in a compassion-based journal about your growth and your journey.

Here is an expanded list of things you may notice when you make compassion practices a part of your regular, daily practice.

If you practice seriously, expect the following to occur.

1) Improved self-confidence and self-esteem, especially in dealing with others;

2) Improved quality of emotional experiences and emotional regulation;

3) Greater frequency in being your own best friend;

4) Improved interpersonal relationships and greater social engagement;

5) Reduced shame and extreme perfectionism;

6) More self-supporting focus on your strengths;

7) Greater generosity and kindness;

8) More soft-heartedness in dealing both with yourself and with others;

9) General improvements in psychological and physical well-being; and,

10) Greater ease at continuing to be more compassionate (brain plasticity related to regular, daily practice).

Here are a few ways to expand your regular practice of compassion.

1) First do a personal inventory.  Examine your life experience and note 2-3 unhelpful and 2-3 helpful life experiences/events. Now under each list pros and cons regarding your expected/experienced outcomes from both helpful and unhelpful life experiences.

Unhelpful (Unpleasant)Experiences and events –

 

a)

b)

c)

Pros:

Cons:

Helpful (Pleasant) Experiences and Events –

a)

b)

c)

Pros:

Cons:

2) Answer this question.  How have these life experiences, even the unpleasant events, helped you in your life?

 

3) If you were now coaching your best friend, what three things might you do to coach them into being more compassionate?

a)

b)

c)

4) Practice empathy for yourself and others more frequently.

5) Catch yourself being critical or negative, and stop!  Shift your thinking and feelings to improved self-understanding and non-judgment.

6) Do the same when dealing with others.

7) Notice what your internal emotional warmth feels like.  Describe it below. Work to expand it!

8) Develop and use a self-nurturing mantra. What is it?

9) Learn to pay better attention to your body and facial emotions.  When you catch them being negative or unpleasant, shift! Practice shifting to a more compassionate stance in both your body and on your face.  Look at a mirror, when you sense being negative, and when you sense being positive.

10) Periodically check the quality of your thoughts, emotions and memories.  If they are unpleasant, shift them to neutral or pleasant.  Use self-compassion and compassion for others as your energy source.

ness_Compassion-InnerPeace-02

Good luck. May you experience the benefits of compassion every day of your life.

For more information refer to Gilbert, P. (2014). Mindful Compassion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.  See also Welford, M. (2013). The Power of Self-Compassion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Self Compassion Tagged With: COMPASSION, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER, EXERCISES, MINDFUL COMPASSION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, PRACTICE, SELF COMPASSION

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Being Mindful Of  Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Recently I receive a heart-felt tribute dedicated to Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, who died recently.  The tribute originated from Louise Hay, a long-time associate, colleague and publisher of Wayne Dyer.  To those of us who inhabit the spaciousness of the spiritual world, perhaps, no other person in recent […]

Enhancing Hope in Psychotherapy The enhancement of personal hope is a key part of successful psychotherapy practice. Some view this requirement as a foundational aspect of the therapeutic alliance; others do not hold the same view.  In the case of serious co-occurring disorders, especially trauma and substance misuse, initiating, developing, and sustaining a hopeful future-view […]

Vipassana Meditation -No-Self   Journey 3 In this third vipassana meditation I will guide you on a meditation dealing with the experience of no-self.  No-self is a highly advanced experience in Buddhist meditation and wisdom practices, and it is, perhaps, one of the most misunderstood concept and experience. Along with impermanence, dependent origination, typical reality […]

Tonglen Meditation or Giving and Taking I have added various posts about many compassion practice.  Earlier posts have covered a range of practices – from super-easy to more demanding. Here, I will add a more advanced practice.  This Tibetan compassion meditation practice has been taught often in the Vajrayana school of Buddhism.  In my opinion […]

Subtle and Direct Experiences of Happiness Khenpo Sherab Zangpo’s 2017 publication The Path: A Guide to Happiness, Somerville, MA: Wisdom Publications has much to offer about how to become a happier person.  Read over the listing below and see what you may be missing. Try this mantra: “I am happy the way I am.” “I am happy […]

Breathing Practices and Emptiness Here I will introduce you to five breathing practices, each one moving progressively closer and closer to emptiness/no-self experiences. Do your best to remain open in these practices. Notice the feel of your posture. Once comfortable notice your breath as it is. Relax and close your eyes if ok. Rest your […]

“i Rest” Yoga Nidra Practice (Richard Miller, Ph.D.) All regular meditation and yoga practices are capable of bringing us closer to our true self and our relationships in the world. A by-product is deep relaxation and equanimity. Richard Miller, Ph.D. (Clinical Psychologist, yogic scholar, spiritual teacher), has created a yoga nidra practice that promises to […]

The Failed “War on Drugs” – Let’s Try Treatment On Demand and Fund It The New York based Drug Policy Alliance (drugpolicy.org) and other sources have provided some important information about our failed drug and alcohol policies. Here are a few astounding facts.  The United Stares has about 5% of the world’s population, but it […]

Core Elements in Clinical Supervision In addition to what supervisors bring into group supervision and clinical training, the list below will be used for discussion about YOUR supervisory role. The order of content below is generally random. The content noted applies to clinical supervision; it could also apply to doing effective therapy. The skills and […]

Zen Buddhist Emptiness and Christian Centering Prayer Recently Ken McLeod presented “Freedom of Choice” as a way to differentiate forms of spiritual materialism and emotional escapism from serious Buddhist practice.  He noted The Heart Sutra negations. There is no attainment for bodhisattvas as they pursue the perfection of wisdom. Ultimately, everything is empty. He refers […]

Mindfulness and Concentration –  Experience Differences In this post I will explain some basic differences between mindfulness and concentration, both of which are required for effective meditation practice.  This will be the first of three posts dealing with what mindfulness and concentration are, how to experience them briefly in a body-based activity, and how to […]

Essential Knowledge for Clinical Supervisors This post will include information and skills dealing with research on role induction practices, quality of clinical supervision, psychodynamics of alliance, and progress measurement.  Since the information and skills for all these topics is complex, I will do my best to keep it as clear as possible. This information aims […]

Advanced Buddhist Practices Abiding in Emptiness The various impediments (enemies) to abiding in emptiness are noted below. We have strong attachment to objects of mind and our sense door pleasures. We experience strong desire and cravings as our norms. We over-attach to forms of affection. We may become stuck in grief related to our experienced […]

Mind Training Over Our Impulses Mindful awareness of our impulses is a very important pathway to improved emotion regulation and, perhaps, more happiness in life. It can be unusually helpful to people suffering from anxiety, depression, and substance misuse. Vedana refers to the feeling tone in our body.  It is one of the foundations of mindfulness […]

The Nine Bow Ritual for Those You Respect Deeply The Nine Bow Ritual is a simple practice of deep respect.  Think of a person, living or not, for whom you have very strong positive feelings.  If you select a person no longer living, you may be surprised at the emotional impact of this ritual. If […]

The Needs of Traumatized Children – Learning Activity As a means to hone in on your helping behaviors, complete this learning activity. NEEDS     List a Concrete Example for Each Unmet Need. Biological  _______________________________________________ Psychological   ____________________________________________ Social  __________________________________________________ Emotional  _______________________________________________ Educational  ______________________________________________ Spiritual  ________________________________________________ Attachment  ______________________________________________ What can YOU do to help meet […]

An Advanced View on Meditations on Emptiness An earlier post on the Dalai Lama’s book, Meditations on the Nature of Mind, ended with suggested meditations (my own personal contemplation’s) about emptiness.  I will first review those contemplations.  Contemplate deeply on what emptiness means personally to you.  Contemplate about a time when you received a glimpse of personal emptiness. […]

Mindful Happiness – Brain on Meditation Reports from various MRI and self-report measure studies support the proposition that your brain changes (neuronal plasticity) when you practice meditation on a regular (daily) basis.   The same is likely true when you practice yoga on a regular basis. Here are some noted changes in brain functioning that […]

Overcoming the Hindrances of Ill-Will and Aversion Although regular daily practice and sincerely following of The Eight-Fold Path in one’s life may be the best ways to overcome various hindrances, there may be some additional practical suggestions to consider on the path.  We will begin our discussion with common human pain and suffering; we will […]

A Buddhist Sutta on Your Desires and Suffering This post is about the Buddhist Sutta called The Gilana Sutta (SN 35:74). It is a touching story about a young monk, who became very ill. Another monk informed The Buddha of the young monk’s health conditions. Buddha visited and hoped he had improved and held on to […]

Mindful Happiness Tags

JOURNALING MINDFUL DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI SELF MINDFULNESS PRACTICES WISE MIND SELF ESTEEM COVID-19 MBSR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI HAPPINESS MINDFUL MEDITATION PRACTICE SUFFERING COMPASSION SELF CARE ENLIGHTENMENT ACTIVITY SELF MEDICATION MEDITATION PRACTICE MINDFULNESS TRAINING SELF COMPASSION VIPASSANA MEDITATION TRAUMA MINDFUL TRAINING CONSCIOUSNESS PSYCHOTHERAPY EMPTINESS CLINICAL SUPERVISION ADDICTION EXERCISES BRAIN ACTIVITIES TRAINING VERMONT ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER VIPASSANA BUDDHISM WALKING MEDITATION MINDFUL HAPPINESS THICH NHAT HANH BREATHING THERAPY. MEDITATION

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2022 · Mindful Happiness