Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

June 30, 2019 By Admin

Equanimity, Suffering, and Resilience

Equanimity, Suffering, and Resilience

It is said that equanimity (Pali – upekkha), the seventh factor of enlightenment and the tenth perfection, is an end-product of life-long personal practice in meditation and/or meditative yoga. It is about “walking the walk.” Some practitioners note that equanimity is the foundation for other helpful states of mind and body. It builds on loving kindness, compassion, generosity and other positive human traits and behaviors. It is called an anchor, an anchor that protects us from the random ups and downs of samsaric life. Equanimity helps us to “see” more clearly, thus enabling us to respond to challenging causes and conditions without reactive emotional dysregulation. Ultimately, being in longer periods of equanimity also frees our minds, hearts, and souls from afflictive emotions and experiences. We may learn to handle pain, blame, and loss in a more balanced manner, and we may learn not to attach too strongly to pleasure, praise, and personal benefits.  Yes, it is a strong sign of a mature person in a matter practice; it signifies emotional and spiritual maturity.  It is the best “Way.”

Today our nation and the world appear to be in a chaotic downward spiral, with so many serious problem to solve and so few minds working together to solve them. In some ways the end product of this turmoil, fear, and hatred becomes another form of deep human loss – very significant loss. I suggest that to be in your best possible position to take on the losses we face, we need to become experts in pursuing mindful Right Action. To do so, we must be regular practitioners of mindfulness – mindfulness in its more structured forms. We must live it! This process includes our own self-care: regular meditation and/or yoga, exercise, healthy diet, healthy sleep, and healthy relationships. With the skills and strengths that come from such a regimen of self-care, we are better prepared to adapt, cope, and respond well to emotionally challenging causes, conditions, and situations.  Be strong in your contemplative mindfulness; find and use your personal inner strengths; and, follow your deep values as well as personal aspirations. Remain active in your pursuit of equanimity, emotional stability, resilience, and become a much happier person. Part of this process of renewal is to give generously to others. Try not to forget this fact.

It is up to you! Stay the same, or become healthier and happier. One wonderful way to do these great things is to practice mindfulness on a regular basis – any form of mindfulness – meditation, yoga, qigong, tai chi, forest bathing with walking meditation, etc. In their new book, C. Feldman and W. Kuyken remind us that mindfulness practice brings us confluence and convergence with all worldly experiences. Mindfulness is a way of life, a way to experience being in all its pleasant, neutral, and unpleasant realities. Their work integrates fully modern clinical psychology and the ancient wisdom of Buddhist psychology. The process echoes The Four Noble Truths: What causes human suffering? Is there a way to end human suffering? What role does mindfulness, especially meditation play in this process? What makes up the path to transformation from suffering to happiness?

I hope these words are helpful to you, and that you actively pursue  equanimity for yourself. Review The Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path to begin your journey to transformation.

For more information refer to Feldman, C. and Kuyken, W. (2019). Mindfulness: Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Psychology. New York: Guilford Publications.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Buddhism, Compassion, Eight-Fold Path, Emotions, Featured, Happiness, Meditation, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Resilience, Suffering Tagged With: EQUANIMITY, RESILIENCE, SUFFERING

April 4, 2015 By Admin

Practical Actions for Overcoming Anger

Overcoming the Hindrances of Ill-Will and Aversion

Although regular daily practice and sincerely following of The Eight-Fold Path in one’s life may be the best ways to overcome various mindful-happiness-eightfold-pathhindrances, there may be some additional practical suggestions to consider on the path.  We will begin our discussion with common human pain and suffering; we will end the post with skills for dealing more effectively with anger.  When we experience suffering in conditions that include other people as causes, we may project our painful experience as anger against them.   Blame is the great triangle of hopelessness; if we can blame another person for our suffering, we disavow any need to change our own behaviors (thoughts, words, and actions). Causes of pain lead to pain, but pain does not always need to lead to personal suffering.

Human Pain and Suffering:

We humans are here on earth for many reasons.  However, no matter what container you place your experiences into, the experiences tend to fall into three general categories: neutrality/boredom, joy/happiness, and pain/suffering.  The next time you experience serious pain and suffering, try talking TO it.  If you like “self-talk” better as a description of this process that is fine.  Here are some things you could say to yourself.

1) “Pain is inevitable, but suffering does not always have to follow.”

2) “Neither pain nor suffering are new to me.  I have experienced them in the past, and I realize they are impermanent.”

3) “To better understand my pain and suffering I need to pay close attention to them. It is MY pain and suffering”

4) “Is it possible that I may be responsible for some of the suffering if not the pain?”

5) “Do I understand the causes of my pain and suffering?  Do I understand that I need to treat it gently with love? It is part of me right now.”

6) ” I may need to learn better patience in dealing with my own pain and suffering. These conditions will pass in time.”

7) “What wise-mind skills can I use to prevent the prolongation of my suffering into secondary suffering?”

mindfulhappiness_Mindfulness

When Pain and Suffering Lead to Anger:

When we see other people as the causes of our pain and suffering, anger may follow.  In making contact with your anger (in thoughts, words, sensations, emotions, and actions), it is wise to utilize vipassana methods to recognize the first conscious arisings of it.  If you can connect with the earliest arising before it blooms into unhelpful thoughts, words or actions, you may be in a better position to alter this destructive emotion.  See the suggestions noted below.  These are practical things to practice every time you become angry. These approaches assume you have enough mindfulness abilities to use awareness with self-calming to counteract emotional dysregulation.

1) Immediately STOP the impulsivity of the anger.  Curtail it in the first instance of recognizing it.

2) Loosen your jaw, and breathe deeply and calmly as you count your breaths up to twenty.

3) Work very hard to shift your thoughts to more wholesome or compassionate intentions.

4) Recognize impermanence and wait patiently until your impulsive anger has calmed.

5) Stop blaming other people for your emotional condition.  Even if another person does something unkind to you, you are in charge of your emotional responses to their actions.  Pain will exist in life, but suffering is not an absolute consequence from it.

6) Say a loving kindness sentence to yourself: may I be peaceful; may I be at ease; May I be safe.  You may have to shift to: may she/he be peaceful; may she/he be at ease; may she/he be safe.  If in a dyad, wishing good for both of you may help.

7) Focus on gratitude – note anything you possess gratitude for.

8) If appropriate, view the other person as interconnected with you.  It may help to view them as one of your parents. If a parent is loving, would you want to harm her/him?

For more information refer to Gunaratana, B. H. (2009). Beyond Mindfulness in Plain English: An Introductory Guide to Deeper States of Meditation. Boston, MA.: Wisdom Publications, pp. 69-84.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Filed Under: Anger, Eight-Fold Path, Featured, Pain, Practices, Suffering, Training Tagged With: ANGER, AVERSION, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, EIGHT-FOLD PATH, ILL WILL, PAIN AND SUFFERING

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Psychoanalytic Gems – Even More D. W. Winnicott has made significant clinical contributions to both building therapeutic alliance and maintaining a positive, helpful focus in psychotherapy. Below I have noted various approaches to use in your therapy.  Use of these “gems” requires considerable knowledge and skill by the therapist.  Here is the list: Respect the […]

Expanded Information about Your Compassion Practices and Benefits Compassion Practice Tips and Exercises The Buddha noted that one should not dwell on the past, become too attached to future outcomes, but instead concentrate our mind only on the present moment of our experiences.  The Dalai Lama noted that compassion is a necessary condition for inner […]

Drink a Cup of Tea with Thich Nhat Hanh According to the article “A Perfect Cup of Tea” by Noa Jones, The Great Meditation Master offers this sage advice about the best way to enjoy a great cup of tea. I suppose if you would rather drink coffee, the same suggestions may apply. Recognize that […]

Mindful Movement as Part of Practice Mindful movement is an accepted part of regular practice. Such practices as walking meditation, more vigorous yoga asanas, qi gong, and tail chi are all part of this respected mindfulness tradition. Here I will introduce you to a very simple pre-meditation movement sequence.  Hope you practice it very soon. […]

Advanced Practice in Tara Brach’s RAIN Protocol So often we humans find ourselves in a state of limbic disarray, with ego defenses stimulating our need to protect ourselves from others – even from ourselves. We feel something is very wrong in this moment, and we allow separateness to pull us into a frenzied effort to […]

“The Other Shore” to Happiness and Enlightenment Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, The Other Shore: A New Translation of The Heart Sutra…Berkeley, CA: Palm Leaves Press brings us on an inner journey toward a happier, more peaceful and enlightened life. Wisdom implies that we understand that life is made up of mental formations, no-self (more clarifications later), […]

Self-Help in Mind-Body Medicine In this brief post we will review several specific ways that may improve your psychological and physical health. The post will be short, sweet, and simple to encourage participation. Here it is. Affirmation – “I am learning to love myself just the way I am.” Repeat this mantra sub vocally over […]

Liberation of the True Self Socrates is reported to have noted that “the secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new.” In Buddhism there are clear relationships between “no-self” and the force of impermanence, that reality that ensures constant change and thus personal […]

Mindfulness Practices for Expanding Acceptance Mindfulness and contemplation can be great allies in our struggle to better understand each other.  This is especially true when it comes to matters of interpersonal relationships and highly significant relationships.  It is also important in diversity, or as some now refer to it – variation in human beings.   Variation may […]

In-Depth Means to Discover and Be Your True Self Henry David Thoreau reminded us that it is not what you look at, but it is what you see that matters. How do you SEE yourself?  John Muir reminded us that the sun shines in us as well as in our souls. Do you find “the […]

My third posting on self-medication- Comes from the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont. Now we will turn our attention to how people become habituated to self-medication to obtain brief moments of joy and/or to avoid emotional suffering.  Recall that self-medication becomes a habit (dopamine released in reward centers of the […]

How to Offer Personal Tribute to Those Who Have Died The Four Noble Truths tell us sobering news. There is suffering, and impermanence of all things including us and our loved ones. Below I have listed several thing you can do to HONOR a person you have lost.  Here is the list. Recall a special […]

Quasi Self-Hypnotic Pain Relief To be successful in this intervention you will have to let go of ego-based defensiveness and remain quite focused for quite some time. These are not easy things to do. DO NOT do this intervention if you are feeling highly vulnerable at this time, or if you are not working with […]

Self-Help Journaling – Two Methods Generally there are two forms of self-help journaling: writing about worries and concerns OR writing about joy and happiness. In my more than 35 years of clinical experience I have not found the former to be very helpful. Most people stuck in negative mood states are not easily able to […]

Equanimity, Suffering, and Resilience It is said that equanimity (Pali – upekkha), the seventh factor of enlightenment and the tenth perfection, is an end-product of life-long personal practice in meditation and/or meditative yoga. It is about “walking the walk.” Some practitioners note that equanimity is the foundation for other helpful states of mind and body. […]

A Dark Night with Saint John of the Cross The writings of Saint John of the Cross offer a special viewpoint about the suffering of souls, suffering souls on their way to unity with the divine.  What follows stands in contrast to the Buddha’s views in The Dhammapada about ultimate happiness without any form of union […]

Forgiveness Meditation Practice – Mindful Happiness – Dr Anthony Quintiliani Sit comfortably in a meditation posture. Allow your breath to remain natural without any intentional modification.  Allow your body to relax, and allow your mind to be open to and to expect forgiveness.  Focus attention on your heart area deep within your soul, and allow […]

A Radical Feminist in her Time Over 800 years ago Hildegard of Bingen presented radical viewpoints on women-power and male-dominance in the Christian Church, stone/gem healing, meditation, insight and intellect, the web of life or planetary oneness, being in nature, environmentalism, and personal stories of suffering, etc.  Despite her outspoken manner and her popularity among […]

Vipassana for Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, and Addictions The integration of Vipassana meditation with various forms of therapy has for many years been a standard of treatment worldwide and in Vermont, especially when impulse control and emotion regulations issues are included.  Buddhist Psychology offers clear explanations why this intervention may be helpful for so many suffering […]

Human Needs and Spiritual Experience and the Need for Supportive Rituals From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont Recently the Human Givens Blog in the United Kingdom presented a post about human needs.  I will paraphrase their information as well as information from other sources for Mindful Happiness.  Having such […]

Mindful Happiness Tags

MINDFUL TRAINING ACTIVITIES PRACTICE HAPPINESS EMPTINESS THERAPY. VERMONT MINDFUL HAPPINESS VIPASSANA ACTIVITY EXERCISES COVID-19 THICH NHAT HANH BUDDHISM SELF ESTEEM CLINICAL SUPERVISION MEDITATION BRAIN MINDFUL MEDITATION VIPASSANA MEDITATION ANTHONY QUINTILIANI ADDICTION ENLIGHTENMENT SELF MEDICATION CONSCIOUSNESS MBSR TRAINING SELF CARE MINDFULNESS SUFFERING MINDFUL PRACTICES WALKING MEDITATION DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI WISE MIND ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER JOURNALING MEDITATION PRACTICE MINDFULNESS TRAINING COMPASSION SELF TRAUMA SELF COMPASSION BREATHING PSYCHOTHERAPY

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2022 · Mindful Happiness