Love and Kindness Archives - Mindful Happiness

June 21, 2019 By Admin

Loving Kindness – An Alternative Version

The writings of Thich Nhat Hanh offer a different version of Loving Kindness Meditation or Metta (Pali). This version may be influenced by Buddhaghosa in Visuddhimagga (or The Path to Purification, fifth century system of The Buddha’s teachings). The reality of no-self, or a static, permanent and inherent self is a core teaching of Buddhism; however, humans do experience life in Samsara via their perceived self – the experiencer of events and circumstances. Sensory awareness and mental formation make our realities. It is important to know yourself well, thus it is important to go deeper and deeper into the sources of your self-experiences. Negative emotions and feelings cause great suffering; fears and internal turmoil prevent happiness. To move beyond suffering, we need to understand and experience self-compassion and self-love. Our best hope may be the regular practice of Loving Kindness Meditation, especially if we are able to feel (interoception) the words as they transform inner body feelings and mind-thoughts. Here is a version of loving kindness. Try it. I have made several of my own adjustments in wording.

May I be free from suffering, aversion, and emotional conflict.

May I be mindful of peace and affection.

May I experience the inner light of my soul and feel safe.

May I learn from the loving spirit of myself.

May I be free from all afflictions, including greed, craving, fear, anger, and negative moods.

May I practice freeing myself from the skandhas of form (body), feelings, perception, mental formations, and consciousness.

May I learn to be at peace in impermanence when such things arise.

May I liberate myself from the suffering of my own “second arrows.”

May I allow myself the inner joy of silence.

May I accept and love myself.

May I be happy.

For more information refer to Thich Nhat Hanh (2014). No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering. Parallax Press.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

September 30, 2017 By Admin

The “I AM THAT” Meditation

Elena Brower’s new book, Practice You: A Journal (Sounds True, 2017) has many thoughtful suggestions on how to connect with the true inner self, and – more importantly – how to improve your self-views and the experience of your deep inner self. Below I have modified her presentation of the “I Am Exploration” meditation. My modifications bring in very subtle Vedanta and cognitive-behavioral implications. This is a quick, useful, and relatively easy meditation to practice. Here are the modified instructions.

Sit in a comfortable meditation posture and add a hand mudra of your choice.
Become as grounded as possible, and begin to breathe slow, deep, rhythmic breaths.
Continue to deepen and slow your breathing, and be inside your present moment body.
Be your slow, deep breath. Decide if you wish your eyes to be opened or closed.
Now contemplate how you view yourself. Do so in a general manner for now.
Decide on a few key words and images that you feel define you – the “I Am” part of you.
Decide what your current attitude is about who/what you are.
Are you satisfied? Are you content? Are you happy? Are you overly anxious or depressed?
Regarding who you are now and what you wish to become, what is your most powerful emotional need right now?
Contemplate meeting this emotional need. What have you noticed about your inner peace and wisdom?
Now deeply meditate on how you will make one change that brings you closer emotionally to your most pressing emotional need. What do you need to do? When will you do it? Who will help you?
Notice any insights and body-based sensations that have come up during this process.
Sit quietly for a moment before ending this meditation. Contemplate the implications.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

The Lotus Sutra and Meditatin Practice The Lotus Sutra is one of the most important and sacred of Buddhist sutras. It is often considered a summary of The Buddha’s teaching, presented many years after he began to teach and share his experiences. The version considered here is the Kumarajiva translation, as translated by B. Watson; it […]

In-Depth Means to Discover and Be Your True Self Henry David Thoreau reminded us that it is not what you look at, but it is what you see that matters. How do you SEE yourself? John Muir reminded us that the sun shines in us as well as in our souls. Do you find “the […]

How Suicide impacts Psychotherapists One of the greatest fears of psychotherapists is that one of their clients will commit suicide. Here are some common reactions of psychotherapists when one of their clients commits suicide. In some ways these reactions are sequential, but no exact concrete sequence is well documented. Here is a list to consider. […]

Cognitive Defusion in Mindfulness Psychotherapy A well-meaning therapist might ask: What is cognitive defusion. Well this practice, as used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is beyond cognitive restructuring of cognitive distortions and automatic negative thoughts ( I call “Red Ants”). The practice concretely de-literalizes the personal truth and meaning of unhelpful, repetitive thoughts and words. […]

Vipassana Meditation – Emptiness One of the great insights from regular, long-term vipassana practice is the experience of emptiness. The actual knowing of it by the experience of it. This is not your typical conceptual emptiness of the West; it is not total void, negative beings, or nihilistic pit, or suffering in endlessness. It is […]

Mindful Movement as Part of Practice Mindful movement is an accepted part of regular practice. Such practices as walking meditation, more vigorous yoga asanas, qi gong, and tail chi are all part of this respected mindfulness tradition. Here I will introduce you to a very simple pre-meditation movement sequence. Hope you practice it very soon. […]

Advanced Practice in Tara Brach’s RAIN Protocol So often we humans find ourselves in a state of limbic disarray, with ego defenses stimulating our need to protect ourselves from others – even from ourselves. We feel something is very wrong in this moment, and we allow separateness to pull us into a frenzied effort to […]

Meditation Guide to Getting Started Since just sitting in basic (mindfulness or vipassana) meditation is such an important practice on your way to emotional regulation – and possibly and eventually to Enlightenment – I decided to offer a quick review of this skilled practice. Practice every day! 1) Sit comfortably with your back softly errect […]

Equanimity, Suffering, and Resilience It is said that equanimity (Pali – upekkha), the seventh factor of enlightenment and the tenth perfection, is an end-product of life-long personal practice in meditation and/or meditative yoga. It is about “walking the walk.” Some practitioners note that equanimity is the foundation for other helpful states of mind and body. […]

Psychoanalytic Gems – Even More D. W. Winnicott has made significant clinical contributions to both building therapeutic alliance and maintaining a positive, helpful focus in psychotherapy. Below I have noted various approaches to use in your therapy. Use of these “gems” requires considerable knowledge and skill by the therapist. Here is the list: Respect the […]

Trauma Informed Care – Avoidance Process Although more and more clinicians are learning about and using principles/practices of Trauma Informed Care, too few understand the behavioral dynamics of negative reinforcement in the avoidance of trauma-related cues (people, places, things, internal sensations, emotions and images). This post will give a very brief description of negative reinforcement […]

Improving Your Self-Esteem – An Action Contemplation The UCLA Higher Education Research Institute’s surveys and V. Mamgain’s ideas about neoclassical economics of happiness help provide a means to deconstruct improved learning in higher education and also personal happiness in the process. According to the UCLA research surveys, higher education students want more spirituality and personal […]

Making the Best of the Holidays Thanks to Sounds True, we have many good suggestions for making the most of the holidays. It is a norm for the holidays to be happy and joyous, and it is a norm for many people for the holidays to be filled with emotional and behavioral challenges. To reduce […]

Amitabha Buddha – Pure Land Meditation The following meditation had been modified by me to make it a more specific self-healing meditation and to better fit the time we now live in. Sit quietly and complete 3-4 deep, calming breaths. Pay attention to the quality and density of the light you see outside of your […]

Poem on the Wind I am quite pleased with my experience on BEING in the wind today. This poem will suggest that you allow the wind to be a metaphor – even a fantasy – that allows your pain and suffering to be swept away by the endless, gentle, blowing wind of nature. We […]

Pathways for Coping with Loss and Grief Jeanne Cacciatore, a Zen priest and bereavement specialist, offer sound advice on the process of loss and grieving. In her book, Bearing the Unbearable: Love and the Heart Breaking Path of Grief (2016), she presents the process as a series of contractions and expansions; contractions are the inward path of […]

Meditation for Health Improvement It is estimated that between 10 and 15 million Americans participate in some form of regular mindfulness or contemplative practices; secular-based meditation and yoga may be the most common of these practices. Many others practice tai chi, qi gong, forest-based contemplation, Taoism, etc. The US National Institute of Health has been […]

Meditation for Managers and Helpers Let’s Talk – Contact Me – Click Here I am a Licensed Psychologist-Doctorate and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor with 35 years of clinical experience in community clinics, schools, professional organizations, and universities (OSU, UVM, etc.). I have been the past Clinical Director of Howard Center, and Past President […]

Intervention Skills to Calm Your Anxiety It is estimated that approximately 40,000,000 American suffer from an anxiety disorders, especially generalize anxiety and panic disorder. Sometimes general “talk therapy” fails to help improve your condition; you may need cognitive-behavioral therapy with research-based mindfulness skills or dialectical behavior therapy. CBT, MBSR, ACT and DBT are the evidence-based, […]