Pema Chodron Archives - Mindful Happiness

October 10, 2019 By Admin

The Deep Courage to Let Go

Pema Chodron, now recognized as a world leader in the Chogyam Trungpa Shambhala tradition, has presented a wonderfully clear method for letting go of personal blockages and impediments to enlightenment, the bodhisattva way of life, and awakened bodhichitta (clear mind, soft heart). She teaches us how in “The Joy of Letting Go.” It is similar to accepting “choiceness awareness” in one’s own life experiences. Chodron suggests that we radically accept whatever arises in our path in life as our opportunity to practice. Our job is to reduce the suffering of the world – one person at one time. This practice may be achieved through the Paramitas. The practice of being patient, disciplined, generous, energetic – all in meditation and life behaviors – sets the stage for our inner and outer growth. As we practice greater compassion, we care more deeply about the welfare of others. This can be an antidote to the pandemic of greed in America (and the world) today. So much greed that we may inflict great pain and suffering on others. How much wealth is enough?

One way to experience this process is to be highly generous as a personal life aspiration. By giving to others we will notice the inner emotional reactions in letting go of things we value. This implies letting go not only of the “things” but also of the attachment to the things we value. Our wholesome actions in giving allow us to experience first-hand the reality of holding on. Just how difficult is it for you to let go, give away that thing you value so much? Our improving discipline in practices tames the wild mind and expands open-hearted compassion for others, especially others who lack what we have. This awareness enhances personal gratitude for it all. We humans sometimes “own” many things; sometimes this property restricts own flexibility in life. It certainly adds fear of loss. It increases our level and intensity of grasping and competing. If you go hiking while carrying an armful of firewood, you will soon realize it is very inefficient. So to go through life with a household of “stuff” is a logical understanding of this hiking metaphor. It is in the giving away, the letting go, that true and personal liberation is experienced.

Taming our reactive minds and bodies is another important practice in letting go. Can we really be “like a log of wood” (influence of Shantideva and others) when emotionally powerful experiences occur? This does not imply suppression, repression, or being a doormat; it implies building better emotion regulation skills through practice. Slow it all down, clarify your discernment, and allow enthusiasm for making such positive personal changes. It is all up to you.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

December 3, 2016 By Admin 835 Comments

Gratitude Along with Sadness and Fear – It Is life

Gratitude Along with Sadness and Fear – It Is Life

The famous Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh gently advises us to appreciate the many things that we may take for granted. For example, when he does walking meditation he believes and feels that the the earth below his feet is, itself, a miracle of reality. Yes, he advises us to more deeply appreciate the earth and all it does for us. For Thanksgiving Day he suggested that we smile at the entire universe for supporting our existence; the food we have eaten comes from the interbeing of many forces: earth, sunshine, rain, seeds, and the people who farmed and transported it. Hopefully we all practiced mindful, appreciative eating
on this holiday. Hopefully, we all practiced some form of gratitude. And hopefully, we did not forget those who are less able to eat a good meal on such a day. Hopefully, we reached out with gratitude, compassion, and generosity to those less fortunate than ourselves. This is the kindness of people. This is a special form of joy.

Pema Chodron, another very famous Buddhist teacher, advises us to have an open, kind heart. Even if we cannot locate it exactly, we can “feel” the inner tenderness of our soft-heartedness. Perhaps under that inner tenderness we shall also discover a special kind of human sadness, a sadness that feels as natural as it does uncomfortable. She notes that such a sadness is an inherent, natural sadness that humans experience. Perhaps it is part of our long genetic history; perhaps it is an outcome of daily witnessing (via media) the suffering of so many people; and, perhaps it is an outcome of our own personal suffering. Human do have ample supplies of
emotional pain. All people suffer; all people experience joy; and, all people experience times of neutral boredom. This is theWAY it is. This is part of our human tenderness in life. So have the courage to feel your tenderness and joy as well as your suffering.

Gyalwang Drukpa of Tibetan Buddhist fame, suggests that we can utilize active compassion to combat fear of differences, fear of others. Humans have common experiences; some of these experiences include uncertainty and fear. Usually there is greater personal fear when we confront diversity – people, places and things different than ourselves. These reactions often come in times of great inequalities in human experience. He notes that fear thrives on concerns about differences. It can become the basis for hateful aggression. To bring peace to our fears we need to embrace such differences through highly active compassionate behaviors. If we can celebrate human differences, and if we can welcome them with deep awareness and curiosity, we combat fear. Tolerance and acceptance of others is the higher way of life. Can we do it? It requires compassionate action!https://www.amazon.com/How-Train-Wild-Elephant-Mindfulness/dp/1590308174

For more information refer to Chosen Bays, J. How to Train a Wild Elephant... p.143 . Also refer to Thich Nhat Hanh. How to Live… Chodron, P. The Pocket Pema Chodron, pp. 39-40 ,and the August 2016 presentation given by His Holiness Gyalwang Drukpa at the Bucerius Summer School on Global Governance.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition in Production…Coming soon!

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