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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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December 3, 2016 By Admin

Gratitude Along with Sadness and Fear – It Is life

Gratitude Along with Sadness and Fear – It Is Life

The famous Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh gently advises us to appreciate the many things that we may take for granted.  For example, when he does walking meditation he believes and feels that the the earth below his feet is, itself, a miracle of reality. Yes, he advises us to more deeply appreciate the earth and all it does for us. For Thanksgiving Day he suggested that we smile at the entire universethichnhathanh_mindfulhappiness for supporting our existence; the food we have eaten comes from the interbeing of many forces: earth, sunshine, rain, seeds, and the people who farmed and transported it. Hopefully we all practiced mindful, appreciative eating
on this holiday. Hopefully, we all practiced some form of gratitude. And hopefully, we did not forget those who are less able to eat a good meal on such a day.  Hopefully, we reached out with gratitude, compassion, and generosity to those less fortunate than ourselves. This is the kindness of people. This is a special form of joy.

Pema Chodron, another very famous Buddhist teacher, advises us to have an open, kind heart. Even if we cannot locate it exactly, we can “feel” the inner tenderness of our soft-heartedness. Perhaps under that inner tenderness we shall also discover a special kind of human sadness, a sadness that feels as natural as it does uncomfortable. She notes that such a sadness is an pemachodron_mindfulhappinessinherent, natural sadness that humans experience. Perhaps it is part of our long genetic history; perhaps it is an outcome of daily witnessing (via media) the suffering of so many people; and, perhaps it is an outcome of our own personal suffering. Human do have ample supplies of
emotional pain.  All people suffer; all people experience joy; and, all people experience times of neutral boredom. This is theWAY it is. This is part of our human tenderness in life. So have the courage to feel your tenderness and joy as well as your suffering.

Gyalwang Drukpa of Tibetan Buddhist fame, suggests that we can utilize active compassion to combat fear of differences, fear of others. Humans have common experiences; some of these experiences include uncertainty and fear. Usually there is greater personal fear when we confront diversity – people, places and things different than ourselves. These reactions often come in times of great inequalities in human experience. He notes that fear thrives on concerns about differences. It can become the basis for hateful aggression. To bring peace to our fears we need to embrace such differences through highly active compassionate behaviors. If we can celebrate human differences, and if we can welcome them with deep awareness and curiosity, we combat fear. Tolerance and acceptance of others is the higher way of life.  Can we do it? It requires compassionate action!https://www.amazon.com/How-Train-Wild-Elephant-Mindfulness/dp/1590308174

For more information refer to Chosen Bays, J. How to Train a Wild Elephant... p.143 .  Also refer to Thich Nhat Hanh. How to Live… Chodron, P. The Pocket Pema Chodron, pp. 39-40 ,and the August 2016 presentation given by His Holiness Gyalwang Drukpa at the Bucerius Summer School on Global Governance.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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Filed Under: Featured, Gratitude Meditation, Gyalwang Drukpa, Pema Chodron, Suffering, Thich Nhat Hanh Tagged With: GRATITUDE, GYALWANG DRUKPA, MINDFUL NHAPPINESS, PEMA CHODRON, THICH NHAT HANH

May 2, 2016 By Admin

Personal Gratitude Practices – With Sage Advice

Gratitude Practices to Improve your Emotional Mood

The following fourteen suggestions may improve your emotional mood.  One reward from practicing gratitude is that we tend to feel a little better no matter what our causes and conditions are at the time.  mindfulhappiness_GetHappy

Here is the list.

  1. Make a habit of thanking people.  “Thank you.” Appreciate what others have done and still do for you.
  2. Get into the habit of writing brief daily entries in your personal gratitude or happiness journal.  Write about anything that you experienced joy of gratitude for – no matter how small.
  3. When you get trapped into a negative thinking drift, STOP and take a moment to consider at least one thing you have gratitude for right now in your life.
  4. Practice downward comparison by comparing yourself and WHAT you have to other people who DO NOT have what you have.  Have compassion and appreciate the reality of the differences.
  5. Follow Maya Angelou’s advice: When you learn something new and helpful, teach it to others. When you receive something helpful, share it with others.
  6. If you are suffering now, consider joining up with others who may be suffering in similar ways – provide social and emotional support to each other, and have gratitude for the people you are with right now.
  7. Stop once or twice a day give give yourself a check-up.  So, how am I doing right now?  If you are doing well, carry on. If not, do something quick and safe that will improve the emotional quality of the present moment.
  8. Practice Japanese Naikan reflection.  At the very end of your day ask: What have I received today? What have I given today? What harm have I done today?  If you have caused harm, make amends for it.
  9. Volunteer a small amount of your time each month. Volunteer so you can help improve the quality of life for other people.  Consider this an act of kindness, and feel the inner gratitude in that you are able to make such a gift of time and compassion to others.
  10. Invite a small group of friends over to your home; sit in a circle, and share anything each of you have gratitude for.
  11. Consider practicing loving kindness meditation as your primary self-care habit.
  12. Do what Lee Brower (of Empowered Wealth) does.  Give people a gratitude stone or bead to keep in their pocket.  Encourage them to stop and note their gratitude for something (no matter how small) every time they touch it or become aware of it.   Make a habit of searching for “good” gratitude stones to give away.
  13. Do brief periods of walking meditation in nature.  Notice! Listen! See! Allow the wonders of natural environments to provide you with cues for gratitude.
  14. Follow the sage advice of the following people:

 a)  Elie Wiesel noted that a person can be defined by her/his attitude toward gratitude.

 b)  Julian of Norwich noted that all will be well, and to become aware of our rising we need to become aware of our falling.  Grace can transform personal failures into abundant, endless comfort.

 c)  Eric Hoffer noted that for humans the most difficult math to do is to count our blessings.

 d)  Melodie Beattie noted that the practice of gratitude can bring peace into our day.

 e)  Albert Schweitzer noted that when you feel all hope is lost, remember one small thing to be grateful for.

For more information refer to Lesowitz, N. and Sammons, M. B. (2009). Living Life as a Thank You: The Transformative Power of Daily Gratitude. New York, NY: Bristol Park Books; Aronson, B. C. (2006). Grace: Quotes and Passages for the Heart, Mind, and Soul.  New York, NY: Random House.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Emotional Regulation, Featured, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness Tagged With: EMOTIONAL MOOD, GRATITUDE, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, PRACTICES

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