Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

June 30, 2015 By Admin

Stop Getting Hooked on Worry

Our Brains React to Worry

According to research by The American Psychological Association in 2015, some of the core sources of severe stress reaction for Americans are: financial problems, job-related problems, family problems, and health problems.  Our lives are complete only with joy/happiness, suffering and boredom – sometimes referred to as pleasant, unpleasant and neutral experiences.  Our brains have evolved to react – to worry!  Humans tend to mindful-happiness_woryworry about the worse-case scenarios. Over time, and mainly due to brain plasticity, we become highly sensitive to stimuli that may trigger limbic reactions – obsessive worrying in the executive brain area being one. Although worry itself is quite cognitive (prefrontal and frontal), the causes for this effect gains power in limbic regions of the brain – our reactive emotional survival center.  The real problem, however, is that there are real problems and worry about problems or worsening problems.  The ONLY time worry can be helpful is when it leads to some solution regarding the causes of the problem, the causes of worry.  Usually worrying is a form of secondary suffering; a real problems exists that you cannot resolve (primary suffering), and you have fears and concerns, so you move into the secondary suffering of chronic worry.  As the Buddha noted, thoughts lead to words, which may be moved by feelings into action.  The only action worthy of our effort is action that helps to minimize or solve the problem.  The most common unhelpful results of worry tend to be increased efforts to deny, suppress, avoid, flee or get hooked (Pema Chodron) on the worry. To assist you with the problem of worry as a form of hooked “stuckness,” I will note a series of behaviors that may be helpful. These suggestion come from thinkers as old as Shantideva and as current as Pema Chodron.  Here is the list. Practice every day to enhance your resilience.

1) Use what the Buddha implied are your the “best friends.”  When worrying, change your body posture and status often: sitting, lying, standing, and moving (exercise and walking). Today we believe that different body postures may change neurophysiology, thus mood.

2) Other “friends” include skills in breathing practices (meditative and yogic traditions), as well as smiling more (Thich Nhat Hanh).  Sometimes simply breathing in a calm, deep, slow fashion may improve your emotional status.  You may need to breathe in this manner for 15 to 20 minutes.

3) You may even want to practice smiling at your fear (Chogyam Trungpa).  Today we know that facial emotions impact emotional awareness in the brain, so try this.

4) Of course daily meditation and/or yoga will always be helpful.

5) Stop and distract yourself from the storyline about your worries; then apply radical acceptance for a problem you may have very little control over.

6) Apply self-compassion!  You care about the nature of or person in the problem; this is why you are worrying.  However, when you have little power to alter the problem, you must remain gentle with yourself and your inner speech.

7) Talk with other people you trust.  Use people who care about you to help support you in the problem and in your practices to reduce being hooked in it.

8) Use your ancestors (First Nation practice).  Imagine that ancestors (many you have never known) are lining up behind you to help you with this problem and the worry it produces.  Imagine the ancestors you do know lined up behind you with each person placing their helping hands on the back shoulders of the ancestor in front of them. See the caring face of special ancestors you have known.  Be in meditation with this image and its emotional supports.  Feel them!

9) Remember the wisdom of the Dharma.  Thoughts, lead to words, which are emoted into actions (like worrying).  Try to intervene in any of the four domains of ultimate action. Distraction may help with thoughts. Consciously make the words less sever, less scary may help.  Work on calming your feelings and their emotional suffering.  Do opposite action (Marsha Lineman); when an action urge comes into awareness (i.e., to worry), do something different or opposite if possible.

10) Take Indian scholar Shantideva’s advice in his writing: “be like a log” (as translation).  Work at being steady, strong, kind-hearted as you respond to a problem that causes you to worry.  Do your best to be in a calm and steady state without reacting into the worrying mode of being. Hold strong compassion for the person in the problem.

11) Practice honest forgiveness for the person and actions that cause you to worry.

12) Practice LETTING GO of the thoughts and urges related to your worrying.  Be aware of your habitual tendencies , and put your mind in another place, on another topic.

13) Join a group that may be supportive. Consider Emotions Anonymous, AA (if applicable) or Al-Anon.  Go to meetings with open-mindedness.

14) Last, but perhaps most important, teach yourself the Dharma (Shantideva, Pema Chodron and many others).  When you begin to get hooked on worry, stop and READ the Dharma.  Teach yourself the meaning of the Dharma.

Mindful-Happiness_brain-plasticity

May you be at peace!  May your self-compassion be your warrior!

More more information refer to Chodron, P. (2006). Bodhisattva Mind. Boulder, CO: Sounds True. [CDs].  See also Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life by Shantideva, (2002 translation) by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso and the New Kadampa Tradition. Tharpa Publications.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Breathing, Compassion, Featured, Joy and Suffering, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, Self Compassion Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, SELF COMPASSION, WORRY

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

The Great Mother of Gratitude Meditation Sit in silence and take a few very slow, very deep breaths in and out. Relax within your personal comfort with eyes opened or closed. If you prefer your eyes to be open, hold you head level and gently gaze down a few feet in front of you. Continue […]

Chronic Pain and Doing Body Scanning Although doing body scans cannot fully relieve your pain, it may help you manage it better. If your pain is serious and chronic you need to work with a qualified pain management professional, who will use both psychological and medical interventions. Note that a recent issue of Consumer Reports reviewed […]

Mindful Equanimity and Homeostasis Neuroscientist Antonio Demasio’s new book  The Strange Order of Things: Life, Feeling, and the Making of Culture. (2018) New York: Pantheon Books notes the very important role homeostasis plays in human life and well being. In some ways homeostasis is about the arising, falling, and balancing out of all things important to human […]

Anahata – Heart Chakra Meditation Practice Rumi noted that to reach the sky we must use our hearts. The Heart Chakra is a very popular focus of meditation practice.  Here we will simply review some characteristics and then move on to a meditation practice. Specific characteristics: Green color, YAM sound (say at least three times […]

Interpersonal Mindfulness Various forms of mindfulness-based compassion training help us to care more about the needs, happiness, and health of other people. However, direct applications of interpersonal mindfulness activates these influences into direct action on behalf of others.  Thus, if lucky, we learn to care more about others and less about ourselves.  The self-centered ego […]

Henry David Thoreau  & Walking Meditation Henry David Thoreau is, perhaps, the most individualistic of the American Transcendentalists. He asked us to consider what we have learned that is useful as we travel our own “stream of life.” He cautions us not to regret when we die that we “had not lived.” He advised us to […]

Using Creativity in Clinical Supervision Effective clinical supervision is a combination of hearable direction about clinical practice, gentle-direct leadership, clinical “Know-How,” evidence-based skills, complex psychodynamics, and the willingness to work with others on their developmental processes. There are risks involved. I have provided clinical supervision and consultation to other clinicians for 43 years without a […]

Introducing Your Clients to Brief Meditations Psychotherapists often ask  about ways to introduce mindfulness and meditation to clients.  There are other posts on this Blog that offer basic introductory information on both content and process. Here I will simply introduce you to four brief, basic meditations for clients suffering from anxiety and/or depression, along with […]

Self-Reality Checks Are Needed in Your Mindful Clinical Practice It is highly important for helpers working in the co-occurring conditions field to become keenly aware of their own realities in practice and life that impact clinical effectiveness.  Below I have listed four areas that show up in clinical surveys and added four more that I […]

Trauma: Object Relations Therapy Object relations therapists, D. W. Winnicott especially, have presented a logical analysis on how to provide object-relations-oriented therapy to people suffering from the effects of psychological trauma. Such attachment-based trauma therapy provides support and healing from trauma, loss and long-term trauma-effects.  The interventions below combine the best of object relations therapy, […]

-The Word, Sound, Meditation, and Music are all Timeless A Tribute to Elvis Presley and his Music The word has been associated with human consciousness.  The word requires the energy of sound to hear it.  Meditation places us in a most receptive state of mind and body; it allows us to be open to our […]

Polyvagal Interventions for Anxiety S. Porges and his Polyvagal Theory may provide innovative interventions for both anxiety and depression. Many people become trapped in ruminating about the past or worrying about the future; they cannot seem to keep their mind and body in the present moment.  Some strong, fear-based, bodily defenses may not respond well to […]

Meditation Guide to Getting Started Since just sitting in basic (mindfulness or vipassana) meditation is such an important practice on your way to emotional regulation – and possibly and eventually to Enlightenment – I decided to offer a quick review of this skilled practice.  Practice every day! 1) Sit comfortably with your back softly errect […]

Calming Your Self-Critical Self with Mindfulness A core problem for many people is their incessant self (or other) criticism. This is a major part of our psychological mind suffering today. In the past life for most people was more difficult, so human basic needs were the energized priorities; today so many of us have been […]

Interoception and Your Inner Self-Helper Interoception (sometimes called neuroception) is a sensory experience, in which you feel sensations in your body (viscera, heart, throat, etc.) that may be warning signs of limbic surveillance or inner continuity of your inner self-helper – that part of you and your brain that hopes to help you in whatever […]

Money and Electronic “Friends” Are They Real ? The Sutta Nipata  (4.15, Translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu) noted “Seeing people floundering like fish in small puddles, competing with one another…fear came into me. The world was entirely without substance….Wanting a haven for myself, I saw nothing that wasn’t laid claim to.  Seeing nothing in the end but […]

What Consciousness Really Is Considering that we have been to the moon and back, and more recently surveyed important moons of Saturn, science is still a very long way from understanding how the human brain works – and even further away from having a clear, agreed-upon interpretation of human consciousness.  Consciousness is the “stuff” of […]

Meditations and Mantra: Try Them Out in Your Practice There are many forms of meditation.  In most cases, the common meditation forms fall into one of two categories: Mindfulness and Insight.  There are also demanding concentration meditations, chakra meditations, and mantra meditations. Here we’ll deal only with the two forms noted above and the use […]

The Holy Year of Mercy Like the Fourteenth Dalai Lama of Tibet, Pope Francis in The Church of Rome, is sharing his opinion on compassion and mercy in life.  Although Pope Francis distinguishes compassion (a human action) from mercy (a divine action), the two positive conditions are quite similar in values, attitudes, and behaviors.  Pope […]

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare” This post will discuss the topic and personal strategies.  Most content will relate to both physical realities and metaphorical meanings and categories. Since a person viewing their self as fighting a spiritual war most likely holds onto certain parts of self in this endeavor, it is highly unlikely that the […]

Mindful Happiness Tags

MINDFUL SELF MEDICATION SELF MBSR THICH NHAT HANH SELF COMPASSION MINDFULNESS TRAINING MEDITATION PRACTICE MINDFUL TRAINING SUFFERING ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER MINDFUL HAPPINESS VIPASSANA MEDITATION ACTIVITY TRAINING MINDFUL MEDITATION MEDITATION COVID-19 BUDDHISM EMPTINESS THERAPY. BREATHING PSYCHOTHERAPY SELF CARE COMPASSION PRACTICE CONSCIOUSNESS ACTIVITIES VIPASSANA DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI BRAIN WISE MIND EXERCISES ANTHONY QUINTILIANI TRAUMA JOURNALING SELF ESTEEM VERMONT ENLIGHTENMENT ADDICTION WALKING MEDITATION PRACTICES CLINICAL SUPERVISION HAPPINESS MINDFULNESS

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2022 · Mindful Happiness