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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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July 20, 2018 By Admin

Using Lectio Divina to Improve Your Self Esteem

Using Lectio Divina to Improve Your Self-Esteem

LectioDivina is an ancient form of Christian (Benedictine) meditation. This meditative prayer is sometimes called “Sacred Seeing.” Lectio Divina follows specific steps as a process: lectio or reading a passage; Meditatio  or meditating on the passage or image; Oratio or praying (I add – in your own way); Contemplatio or contemplation on it; and, Actio or action based on your new insights. Modified below.

  1. For a few minutes sit in calm, self-abiding meditation and just rest.
  2. Now ask yourself this question: “What strengths do I have?”
  3. Write a short paragraph noting the kinds of strengths you know you have.
  4. Now take five long, deep, slow breaths and close your eyes if you are ok with that. Think carefully about the strengths you listed. Contemplate them as you meditate again.
  5. Now in full conscious awareness, read that paragraph over and over slowly.  Read it five or six times, and go deeper into your awareness each time you read it.  Really concentrate.
  6. Answer the following questions about improving your self-esteem by using your strengths. Best to use a form of free association here; simply see what comes into awareness without great effort.
  7. What is the pattern of your strengths? If you come up with something, add it to your paragraph.
  8. Who are you when you have lived experience using your strengths. If something new comes up in your consciousness, add this information to your paragraph.
  9. When are you most likely to use your strengths? Follow the same procedure as above.
  10. Where are you most likely to live by your strengths? Follow the same procedure again.
  11. How does you using your strengths look? Make an image of it, or recall the last time you used your strengths. Notice anything significant, and add it to your paragraph.
  12. Now relax again, and read your longer paragraph over five more times. Read slowly, and add deeper concentration each time you read it. Go into it deeply!
  13. End with a short story about your future use of your signature strengths.
  14. Go back into light meditation with long, slow, deep breaths and just relax. Notice how you feel right now. Remember your strengths are always with you, but you need to use them.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Lectio Divina, Practices, Self Esteem Tagged With: LECTIO DIVINA, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, PRACTICE, SELF ESTEEM

April 23, 2016 By Admin

Improving Self-Esteem – An Action Contemplation

Improving Your Self-Esteem – An Action Contemplation

The UCLA Higher Education Research Institute’s surveys and V. Mamgain’s ideas about neoclassical economics of happiness help provide a means to deconstruct improved learning in higher education and also personal happiness in the process. According to the UCLA research surveys, higher education students want more spirituality and personal meaning from their mindful-happiness-self-esteemeducational experiences.  They also desire employment after their education. Combining these experiential and concrete goals is no simple matter. Here I will focus on one major roadblock for many students: their dearth of positive self-esteem in learning and life.

Simply contemplate then answer the questions noted below.  You may wish to use the ancient method of sequential, separate episodes of deep contemplation on each question before answering it.

Read the question then contemplate on it.  Then contemplate on it again, and again, and again for a deeper understanding of meaning and a more useful answer.

After successive contemplations, answer each question.

  • What are the causes and conditions that lead to you feeling happier?
    • List three
  • Take a deeper look at your happy experiences. What is your “felt” personal experience of being happy?
    • List three.
  • Is your personal happiness simply pleasure, or is it more than pleasure?
    • If it is more than pleasure, what is it.
      • List three insights about your happiness.

Some researchers believe that your perception and interception of personal happiness are simply explained as sensory-perceptual functions of your brain and mind.

  • If you think it is more, what is it?
    • List three

Often humans require more mindful contemplation and insightful action to enjoy their lives.  Since happiness that is a natural state is not dangerous, the brain’s self-protective areas (limbic system) tend to ignore it.  So to become a happier person you do need to be more mindful and serious about practicing happiness.

  • So, what are the deeper and personal meanings that happiness satisfies in you as a person?
    • List three
  • What are the personal and deeper values that happiness satisfies in you?
    • List three
  • What are your emotional purposes in experiencing happiness?
    • List three
  • Now that you probably have a better understanding of your personal happiness, what experiments and/or experiences will you engage in to expand your happiness in life?
    • List three

When will you begin?

To help ensure that you practice mindful ways to become happier, write a brief summary of the main changes you intend to make in the near future.

For more information refer to Palmer, P. J. and Zajonc, A. (2010). The Heart of Higher Education: A Call to Action. San Francisco, CA: Jossey Bass, pp. 79-193.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

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Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Mindful Awareness, Self Esteem, Training Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, EXERCISE, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFUL VT, SELF ESTEEM

April 4, 2016 By Admin

Mindful Actions to Improve YOUR Self-Esteem

Practice:  Mindful Actions to Improve YOUR Self-Esteem

Improving Your Awareness with Practice

  1. Remain mindfully aware of the content and meta-cognition regarding the “speaking” of your inner, self-conscious critic.  Note what trends appear in the conversation.
  2. Remain mindfully aware of the reactions your mind and body experience regarding the activity of your inner self-critic in dealing with day-to-day life stressors.
  3. Carefully note the fluctuations in your self-esteem inner experience in reaction to the destructive rampages of your inner self-critic.
  4. Mindfully note the emotional impact your inner self-critic has when you experience anxiety, depression, traumatic memories, substance use/ eating issues (self-medicating), and harsh interpersonal relationships.
  5. Make a list of the cognitive and affective content that are the consequences of your negative emotional experience with your inner self-critic.  These will be your targets over the next few weeks and months.
  6. As strange as it sounds, begin to befriend the targets you noted. Slowly, graciously, and compassionately make space inside your heart for these not-so-pleasant inner experiences. They are part of you.

mindful-happiness-ways-to-build-your-self-esteem

Using Wise Mind Mindfulness to Transform Your Inner Self-Critic and Improve Self-Esteem

  1. When the thoughts, images and emotions come up regarding what is NOT ok with you, use your imagination to paint over them with your favorite color.
  2. When you encounter these negative introjects, use your imagination to make them smaller in size so your mind’s eyes see less mass.
  3. When you encounter these painful inner experiences, use a split screen technique to place the negative in one section and an opposite positives YOU DO POSSESS in another section of what you see with your mind’s eyes.
  4. Important – DO meditation or yoga or exercise for at least 10 minutes EVERYDAY. Do your best to slowly expand your time in these very helpful and emotionally self-regulating activities.
  5. Radically accept what you cannot change, but work very hard on changing what you can change.
  6. Forgive yourself for all past actions that have resulted in you experiencing shame or guilt.
  7. Foster positive relationships where there is mutual social and emotional support, and discard those that are negative and unhelpful for you.
  8. If you are in psychotherapy make self-esteem improvement a part of that process, and encourage your helper to measure the outcomes over time.
  9. Assertively “talk back” to your inner self-critic, and find the middle way, middle ground between extremes.
  10. Learn about and practice self-compassion when you suffer from the voices of your inner self-critic.
  11. Smile more (brain feedback realities) and work hard to find things to enjoy and/or laugh about.
  12. Use images and metaphors for both the concrete “things” in your inner self-critic and their improvements.
  13. Practice more positive psychology: random acts of kindness, gratitude lists, generosity, being kind to others, paying more attention to positives, etc.
  14. Consider writing in a self-esteem and/or happiness journal daily.  Write at least one positive, helpful sentence each day, then go back and re-read it after each week of journaling.
  15. Practice letting go of the past, which you cannot change.
  16. Practice planning for the future, but know you cannot control it.
  17. Practice active participation in the present moment, which is the only moment of experience you have direct emotional control over.  Be present for both positive and negative experiences in the present moment.
  18. STOP upward comparison with others, who you think have what you want.
  19. Practice downward comparison with others, who you know have lees than you have.
  20. Practice any helpful spiritual or religious activities that you find helpful.
  21. Learn and practice self-soothing and emotion regulation skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
  22. Learn about and practice using your core values in your own life experiences (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).
  23. STOP struggling to get what you crave, thinking that it will make you happy. Research and thousands of years of human experience have shown this desiring/attachment does not bring lasting, internal happiness.
  24. Read good books about how to improve your own self-image and be happier in your life.
  25. Practice effective stress reduction skills whenever you feel mental/bodily stress reactions as the cue to practice Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction).
  26. VOW to pick 10 things to practice, and practice them one by one for ten full weeks – one practice per week.

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For more information refer to Quintiliani, A. R. (2014). Mindful Happiness... Shelburne, VT: Voices of Vermont Publishing, pp. 20-41;Bradshaw, C. M. (2016). How to Like Yourself…Oakland, CA: New Harbinger; Marotta, J. (2013). 50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem…Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

MindfulHappiness_Amazon           mindful-happiness_barnes_and_noble

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Benefits of Meditation, Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, Mindful Loving, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Mindfulness Training, Self Esteem, Training, Wise Mind Tagged With: MINDFULNESS, SELF ESTEEM, WISE MIND

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