PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH Archives - Mindful Happiness

March 18, 2015 By Admin

Compassion Practices

Reminders for Your Psychological and Physical Health

If you desire to be more compassionate with others and with yourself, remember the following.

Be certain to ACT on the following.

1) Life is complete only with joy/happiness, neutral experiences, and suffering/pain. These are the realities of human existence. These are the conditions of human life. Make the most of your contentment and happiness without clinging; learn to accept and live with the boredom of neutrality; and, face mindfully with radical acceptance all forms of suffering you encounter.

2) Your genetic, evolutionary biology has much to do with the level of compassion you experience. In times of high stress reactivity, your emotional brain centers (fear, reactivity, survival) often overcome your more rational, executive brain areas. When you are reacting with dysregulated biologically-based emotional energies, stop to breathe and activate your executive brain. Then THINK how to be calmly mindful right NOW, in this specific situation. Then apply a wise mind skill. The sequence is one of stability, thought, then behaviors. No impulsivity!

3) Your psychology has much to do with your level of compassion. You will have little compassion if you are an entitled, ego-centric person, who believes the most important aspect of life is personal self-interest/greed – the “I, Me, Mine” first attitudes. If you desire more compassion – as well as self-compassion for your own suffering – there is great need to work on modifying this level selfishness. There are great emotional rewards for being a more compassionate person.

4) From Buddhism we hear that true compassion stems from thoughts, speech, and actions. When we activate compassionate thoughts, words, and behaviors we help others and ourselves. All people desire happiness; all people desire less suffering. Compassionate actions are those that place others first (before your own self-interests) and reduce or prevent suffering in others.

5) Utilize “Quintiliani’s” views on CABS-VAKGO-IS-Rels. The person I am depends upon my thoughts. emotions, and behaviors – all of which stems from sensory input, memory and experience (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory – or sight, hearing, touch/sensations, smell and taste). The CABS-VAKGO aspects of living are influenced by out intuition and spirituality, and activate within the context of relationships with others. This is the whole story of who/what we are. Use each part of your holistic being to be more compassionate. Begin to practice with thoughts on intentions.

6) As Gilbert and Choden note: Practice “philanthropia” (love for all) and recognize that Compassion is “the fundamental agent of transformation.” (p. 93) The great hope is to experience bodhichitta, or the awakened heart-mind of compassion.

7) Neff also reminds us of some very important aspects of self-compassion. It is multidimensional, multisensory, involves kindness, and radical acceptance of human suffering – our own and that of others. We must be motivated to express compassion inwardly and outwardly. We must hold a cognitive world view on what is necessary to prevent or reduce suffering. Also, we must possess the courage to act on the intention and the caring heart. Intuition and emotional intelligence influence our actions. Without direct action there is little benefit of compassion or self-compassion. To be most powerful, compassion must be activated.

8) The Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso) reminds us that compassionate action begins with self-compassion practices. Without a level of self-compassion, it is unlikely that general compassion will be effective.

9) In the end, it is active emotional and behavioral engagement with others that counts. If we ride the energetic wave of compassionate action, we help others and ourselves. We experience intense emotional rewards.

For more information refer to Gilbert, P. and Choden (2014). Mindful Compassion… Oakland, CA: New Harbinger and also Neff. K. (2011). Self-Compassion…New York: Morrow.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Looking at Early Judeo-Chrsitian Meditation Practice An early description of enlightened liberation in Buddhist meditation practice reads like this: Birth is destroyed, the spiritual life has been lived, what had to be done has been done. There is no more coming back to any state of being. Ignorance was banished and true knowledge arose, darkness […]

Secular Meditation and Addictions Treatment Today we have ample research evidence (NIH, NIDA, SAMHSA, etc.) that mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and mind training all have some effectiveness in improving addiction disorders. In recent meta-analyses the primary effect was through improved emotion regulations, whereas there was a more direct positive impact on chronic pain, depression, and anxiety. […]

My blog site mindfulhappiness.org has many posts on meditation, Buddhism, education, clinical practices and self-activated emotional health practices. Perhaps you may wish to initiate a Reflective Journal practice after you do practices presented on the site. There are many benefits from maintaining a written journal about personal experiences and practices. Not only does a […]

Expanded Lectio Divina for Self-Development In this post I will provide an expanded version of this process by combining information from Origen, the Carthusian Monk Guigo II, and Augustine of Hippo. The presented process of 12 steps may be used to enhance internalization of sacred writing and/or to support internal healing of the participants. […]

Concentration Vs Mindfulness? Many people new to meditation often confuse the differences between mindfulness or accepted bare attention to whatever arises in the moment and concentration or strong penetrating awareness on one thing without distraction. Concentration is a more intensely focused and engaged form of mindful attention. Concentration is sustained, powerfully focused, one-pointed attentional awareness. […]

The Needs of Traumatized Children – Learning Activity As a means to hone in on your helping behaviors, complete this learning activity. NEEDS List a Concrete Example for Each Unmet Need. Biological _______________________________________________ Psychological ____________________________________________ Social __________________________________________________ Emotional _______________________________________________ Educational ______________________________________________ Spiritual ________________________________________________ Attachment ______________________________________________ What can YOU do to help meet […]

In-Depth Means to Discover and Be Your True Self Henry David Thoreau reminded us that it is not what you look at, but it is what you see that matters. How do you SEE yourself? John Muir reminded us that the sun shines in us as well as in our souls. Do you find “the […]

-The Word, Sound, Meditation, and Music are all Timeless A Tribute to Elvis Presley and his Music The word has been associated with human consciousness. The word requires the energy of sound to hear it. Meditation places us in a most receptive state of mind and body; it allows us to be open to our […]

Mindfulness Can Activate More Grace in Our Lives Today we all need to be cultivating more and deeper grace. Grace needs to be activated. Given so many of our cultural problems (murders and mass murders by gunfire, rampant personal and corporate greed, ego-entitlement, chronic stress, feelings of insecurity, technological advances that do not ADVANCE us, […]

Using Lectio Divina to Enhance Your Happiness Lectio Divina is an ancient Christian (Benedictine) meditation; it is a form of meditative prayer called “sacred seeing.” We will use a modified version of the process here. Follow the steps noted below. Sit quietly in meditative form, calmly abiding yourself here now. After a […]

Vipassana for Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, and Addictions The integration of Vipassana meditation with various forms of therapy has for many years been a standard of treatment worldwide and in Vermont, especially when impulse control and emotion regulations issues are included. Buddhist Psychology offers clear explanations why this intervention may be helpful for so many suffering […]

Mindfulness Training From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton,Vermont The Problem: Many people become stuck in the suffering of their past, and they continue to re-experience an event in the futile hope to better understand it, or to find an escape from it. Many of the same people become fixated fearfully […]

Stress In America – How to Deal with it Effectively The American Psychological Association just released the results of its annual stress survey for 2014. This comprehensive study of stress in America has some serious implications for our health and happiness. Although self-reported stress levels in many categories are lower than in 2013, the overall […]

Gurdjieff’s The Fourth Way Meditations: A way of Being and Knowing Although Gurdjieff developed a whole way of being and knowing, including attentional practices, dance/body movements, group processes, and meditations here I will focus only on some of the suggested meditations. In particular, I include the meditations noted by his primary student (J. DeSalzmann, 2011). […]

Mindful Happiness: Joy is Within Reach – It is Up to You to Choose It! We all live in a very troubled world with lots of greed, hate, warfare, and danger. Many of us use distractions (addictions, cell phone habits, eating, gathering, games, etc.) to make it through the days. This is true! However, […]

Meditation Process in Chan Buddhism Chan Master Changlu’s The Deportmant for Sitting Meditation (12th century China) is a clear and helpful set of instruction. 1) It begins with the making of a personal vow for great compassion, personal liberation, and samadhi – all for the purpose of delivering sentient beings from their suffering and to their […]

Self-Help Journaling – Two Methods Generally there are two forms of self-help journaling: writing about worries and concerns OR writing about joy and happiness. In my more than 35 years of clinical experience I have not found the former to be very helpful. Most people stuck in negative mood states are not easily able to […]

The “I AM THAT” Meditation Elena Brower’s new book, Practice You: A Journal (Sounds True, 2017) has many thoughtful suggestions on how to connect with the true inner self, and – more importantly – how to improve your self-views and the experience of your deep inner self. Below I have modified her presentation of the “I Am […]

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do. It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current rampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: […]

Helper Self-Care is Important In the most current issue of The National Psychologist (July-August, 2019) an article linked helper effectiveness, risk management, and clinical outcomes to helper self-care. To make a long story shorter, I will simply paraphrase and re-word the suggestions. These recommendations support YOUR emotional survival and successful risk management as a helper as […]