PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH Archives - Mindful Happiness

March 18, 2015 By Admin

Compassion Practices

Reminders for Your Psychological and Physical Health

If you desire to be more compassionate with others and with yourself, remember the following.

Be certain to ACT on the following.

1) Life is complete only with joy/happiness, neutral experiences, and suffering/pain. These are the realities of human existence. These are the conditions of human life. Make the most of your contentment and happiness without clinging; learn to accept and live with the boredom of neutrality; and, face mindfully with radical acceptance all forms of suffering you encounter.

2) Your genetic, evolutionary biology has much to do with the level of compassion you experience. In times of high stress reactivity, your emotional brain centers (fear, reactivity, survival) often overcome your more rational, executive brain areas. When you are reacting with dysregulated biologically-based emotional energies, stop to breathe and activate your executive brain. Then THINK how to be calmly mindful right NOW, in this specific situation. Then apply a wise mind skill. The sequence is one of stability, thought, then behaviors. No impulsivity!

3) Your psychology has much to do with your level of compassion. You will have little compassion if you are an entitled, ego-centric person, who believes the most important aspect of life is personal self-interest/greed – the “I, Me, Mine” first attitudes. If you desire more compassion – as well as self-compassion for your own suffering – there is great need to work on modifying this level selfishness. There are great emotional rewards for being a more compassionate person.

4) From Buddhism we hear that true compassion stems from thoughts, speech, and actions. When we activate compassionate thoughts, words, and behaviors we help others and ourselves. All people desire happiness; all people desire less suffering. Compassionate actions are those that place others first (before your own self-interests) and reduce or prevent suffering in others.

5) Utilize “Quintiliani’s” views on CABS-VAKGO-IS-Rels. The person I am depends upon my thoughts. emotions, and behaviors – all of which stems from sensory input, memory and experience (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory – or sight, hearing, touch/sensations, smell and taste). The CABS-VAKGO aspects of living are influenced by out intuition and spirituality, and activate within the context of relationships with others. This is the whole story of who/what we are. Use each part of your holistic being to be more compassionate. Begin to practice with thoughts on intentions.

6) As Gilbert and Choden note: Practice “philanthropia” (love for all) and recognize that Compassion is “the fundamental agent of transformation.” (p. 93) The great hope is to experience bodhichitta, or the awakened heart-mind of compassion.

7) Neff also reminds us of some very important aspects of self-compassion. It is multidimensional, multisensory, involves kindness, and radical acceptance of human suffering – our own and that of others. We must be motivated to express compassion inwardly and outwardly. We must hold a cognitive world view on what is necessary to prevent or reduce suffering. Also, we must possess the courage to act on the intention and the caring heart. Intuition and emotional intelligence influence our actions. Without direct action there is little benefit of compassion or self-compassion. To be most powerful, compassion must be activated.

8) The Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso) reminds us that compassionate action begins with self-compassion practices. Without a level of self-compassion, it is unlikely that general compassion will be effective.

9) In the end, it is active emotional and behavioral engagement with others that counts. If we ride the energetic wave of compassionate action, we help others and ourselves. We experience intense emotional rewards.

For more information refer to Gilbert, P. and Choden (2014). Mindful Compassion… Oakland, CA: New Harbinger and also Neff. K. (2011). Self-Compassion…New York: Morrow.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Amitabha Buddha – Pure Land Meditation The following meditation had been modified by me to make it a more specific self-healing meditation and to better fit the time we now live in. Sit quietly and complete 3-4 deep, calming breaths. Pay attention to the quality and density of the light you see outside of your […]

America’s Opioid Problem-2020; A Brief Update Unfortunately, Opioid Use Disorder (OUD) is alive and well in 2020. Today approximately 150 People are dying each day due to opioid overdose. The CDC noted that from 1999 to 2017 approximately 399,000 people died in the United States from Opioid overdose. Related to chronic pain, this is one […]

Practice: Yogi Deep Meditation on Inner Listening Carl Jung noted: Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside, awakens. The Katha Upanishads (800-400 BCE) noted: One path leads outward and the other inward. [The] way inward leads to grace. The Mind Cave Focus instructs us to close our eyes and expand your third-eye space to the back of […]

My third posting on self-medication- Comes from the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont. Now we will turn our attention to how people become habituated to self-medication to obtain brief moments of joy and/or to avoid emotional suffering. Recall that self-medication becomes a habit (dopamine released in reward centers of the […]

Mindful Loving Can Improve Relationships The 14th Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso), Pema Chodron, David Richo and many others have provided us with helpful advice about improving the quality of our significant relationships. The Dalai Lama in various writings reminds us that to have true compassion for others – including those we love – we must […]

Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy “gems” In my opinion there are about eleven such “gems” in psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Use of these interventions in various types of psychotherapy may improve clinical outcomes beyond insight. Although these curative interventions have often been associated with treatment of psychological trauma, object loss, and inner conflict, they may also be useful in the […]

Mindful Leadership Skills: How to Lead in Wise Mind Ways Researchers dealing with leadership skills have noted several acquired characteristics of effective leaders. These same skills may be used in spreading “the word” about how mindfulness and wise mind practices reduce stress reactivity, enhance compassion, and expand the possibilities for human happiness, inner peace and […]

What The Buddha Taught About Metta In the Metta Sutta (Anguttara Nikaya, 11:16) The Buddha said that we should seek the following characteristics in how we live our lives: Wholesome goodness; Gentle speech; Human Humility; Personal contentment; Personal calmness; and, Pure-heartedness in all we think, say, and do. By living this way we would be […]

Effective Clinical Supervision Perhaps other than the mental health status of the therapist and her/his ethical clinical skills, there is no more important variable in successful clinical work than effective CLINICAL supervision. I emphasize “clinical’ because in today’s bureaucratic systems, so much supervision tends to be about required procedures like utilization level, reporting requirements, and documentation for services […]

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue First let’s begin with what some people do to counteract the stressors of living in a hurried,“over-technologized” world. Technically, “technologize” is not a popularly accepted word, but it is a sad reality. We live in a time when texting while driving may become the new addiction-based cause for many, many […]

Interpersonal Mindfulness Various forms of mindfulness-based compassion training help us to care more about the needs, happiness, and health of other people. However, direct applications of interpersonal mindfulness activates these influences into direct action on behalf of others. Thus, if lucky, we learn to care more about others and less about ourselves. The self-centered ego […]

Happiness #5 – Last Post on Characteristics This will be my last post for a while on the important topic of happiness. Here I will hit a few highlights about simple joy and lasting inner experiences of true happiness. Simple Joy – We experience simple joy in simple experiences, small sometimes subtle events in our […]

Mindfulness Based Contemplations Best to practice both of these contemplations using the lectio divina method, that is each time you contemplate the content of the two messages concentrate a bit more, go a bit deeper into your mind. Concentrate! Concentrate! Concentrate! Go deeper into your mind to discover your answers. Contemplation 1 – Who Am I? If I […]

Core Elements in Clinical Supervision In addition to what supervisors bring into group supervision and clinical training, the list below will be used for discussion about YOUR supervisory role. The order of content below is generally random. The content noted applies to clinical supervision; it could also apply to doing effective therapy. The skills and […]

Supervision and Self-Care in Trauma Therapy Today there is an ever-increasing demand for effective trauma therapy. Our American clinical history on this matter leaves much to be desired. John N. Briere and Cheryl B. Lanktree offer important suggestions on how to use clinical supervision and self-care in your clinical work with clients suffering from serious […]

How to Offer Personal Tribute to Those Who Have Died The Four Noble Truths tell us sobering news. There is suffering, and impermanence of all things including us and our loved ones. Below I have listed several thing you can do to HONOR a person you have lost. Here is the list. Recall a special […]

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do. It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current rampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: […]

Loving Kindness Meditation – More Thoughts Some less experienced meditators complain about how easily the mind’s wandering thoughts distract them from paying attention and deepening concentration. This is a very common problem in meditation practice, and not always just for novices. Here is a solution for you to try. In Loving Kindness Meditation, you focus […]

Meditation Guide to Getting Started Since just sitting in basic (mindfulness or vipassana) meditation is such an important practice on your way to emotional regulation – and possibly and eventually to Enlightenment – I decided to offer a quick review of this skilled practice. Practice every day! 1) Sit comfortably with your back softly errect […]

Showing Deep Love & Respect Loved Ones Lost This is a very brief post about love and respect for “lost loved ones” – those special people who have left their human body and mind behind. Two Rituals 1) Loving Kindness Meditation for Lost Loved Ones After breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes in silence, […]