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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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June 18, 2016 By Admin

Self-Kindness – Something to Practice!

 

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice

Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do.  It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current MINDFUL HAPPINESSrampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: pathological narcissism or self-disdain. We are lacking an intelligent “middle way.” A recent issue of Shambhala Sun  presented several approaches to improve self-compassion and self-kindness without greed or narcissism.  You may wish to visit these sites.Self-Compassion, and Center for Mindful Compassion.

Now let’s begin with a brief meditation on this important topic.

  1. Sit in a comfortable meditative posture.
  2. Begin with a few deep, slow cleansing breaths.
  3. Work at being open-minded, fearless, and present.
  4. Turn the light of the world inward to your heart area. Watch your joyful self as well as your suffering self – BUT do not get caught in the suffering past or the fearful future.  Stay present here now.
  5. As you breathe and practice this, note the sensations and emotions arising in this moment.
  6. Notice if any of your negative energies arise: negative, critical thoughts; unhappy mind; projected criticism of others, etc.  Just let it be if present. Them use impermanence and try to let it go with you mind and body.  Just do your best here.
  7. Practice kindness for yourself as you would for your significant other or a best friend.
  8.  Be in your feelings well beyond the fearful amygdala, less-than self, and false-self greatness. Let go!
  9. Be aware of the sources of joy and self-fulfillment all around you in this world. You need to notice them to use these resources.  Make images of some right now.
  10. Place your hands over your heart and allow in self-compassion.  Allow in self-kindness. Allow in self-liking.  Be personal on what these “allowings” mean to you and how you are experiencing them now.
  11. Follow Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s advice: Trust in yourself; be kind and generous to self and others; use self-compassion always!  Now just practice a little longer.

For more details refer to Shambhala Sun (November, 2015), pp. 52-63.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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October 7, 2014 By Admin

Mindfulness to Expand Acceptance of Others

Mindfulness Practices for Expanding Acceptance

Mindfulness and contemplation can be great allies in our struggle to better understand each other.  This is especially true when it comes to matters of interpersonal relationships and highly significant relationships.  It is also important in diversity, or as some now refer to it – variation in human beings.   Variation may be a better term; it implies there are variations in all humans.  Since variation exists inside and outside typical human groups (women, men, racial and ethnic groups, religions, etc.), it may be a more normative term to signify a noticed difference in any person.  Since variation (diversity) among people is a highly observable difference, it may sometimes influence our deeper insecurities: this person is like me or not like me.  mindfulhappiness_acceptance-of-others

In mindfulness traditions, we strive to accept others as complete equals and to be in a state of compassion and acceptance with them.  All people are born, suffer, experience joy, become old and/or ill, then die at some point.  We are ALL experiencing the same process living here on earth.   We all suffer, experience joy, and we all will die at some time in the future.

Keeping these ideas in mind, please participate in the following mindful awareness activity dealing with human variation.  This is a positive stereotyping activity.  You are being asked to use mindful contemplation to think of positives in other people who present with variation – not exactly like you.

Please follow the steps listed below.

A) List five groups of people with variation – these groups are different in race, ethnicity, religion, social-economic status, etc.  The five groups are NOT exactly like you.

1.

 

 

2

 

 

3

 

 

 

4

 

 

 

5

 

 

B) Although these five groups of people have variations that you do not have, please contemplate about each group AND at least one positive trait you believe they possess.  This is positive stereotyping; positive stereotyping is being used to have you experience something a bit different regarding your usual views about variations in humans.

NOW go back to the five groups and write at least one positive trait you do believe each group possesses.

Mindful-Happiness_AcceptanceofOthers

C) As you read over what you have written, contemplate on each group and any positives you listed.

D) As you completed this mindful activity did you notice any biases that came up for you?  If yes – what came up?

E) As you completed this mindful activity, did you notice any feelings of compassion that came up about any of the groups or their struggles?  If yes – what came up?

F) As you completed this mindful activity, did you notice any subtle shifts in your own perspectives about any of these groups?  If yes – what shifted?

Hopefully mindful activities like this one may be helpful in softening your own heart about others – and, perhaps, about yourself.

Compassion, acceptance, and understanding can go a long way in improving relations with others.  This is particularly true if the others possess human variations you do not possess.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

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June 26, 2014 By Admin

Perception and Processing of Emotional Experiences-

From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular MeditationChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

We humans have a unique way of perceiving and processing emotional experiences.  Years ago I developed a formula to understand the perception and  process of emotional experiences: CABS-VAKGO-IS/Rels.  The C stands for cognition; we spend a great deal of time thinking about pretty much everything we experience in awareness and even in our dreams.  We are a species dominated by our cognition and consciousness.  We also have affect, of in lay terms the A implies emotional experience – especially the internal aspects of sensations and feelings.  The B stands for behavior, which is often the end-product of cognition coupled with emotion.  It tends to be our cognition and behavior that make us suffer or “experience” happiness.  It can be our behavior (self-medication with mind altering substances) that may result in serious life problems.

Mindful-Happiness_AnthonyQuintilianiMindfulness-based “wise-mind” skills may help us to enhance positive, helpful, effective life habits – thus creating highly adaptive and mindful responses to life’s challenges.  Human also use sensory systems to navigate the world of emotional experience.  VAKGO represents visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory and olfactory.  We use our senses (to see, hear, feel, taste and smell) in memories of past experiences, in sensory awareness of present moment experiences, and in mental projections of possible future experiences.  Humans also use intuition and spirituality to better understand our emotional experiences.  Lastly, the Rels refers to all inner human experience in relationship to significant people, places and things in our lives.  We may develop both problems and skills utilizing each of these perceptual processing channels.   It is ultimately up to us; we can develop unhelpful habits that lead to suffering and pain, or we can develop helpful habits that lead to greater joy and happiness.   All this occurs in our brain via mind training.

mindfulhappiness-senses-perceptionThe human brain does some fascinating things with our sensory perception.  Perception consists of energetic impulses in our sense organs.  Then after brainstem processing, the thalamus acts as a relay station. Sensory inputs are relayed to various brain regions for processing and evaluation.  For example, emotional events are transmitted to the amygdala, and verbal/word events are transmitted to the temporal areas.  Color and visual inputs move to the occipital area, and touch and movement inputs are relayed to the parietal area (as well as to the somatosensory and somatomotor strips).  The all-important hippocampus records and stores memories; it also initiates memory categorization (over 20 types of memory categories).  The prefrontal area, the limbic area (amygdala and hippocampus), the reward centers, and various sensory-related brain regions interact to solidify precise meaning-making of the events (short-term memory).

mindful-happiness-anthony-quintiliani Eventually the brain retains long-term memories of emotional events.  In the future when a sensory system or memory fragment is stimulated, the human brain is capable of re-activating the entire memory – the neural networks in the sequence of event and its associated emotional realities.  Through brain plasticity our amazing brain promotes intelligence and adaptability in the future.  The more we know about HOW to USE our minds to influence our brain’s processing and evaluating, the greater mindfulness power we have to reduce personal suffering and enhance personal happiness.

It is up to YOU!

 

For more information refer to Michio Kaku (2014). The Future of the Mind: The Scientific Quest to Understand, Enhance, and Empower the Mind. New York: Doubleday, pp. 104-129.

 Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

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June 13, 2014 By Admin

Advanced Meditation On Perception

Mindfulness Training

 From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton,Vermont

ChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenterThe Problem:   Many people become stuck in the suffering of their past, and they continue to re-experience an event in the futile hope to better understand it, or to find an escape from it.  Many of the same people become fixated fearfully on the future, perhaps expecting similar forms of personal suffering and pain.  From Freudian “mastery” to limbic system hard-wired processes, being stuck in the past and apprehensive about the future prevents us from being in the present moment – thus limiting the power that mindfulness may possess to truly  help  us  NOW.

Practice  being  in  the  present  moment  only.

One approach to practice that may be quite helpful is presented by Bhante Gunaratana.  His 2014 book Meditation on Perceptions: Ten Healing Practices to Cultivate Mindfulness offers some important help.

From the Four Noble Truths and other sources we learn that the primary sources of suffering and pain are personal cravings for self-centered desires and the fact that everything always changes.  Root causes for craving are ignorance and delusion about the “way things are” as well as lack of cognitive understanding about impermanence, selflessness, dependent arising, and emptiness.  We humans require a lot of mind training and wisdom about our reality and our happiness.

We will improve our status and may even attain true happiness by recognition of root sensations as the foundations of emotions – mindfulness  in  body,  mind,  sensory perception, and objects of mind.mindfulness-training-mindful-happiness-burlington-vermont-anthony-quintiliani

The Girimananda Sutta offers special mind training on samatha concentration (tranquility, calm abiding), contemplation, and vipassana (“special seeing” via insight and awareness of ultimate reality) meditations.  The “ten healing practices” include meditation on perceptions of impermanence, selflessness, impurities, change, abandoning, dispassion, cessation, non-delight, pure breath, and bodily  feelings   (includes  perception,  thought,  and  consciousness).

mindful-Happiness-Burlington-VT-Anthony-Quintiliani

Let’s begin to practice.  Select one of the ten healing practices, learn about it, and make it your mind’s object of attention and awareness. The seven instructions below may be used with all ten healing practices – or  the perception meditations on them.  Practice regularly.

Practice in a quiet place so that you can build up meditation on perceptions without being disturbed or distracted. When your mind wonders simply and gently bring it back to the healing practice you are meditating on.

Adopt a stable and comfortable posture so your body will be relaxed while meditating.  You may sit on a meditation cushion, use a bench, a chair, or even do the meditation while standing, walking or lying down.mindful-happiness-burlington-vermont-anthny-quintiliani

Bring full attention to the present moment – NOT to the past (it is gone) or to the future (not yet here). Your meditative power is in the  present moment only.  Use  it  well.  Presence  is  sacredness.

Fully focus the mind on the coming and going of your breath – just pay attention in complete awareness.

Expand your awareness of your own breath – coming, going, in, out,  long,  short,  at  the  nose,  in  the  chest,  in  the  hara,  etc.

Be gentle with yourself and your practice.  Do it on a regular basis – daily is best!

Remain flexible and positive in your meditative presence.

Time to begin for as long as you wish to practice. Select one of the ten healing perceptions and meditate on it with complete awareness for as long as you wish to practice.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D. LADC

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

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Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Meditation, MIndfulness, Practices, Training Tagged With: MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFUL TRAINING

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