MINDFUL HAPPINESS Archives - Page 19 of 22

November 4, 2014 By Admin

Compassion Practices & Benefits

Expanded Information about Your Compassion Practices and Benefits

Compassion Practice Tips and Exercises

The Buddha noted that one should not dwell on the past, become too attached to future outcomes, but instead concentrate our mind only on the present moment of our experiences. The Dalai Lama noted that compassion is a necessary condition for inner calmness and survival. Pema Chodron noted that compassion is required for inner and outer peace. If you practice the skills noted below, it is highly recommended that you write briefly on a daily basis in a compassion-based journal about your growth and your journey.

Here is an expanded list of things you may notice when you make compassion practices a part of your regular, daily practice.

If you practice seriously, expect the following to occur.

1) Improved self-confidence and self-esteem, especially in dealing with others;

2) Improved quality of emotional experiences and emotional regulation;

3) Greater frequency in being your own best friend;

4) Improved interpersonal relationships and greater social engagement;

5) Reduced shame and extreme perfectionism;

6) More self-supporting focus on your strengths;

7) Greater generosity and kindness;

8) More soft-heartedness in dealing both with yourself and with others;

9) General improvements in psychological and physical well-being; and,

10) Greater ease at continuing to be more compassionate (brain plasticity related to regular, daily practice).

Here are a few ways to expand your regular practice of compassion.

1) First do a personal inventory. Examine your life experience and note 2-3 unhelpful and 2-3 helpful life experiences/events. Now under each list pros and cons regarding your expected/experienced outcomes from both helpful and unhelpful life experiences.

Unhelpful (Unpleasant)Experiences and events –

Pros:

Cons:

Helpful (Pleasant) Experiences and Events –

Pros:

Cons:

2) Answer this question. How have these life experiences, even the unpleasant events, helped you in your life?

3) If you were now coaching your best friend, what three things might you do to coach them into being more compassionate?

4) Practice empathy for yourself and others more frequently.

5) Catch yourself being critical or negative, and stop! Shift your thinking and feelings to improved self-understanding and non-judgment.

6) Do the same when dealing with others.

7) Notice what your internal emotional warmth feels like. Describe it below. Work to expand it!

8) Develop and use a self-nurturing mantra. What is it?

9) Learn to pay better attention to your body and facial emotions. When you catch them being negative or unpleasant, shift! Practice shifting to a more compassionate stance in both your body and on your face. Look at a mirror, when you sense being negative, and when you sense being positive.

10) Periodically check the quality of your thoughts, emotions and memories. If they are unpleasant, shift them to neutral or pleasant. Use self-compassion and compassion for others as your energy source.

Good luck. May you experience the benefits of compassion every day of your life.

For more information refer to Gilbert, P. (2014). Mindful Compassion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. See also Welford, M. (2013). The Power of Self-Compassion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

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Mindful Expressions Meditation CD

Mindful Expressions Through Meditation Practice

This 70 minute CD offers brief guided instruction for eight different types of meditation practices.

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Quintiliani, A. R. (2014). Mindful Expressions Through Meditation Practice.

Produced by Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

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October 7, 2014 By Admin

Mindfulness to Expand Acceptance of Others

Mindfulness Practices for Expanding Acceptance

Mindfulness and contemplation can be great allies in our struggle to better understand each other. This is especially true when it comes to matters of interpersonal relationships and highly significant relationships. It is also important in diversity, or as some now refer to it – variation in human beings. Variation may be a better term; it implies there are variations in all humans. Since variation exists inside and outside typical human groups (women, men, racial and ethnic groups, religions, etc.), it may be a more normative term to signify a noticed difference in any person. Since variation (diversity) among people is a highly observable difference, it may sometimes influence our deeper insecurities: this person is like me or not like me.

In mindfulness traditions, we strive to accept others as complete equals and to be in a state of compassion and acceptance with them. All people are born, suffer, experience joy, become old and/or ill, then die at some point. We are ALL experiencing the same process living here on earth. We all suffer, experience joy, and we all will die at some time in the future.

Keeping these ideas in mind, please participate in the following mindful awareness activity dealing with human variation. This is a positive stereotyping activity. You are being asked to use mindful contemplation to think of positives in other people who present with variation – not exactly like you.

Please follow the steps listed below.

A) List five groups of people with variation – these groups are different in race, ethnicity, religion, social-economic status, etc. The five groups are NOT exactly like you.

B) Although these five groups of people have variations that you do not have, please contemplate about each group AND at least one positive trait you believe they possess. This is positive stereotyping; positive stereotyping is being used to have you experience something a bit different regarding your usual views about variations in humans.

NOW go back to the five groups and write at least one positive trait you do believe each group possesses.

C) As you read over what you have written, contemplate on each group and any positives you listed.

D) As you completed this mindful activity did you notice any biases that came up for you? If yes – what came up?

E) As you completed this mindful activity, did you notice any feelings of compassion that came up about any of the groups or their struggles? If yes – what came up?

F) As you completed this mindful activity, did you notice any subtle shifts in your own perspectives about any of these groups? If yes – what shifted?

Hopefully mindful activities like this one may be helpful in softening your own heart about others – and, perhaps, about yourself.

Compassion, acceptance, and understanding can go a long way in improving relations with others. This is particularly true if the others possess human variations you do not possess.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

September 30, 2014 By Admin

Mindfulness in Journal Writing

Mindfulness Expands the Art of Journal Writing

T. Merton, J. Kerouc, I. Progoff, J. Upton, and others have helped to expand the art or journal writing practice. This type of practice can become your mindfulness practice. You will need to write on a daily basis (even if briefly), and you will need to be highly mindful in the process.

Here is a list of suggestions that may improve your mindful journal writing practice.

Know your intentions, be fully aware, and remain in the present moment.

Pay attention to, concentrate on, and contemplate about your journal writing content.

When you are essence-seeking, utilize J. Upton’s idea on the aperture of awe for inspiration.

Appreciate your willingness to write, inspire yourself to write, be curious, and appreciate the actual act of writing.

Sit in silence just before you begin to write about your inner personal and emotional experiences.

Your experiences will be projected onto the pages of your journal – allow this to flow and notice!

Take a brief mindfulness/contemplative break periodically; be with and one-with what you have written.

You can write about readings, experiences with self and others, or ask and answer questions about life.

Tell stories and narratives about important and less-than-important events and experiences.

Use your mind-body-spirit to connect with your emotions – then write.

Be mindful in the entire process.

Use all your senses and sensory recall about events and experiences.

Witness, behold, and listen inwardly before you write. Repeat this process after you read what you have written.

Allow the journal writing practice to be a meditation.

Consider writing only about positive, helpful events and experiences (if that works best for you).

Hopefully these suggestions will motivate you to write more, write better, or to begin to write of you do not now do so.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

For more information refer to: Barbezat, D. P and Bush, M. (2014). Contemplative Practices in Higher Education. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-BNasss/ Wiley, pp. 110-136. See also Progoff, I. (1992). At a Journal Workshop: Writing to Access the Power of the Unconscious to Evoke Creative Ability. New York: Penguin/Putnam.

August 18, 2014 By Admin

Compassion Training –

Your Regular Practice: Impact on Yourself

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Compassion Training: Here is a quick self-assessment process to see if your regular compassion practice has had positive effects on you. Review the questions below and decide what your answers are.

I hope you have noted pleasant changes.

What changes have you noticed in your:

Emotional experiences?

Emotional reactivity?

Self-concept or self-esteem?

Interpersonal relationships?

Personal suffering process?

Short-term and long-term life goals?

Day-to-day, or even moment-to-moment experiences?

Soft-heartedness?

Generosity?

Kindness?

Overall sense of psychological and physical health?

For more information refer to Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications

Post By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!