Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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Tonglen Ultimate Compassion Meditation

Tonglen Meditation or Giving and Taking

MindfulHappiness-Tonglen

I have added various posts about many compassion practice.  Earlier posts have covered a range of practices – from super-easy to more demanding. Here, I will add a more advanced practice.  This Tibetan compassion meditation practice has been taught often in the Vajrayana school of Buddhism.  In my opinion meditation teacher, Pema Chodron, is perhaps the most gifted trainer in this particular form of compassion practice.  Tonglen, or giving and taking, is a more serious practice and one that sometimes requires more courage than other compassion practices.  Tonglen  emphasizes core Bodhisattva skills and practices; some of its foundations come from the 11th century Indian Master, Atisha.

When I do Tonglen, I like to begin with a ceremony that places my heart and soul in their most sensitive places.  I do the nine bells ceremony (also posted here), in which I ring three Tibetan singing bowls three times each followed by three deep bows with hands in prayer mudra. I do this with deep respect for people in my family who have passed away.  I repeat this ceremony three times.  I do this ceremony slowly. I also like to pay attention to a poem I have written about the dead.  The poem requests that YOU remember the face, smile, eyes, voice, favorite behaviors, and emotional connection between YOU and a significant person who has passed.   I sometimes do loving kindness for myself and others before Tonglen practice. I find that such practices soften us up a bit; these practices place us in a better emotional position to do Tonglen. Are you ready to practice? My instructions are bare bones in detail. Note that preliminaries were based on the dead, but that Tonglen practice is based on people who are suffering right now – people known and unknown to you.  Ultimately, the practice forces us into an insight of non-self-cherishing and giving great compassion and comfort to others. There are many choiceness realties in concentrating, accepting, exchanging and transforming the suffering of others.

  1. First, we become aware of our breath. Begin by using your imagination as if breathing IN dark, heavy, thick, hot, smoky breath and breathing OUT light, floating, smooth, cool, clear breath.  Practice this for a few very slow breaths.
  2. Then focus your attention and empathy on known and unknown people who you know are suffering right now in this present moment.  Be specific in each breathing sequences – a few minutes each. You may wish to begin with a person close to you, a person who is now suffering.  After practicing a while with a person you are close to, you may want to turn your accepting (taking and giving) to other people, perhaps even people you do not know but understand are suffering right now.
  3. Here you practice radically accepting another person’s suffering and pain as your own, and not defending into avoidance or suppression. The practice enhances the belief that we are all inter-dependent, not separate selves of independent origination.
  4. Add more detail to your imagination by having a strong focus on what their suffering FEELS like.  Do not block it. Continue to take it in on your in-breaths. Yes, you are willingly taking in the painful suffering of others. On your out-breaths, do your best to PUSH OUT compassion, feelings of love and caring, your compassionate intelligence, and soft heartedness to the same people.  Allow your soft, caring, loving human heart to do the work.  Taking in pain and suffering, and giving out compassion, caring, concern and love. You may even decide to send out some of your personal joy and happiness.
  5. As a more intensive practice, you may wish to do what Chogyam Trungpa suggested – along with breathing in and out, imagine taking and giving  using every pore in your body. This more intense body practice may be beyond your capacity if you are new to Tonglen.
  6. If at any time you find this practice too strong emotionally for you, it is quite acceptable to stop doing it. Simply shift to loving kindness, etc.
  7. End with a brief loving kindness meditation for yourself.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

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Self-Medication Via Your Hand-Held Devices

Self-Medication:  Is Your Hand-Held Device a  Dopamine Device?

MindfulHappiness_HandHeld_Device-Dopamine

 

Mindfulness Activities:

Here is a simple activity that may inform you about your personal level of addiction to your digital/electronic devices.

Simply click the link below to download the PDF Worksheet;   answer each question according to your personal opinions.  Dr-Anthony-Quintiliani_HandHeldDeviceActivity

Be sure to complete the meditation activity noted at the end of these questions.

1) What is auto-texting?  Do you think you suffer from it? Yes or No?

2) What is auto-texting while driving a vehicle?  Do you think you suffer from it?  Yes or No?

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3) What is sexting? Do you think you are addicted to it?  Yes or No?

4) On a scale from 0 to 10, rate how lonely or uncomfortable you feel when you are without your hand-held device.

5) If you answered “yes” to any of these three questions, what insights do you have about your addiction to your hand-held devices?

6) Have you ever contemplated WHY you must be “on” your hand-held device?  What did you come up with for an answer?

Mindful-Happiness_HandHeldDevice-Dopamine

7) Do you think you are using your hand-held device for connectivity with others as self-medication against your unpleasant feelings? Yes or No?  Do you know what feelings? – depression, anxiety, fear, loneliness, or other?

8) MEDITATION ON YOUR DEVICE –  Please do this meditation activity.  

Shut OFF your hand-held dopamine device, and sit with it in front of you.  Allow the device to serve as your object of meditation.  Just sit and observe it.  Be sure it is off.  When your mind wonders off onto another thought, simply bring your attention (pure awareness) back to your device.  Notice if you work hard at just sitting looking at your device.  Clock how long you can just sit observing your device without any attempt to turn it ON to use it.  Notice if this is difficult for you.  Score (from 0 to 100) how difficult it is for you to sit (looking at your device) for at least 20 minutes without turning it ON or USING it.  A higher score (0ver 50) implies that you may be addicted to your device.  Another way to consider your level of addiction is to see HOW LONG you can just sit and look at your device without turning it on, doing something else, or using it.  If you cannot do this for at least 20 minutes, you may be addicted to the device.

9) How do you feel now that you may know the extent of your addiction to your hand-held device?   Some people experience such a strong addiction that they seek professional help from licensed helpers with expertise in habitual behavior.

May you be mindful;

May you be more calm;

May you be healthier;

May you be happier; and,

May you live with more joy and less suffering.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

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