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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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November 26, 2017 By Admin

More on Mindful Breathing

More on Mindful Breathing

  1. Whole-Heart Breathing – I have modified and expanded this great process from Thich Nhat Hanh.  If comfortable close your eyes and simply breathe calming and deeply for a few breaths. Add you personal half smile and allow the soothing (sometimes very subtle) sensation to spread all over your face.  Do not think about it happening, just allow it to happen. Now feel it down to the sides of your neck and out to your shoulders.  Simply allow soothing subtle sensation to spread this way. Move it down the arms all the way to your fingertips. Recall a substance-free happy experience and smile more. Feel the emotion, even perhaps love. Now slowly and gently place both hands over your heart and rock gently.  Continue for a couple minutes. Notice!
  2. Gratitude breathing –  Breathe calmly, deeply and simply focus all of your attention on at least five things you know you have personal gratitude for. Sometimes very simply things can be very powerful here.
  3. Quicken-Breath – Breathe deeply and quick for a few breaths. Inhale through your nose and push the exhale out through your mouth. Force the exhalation out so you can here a quick puff. Blow the exhalation out. Continue for 5-6 breaths. Notice!
  4. Body-Breathing – Practice abdominal breathing for a few breaths. Now imagine and visualize the healing energy of the in-breath bringing wellness to your whole body.  On the exhalation, imagine and visualize the out-breath removing all toxic feelings and substances from your body. Continue for 7-8 breaths.
  5. Stranding Tall Breath – Now stand up and assume the horse posture (feet at shoulders’ width apart and back gently straight.  As you inhale deeply raise your arms from your sides upward toward the ceiling or sky. Imagine bringing in healing energy from your feet to the top of your head on each inhalation. As you exhale slowly bring arms down at the end. Continue for 5-6 breaths. Notice!
  6. Quintiliani’s  Healing Breath – Practice abdominal breathing for a few breaths. Now imagine that with each inhalation you bring in something you seek (feelings of joy, calmness, safety, etc.).  Practice for a while. Now imagine that with each exhalation you remove from your body-mind all negative mood states (sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, etc.). Practice this for a while.  Now do both – in with the good and out with the unhelpful.  Notice!

For more refer to Quintiliani, A. R. (2014). Mindful Happiness…Shelburne, VT: Red Barn Books.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Breathing, Breathing, Featured, Inner Peace, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Practices Tagged With: BREATHING, MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICE

October 20, 2017 By Admin

Relational Suffering and Buddhist Practice

Relational Suffering and Buddhist Practice

Recently I experienced a deep, sudden, afflictive emotional experience. This sudden and profound sense of loss was due to temporary heartbreak; the temporary heartbreak dealt with rejection from a younger woman I found to be interesting and attractive (inside and outside). My “lost” person seemed to possess all the attachment cravings characteristics I desired, was a fellow “stream crosser,” and an intelligent person; she was also strongly engaged in nature, exercise, reading, Buddhism, and clinical practice. So many things in common! However, after spending what appeared to be quality time together hiking, reading, and enjoying a great dinner, she decided against continuation of our short-lived relationship. The “spark” she felt no longer glowed, and she ended our relationship before it had any full substance of being.  My age was also a factor. Ah, impermanence!  Oh, yes, I was quite aware – very  mindful about my desire and craving.  Such is samsara and the Four Noble Truths.

My immediate emotional experience was like what C. Darwin described in his book, The Expression of Emotion in Man and Animals. A key theme for Darwin was that human emotion intensified after being expressed, and once expressed it became difficult to suppress or repress. Another theme clarified that human survival was based on the ability to passively accept emotion in the present moment. This should sound familiar to readers of this blog site.  Darwin was so far ahead of his time!  In Buddhism impermanence, dependent origination, and no-self all support one’s radical acceptance of emotional dissatisfaction in the moment, and the calm abiding of moving on from it. In fact, radical acceptance of afflictive emotions may be a flexible mental and bodily form of moving through the pain. I had experienced this in my life when I practiced vipassana, loving kindness, and other meditations on loss, grief and mourning due to the unexpected death of my loving wife, Ellie. In the end, we are all left with our experience of emptiness. Ultimately, we are all alone.

Susan Piver’s The Wisdom of a Broken Heart offers much about the devastating dissatisfaction one experiences when a significant relationship ends. At the same time, however, the experience may open up a pathway to greater spiritual and emotional transformation. This suffering may help us become emotionally stronger and resilient, may help us become more internally centered. In Buddhism emotional “feelings” may be pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In the end current or contemporary reality has little to do with ultimate reality. We may also experience abandonment anxiety, fearing or suspecting that we will be left alone; once the loss experience happens, we find ourselves in abandonment depression – we have in fact been left alone. For some people these are normal cycles of life. For most of us this is not true.

Becoming fully aware and not running from the raw emotional pain in our meditation, I think, is the WAY to go. Caution – DO NOT do this if you are not an experienced meditator. In my journey through emotional suffering I practiced tranquil samatha, insight clarity of vipassana, single-pointed concentration of samadhi, liberating zazen, and loving kindness (including the dead). Vipassana, loving kindness, and J. Kornfield’s guided meditations of painful emotional experience were the most helpful in my own transformation. In some strange and difficult way, it all came together in prajna wisdom about ultimate reality. Of course my recent disappointment was nothing like the painful depths of serious loss, grief and mourning. Nevertheless, it is still strong suffering.  At one point for a brief period I found myself “feeling” strong dissatisfaction and deep-seated aloneness.   It was pure sadness, and it was the purification that sadness can bring. L. Rinzler in Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heart Broken notes that mind training through regular meditation usually moderates our emotional reactivity. Yes, I did not get what I desired – simply another lesson about attachment and craving. Moving through such pain is all about calm abiding as you face it, experience it, and make space for it in you mind-body-heart system.

In the September, 2017, issue of Lion’s Roar there is a series of brief writings about love, its benefits, limitations, and consequences. The questions we need to ask are: Who am I? Why am I here? What is ultimate versus samsaric happiness – and dissatisfaction. The Buddha’s teaching in the Metta Sutra include the hope that we ALL will be peaceful and happy. And yes, may we all live free from enmity and danger. May we all learn how to deal with suffering (the first arrow) without sending the second arrow (our mental, emotional, behavioral responses) into our souls. We may suffer  much in relational interactions because the level of love is high, thus the emotional reaction to loss is also high. In these short writings, much is offered to us. J. Kornfield calls us to practice loving kindness meditation. K. Neff recommends more self-compassion – always a good idea – and S. Salzberg calls for more generosity. J. Lief tells us to practice meditation with space, ultimately sharing that space with others. P. Chodron believes we need more tonglen practice. These experts all offer wisdom-based, wise-mind instructions on how to deal with love and its loss, human joy and human suffering. We are left with the realization that the most important thing is to “enjoy” happiness in the present moment when we experience it, and know that we cannot cling to it. Our ultimate reality is not the same as our contemporary reality.

So my many readers, rest yourselves in the deep ocean of inner peace and tranquil being. When you experience emotional suffering in relationships, contemplate and meditate – finding your true path to your inner Buddha-nature. Remain kind to yourself and to others. May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be free from suffering. May you be happy. May you find the “middle way” to live with ease.

For more information refer to The Dalai Lama and Goleman, D. (2003). Destructive Emotions: How We Can Overcome Them. New York: Bantam Books; Darwin, C. (1890, 1921 Edn.).The Expression of Emotion in Man and Animals. London, UK: Murray; Piver, S. (2009). The Wisdom of a Broken Heart. NY: Simon and Schuster; Rinzler, L. (2016). Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heart Broken. Bolder, CO: Shambhala Publications; and, Lion’s Roar (September, 2017). pp. 43-54.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Breathing, Buddhism, Featured, Meditation, Personal Suffering, Practices, Relational Suffering, Relationships, Suffering Tagged With: EMOTIONAL, MEDITATION, RELATIONAL SUFFERING

September 30, 2017 By Admin

The “I AM THAT” Meditation

The “I AM THAT” Meditation

Elena Brower’s new book, Practice You: A Journal (Sounds True, 2017) has many thoughtful suggestions on how to connect with the true inner self, and – more importantly – how to improve your self-views and the experience of your deep inner self. Below I have modified her presentation of the “I Am Exploration” meditation.  My modifications bring in very subtle Vedanta and cognitive-behavioral implications. This is a quick, useful, and relatively easy meditation to practice. Here are the modified instructions.

 

  1.  Sit in a comfortable meditation posture and add a hand mudra of your choice.
  2. Become as grounded as possible, and begin to breathe slow, deep, rhythmic breaths.
  3. Continue to deepen and slow your breathing, and be inside your present moment body.
  4. Be your slow, deep breath. Decide if you wish your eyes to be opened or closed.
  5. Now contemplate how you view yourself. Do so in a general manner for now.
  6. Decide on a few key words and images that you feel define you – the “I Am” part of you.
  7. Decide what your current attitude is about who/what you are.
  8. Are you satisfied? Are you content? Are you happy? Are you overly anxious or depressed?
  9. Regarding who you are now and what you wish to become, what is your most powerful emotional need right now?
  10. Contemplate meeting this emotional need. What have you noticed about your inner peace and wisdom?
  11. Now deeply meditate on how you will make one change that brings you closer emotionally to your most pressing emotional need.  What do you need to do? When will you do it? Who will help you?
  12. Notice any insights and body-based sensations that have come up during this process.
  13. Sit quietly for a moment before ending this meditation.  Contemplate the implications.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Benefits of Meditation, Elena Brower, Featured, Love and Kindness, Meditation, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, ELENA BROWSER, MEDITATION, PRACTICE YOU

August 1, 2017 By Admin

Loving Kindness Meditation from The Buddha

Loving Kindness Meditation from The Buddha

Loving Kindness Meditation (hereafter LKM) is, perhaps, one of the most popular meditation practices in the world. What many practitioners do not know is that one form of it came directly from The Buddha. Along with LKM wisdom we also are guided by the enlightened words of The Dalai Lama and Thubten Chodron.  In their  Approaching the Buddhist Path: The Library of Wisdom and Compassion, Vol. 1, they emphasize how we humans are highly emotional by nature. As we experience pleasure, neutrality, or pain we also respond via emotional evaluations, thoughts, and actions. Our basis for emotional experience can either be constructive (caring, kind, and loving) or afflictive (greed, aversion, and anger), and can lead to long-term happiness or misery. What differentiates Buddhist Psychology from Western Psychology (say CBT for example), is that Buddhism maintains a focus on longer-term changes, changes than can transform into true joy and happiness or become habitual suffering and pain. Impermanence does not end. One may become a joyous person living a wholesome life, to one may become hopelessly trapped in samaric misery. By living a life of caring, generosity, compassion, and non-harming humans can attain deeper, true happiness in the long run. One way to achieve such a result is by practicing/living according to LKM and compassion for others.  Beyond meditation alone, however, is the trie land of walking the walk, practicing the practice in your personal life.

In the Metta Sutra (Karaniyametta Sutra of Theravada Buddhism) as noted by The Buddha in The Suttanipata presents as a potentially protective sutra; by following these principles and practices, one lives by wholesome values, virtue, gentleness, inner peace,  humility, conscious self-control, and kindness. Thus not only the person practicing but all who encounter that person live within a deeper protective and tranquil experience. Below I will note certain statements noted by The Buddha. As you practice this form of LKM, ask yourself if you are living the true path of his message.

May all beings be happy and secure; May they be inwardly happy…

[May] no one…deceive another…[May] no one…wish suffering for another…

[May] one…develop loving-kindness – a state of mind without boundaries – …toward the whole world…

Whether standing, walking, sitting, or lying…one…resolve[s] on this mindfulness: they call this a divine dwelling here…

Possessing good behavior, endowed with vision, having removed greed for sensual pleasures,

One never again comes back to…[these]…

If you do not find these statements to be fulfilling, you can always go back to: May I and all beings be safe, healthy, free from suffering, happy and living wth ease.

For more information refer to The Dalai Lama and Thubten Chodron (2017). Approaching the Buddhist Path: The Library of Wisdom and Compassion,  Vol. 1. Boston, MA: Wisdom Publications.  See also Bhikkhu Bodhi (2017). Loving Kindness. Boston, MA: Wisdom Publications.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: Buddhism, Featured, Loving Kindness, Meditation, Meditation Activities, MIndfulness, Self Care Tagged With: BUDDHA, LOVE AND KINDNESS, MEDITATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS, PSYCHOLOGY

June 30, 2017 By Admin

Henry David Thoreau and Walking Meditation

Henry David Thoreau  & Walking Meditation

Henry David Thoreau is, perhaps, the most individualistic of the American Transcendentalists. He asked us to consider what we have learned that is useful as we travel our own “stream of life.” He cautions us not to regret when we die that we “had not lived.” He advised us to stop hurrying about, and consider slowing down. This is a good mindfulness path. Major contributions he made to the art and skill of walking meditation have often be forgotten, So here, I will refresh our memories about what this sage taught us.  See the list below and try your best to practice this way the next time you do walking meditation in nature.

  1. When you walk just saunter at will, and be the nature you are beholding. Walk and move about without any conscious destination in mind. Be there with mindful enjoyment!
  2. Probably influenced by Eastern thought on this topic, Thoreau advised us to walk with aware joy, then at some point turn around and roughly retrace your steps back to where you began.
  3. When walking, do your best to free yourself from “worldly engagements.” Allow the sun’s light, the windy air, stars and moon to enter your body.
  4. Allow nature’s “subtle magnetism” to embrace you.  See if you notice an inner felt sense of being “joyous and serene.”
  5. In many ways nature is a sacred place (santum santorum). Allow yourself to be where good things are “wild and free.”
  6. Walking meditation in a natural setting can lead us to eventual liberation from daily suffering and fears.  It is a healing practice.
  7. He recognized nature as our mothers. Thoreau wanted us to rest and heal in the sun’s “informing light.”
  8. To get the most out of walking meditation, one must stay in the present “of this moment.”
  9. Intentionally bathe yourself in happy silence. Allow, allow, allow the healing power of nature to enter our mind-heart-body of being.
  10. Practice more, and enjoy yourself more.

For more information refer to Thoreau, H. D. (1937, 1965 Edn.). (Edited by B. Atkinson). Walden and Other Writings...New York: Modern Library, pp. 597-634.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Thoreau, Walking Meditation Tagged With: MEDITATION, MINDFUL PRACTICE, MINDFULNESS, THOREAU, WALKING MEDITATION

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