CHOICE MAKING Archives - Mindful Happiness

September 7, 2014 By Admin

Choice-Making Skills

Using Meditation, Yoga and Breathing…

You can Anchor your Choice Making

A key outcome of serious practice is that you now reduce auto-pilot reactivity to people, places, things, emotions, sensations, craving, and memories and at the same time notice your mind CAN BE in charge of your brain-body reactions. Yes, regular daily mindfulness practice allows you more mind-power to make decisions on how to respond to unhelpful events in life. You notice that you are less apt to react impulsively (with habits of anger, anxiety, depression, avoidance, aggression, self-medication, etc.) and more apt to respond thoughtfully, even compassionately. To enhance these changes in HOW you live your life, how your mindful-mind helps you to respond constructively to challenges, I will suggest several regular practices below.

In 1995 T. K. V. Desikachar noted that having the capacity to intentionally direct one’s mind is a fundamentally important core mindfulness skill. I have often reminded my own secular meditation students that “You are not your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, sensations, or memories. You are beyond, more than, these random firings of brain cells.” True, all these experiences may shape us in both positive and negative ways, and if unhelpful they may cause higher levels of stress, angst, and despair. However, mind training via regular meditation or yoga practice allows your mind to slow the impulsive reactions and to THINK about (contemplate) what an appropriate response might be. As you become more wise-mind skilled, your repeated and improved responses eventually compete with habitual impulsive reactions – thereby creating helpful brain plasticity for a calmer and happier life. These changes take time to normalize in our mind and body. It is very wise to use selective attention – paying more attention to neutral and positive/helpful experiences than to negative/unhelpful experiences. Do not avoid corrective changes you may need to make, but do not focus attention on unhelpful events and realities.

The practice of Samatha or calm abiding meditation, in which your single pointed concentration is on more positive/helpful thoughts, emotions, and memories may be helpful here. Likewise practicing various meditation and yoga breathing patterns will help calm your reactive body and center you mind’s attention. Often an effective mantra can be helpful: when I notice the arising of unhelpful energy in my mind or body I often say to myself “be calm, be kind.” What mantra self-talk might be helpful to you? Sometimes bringing your focus of attention to your soft heart energy can help. Many major spiritual traditions practice contemplating/imagining white or golden-white light coming from the heart area. It may help to gently place both hands over your heart. Try this, and allow the healing light to soothe you. Other helpful practices that reduce your suffering and may increase your joy are: thinking radical acceptance regarding things you cannot change; finding more personal meaning in your life; being more self-compassionate; practicing slow, full-body body scans; doing spiritual rituals; and, resting in shavasana (lying resting pose) or yoga nidra may comfort you.

Try some of these practices. on a regular basis.

See what improvements you notice.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

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For more information refer to Nurries Stearns, M. and Nurries Stearns, R. (2013). Yoga for Emotional Trauma: Meditations and Practices for Healing Pain and Suffering. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, pp. 170-191. See also Miller, R. (2005). Yoga Nidra: A Meditative Practice for Deep relaxation and Healing. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.

Deepak Chopra Ideas on “The Future of God” – Part 1 Deepak Chopra’s new book, The Future of God… (2014) presents some very challenging perspective on spirituality, atheism, and formal religion. Here I will simply present some paraphrased details and my own ideas on these topics. Basic Foundations Human beings have special talents for searching […]

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Buddhist Thought on Joy and Suffering 1) You actually DO have some control over your emotional destiny. 2) The core “conceptual” view of reality is that your inner emotional experience – especially negative afflictive emotional states related to people, places and things you REACT to – are perceived as totally true. 3) In a non-conceptual […]

Vipassana Meditation: Impermanence Although standard vipassana meditation practice leading to insight about the true nature of reality does not recommend what I am about to do, I plan to do it anyway. This meditation center is all about innovation in practice and generalization regarding the benefits of meditation for both regular meditators and novices. Below […]

Forgiveness Meditation Practice – Mindful Happiness – Dr Anthony Quintiliani Sit comfortably in a meditation posture. Allow your breath to remain natural without any intentional modification. Allow your body to relax, and allow your mind to be open to and to expect forgiveness. Focus attention on your heart area deep within your soul, and allow […]

Many Benefits of Mindfulness and Vipassana Meditation The Dalai Lama (Gyatso, Tenzin), the world leader of Tibetan Buddhism, and Paul Ekman, the world famous Psychologist of human emotions, have teamed up to discuss how to use mindful emotional awareness skills to become more emotionally balanced and compassionate. These two highly skilled practitioners have listed 21 […]

Expanded Lectio Divina for Self-Development In this post I will provide an expanded version of this process by combining information from Origen, the Carthusian Monk Guigo II, and Augustine of Hippo. The presented process of 12 steps may be used to enhance internalization of sacred writing and/or to support internal healing of the participants. […]

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Trauma: Object Relations Therapy Object relations therapists, D. W. Winnicott especially, have presented a logical analysis on how to provide object-relations-oriented therapy to people suffering from the effects of psychological trauma. Such attachment-based trauma therapy provides support and healing from trauma, loss and long-term trauma-effects. The interventions below combine the best of object relations therapy, […]

Using Creativity in Clinical Supervision Effective clinical supervision is a combination of hearable direction about clinical practice, gentle-direct leadership, clinical “Know-How,” evidence-based skills, complex psychodynamics, and the willingness to work with others on their developmental processes. There are risks involved. I have provided clinical supervision and consultation to other clinicians for 43 years without a […]

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Relational Suffering and Buddhist Practice Recently I experienced a deep, sudden, afflictive emotional experience. This sudden and profound sense of loss was due to temporary heartbreak; the temporary heartbreak dealt with rejection from a younger woman I found to be interesting and attractive (inside and outside). My “lost” person seemed to possess all the attachment […]

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Practice: Mindful Actions to Improve YOUR Self-Esteem Improving Your Awareness with Practice Remain mindfully aware of the content and meta-cognition regarding the “speaking” of your inner, self-conscious critic. Note what trends appear in the conversation. Remain mindfully aware of the reactions your mind and body experience regarding the activity of your inner self-critic in dealing […]

Trauma Informed Care – Avoidance Process Although more and more clinicians are learning about and using principles/practices of Trauma Informed Care, too few understand the behavioral dynamics of negative reinforcement in the avoidance of trauma-related cues (people, places, things, internal sensations, emotions and images). This post will give a very brief description of negative reinforcement […]