BE YOUR TRUE SELF Archives - Mindful Happiness

June 15, 2019 By Admin

In-Depth Means to Discover and Be Your True Self

Henry David Thoreau reminded us that it is not what you look at, but it is what you see that matters. How do you SEE yourself? John Muir reminded us that the sun shines in us as well as in our souls. Do you find “the healing light” in your soul? The following “thinkers” have provided some interested self-search methods for us to consider; try some of these to find your own true self and be grateful.

Arvni Nan Futuronsky, Thomas Moore, and Christopher Germer – According to these people, finding the true center of the true self requires a mindfully deep questing processes, which may include regular silent meditation and inner self-contemplation. Being stuck in past struggles, painful experiences, and general suffering block not only finding our true self but also it’s healing capacities. Likewise being stuck in anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, trauma, addictions (including “I-Smartphone” addiction), self-doubt, and non-stop critical thinking – all harm our true self and keep us in cyclical patterns of suffering and despair. Samsara is dominant here. These are very serious problems, and they are not overcome without considerable personal effort. However, locating and “seeing” the good of your true self will enable you to grow and be happier. Confirm and affirm yourself! Use your self-leadership to experience pure self-compassion and maintain a mindfully oriented mind. Find your strengths and pleasures in art, literature, poetry, nature, metaphors, myth, random movements, and facial expressions of pleasure. Spend more personal and silent time in nature. Study, experience, and appreciate these many resources of the self. With regular practice improved habits of mind-body realities will occur in both self-narratives and behavioral ways. You must practice regularly. Trade some “worry time” for beneficial practice time.

J. Belmont in Embrace Your Greatness.. recommends that you unconditionally and radically accept yourself as being “good enough” (D.W. Winnicott). It is not a problem to have human imperfections; our race if loaded with imperfections – it is normal. Our highly competitive and sometimes violent society, however, entrains us to focus on negatives in life. Even our brain is designed to emphasize negatives; the human Limbic System is designed for survival, thus our focus on negatives may be part of our genetic heritage to survive. To improve regularly practice letting go of your inner critical voices – your own inner voice as well as critical, projected voices from others. Do not respond to typical, habitual, conditioned “shoulds.” Emphasize and take advantage of your own possible post-traumatic growth. Seek it in yourself and it will be there. Pay very close attention to your personal strengths, and take the time to list them and read them periodically. Meditate, practice yoga, and remain mindful daily.

Other Things to Do

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – If you know this approach, use it’s diffusion and distancing techniques often. Clarification here is beyond the scope of this post. Google it, or look up information available on this blog site.
Kundalini Yoga – Certain easy and energetic practices of taking in and pushing out may be helpful . The approach using your arms to take into the body something you want and saying “YES” with louder and louder force might help you. Likewise, using your arms to push out something you do not want and saying “NO” (with louder force) in the process can be helpful. Teaching you this is beyond the scope of this post. Google it.
Likewise using Loving Kindness Meditation and Yoga Nidra processes are often helpful to us humans. Once again, it is not the focus of this blog post to teach you these practices. Google them, or look them up elsewhere in this blog site. Practice! Practice! Practice!

For more information you may wish to refer to Belmont, J. (2019). Embrace Your Greatness…Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

December 31, 2017 By Admin

Mindfulness & Happiness – Tools

In this post I will provide basic instructions for several mind-body practices that allow calm equanimity both at rest and in action. We will cover RAIN, RAINDROP, Cloud Journeying, Gratitude, Tapping, and other Body-Based practices.

RAIN (Tara Brach) – This simple to use approach helps you to maintain a cognitive focus, thus reducing limbic system reactivity. Simply say to yourself: “RAIN.” R is for recognition of what you are experiencing right now, right here. A is for radically accepting that you cannot simply avoid it; it is happening to you so you must accept it in this present moment. I is for investigate/interest. Bring sincere interest to the experience and investigate what is happening and why it is happening. N is for non-identification or no-self. Is this happening to me or just happening with me in the environment. After the RAIN analysis, simply breathe calmly and quiet down your emotional system. Think: “What should I do right now?” Do it! See what happens.
RAINDROP (Michele McDonald) – Add to RAIN by cognitively considering if you are: (D) Distracted or aware of recognition, (R) Resisting or accepting, (O) Oblivious or interested/investigating, and (P) Personalizing or non-identifying? Stop the DROPs.
Cloud Journeying (Mariam Gates & Sarah Jane Hinder) – Lying down comfortably with hands placed gently by your sides, breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Close your eyes and slightly extend your exhalation for 10 breaths. Keep the length and force of the exhalation steady for all ten breaths.
Now allow yourself to imagine being lifted gently, floating into the air safely. Use your imagination and land yourself gently in any environment/place you desire your mind-body to be. Feel the peace and equanimity as your breathe deeply and slowly at that selected location. Rest there in your mind! Check to see if your emotional condition has improved.
Deep Gratitude (David Whyte) – Rest, breathe calmly, and allow yourself to have gratitude for the simple things in your life. Have an inner conversation, in which you say sub-vocally “Thank you” for…… Repeat this process until you note at least ten simple things you do have right now in your life. Go deeper; appreciate the sacredness of your cherished human life. Breathe calmly and rest.
Body Tapping – Callahan Technique or EFT (Amy Kurtz) – If trained to do so, try this tapping sequence. Take a few breaths and do your best to decide what emotional experience you wish to clear out of your reactive mind and body. For example “I am anxious.” Now begin your phrase or mantra: “Even though I am anxious, I love and accept myself.” Now with 2-3 finger tips tap on each of the following meridian points about 8 times and say your mantra out loud as you tap. Here is the point tapping sequence: a) softer side of hands between wrist and small finger; b) the spot where your inner eyebrows begin; c) outside of the eyes next to the side of each eye; d) upper part of eye sockets below the middle of the eye; e) center space between nose and upper lip; f) indented spot on chin below lower lip; g) the spot an inch below the lower edge of the breastbone next to your throat indentation; h) 3-4 inches below arm pits at at softer but dense area; and, i) the center of the crown of your head. Evaluate your emotional condition, and repeat this tapping sequence as needed. If things become worse, seek professional help. Remember, our emotions are very powerful human experiences.
BE Your True Self (M. A. Singer, etc.) – Some key ways to counteract typical negative emotional habit formations are listed below. a) Recognize that your true spiritual self is the opposite of your ego-defensive, reactive self; b) mindfully recognize what part of your self is unhappy/disturbed when things do not go the way you want them to go; c) notice your defensive-ego, self-ideal protectiveness when you engage in repetitive, emotionally reactive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors – almost always stimulated by external events; d) understand that our brain and body are built to seek pleasure and avoid pain (Freud) and to respond to external experiences with pleasant or unpleasant internal “feeling” responses (The Buddha); e) Get into the cognitive habit of reframing all negative reactions – seek what alternative interpretation might apply; f) Note that when you live emotionally in the past, certain suppressed/repressed experiences stay alive emotionally in you; g) Recognize that when you live fearing the future, you again trap yourself in a negative expectancy syndrome; and, h) Practice this – breathe calmly, relax your body, do yoga and meditate, walk, calms your reactive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors – and consciously LET GO of the experiential reaction over and over and over again. Make this your practice. Things may improve.
The Six Best Friends (The Buddha, etc.) – Whenever you experience pain and suffering, try this psycho-physiological intervention. Do these six things in a cycle; see if your inner experience improves. You may need to repeat the process. Smile, Breathe calmly and deeply, Sit, Stand still, Move your body, Walk a while, then try lying down for a couple minutes. Repeat as needed. Feeling any better?

There are many sources for these suggestions. The 6th item is based somewhat on Live Interview: M. A. Singer on The Untethered Soul…New Harbinger and Non-Duality Press. Retrieved 12-11-17.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Happiness Path – The 14th Dalai Lama His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama has suggested, among many other important things, that humans may experience true inner happiness by regular practice on the path to enlightenment. In his 2012 book, From Here to Enlightenment, he noted that personal happiness may be attained via specific behaviors and ways of […]

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare” This post will discuss the topic and personal strategies. Most content will relate to both physical realities and metaphorical meanings and categories. Since a person viewing their self as fighting a spiritual war most likely holds onto certain parts of self in this endeavor, it is highly unlikely that the […]

Spiritual Mantras from Buddhism Spiritual Mantras: Mantra practice is certainly not informal Buddhism, nor is it a way to apply practical mindfulness skills to life. The path of mantra practice is much deeper than the psychological applications for good health. Mantra practice is a highly important part of formal Buddhist practice, especially on the spiritual […]

Treating Depression – A Mindful Approach The following approach does not represent a complete intervention sequence in clinical depression; however, the steps noted may be helpful if/when clinicians find their typical interventions are not working. The approach noted here assumes that formal assessment of depression has taken place (objective measure), and that the clinician has a way […]

“i Rest” Yoga Nidra Practice (Richard Miller, Ph.D.) All regular meditation and yoga practices are capable of bringing us closer to our true self and our relationships in the world. A by-product is deep relaxation and equanimity. Richard Miller, Ph.D. (Clinical Psychologist, yogic scholar, spiritual teacher), has created a yoga nidra practice that promises to […]

Mindful Equanimity and Homeostasis Neuroscientist Antonio Demasio’s new book The Strange Order of Things: Life, Feeling, and the Making of Culture. (2018) New York: Pantheon Books notes the very important role homeostasis plays in human life and well being. In some ways homeostasis is about the arising, falling, and balancing out of all things important to human […]

Using Mindfulness and Contemplation in Education and Therapy During the past few months I have been engaged with four small groups regarding how to use mindfulness and contemplation in education and/or therapy. The groups have variations: two groups are university faculty members meeting to discuss specific books related to these topics; one group is in […]

Mindful Leadership Skills: How to Lead in Wise Mind Ways Researchers dealing with leadership skills have noted several acquired characteristics of effective leaders. These same skills may be used in spreading “the word” about how mindfulness and wise mind practices reduce stress reactivity, enhance compassion, and expand the possibilities for human happiness, inner peace and […]

Tolerance: Mastering Your Egos Impulses It is reported that Ajahn Chah said: “Buddhism is a religion of the heart. Only this. One who practices to develop the heart is one who practices Buddhism.” This statement has merit in today’s highly competitive society. The 14th Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh have made similar statements. […]

Mindfulness, Movement, and Meditation Practices Meditation Master Thich Nhat Hanh offers some of the most helpful mindfulness, movement, and meditation instructions available today. His themes here are about reducing your suffering, increasing your satisfactions, and expanding your happiness as a result. Please do not note that “I do not have time to do these things!” […]

In-Depth Means to Discover and Be Your True Self Henry David Thoreau reminded us that it is not what you look at, but it is what you see that matters. How do you SEE yourself? John Muir reminded us that the sun shines in us as well as in our souls. Do you find “the […]

Enhancing Hope in Psychotherapy The enhancement of personal hope is a key part of successful psychotherapy practice. Some view this requirement as a foundational aspect of the therapeutic alliance; others do not hold the same view. In the case of serious co-occurring disorders, especially trauma and substance misuse, initiating, developing, and sustaining a hopeful future-view […]

Mindful Movement as Part of Practice Mindful movement is an accepted part of regular practice. Such practices as walking meditation, more vigorous yoga asanas, qi gong, and tail chi are all part of this respected mindfulness tradition. Here I will introduce you to a very simple pre-meditation movement sequence. Hope you practice it very soon. […]

Brain Habits – Helpful Vs Unhelpful Nora Volkow, MD, Director, National Institute on Drug Abuse ( video below) has noted that people suffering from addictions may experience some dysfunction in in brain areas related to personal motivation, reward recognition, and inhibitory controls. Neuroscientists have utilized various brain imaging techniques to document this possibility in addicted individuals. These […]

Practice: Yogi Deep Meditation on Inner Listening Carl Jung noted: Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside, awakens. The Katha Upanishads (800-400 BCE) noted: One path leads outward and the other inward. [The] way inward leads to grace. The Mind Cave Focus instructs us to close our eyes and expand your third-eye space to the back of […]

Showing Deep Love & Respect Loved Ones Lost This is a very brief post about love and respect for “lost loved ones” – those special people who have left their human body and mind behind. Two Rituals 1) Loving Kindness Meditation for Lost Loved Ones After breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes in silence, […]

Counseling/Psychotherapy with Self-Compassion Please begin by ending all conversations, and PLEASE shut-off your phones and/or laptops. Simply be for a moment in the quietude of your inner self. Please close your eyes if you wish to do so. Contemplate the sacred nature of your profession – saving lives, reducing suffering, being a constant object, practicing […]

From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation, Monkton, Vermont – Five Breathing and Meditation Practices – Attention and concentration on the breath are common practices to attune meditation capacity. We use the breath as an object of attention in our mind training. The better your quality of attention and concentration, the better […]

-The Word, Sound, Meditation, and Music are all Timeless A Tribute to Elvis Presley and his Music The word has been associated with human consciousness. The word requires the energy of sound to hear it. Meditation places us in a most receptive state of mind and body; it allows us to be open to our […]

Self-Care as Ritual Self-care for Americans is often considered a luxury. Due to our technological demands and addictions (Demons as they are), and the slow slipping of our economic structures, we are often at the mercy of the bottom line at work. Over-paid CEOs and CFOs and their many assistants eat up so, so much […]