Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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August 15, 2019 By Admin

Advanced Practice in Tara Brach’s RAIN Protocol

Advanced Practice in Tara Brach’s RAIN Protocol

So often we humans find ourselves in a state of limbic disarray, with ego defenses stimulating our need to protect ourselves from others – even from ourselves. We feel something is very wrong in this moment, and we allow separateness to pull us into a frenzied effort to escape pain and suffering. At such times our most deeply hidden negative self-views strengthen and dominate. We will do almost anything to escape the aloneness and self-alienation. Endless impulses to seek what is wrong and forget what is right take over our emotional lives. It is at such times of strong emotional challenge that we need to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. Tara Brach’s creation of the RAIN process is a huge leap in a sane direction. According to Brach, RAIN helps us overcome tendencies to activate the “second arrow” of suffering; our second arrows are caused by unhelpful thoughts, feelings, emotions, body sensations, and behaviors related to the “first arrow.” The first arrow is the original event or experience that caused our pain and suffering. Often our reactivity to it makes matters worse – we suffer more in our own minds and bodies. Below I will review the RAIN process and make additional comments on its usefulness and versatility in ongoing self-care and emotional self-regulation. The practice of RAIN skills is appropriate for all people – helpers and helpees.

  1. The first step of RAIN is recognition of what we are experiencing in this moment. What is happening now and how am I experiencing it in mind, body, heart and soul? This focus is on our inner emotional experience, and the causes and conditions creating them. Strong attention is necessary here. Recognition requires a cognitive shift from the auto-pilot of fear, pain, and desire to escape into a mental state of mindful attention in the now. We recognize our thoughts, emotions, sensations, behaviors, and habitual action urges.  This momentary shift into control helps our prefrontal executive brain to take action, and reduces limbic dominance in unpleasant experiences. For now, we are no longer at the mercy of negative emotional events and experiences. In fact we are at the starting point of liberation. We are participating in the experience and our responses to it. Like in DBT, we may find ourselves describing what we have now recognized. Tell yourself what you are experiencing and remain strong, emotionally. We may notice that anxiety, fear, depression, addiction – even some aspects of trauma – begin to transform slightly via the relatively simple cognitive act of recognition.
  2. The second step of RAIN is radical acceptance of the experience of pain and suffering in this present moment. This means that we allow whatever pain and suffering we are experiencing in this moment. With self-kindness we may place our hand over our heart (Thich Nhat Hanh) and breathe into the accepted experience of suffering. We learn to hold ourselves in loving self-presence within the limited space and time of the negative experience. We may experience self-compassion in this process. The act of allowing implies a strong “yes” to whatever is happening now, and it also implies an intention to become capable of handling the experience. This is similar but not exactly what D. W. Winnicott described in how humans are “going on being.” With self-compassion and self-acknowledgement, we allow ourselves to be in this unpleasant experience of suffering. This process, obviously, takes some courage to do. If the suffering involves other people, Winnicott’s view of “intersubjective space” and Kohut’s view of “experience-near empathy” may apply. We have moved from fear and suffering to recognition and now emotional oneness with the experience. Now it is time to add more cognitive control to the process, thus expanding emotional regulation.
  3. The third step  of RAIN is to investigate why now. This is a more cognitive intervention of analysis, analysis of our environment, belief, needs, and strengths. This shift enables us to stop negatively judging ourselves and others; this shift bring a more true presence into the emotional feeling state. Again, the cognitive intervention brings more stability to mind and body in the experience of suffering. Investigating enhances the meditative stance of the observing mind: I am not this experience (anxiety, fear, depression, anger, small-self, marginalization, etc.) , but I am experiencing this! At times this one realization can bring relief from negative emotional triggers embedded in our lives. We may experience pain and suffering in the process, but we are doing so with great mindful discernment. We are NOT the experience, but we are in the experience. It is not us, but it is happening to us. When we investigate, we may ask: Why now? Why me? With self-kindness and mindful strength we reduce reactivity and tendencies to escape or self-medicate. The strong large self is taking charge.
  4. The last step of RAIN non-identification with the experience as self, and more realization that the experience is happening to me and is not me (no-self). Here we practice BEING the true-self, the larger self, the expansive self. We slowly and gently open up a calm, secure space in our hearts. We realize we are not fused with the negative experience or its causes and conditions; we dis-identify with the small escaping self, and over-identify with the stronger, defused, more capable self. With a little luck and skill, we may even experience spiritual transcendence and/or feeling of liberation. We may realize that the self experiencing the suffering is a temporary, small piece of being in this life; the self that is recognizing, accepting, investigating, and not over-identifying is stronger and expanding into the emptiness of ultimate reality. Time and space may be altered. We may become our spiritual experience. We are ready for our next steps.

For more information refer to Brach, T. (2013). True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awkward Heart. New York: Bantam Books. See also Tara Brach’s other works – Radical Self-Acceptance: A Buddhist Guide to Freeing Yourself from Shame.  See also Meditations for Emotional Healing: Finding Freedom in the Face of Difficulty.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Buddhism, Coping, Emotions, Featured, Healing, Healing, Inner Peace, Meditation, Mental Health, MIndfulness, RAIN Skills, Self Care, Tara Brach, Training, Well Being Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, RAIN SKILLS, TARA BRACH

July 16, 2019 By Admin

Helper Self-Care is Important

Helper Self-Care is Important

In the most current issue of The National Psychologist (July-August, 2019) an article linked helper effectiveness, risk management, and clinical outcomes to helper self-care. To make a long story shorter, I will simply paraphrase and re-word the suggestions.  These recommendations support YOUR emotional survival and successful risk management as a helper as well as your clients’ progress.

Here are the specific self-care ideas. Since it is my post, I will add some of my own ideas.

Strategies for Helper/Therapist Self-Care

Focus on your own self-value and growth (personal and professional):

  1. Involve yourself in your own personal counseling/therapy if needed.
  2. Practice awareness and monitoring skills (mindfulness) regarding your needs.
  3. The regular practice of mindfulness and self-compassion skills is recommended.
  4. Spend some time learning and doing what improves resilience – block out time in your schedule.
  5. Do your best to maintain healthy personal boundaries at work and in life.
  6. Recognize and act upon limitations and manage your time well.
  7. Cultivate and practice activities that enhance belonging and spirituality.
  8. Monitor the quality of your inner speech and thoughts – improve them as needed.
  9. Do the same for your inner emotional experiences.
  10. Practice interoception by intentionally noting your inner body feelings – improve them.

Focus more closely on what you find rewarding, reinforcing AND take care of yourself:

  1. Experience the rewards of your work, and have gratitude for them
  2. Understand the stressors, risks, and burnout issues in your job role without exaggeration.
  3. Get help – obtain supervision, consultation, confer with peers.
  4. Do your best not to complain often, since this will make stress reactivity worse.
  5. Figure out ways to get what you need – rest, nutrition, fun, hydration, exercise, connection.
  6. Smile more! Yes, have the intention and behavioral response to improve facial emotions.
  7. Practice a regular exercise regimen.

Nurture your relational world and its objects:

  1. Be active in peer support groups, supervision and training activities.
  2. Network with others via continuing education workshops and meaningful conversations.
  3. Schedule regular meetings with mentors, peers, supervisors.
  4. Make the best of positive emotions in all significant relationships.
  5. If you have pets, spend some quality time with your pets. Play!
  6. Make sure you have a positive social life outside of work.
  7. Discover and re-visit what you find helpfully humorous in life.

Pursue creativity and personal growth in your inner and outer environments:

  1. Do what you can to make your office or work areas rewarding and reinforcing to you.
  2. Consider all of your senses in the above endeavor.
  3. If you can limit the number of high risk-high demand clients you work with.
  4. Obtain administrative supports that may reduce your stress level and intensity.
  5. Take regular self-care breaks at work, alone and in small groups.
  6. Do not isolate! When we feel wounded and worn out, we tend to isolate ourselves.
  7. If possible limit your exposure to traumatic experiences and material.
  8. Practice periods of silence and solitude in nature (“forest bathing” practices).
  9. Schedule and take time off and go on vacations – even if just staying at home.
  10. Continue to pursue your values-driven behaviors.
  11. Continue to learn new things that may improve your work role and outcomes.
  12. If spiritual do more practice.
  13. When engaged in pleasurable activities, use all your senses to experience them.

For more information refer to Bryant, L. M. (July/August, 2019). Self-care is essential to risk management. The National Psychologist.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, MIndfulness, Self -Kindness, Self Care Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFULNESS, SELF CARE

July 12, 2019 By Admin

Expanded Lectio Divina for Self-Development

Expanded Lectio Divina for Self-Development

In this post I will provide an expanded version of this process by combining information from Origen,  the Carthusian  Monk  Guigo II,   and  Augustine of Hippo.   The presented process of 12 steps may be used  to enhance internalization of sacred writing and/or to support internal healing of the participants.  You  have three choices here: read sacred scripture based on your personal spiritual and religious practices; make up your  own  deep  healing  mantra  and  write  it  down;  and/or  combine  both  practices  noted above.  The wording  of  this  post  will  be  based  on  the  second possibility above. Note that if this is done  in a  group format,  people  take  turns  reading  scripture/self-healing  mantras  aloud  and sharing from time to time their  emotional   responses  with   each   other.      Personal   deep   respect   and   values-driven  cognition,  emotion,  and  behavior  apply  here.      The process may work best if you practice it with cognition, affect, behavior, sensations, intuition, and with all your senses.

  1. Opening Invitation or Prayer: Invite  your higher self, the power  of  nature, or  your  personal  deity (God, Jesus, Buddha, Shiva, etc.)  into  your  soft, warm heart-soul.    Allow  the  feelings  you  notice.
  2. Lectio: This is the first reading of the sacred words or your self-healing mantra.  Pay close attention.
  3. Brief Silence:  Do your best to remain in deep silence in mind, brain, body, tongue,  heart, and  soul.
  4. Meditatio:  Complete  a  second  reading  of  the passage, this time a bit slower with more  attention.   You  may repeat  the  reading  if  it  is  helpful  to  deepen  your  personal  meanings   and   emotions. Ruminate on it as you connect meaning/insight with your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, memories.
  5. Brief Silence:
  6. Key Word, Phrase, Sentence:  Select the most meaningful word,  phrase,  or  sentence.   Repeat  this several, times as if you were trying to memorize it. Allow the words and meaning/emotions to enter the depths of your heart, soul, body.   Be  one  with  it!  Discern closely how you feel inside your body.
  7. Oratio:  Read the passage (word, phrase, sentence) again.  If  in  a  group this is the third read aloud experience.  If doing this process alone, you have already repeated the reading several times by now. Attune and pay even deeper, stronger attention. God/your deity, love or personal higher self love are at work. Consecrate this process and the words deeper and deeper into yourself. Allow your true self to experience this feeling of soft love, and especially allow yourself to re-visit the deep suffering  you have experienced. By integrating soft love with your suffering, you may notice the beginning of your personal healing at the most deep levels of personal, emotional experience. ALLOW IT ALL TO BE!
  8. Brief Silence:
  9. Collatio: On  voluntary basis you may decide to share some of what you have experienced thus far in your  inner  healing  and/or  deep  connection  with  the  divine.     Such  sharing  must  be  brief  but meaningful  for  it  to  have a profound effect on yourself and on others who may be with you at  this time.  Brevity  is  also  important so that deep emotional experience is not limited by consciousness.
  10. Contemplatio:  Now  go  into  even  more  depth  and  strengths  as  you delve deeper into the words and/or your personal connection to inner healing or  inter-connection  with  the  divine.   Very deep contemplation is required so you can move from spiritual DOING to simply BEING in your current state of self-healing connection and/or a connection on a different dimension and power with  your selected deity.       Go as deeply as possible into the feelings of your current existence in  integration.
  11. Closing Chant and/or prayer:       This could be in silence or if in a group as a  whole-group   activity.
  12. Action: Some forms of Lectio Divina promote your personal actions in the real world you  live  in  to live in the same way you experienced this sacred process. By kind, compassion, generous, non-violent, caring, supportive, and live a life based on your improved higher self or your selected  deity.

For more information refer to Guigo II (Re-published,  1978).  Ladder of Monks and Twelve Meditations. Coletti, J. (July, 2011). “Guigo II and the Development of Lectio Divina.”  Also  refer to various writing  of Augustine of Hippo and The Augustinian Way of Life. See also Dei Verbum  of the Second Vatican Council and Pope Benedict XVI in his support for lectio divina at the Papacy of the 21st century.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Lectio Divina, Meditation, MIndfulness Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, LECTIO DIVINA, MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS

June 21, 2019 By Admin

Loving Kindness – An Alternative Version

Loving Kindness – An Alternative Version

The writings of Thich Nhat Hanh offer a different version of Loving Kindness Meditation or Metta (Pali). This version may be influenced by Buddhaghosa in Visuddhimagga (or The Path to Purification,  fifth century system of The Buddha’s teachings). The reality of no-self, or a static, permanent and inherent self is a core teaching of Buddhism; however, humans do experience life in Samsara via their perceived self – the experiencer of events and circumstances. Sensory awareness and mental formation make our realities. It is important to know yourself well, thus it is important to go deeper and deeper into the sources of your self-experiences. Negative emotions and feelings cause great suffering; fears and internal turmoil prevent happiness. To move beyond suffering, we need to understand and experience self-compassion and self-love. Our best hope may be the regular practice of Loving Kindness Meditation, especially if we are able to feel (interoception) the words as they transform inner body feelings and mind-thoughts. Here is a version of loving kindness. Try it. I have made several of my own adjustments in wording.

May I be free from suffering, aversion, and emotional conflict.

May I be mindful of peace and affection.

May I experience the inner light of my soul and feel safe.

May I learn from the loving spirit of myself.

May I be free from all afflictions, including greed, craving, fear, anger, and negative moods.

May I practice freeing myself from the skandhas of form (body), feelings, perception, mental formations, and consciousness.

May I learn to be at peace in impermanence when such things arise.

May I liberate myself from the suffering of my own “second arrows.”

May I allow myself the inner joy of silence.

May I accept and love myself.

May I be happy.

For more information refer to Thich Nhat Hanh (2014). No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering. Parallax Press.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Love and Kindness, Loving Kindness, Meditation, Thich Nhat Hanh Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, LOVING KINDNESS, MEDITATION, MONKTON SANGA, PRACTICE, SELF CARE

May 31, 2019 By Admin

More on Yoga Nidra

More on Yoga Nidra

Yoga nidra is sometimes called yoga sleep or yoga relaxation. It is a very powerful mindfulness technique that allows one to relax the body and limbic brain area, while holding mental control for deeper relaxation and projective practices without falling asleep. For some it may be like lucid dreaming, but a state that remains focused on the physical, energetic, and psychic body. In mindfulness terms, this is a state of deep relaxed awareness. Advanced practices use projective techniques outside the body. One asset of this practice is that it allows us to retain cognitive awareness as the body and brain waves shift into more subtle states. Once we are in the subtle energy field, the body-mind may be altered with relative ease. The ancient practice helps practitioners to improve physical conditions, injuries, energy homeostasis, and to awaken dormant energies.

Ideally this practice is done in a laying down position, so the body can conserve energy. Laying on your back is called savasana, the course pose – being very still like a corpse. The use of blankets and cushions may improve comfort. It may also be done in a comfortable sitting position. During practice it is important not to move the body in any way; this is a goal even if uncomfortable sensations arise. Our job is to observe the movement of inner energies without physical or mental reactions, thus allowing a more expansive meditation experience.

Stages of Yoga Nidra

In the first stage of practice, we engage in a progressive body scan to relax and harmonize the physical body. This allows gross or non-subtle energy to move out of the body so the physical body is completely relaxed. We may feel the tension leaving our mind and body. This alone may enable one to experience waves of deep relaxation and peace of mind. However, this first stage is simply preparation for other yoga nidra techniques. If practice time is extended, sometimes people experience a drop in body temperature.

In the second stage, the practitioner will be guided into other subtle energy experiences. These may include sensory awareness and manipulation, chakra awareness, visualizations, awakening energy techniques, and projective experiences. In the more advanced yoga nidra techniques, it is important that the teacher possesses ample experience in doing these practices. A good reason for this is that while being in deeper energetic systems of the body, a person’s stored tensions, memories, and perhaps karma may be released. Participant safety is a priority, so the teacher must observe closely to notice signs the practice is going beyond the practitioner’s capacity.

Yoga nidra is a powerful body-based technique that may improve access to subtle energy as well as cognitive and physical functioning. It can be a very powerful, healing meditation.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC  & Brian Tobin 

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Meditation, MIndfulness, Mindfulness Training, Sleep, Yoga, Yoga Nidra Tagged With: ACT, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, BRIAN TOBIN, MINDFULNESS, SLEEP, YOGA NIDRA

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Three Meditation Practices to Further Your Expansion Based on the ongoing “bad news” about various domestic and world events, and the knowledge that people DO NEED more compassion and self-compassion in their hectic and challenging lives, I am writing three brief meditation practices on different aspects on compassion-wisdom as noted on my site.  Hopefully, these […]

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Psychoanalytic Gems – Even More D. W. Winnicott has made significant clinical contributions to both building therapeutic alliance and maintaining a positive, helpful focus in psychotherapy. Below I have noted various approaches to use in your therapy.  Use of these “gems” requires considerable knowledge and skill by the therapist.  Here is the list: Respect the […]

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My third posting on self-medication- Comes from the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont. Now we will turn our attention to how people become habituated to self-medication to obtain brief moments of joy and/or to avoid emotional suffering.  Recall that self-medication becomes a habit (dopamine released in reward centers of the […]

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“i Rest” Yoga Nidra Practice (Richard Miller, Ph.D.) All regular meditation and yoga practices are capable of bringing us closer to our true self and our relationships in the world. A by-product is deep relaxation and equanimity. Richard Miller, Ph.D. (Clinical Psychologist, yogic scholar, spiritual teacher), has created a yoga nidra practice that promises to […]

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