Using Lectio Divina to Improve Your Self-Esteem
LectioDivina is an ancient form of Christian (Benedictine) meditation. This meditative prayer is sometimes called 
“Sacred Seeing.” Lectio Divina follows specific steps as a process: lectio or reading a passage; Meditatio or meditating on the passage or image; Oratio or praying (I add – in your own way); Contemplatio or contemplation on it; and, Actio or action based on your new insights. Modified below.
- For a few minutes sit in calm, self-abiding meditation and just rest.
- Now ask yourself this question: “What strengths do I have?”
- Write a short paragraph noting the kinds of strengths you know you have.
- Now take five long, deep, slow breaths and close your eyes if you are ok with that. Think carefully about the strengths you listed. Contemplate them as you meditate again.
- Now in full conscious awareness, read that paragraph over and over slowly. Read it five or six times, and go deeper into your awareness each time you read it. Really concentrate.
- Answer the following questions about improving your self-esteem by using your strengths. Best to use a form of free association here; simply see what comes into awareness without great effort.
- What is the pattern of your strengths? If you come up with something, add it to your paragraph.
- Who are you when you have lived experience using your strengths. If something new comes up in your consciousness, add this information to your paragraph.
- When are you most likely to use your strengths? Follow the same procedure as above.
- Where are you most likely to live by your strengths? Follow the same procedure again.
- How does you using your strengths look? Make an image of it, or recall the last time you used your strengths. Notice anything significant, and add it to your paragraph.
- Now relax again, and read your longer paragraph over five more times. Read slowly, and add deeper concentration each time you read it. Go into it deeply!
- End with a short story about your future use of your signature strengths.
- Go back into light meditation with long, slow, deep breaths and just relax. Notice how you feel right now. Remember your strengths are always with you, but you need to use them.
Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC
From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha
Author of Mindful Happiness
cognition, emotion, behavior and sensory contact with all phenomena are fully engaged in evaluation of everything: did I get what I wanted and avoid suffering for now or not? This is the hedonic treadmill of lived attachment and avoidance. Cognitive-Behavioral analytics ends up in the same place over and over again: short-term pleasure (getting what I want for now) and longer-term suffering (fear of losing it or being involved in more emotional pain). This state of constant seeking (how many “likes” do I have?) tricks us into thinking that this time, it will work. We seek safety, security, and various forms of wealth; we expect to achieve these goals and to avoid as much suffering as possible. This is impossible, since the seeking and attaching itself eventually causes more personal suffering. We humans have very short memories when it comes to the realities of pleasure and pain, happiness and suffering. Our emotional striving to be perfect and get ahead often leave us with just more desire. The sad fact is that no matter how successful we are in accumulating all the goodies, we tend to continue our suffering sometimes in different forms.
self. It does not change even when the content of experience does change. Become your observing self in a state of pure awareness without judging or evaluating. In the evolutionary process, clinging is one of the most primal actions. The “vapor of thoughts” along with strong attachment clinging causes our norms to be related to our false self – with its entitlement, feeling special as a defense, greed, anger, even hatred. Just STOP all of this process as much as you can; focus on who/what you are at the deepest most spiritual levels. Who am I is the eternal and most important question. As you meditate and do yoga, concentrate on radically accepting everything that has happened to you and may still be happening to you. This does not mean stand by and allow yourself to be abused by cruel people; however, it does mean to pay very acute attention to what experiences trigger your ego-defenses and negative reactions in thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. How much control over your emotions are you willing to give up to other people? Radically accept as a norm, do your asanas, meditate often, allow your true self to “let go” of the false self”s ego and superego demands. Pursue spiritual practices, be compassionate and generous, and live the life your true self desires for you. This is a life of more inner peace, even tranquility, more happiness, less competition, more love, and DOING good for others. This path is difficult in our materialistic world. The fruits of your efforts will be gratifying! If you practice, you will discover the truth about being a happier, more lovable person.
and there is nothing you can do about it; this is pure suffering, and it is painful. However what you decide to have your mind, body and emotions do with the first arrow of suffering is called the second arrow. This very sharply pointed arrow can lead to long-term, even life-long suffering about something you failed to radically accept and let go. Become an expert in perceiving the initial activity of your second arrows, and STOP as soon as possible. At this point you may apply RAIN – recognize what if happening; accept it; investigate causation; and, apply no-self or if less skilled “its not about me attitudes.” These follow-up practices should be very helpful to you in your effort to become a more calm and more happy person.
Because only deep and prolonged meditation can focus consciousness on our true nature, it is the “highest state” of being. The observing self is the seat of consciousness, your root of all being.
thing about you. Note how the aim of some ads is to improve your perceived status, but not your inner reality of who you really are.Yes, looking ok, being healthy, and more importantly being happy are all important to our successful functioning. However, we tend to be dominated by limbic-brain survival mechanisms that boil down to interpersonal attraction and feeling liked by others. We ask: Am I good enough? D. W. Winnicott may have some answers for us, and he would be more apt to focus on psychological well-being above superficial qualities – how we look, status, etc.
thoughts. Cognitive Therapy, Recovery Oriented Cognitive Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy all can help reduce our thought-caused suffering. These approaches when implemented correctly work much faster than psychodynamic methods, which tend to prolong and deepen dependency on therapists and serve mutually self-rewarding experiences (some unconscious for therapists). All evidence-based approaches work, but how well and how fast do they work? There may be a moral question involved when a therapist uses a much slower method with outcomes that are no better than more efficient methods. They all involve a strong therapeutic alliance and clinical relationship. That also all involve a deeper change process not simply symptom reduction.
mindful self-compassion.