How to Offer Personal Tribute to Those Who Have Died
The Four Noble Truths tell us sobering news. There is suffering, and impermanence of all things including us and our loved ones. Below I have listed several thing you can do to HONOR a person you have lost. Here is the list.
- Recall a special time before or at the time of death, and consider it a sacred place in space and time. Honor it and the person with the complete softness of your loving heart. Do this now if you wish to.
- Pray for the person you have lost – and the goodness in that lost relationship. You can do this if you are agnostic, even atheist. The prayer is to honor the loved person not to one of many gods.
- Go to your soft, suffering heart and fill it with joyous remembrances of your time with the person. Yes, the person has moved beyond; however, your internal and emotional memories are quite vibrant. They have made a special place for them self in your soul.
- You can carry this to a deeper level by seeing and touching special objects that belonged to the deceased. Or, you can set up a small shrine in your home to pay respect and honor whenever you wish to do so.
- Know that the deceased person would want you to recall your joy, so light up your senses and recall in mild meditative state the pleasant and happy experiences you both shared. If something happened with them that made you laugh, go there! This is what they wish for you.
- Listen to the music the lost person enjoyed, or read something inspirational.
- Think carefully of all the ways you could say goodbye again. Do it now if you wish to.
- Recall the smile on their face, and smile back. You may be surprised at how powerful this experience may be.
- Dedicate meritorious behavior to them. If you wish, set up some special program or fund to champion causes they cared about. The financial level is far less important than the emotional level of actually doing something.
- Write a special tribute about them in a journal. Write often, and read what your have written again and again.
- Lastly, work carefully to discover some ways to celebrate that person’s life and your relationship. Celebrate often and be calm within the warmth of your love.
For more information refer to Reoch, R. (1997). To Die Well: A Holistic Approach for the Dying and Their Caregivers. New York: Harper. See also Holecek, A. (2013). Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition. Boston: Snow Lion, pp. 312-314.
Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC
From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha
Author of Mindful Happiness
feeling highly vulnerable at this time, or if you are not working with a well-trained and experienced psychological health care provider. If you are in therapy this might be a good intervention to do with your helper, that is if your helper feels confident and competent with this level of clinical intervention. This is a long intervention, so it may be helpful to have your helper read the instructions to you. It may be a very good idea to share this with your healthcare provider/s to see if they think you should or should not do this intervention. It is quite OK to beak this intervention down into a couple shorter experiences. Here we go!
Now note the quasi-hypnotics. As you change the imagined shape of the pain, what do you notice? As you change the shape again, what do you notice? Now work on the size (larger or smaller, whichever feel better). As you work on the size, imagine your favorite color over the painful area and notice. As you notice the color, also notice if pain is more/less in the center of the area or on its periphery. Working from the center or the periphery, notice where the pain or suffering subsides. Where is that place? Be there! Concentrate!
personal suffering from chronic pain. Although some of these can be practiced on your own, it is wise to work with a pain specialist, preferably one who does not count 100% on pain medications. Nerve, cancer, and phantom limb pain may be more difficult to improve. Always be cautious when self-administering any pain intervention. Some of the same interventions may also help to reduce psychological/emotional pain; this may be true as an integrated aspect of pain or as a stand-alone condition. Emotional pain and suffering is often associated with aggravated physical pain. Here is the list. If you are unfamiliar with these, you may need to Google them. Google Professionals may be more helpful.
to determine the levels of stress in America. The data below does NOT include children; therefore, the already high numbers would be much higher. Here are some highlights. Stress levels are quite high but stable. Increased concerns about the health status of Millennials and GenZ are noted.
The Lotus Sutra is one of the most important and sacred of Buddhist sutras. It is often considered a summary of The Buddha’s teaching, presented many years after he began to teach and share his experiences. The version considered here is the Kumarajiva translation, as translated by B. Watson; it may also be known as The Lotus Sutra of the Wonderful Law. I will not present the many core teaching noted in this sutra; instead I will focus on the end, about How to Practice Meditation. Since this is such an important sutra, you are strongly encouraged to look into the vast content in it on your own. One important thing I will note is that in this sutra The Buddha notes a unified, single path to enlightenment. In the past he noted that monastic practices, forest practices, and bodhisattva practices all held potential for all people to achieve enlightenment or awakening. Experts suspect that The Buddha taught this sutra in the 6th to 5th century BCE. Here, however, he emphasizes the bodhisattva path as the most important single path. Let us move now into the meditation instructions.