Behaviors People Display When in Groups
After more than 35 years of facilitating hundreds of classes, workshops, family therapy sessions, group therapy sessions, and work project groups it has become clear that we do some strange things when we participate in groups. It appears to me that many of these in-group functions serve both ego and limbic needs. Yes, our prefrontal brain and our lower brain regions (limbic and rewards) play important (if outdated) roles in how humans function in group settings. Here I will simply list a sampling of such behaviors. Many of these behaviors need to be observed, assessed, utilized, and sometimes addressed if a group leader/facilitator/therapist will be successful. Here is the short list of what to observe and use.
- Underlying messages and beliefs signaled by behavior and/or facial/emotional expression;
- Patterns of communication within the group, both verbal and nonverbal;
- Emotional acting out as process or diversion;
- Sub-group alliances, both short-term and long-term;
- Behavioral changes when the make up of group members change;
- The way social and emotional influence are used;
- How personal power is used;
- Patterns of activity – acting out/ acting in, etc.;
- When silence dominates;
- Patterns of hostility, cooperation, compassion, caring, etc.;
- Possible hidden agendas;
- Possible secrets between members;
- The openness and closeness of the group and its process;
- The power of truth in what is shared and shown;
- How people look at each other, and how they address each other;
- Self and other oriented talking;
- How blame is used;
- Willingness to allow others to speak for you – or not; and,
- Consistent roles people tend to play.
Although this is a partial list, the best solution is the same: speak truth; share power; protect group process; protect others; do no harm; deeply listen 
with all your senses; be as kind as possible; be as compassionate as possible; and do your best to help the group achieve its goals. For an interesting view of this process (one based on human doubt), see Abblett, M. (2018). The Five Hurdles to Happiness and the Mindful Path to Overcoming Them. Boulder, CO: Shambhala Publications, pp. 170-218.
Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC
From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha
Author of Mindful Happiness
feeling highly vulnerable at this time, or if you are not working with a well-trained and experienced psychological health care provider. If you are in therapy this might be a good intervention to do with your helper, that is if your helper feels confident and competent with this level of clinical intervention. This is a long intervention, so it may be helpful to have your helper read the instructions to you. It may be a very good idea to share this with your healthcare provider/s to see if they think you should or should not do this intervention. It is quite OK to beak this intervention down into a couple shorter experiences. Here we go!
Now note the quasi-hypnotics. As you change the imagined shape of the pain, what do you notice? As you change the shape again, what do you notice? Now work on the size (larger or smaller, whichever feel better). As you work on the size, imagine your favorite color over the painful area and notice. As you notice the color, also notice if pain is more/less in the center of the area or on its periphery. Working from the center or the periphery, notice where the pain or suffering subsides. Where is that place? Be there! Concentrate!
personal suffering from chronic pain. Although some of these can be practiced on your own, it is wise to work with a pain specialist, preferably one who does not count 100% on pain medications. Nerve, cancer, and phantom limb pain may be more difficult to improve. Always be cautious when self-administering any pain intervention. Some of the same interventions may also help to reduce psychological/emotional pain; this may be true as an integrated aspect of pain or as a stand-alone condition. Emotional pain and suffering is often associated with aggravated physical pain. Here is the list. If you are unfamiliar with these, you may need to Google them. Google Professionals may be more helpful.