Mind Training Over Our Impulses
Mindful awareness of our impulses is a very important pathway to improved emotion regulation and, perhaps, more happiness in life. It can be unusually helpful to people suffering from anxiety, depression, and substance misuse. Vedana refers to the feeling tone in our body. It is one of the foundations of mindfulness in Buddhist Psychology and traditional practice. Through sense-door experiences, the mind evaluates personal experience in the body as pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant; virtually all human experiences fit into these categories. When we evaluate personal experiences as unpleasant, we tend to act 
more impulsively to escape from the painful feeling tone or to quickly improve it. We tell ourselves stories about “how bad it is” as we immediately work to reduce the psychic suffering. This is where so many common human problems are born; this is where we may begin habitual behaviors around eating, consuming, angering, isolating, acting out, acting in, using mind-altering substances, and greediness, etc. There are ways to reduce this kind of mindbody stuckness and misery.
With strong application of mindfulness, we can train ourselves to simply label the experience as a short-term pain or suffering. We can practice radical acceptance and wait it out without emotional and behavioral impulsive actions. Simply practice labeling negative feeling tones with words like “temporary unpleasantness.” External and internal stimuli can be calmed by labeling without storylines and escapist behaviors. You do need to conserve a bit of tolerance for the unpleasantness; as you cope better and wait out the feeling tones, you will become more skilled in coping with them. From maintaining a quality of relaxed awareness – even in the chaos of chaos – simply ask: “What is this feeling?” What is this that I am feeling? Without strong conscious evaluation, just note it as a temporary experience of living. Pain and suffering cannot beat out the reality of impermanence. Stop your storyline; stop going into the past and future; stop judging as good or bad. Simply BE fully with your feeling tone, pause, and know it will pass without you having to avoid or self-medicare it. As Rolo May and B. F. Skinner have suggested – we 
increase personal freedom with the skill of pausing between stimulus and reaction. Become more liberated by practicing your PAUSE, then label in a neutral manner – just wait it out. No need to avoid or to self-medicate the unpleasant feeling. This is our best HOPE to master choiceless awareness, especially when it leads to unpleasant feeling tones. Simply pause and label: “I am feeling unpleasantness in my body.” This too will pass. Try NOT to be more specific, since doing so may lead to stories and avoidance behaviors (negative reinforcement). Negative reinforcement by way of quick relief from suffering WILL cause unhealthy habits to form. The more you avoid or self-medicate painful feelings, the stronger the habit will become. This is a path to powerlessness NOT liberation. Just pause and label “I am feeling unpleasantness.” WAIT! Get stronger is your tolerance. Become a more satisfied and happier person. Just keep labeling without actions.
If you become overwhelmed with your unpleasant feeling tone, you may also want to practice loving kindness meditation as part of your training. In this case you might say the following: “May I pause. May I be free from suffering. May I be well. May I become stronger. May I liberate my mind from fear and reaction. May I be happy.” Good luck on your personal path toward liberation.
For more information refer to King, R. (March 17, 2017). Notes on – Ungripping Heart and Mind – Intimacy with Impulses. Retrieved from tricycle@tricycle.org on March 27, 2017.
Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC
From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont
Author of Mindful Happiness
Intimate relationships are often the source of many years of happiness and satisfaction, and sometimes the cause of great pain and suffering. It depends! I will list various realities of initiating and maintaining a positive intimate relationship. After reading these, ask yourself: Where is my relationship? If you are unhappy, do something about it. Stay safe in the process.
anger, intimate partners need to retreat to their executive, cognitive, prefrontal brain power. Taking a break from complicated conversations may be helpful.
world keeps us on high-alert status. Being overly stressed-out is the new normal. Not only does this state harm our bodies via destructive body chemicals in our bloodstream and organs, but also our brain adapts (plasticity) so we become stressed more easily in the future. Part of the problem is in our brain. Our unlimited faith in the power of the cortex and frontal brain areas may be part of the problem. We cannot simply “think” our way to happiness. Our reward centers pretty much make secure, stable, intrinsic happiness impossible; we are simply waiting for the NEXT and the next “great thing” that spills dopamine in our reward circuits. This never-ending seeking of rewarding sensory pleasure (via dopamine, serotonin, endogenous opioids, and/or adrenaline has failed to bring us lasting, intrinsic happiness. Our ancient brain is also a culprit! The limbic system, with its never-ending danger system “ringing,” ringing,” and, “ringing” keeps us fearful, reactive and unstable emotionally. No wonder so few people experience stable emotion regulation in the chaos of daily life.
today? Do have a roof over your head? Are you relatively safe? Each day list one thing in your journal. What fleeting or BIG experience made you happy today. Write it in your journal. At a future date, re-read everything you have written.
physical and psychological (emotional) health. Again, move your body!
Psychological Association in March, 2017, and opinions in The Atlantic warn of potential and actual biopsychosocial dangers of excessive smartphone use. By now most of us realize that smartphone use is a strongly reinforced habitual behavior, a habitual behavior that results in huge profits for the industry. Like so much else in American commerce, the profit incentive takes precedent over the health of the people using the products. Here are some things the researchers discovered. Most of these findings resulted from heavy, addictive use of smartphones (on 24/7, spending many hours a day connected, loss of sleep to remain connected, rising anxiety when not connected, etc.). Here is a list of possible problems to consider quite seriously.
