Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

November 19, 2014 By Admin

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness Defined…

There are many definitions of mindfulness.  Here I have combined several popular views into one.  This definition and process may be helpful to readers who cannot quite grasp what it is, what it feels like, and what steps can make it happen.  MindfulHappiness_Mindfulness

Good luck in your regular practices!  

Mindfulness is:

  • Paying attention with full concentration;
  • In a focused manner, in the present moment;
  • With attention on one thing right now, here now;
  • Bare attention to what is inside of you, and bare attention to what is outside of you;
  • Without judgments or evaluations of any kind or at any level of perception and consciousness;
  • Pure witnessing your own experience as simply the observer of that experience;
  • Being aware of mental states without over-identification with them;
  • Not going into the past, and not going into the future;
  • Without negative or positive self-talk, and no stories or internal conversations;
  • Letting go of fantasies and images;
  • Not even the most subtle of evaluative beginnings – via changes in breathing, heart rate, muscle tension, facial emotions, or sensations.
  • Eventually expanding mindful awareness into other domains of personal experience – such as voluntary control over breathing, thoughts, memories, future projections, smells, sounds, sensations, bodily experiences, emotions, strengths, clinging, and craving.
  • Practice meditation, yoga, or walking meditation daily, even if for only a few minutes.  Then gradually allow the natural reinforcing tendencies of these practices to motivate you to expand your practice time, in both frequency and duration.  Over time brain plasticity will occur, and you will find it easier and enjoyable to practice.

MindfulHappiness-Dr-Anthony-Quintili

May you be mindful;

May you be more calm;

May you be healthier;

May you be happier; and,

May you live with more joy and less suffering.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Sources:  This definition has been integrated by various ideas from The Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, J. Goldstein, S. Salzberg, J. Kabat-Zinn, Tulku Thondup, G. Dreyfus, Anthony Quintiliani and many others.

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Meditation, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICES

November 16, 2014 By Admin

Self-Medication Via Your Hand-Held Devices

Self-Medication:  Is Your Hand-Held Device a  Dopamine Device?

MindfulHappiness_HandHeld_Device-Dopamine

 

Mindfulness Activities:

Here is a simple activity that may inform you about your personal level of addiction to your digital/electronic devices.

Simply click the link below to download the PDF Worksheet;   answer each question according to your personal opinions.  Dr-Anthony-Quintiliani_HandHeldDeviceActivity

Be sure to complete the meditation activity noted at the end of these questions.

1) What is auto-texting?  Do you think you suffer from it? Yes or No?

2) What is auto-texting while driving a vehicle?  Do you think you suffer from it?  Yes or No?

auto-texting_mindful-happiness

3) What is sexting? Do you think you are addicted to it?  Yes or No?

4) On a scale from 0 to 10, rate how lonely or uncomfortable you feel when you are without your hand-held device.

5) If you answered “yes” to any of these three questions, what insights do you have about your addiction to your hand-held devices?

6) Have you ever contemplated WHY you must be “on” your hand-held device?  What did you come up with for an answer?

Mindful-Happiness_HandHeldDevice-Dopamine

7) Do you think you are using your hand-held device for connectivity with others as self-medication against your unpleasant feelings? Yes or No?  Do you know what feelings? – depression, anxiety, fear, loneliness, or other?

8) MEDITATION ON YOUR DEVICE –  Please do this meditation activity.  

Shut OFF your hand-held dopamine device, and sit with it in front of you.  Allow the device to serve as your object of meditation.  Just sit and observe it.  Be sure it is off.  When your mind wonders off onto another thought, simply bring your attention (pure awareness) back to your device.  Notice if you work hard at just sitting looking at your device.  Clock how long you can just sit observing your device without any attempt to turn it ON to use it.  Notice if this is difficult for you.  Score (from 0 to 100) how difficult it is for you to sit (looking at your device) for at least 20 minutes without turning it ON or USING it.  A higher score (0ver 50) implies that you may be addicted to your device.  Another way to consider your level of addiction is to see HOW LONG you can just sit and look at your device without turning it on, doing something else, or using it.  If you cannot do this for at least 20 minutes, you may be addicted to the device.

9) How do you feel now that you may know the extent of your addiction to your hand-held device?   Some people experience such a strong addiction that they seek professional help from licensed helpers with expertise in habitual behavior.

May you be mindful;

May you be more calm;

May you be healthier;

May you be happier; and,

May you live with more joy and less suffering.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness Activities, Self Medication, Stress Reduction Tagged With: ADDICTION, AUTO TEXTING, DOPAMINE, DOPAMINE DEVICE, HAND HELD DEVICES, MEDITATION ACTIVITIES, SELF MEDICATION, SEXTING, TEXTING

November 4, 2014 By Admin

Compassion Practices & Benefits

Expanded Information about Your Compassion Practices and Benefits

Compassion Practice Tips and Exercises

MindfulHappiness_Compassion-InnerPeace

The Buddha noted that one should not dwell on the past, become too attached to future outcomes, but instead concentrate our mind only on the present moment of our experiences.  The Dalai Lama noted that compassion is a necessary condition for inner calmness and survival.  Pema Chodron noted that compassion is required for inner and outer peace. If you practice the skills noted below, it is highly recommended that you write briefly on a daily basis in a compassion-based journal about your growth and your journey.

Here is an expanded list of things you may notice when you make compassion practices a part of your regular, daily practice.

If you practice seriously, expect the following to occur.

1) Improved self-confidence and self-esteem, especially in dealing with others;

2) Improved quality of emotional experiences and emotional regulation;

3) Greater frequency in being your own best friend;

4) Improved interpersonal relationships and greater social engagement;

5) Reduced shame and extreme perfectionism;

6) More self-supporting focus on your strengths;

7) Greater generosity and kindness;

8) More soft-heartedness in dealing both with yourself and with others;

9) General improvements in psychological and physical well-being; and,

10) Greater ease at continuing to be more compassionate (brain plasticity related to regular, daily practice).

Here are a few ways to expand your regular practice of compassion.

1) First do a personal inventory.  Examine your life experience and note 2-3 unhelpful and 2-3 helpful life experiences/events. Now under each list pros and cons regarding your expected/experienced outcomes from both helpful and unhelpful life experiences.

Unhelpful (Unpleasant)Experiences and events –

 

a)

b)

c)

Pros:

Cons:

Helpful (Pleasant) Experiences and Events –

a)

b)

c)

Pros:

Cons:

2) Answer this question.  How have these life experiences, even the unpleasant events, helped you in your life?

 

3) If you were now coaching your best friend, what three things might you do to coach them into being more compassionate?

a)

b)

c)

4) Practice empathy for yourself and others more frequently.

5) Catch yourself being critical or negative, and stop!  Shift your thinking and feelings to improved self-understanding and non-judgment.

6) Do the same when dealing with others.

7) Notice what your internal emotional warmth feels like.  Describe it below. Work to expand it!

8) Develop and use a self-nurturing mantra. What is it?

9) Learn to pay better attention to your body and facial emotions.  When you catch them being negative or unpleasant, shift! Practice shifting to a more compassionate stance in both your body and on your face.  Look at a mirror, when you sense being negative, and when you sense being positive.

10) Periodically check the quality of your thoughts, emotions and memories.  If they are unpleasant, shift them to neutral or pleasant.  Use self-compassion and compassion for others as your energy source.

ness_Compassion-InnerPeace-02

Good luck. May you experience the benefits of compassion every day of your life.

For more information refer to Gilbert, P. (2014). Mindful Compassion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.  See also Welford, M. (2013). The Power of Self-Compassion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Filed Under: Activities, Featured, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Self Compassion Tagged With: COMPASSION, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER, EXERCISES, MINDFUL COMPASSION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, PRACTICE, SELF COMPASSION

October 7, 2014 By Admin

Mindfulness to Expand Acceptance of Others

Mindfulness Practices for Expanding Acceptance

Mindfulness and contemplation can be great allies in our struggle to better understand each other.  This is especially true when it comes to matters of interpersonal relationships and highly significant relationships.  It is also important in diversity, or as some now refer to it – variation in human beings.   Variation may be a better term; it implies there are variations in all humans.  Since variation exists inside and outside typical human groups (women, men, racial and ethnic groups, religions, etc.), it may be a more normative term to signify a noticed difference in any person.  Since variation (diversity) among people is a highly observable difference, it may sometimes influence our deeper insecurities: this person is like me or not like me.  mindfulhappiness_acceptance-of-others

In mindfulness traditions, we strive to accept others as complete equals and to be in a state of compassion and acceptance with them.  All people are born, suffer, experience joy, become old and/or ill, then die at some point.  We are ALL experiencing the same process living here on earth.   We all suffer, experience joy, and we all will die at some time in the future.

Keeping these ideas in mind, please participate in the following mindful awareness activity dealing with human variation.  This is a positive stereotyping activity.  You are being asked to use mindful contemplation to think of positives in other people who present with variation – not exactly like you.

Please follow the steps listed below.

A) List five groups of people with variation – these groups are different in race, ethnicity, religion, social-economic status, etc.  The five groups are NOT exactly like you.

1.

 

 

2

 

 

3

 

 

 

4

 

 

 

5

 

 

B) Although these five groups of people have variations that you do not have, please contemplate about each group AND at least one positive trait you believe they possess.  This is positive stereotyping; positive stereotyping is being used to have you experience something a bit different regarding your usual views about variations in humans.

NOW go back to the five groups and write at least one positive trait you do believe each group possesses.

Mindful-Happiness_AcceptanceofOthers

C) As you read over what you have written, contemplate on each group and any positives you listed.

D) As you completed this mindful activity did you notice any biases that came up for you?  If yes – what came up?

E) As you completed this mindful activity, did you notice any feelings of compassion that came up about any of the groups or their struggles?  If yes – what came up?

F) As you completed this mindful activity, did you notice any subtle shifts in your own perspectives about any of these groups?  If yes – what shifted?

Hopefully mindful activities like this one may be helpful in softening your own heart about others – and, perhaps, about yourself.

Compassion, acceptance, and understanding can go a long way in improving relations with others.  This is particularly true if the others possess human variations you do not possess.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Meditation, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Practices, Training Tagged With: ACCEPTANCE, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFUL CONTEMPLATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFUL TRAINING, POSITIVE STEREOTYPING

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue First let’s begin with what some people do to counteract the stressors of living in a hurried,“over-technologized” world. Technically, “technologize” is not a popularly accepted word, but it is a sad  reality. We live in a time when texting while driving may become the new addiction-based cause for many, many […]

 Poem on Nature    – Haiku-Like As I sat peacefully by the westward window of my sunroom at my retreat center, I noticed!  I noticed the restless, natural movement of a tormented sky trying to calm itself.   Here is my poem. “The Sky, the Lake and the Mountains” Sitting at our home, alone – […]

Psychoanalytic Gems – Even More D. W. Winnicott has made significant clinical contributions to both building therapeutic alliance and maintaining a positive, helpful focus in psychotherapy. Below I have noted various approaches to use in your therapy.  Use of these “gems” requires considerable knowledge and skill by the therapist.  Here is the list: Respect the […]

COVID-19 Brings Higher Stress and Emotion Dysregulation The Book of Job notes “Man is born unto troubles as the sparks fly upward.” Current stress surveys indicate Americans are stressed out due to COVID-19 concerns, work stress (money needs), imbalance in life-work experience, and lack of support (social, emotional, financial).  The 2020 American Psychological Association national survey […]

Advanced Buddhist Practices Abiding in Emptiness The various impediments (enemies) to abiding in emptiness are noted below. We have strong attachment to objects of mind and our sense door pleasures. We experience strong desire and cravings as our norms. We over-attach to forms of affection. We may become stuck in grief related to our experienced […]

Finding Your Seat with Your Demons and Dragons: Resolutions You may think the creation of the Gestalt-like therapy activity of sitting in different chairs and acting “as if” the you in that personality-chair is the source of your responses is a relatively new psychotherapy intervention.  However, some roots of this process may go back as […]

Mindful Observation  Through Mindful Breathing The following guided meditation is a combination meditation from Asanga’s Grounds of Hearers, Jam-Yang-Shay-Pa’s concentration meditation on the breath, and the Anapanasati Sutta. These guided meditation instructions have been simplified and combined for contemporary use by lay meditators. Observation of Observation – Mindfulness in Breathing Contemplate breathing in and out with complete […]

The “I AM THAT” Meditation Elena Brower’s new book, Practice You: A Journal (Sounds True, 2017) has many thoughtful suggestions on how to connect with the true inner self, and – more importantly – how to improve your self-views and the experience of your deep inner self. Below I have modified her presentation of the “I Am […]

Failure and Success: After We Fail, We Succeed Humans tend to get very discouraged when things do not go our way. This may be especially true for younger people, who have grown up attached to their instant gratification digital devices. Below I will list several highly successful people, but I will also note their many […]

Mind Training Over Our Impulses Mindful awareness of our impulses is a very important pathway to improved emotion regulation and, perhaps, more happiness in life. It can be unusually helpful to people suffering from anxiety, depression, and substance misuse. Vedana refers to the feeling tone in our body.  It is one of the foundations of mindfulness […]

The Lotus Sutra and Meditatin Practice The Lotus Sutra is one of the most important and sacred of Buddhist sutras. It is often considered a summary of The Buddha’s teaching, presented many years after he began to teach and share his experiences. The version considered here is the Kumarajiva translation,  as translated by B. Watson; it […]

In-Depth Means to Discover and Be Your True Self Henry David Thoreau reminded us that it is not what you look at, but it is what you see that matters. How do you SEE yourself?  John Muir reminded us that the sun shines in us as well as in our souls. Do you find “the […]

Mindfulness-Based Therapy for Trauma In line with the thousands of studies now available supporting the use of mindfulness-based interventions in depression, anxiety, chronic pain and addictions (via emotion regulation and interoception), this post will review recommended mindfulness interventions for trauma and PTSD. The post will note information from two recent books on this topic. Also recognize […]

Consciousness, Emptiness, and Well Being This is an advanced post on the complex relationship among consciousness (awareness), emptiness, and well being. Readers with advanced understanding of Buddhist Psychology will recognize the inherent relationships among consciousness, emptiness, and well being and interactions with core Buddhist concepts and experiences such as happiness and suffering, impermanence, non-dual nature, […]

More on Mindful Breathing Whole-Heart Breathing – I have modified and expanded this great process from Thich Nhat Hanh.  If comfortable close your eyes and simply breathe calming and deeply for a few breaths. Add you personal half smile and allow the soothing (sometimes very subtle) sensation to spread all over your face.  Do not […]

Plasticity – The Amazing Human Brain We humans are very fortunate in that our brain is one of the most complex entities in our known universe. Natural selection, genetic modifications, and use-related neuroplasticity have blessed us with a brain quite capable of some of the most complicated tasks imaginable. Some of these tasks (medical miracles, […]

Laughter to Support you in Suffering As we all know life is filled with joy, suffering, and neutrality or boredom. This is THE WAY IT IS! Or, as a very good old friend often reminded me: “It is what it is!”  In Buddhism we preach a middle way in various areas of practice; the same […]

Many Benefits of Mindfulness and Vipassana Meditation The Dalai Lama (Gyatso, Tenzin), the world leader of Tibetan Buddhism, and Paul Ekman, the world famous Psychologist of human emotions, have teamed up to discuss how to use mindful emotional awareness skills to become more emotionally balanced and compassionate. These two highly skilled practitioners have listed 21 […]

Gratitude Practices to Improve your Emotional Mood The following fourteen suggestions may improve your emotional mood.  One reward from practicing gratitude is that we tend to feel a little better no matter what our causes and conditions are at the time.   Here is the list. Make a habit of thanking people.  “Thank you.” Appreciate […]

Healing Meditations for Destructive Emotions Based on the mountain of research supporting the use of regular meditation practices and yoga, it is safe to say that Buddhism and its practices have merged with modern scientific investigation. From the early days of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (the MBSR of Jon Kabat-Zinn) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (the DBT […]

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2023 · Mindful Happiness