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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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June 12, 2018 By Admin

Calming Your Self-Critical Self with Mindfulness

Calming Your Self-Critical Self with Mindfulness

A core problem for many people is their incessant self (or other) criticism. This is a major part of our psychological mind suffering today. In the past life for most people was more difficult, so human basic needs were the energized priorities; today so many of us have been “spoiled” by having basic needs met and lingering with more time to worry about usually less important things.  Observe the number of TV ads aimed at improving how you look, or improving what others may thing about you. Note how the aim of some ads is to improve your perceived status, but not your inner reality of who you really are.Yes, looking ok, being healthy, and more importantly being happy are all important to our successful functioning. However, we tend to be dominated by limbic-brain survival mechanisms that boil down to interpersonal attraction and feeling liked by others. We ask: Am I good enough?  D. W. Winnicott may have some answers for us, and he would be more apt to focus on psychological well-being above superficial qualities – how we look, status,  etc.

Our competitive world and the American economic rat-race cause many to suffer from on-going “red ants” – what I call automatic emotionally loaded negative thoughts. Cognitive Therapy, Recovery Oriented Cognitive Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy all can help reduce our thought-caused suffering. These approaches when implemented correctly work much faster than psychodynamic methods, which tend to prolong and deepen  dependency on therapists and serve mutually self-rewarding experiences (some unconscious for therapists). All evidence-based approaches work, but how well and how fast do they work? There may be a moral question involved when a therapist uses a much slower method with outcomes that are no  better than more efficient methods. They all involve a strong therapeutic alliance and clinical relationship. That also all involve a deeper change process not simply symptom reduction.

Why do we suffer so much from our own thoughts? Why do we sometimes project our own feared or actual character flaws onto and into others? There are so many causes. It all begins with the quality of our early attachment experiences. How good was the quality of your own early attachment experience with parental before thinkers like Freud came to the same conclusion. And, what about the level of your own self-medication? Do you self-medicate to reach some short-term joy or perhaps to just feel a bit better? In self-medication we eventually learn that it just works for a brief period and almost always leads to more serious problems – addictions of all kind including to our “I-Smart” phones.  figures and other caretakers? Were you reasonably satisfied and nurtured, or were you experiencing what The Buddha called dissatisfaction with what is. Did early life experience leave you craving for what you did not receive? We seek pleasure and hope to avoid pain; The Buddha noted this 2600 years ago – way, way

Below I have listed various self-critical patterns that we human have befriended. I also note some mindful ways to counteract their unhelpful emotional effects. Sometimes is means just taking better conscious control overs our CABS – cognition, affect, behavior and sensory sensations. Other times to means learning and using regularly new skills. At times it means we need professionally competent therapeutic help to improve our lives.

Do what is needed! Here the list.

  1. Self-Devaluing thoughts – STOP and be mindful of your strengths. Use the ‘doing” of your strengths as antidotes.
  2. Feeling inadequate – STOP and recall times when you had a lived experience with success no matter how small.
  3. Deep distortion of self-disdain (even self-hate) – STOP and do your best to practice
  4. mindful self-compassion.
  5. Not being “good enough” – STOP and recognize this is a social construct of unhealthy competition. Use strengths.
  6. No spiritual self – Consider what if any spiritual practice you might explore or do more of. Being in nature helps.
  7. Feeling you do not have enough – Recognize that if basic needs have been met, it is time to work harder on higher emotional needs. Stop thinking – only if I had… then I would be happy. This is almost always untrue.
  8. Hopeless perfectionism – STOP and recognize this is also a social construct based on the projections of others, who believed they were not perfect enough. These introjects became your beliefs. There is NO perfectionism; it is totally impossible to achieve it because it does not exist. Think: I am good enough as I am now!
  9. Stuck in conditioned life (samsara) – where when you are happy you become dissatisfied because it does not last, and when you are suffering you become dissatisfied because you are not happy. Craving and trying to prolong happiness and being without happiness both lead to just more suffering. Find small things to have gratitude for.
  10. A list of more mindfulnesss-based “things” you can do to counteract automatic negative thinking and feeling: live in the present moment; stay grounded with helpful cues – things are ok; allow negative thoughts to pass – do not get hooked by them; Un-trap yourself from a painful past by living presently with what is; practice radical acceptance of what you cannot change; meditate and do yoga a lot to cultivate more inner peace; practice self-efficacy in a very conscious manner; learn and live by the Four Noble Truths; let go of your shame so you can flourish; learn and use The UCLA four step process; use cognitive disputation and reframing more and more often; DO better self-care and learn to locate and “feed” your protective dragons; ask your inner self-helper for guidance on how to be healthier and happier; seek out and learn from an ethical mindfulness mentor; if possible, practice more self-love and less self-doubt. Do more of these practices more often; I believe you will find things will improve.
  11. I realize that some of you may not be aware of some of the terms noted above, so do some good “Googling” about them. When you have a set of practices you like – practice them every single day of your life.

A helpful book to read is Brenner, G. (2018). Suffering is Optional: A Spiritual Guide to Freedom…Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Behavior, Buddhism, Calming, Featured, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Self -Kindness, Self Care, Self Medication, Spiritual Energy Tagged With: ACTIVITIES, CALMING, CRITICAL -SELF, MINDFULNESS, SELF CARE

May 26, 2018 By Admin

Meditating in the Gap of Nothingness

Meditating in the Gap of Nothingness

The Buddha taught about your four best friends, that is how the body changes physiology when you sit, stand, walk/move and every time you are lying down. Modern Western neuroscience now supports this statement of 2500+ years ago. Thich Nhat Hanh added the importance of your breath, walking meditation, and half-smile; these realities also change your physiology.  Jon Kabbat-Zinn added the importance of simply being present this moment, and making everything your teacher. The initial subtle changes are in anatomy and nervous tissue, then the brain takes over and the mind-body follows. So you have some very natural “best friends” to assist you in dealing with everyday challenges and suffering.

I have used regularly all of the above in my own practice. I have been especially fascinated with the power of the breath. The multitude of breathing techniques, and the ability to control my own arousal and calming with attention to changes in breath. In my years of practice I have found the quiet gap between breaths and thoughts – between all rising and falling perceptions of conscious awareness – too be especially helpful.  There is phenomena and there is the gap. As you rest in the utter silence of this special time and place, you are nearer to death than at any other time in your awakened states. There is nothing there, no movement, no breath, no life. All that exists in that quick moment is emptiness and vast boundless nothingness. Below I have noted the steps for meditating in your gap. Hope you will do this often.

  1. Sit in a comfortable meditation posture or do this while lying down on your back.
  2. Begin with a few soothing deep, long, slow breaths.  Continue!
  3. Now bring full attention to your breathing – its feel, its motion, its sensation.
  4. Just concentrate a bit on the moving breath in and out, deep and slow.
  5. Now with gentle attention notice the subtle reality of the gap between your in and out as well as you out and in breaths. The gap is in the middle way between the arising and falling of breath.
  6. You may also notice that when meditating you have thoughts; it helps to pay attention to the gap between thoughts rather than the content of thoughts. Just focus on the gaps.
  7. You may also notice that there is a gap between the arising and falling away of emotional awareness.
  8. For some finding the gap just before your ego-mind begins to evaluate an experience can be a real discovery.
  9. For some it would be helpful if you allowed the gap just before you speak harshly. Are the gap not the words.
  10. Now practice! No matter what the content is before or after the gap, ignore it all and focus only on the gap itself.
  11. No matter what comes into consciousness, just let it all go and stay with focused attention on the gap and its internal self-experience.
  12. Perhaps your gap has a color, or some depth, or some other characteristics that makes it more interesting. Just feel your attention there without judgment or evaluation of any kind. Just BE the gap!
  13. For some the gap is far away; great space and distance separates you from being in it. You just see it.
  14. If your gap is far away in the distance, does it appear as a distant and very large valley? What do you see?
  15. If your gap is close to you in space and time, are you silently being in it or moving into it?
  16. Is there silence or sound? If there is sound, what kind of things do you hear?
  17. Do you feel safe in the gap, or does it produce other feelings?
  18. Go as deep into the gap – your personal gap – as you feel comfortable with. Notice!
  19. Can you find peace, quiet, solitude, perhaps even self-love there?  Try it again!
  20. Continue your practice until you decide to stop or meditation time is over.

For more information refer to Bodian, S. (2017). Beyond Mindfulness: The Direct Approach to Peace, Happiness, and Love. Oakland, CA: Non-Duality Press/New Harbinger Publications, pp. 5-19.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Breathing, Featured, Meditation, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Practices Tagged With: BREATH, MEDITATION PRACTICE, THICH NHAT HANH

May 12, 2018 By Admin

Vipassana for Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, and Addictions

Vipassana for Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, and Addictions

The integration of Vipassana meditation with various forms of therapy has for many years been a standard of treatment worldwide and in Vermont, especially when impulse control and emotion regulations issues are included.  Buddhist Psychology offers clear explanations why this intervention may be helpful for so many suffering people. The four most common clinical conditions of depression, anxiety, trauma, and addictions are strongly and positively influenced by regular practice of this form of meditation. Below I have noted in a very basic manner how Vipassana’s effects may be explained via Buddhist Psychology and the dharma.

  1. Impermanence is a focal aspect of Buddhist Psychology, meditation practice, and dharma. This constant of change may be explained best as the rising and falling of all humanly perceived phenomena. Although arising and falling away in conscious awareness include all phenomena, some clarity is needed regarding use of it in clinical practice. Sense impressions, mental events, sensations/feelings/emotions, impulsive behavior, and compulsive cognitions all relate to the clinical conditions noted here. Therefore, any intervention that brings important insight may be useful.
  2. Humans suffer from habitual behaviors and reactions. It is best recognized in attachment to positive  sense objects or experiences and aversion to negative ones. Sensory impressions and mental events about them lead to active roles on the hedonic treadmill. When we use sensory information and experience awareness of something that we evaluate as pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant we behave according to samsara – we crave for more or desire aversion from such phenomena.  We may not at all realize that our attachment/desire to continue the pleasant – as well as the aversion to continue the unpleasant – is our major cause of unhappiness, pain, and suffering.  Likewise the lack off this awareness or insight has the same unpleasant effects – we suffer. We become stuck wanting  what we want but cannot always get, and hoping to avoid unpleasant experiences that may be unavoidable in human life. We tell ourselves only if I had…then I would be happy. General dissatisfaction, unfortunate as it is, is the human norm.
  3. The information and processes noted above do NOT include a separate, long-lasting, independently arising entity called the Self. We do need to recognize that I am NOT my depression, anxiety, trauma, or addictions. I am simply aware or conscious of the fact that “I” am experiencing or feeling depression, anxiety, trauma, or addictions. It is only in more advanced Buddhist practices that we work seriously on the “no-self” reality. There are significant consequences in over-identification with either pleasant or painful experiences.  Believing that it is “my self” that is trapped disempowers us in many important ways.  The Four Noble Truths and The Eight Fold Path can help us.
  4. In very unique ways Vipassana meditation can help us in all of the above.  Here are some skills recommended by S. N. Goenka (now deceased).  First, anchoring the breath by paying attention to the upper lip and the nostrils as you breathe in and out. In anapana sati we simply pay undivided attention to the feelings/sensations as we breathe in and out. Moment-to-moment bare attention is practiced for at least 30 minutes.  To be successful, you must practice letting go of thoughts, emotions, and memories of past suffering.  When they arise simply note that it/they have come up, and pay no attention to it/them – hold a non-evlautaive stance and stay with your breath. It will require significant practice before you can do this well.  Awareness may then be expanded to the throat and chest areas – just feeling sensations of awareness  as you breathe in and out. Second move into about 30 minutes of loving kindness meditation. Third, complete a body scan with attention only from head to toes and back again for about 30 minutes. Just pay attention to the awareness of sensations and feelings as you are guided slowly down and up the body. When distractions come, simply return attention back to the part of your body you are working with now.
  5. Vipassana (Pali for “seeing things as they actually are”) allows us to learn all there is to know in items 1-3 above, and how to benefit significantly from such understandings. Long-term Vipassana practice may eventually bring you to a more stable self-existence, fully focused on your state of meditative awareness without strong reactivity in life. At some point you will become aware of interoception, the ability to feel sensations in your body before they bloom into emotions and behaviors. In the clinical conditions noted, such a skills can be live-saving.

For more information refer to Follette, V. M. and Briere, J. et.al. (2015). Mindfulness-Oriented Interventions for Trauma…New York: Guilford Press, pp. 273-283, 329-342. See also Ariele and Manahemi (1997). Doing Time, Doing Vipassana (Film); and, www.prisondhamma.org.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Addiction, Anxiety, Buddhism, Depression, Featured, Meditation, Mindful Awareness, Trauma, Vipassana Meditation Tagged With: ADDICTIONS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, TRAUMA, VIPASSANA

April 30, 2018 By Admin

Mindfulness-Based Therapy for Trauma

Mindfulness-Based Therapy for Trauma

In line with the thousands of studies now available supporting the use of mindfulness-based interventions in depression, anxiety, chronic pain and addictions (via emotion regulation and interoception), this post will review recommended mindfulness interventions for trauma and PTSD. The post will note information from two recent books on this topic. Also recognize that meta-analytic research in 2004, 2010, and 2014 have found that mindfulness-based interventions improve depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and emotion regulation. These are common conditions co-occurring with addictions and trauma. Such interventions may be carried out as part of various Western therapies: cognitive, behavioral, cognitive-behavioral, dialectical-behavioral, and even psychodynamic.

Follette, Briere and others (2015, 2018) note the many benefits of using mindfulness-based skills as part of trauma therapy. Here is their summary. Mindfulness interventions when implemented by a mindfulness practitioner:

  1. Improves compassion, self-compassion, and radical acceptance;
  2. Improves the negative effects of deprivation, oppression, loss, and harm;
  3. Enhance contemplative responses;
  4. Integrates trauma-informed care with yoga and meditation;
  5. Clarifies emotion mind from reasonable mind;
  6. Empowers personal embodiment and being with one’s conditions;
  7. Expands loving kindness;
  8. Enables effective use of RAIN skills;
  9. Softens harsh, self-critical views of self;
  10. Reduces over-identification with traumatic experiences;
  11. Softens anger and blame;
  12. Brings people to the present – leaving “stuckness” in the past;
  13. Reduces apprehensions about the future;
  14. Strengthens meta-cognitive awareness of thoughts and images as triggers;
  15. Improved emotion regulation – less reactivity and impulsivity;
  16. Teaches breathing retraining for vagal and para-sympathetic activation;
  17. Teaches thoughts and emotions are only thoughts and emotions – not the self;
  18. Improves one’s sense of well-being and happiness; and,
  19. Often enhances self-esteem and empowerment.

Davis (2016) adds the following mindfulness-based effects:

  1. Improves balance in mind-body-heart (soul;);
  2. Empowers better stress reduction practices;
  3. Reduces the personal struggle to control cognitions, emotions, and behaviors;
  4. Enhances one’s observational capacities to just be present and “see” via mindful abiding;
  5. Allows people to recognize experience and life as pleasant, neutral/boring, and unpleasant as norms; and,
  6. Enhances the ability to be grounded when triggered.

For more information refer to Follette, V. M. , Briere, J. et.al. (2015, 2018). Mindfulness-Oriented Interventions for Trauma: Integrating Contemplative Practices. New York: Guilford Publications. See also Davis, L. (2016). Meditations for Healing Trauma. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Benefits of Meditation, Featured, Healing, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, PTSD, Trauma Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MEDITATION, MEDITATION FOR TRAUMA HEALING, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, TRAUMA

February 22, 2018 By Admin

The Reality of Experience

The Reality of Experience

What is deep mindfulness?  Deep mindfulness is the concentrated awareness of all experiences, preferably without evaluating as pleasant or unpleasant. Deep mindfulness is pure awareness as it becomes part of personal consciousness. We humans, however, are always evaluating our experiences and phenomena as pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant – often getting hooked into wanting the pleasant to remain and hoping to avoid the unpleasant. Such patterns make both mental and physical phenomena and our self-perceptions conditioned on outcomes of experiences. All experiences are within deep feeling of the mind and body; cognition, emotion, and behavior become one with related consequences of our actions. All too often, without wise-mind mindfulness skills and wisdom, we make our lives more unsatisfactory. Happiness is there but for our mindlessness about it.

Try this mindfulness challenge!

ALL experiences and phenomena occur in Time, Space, Place, Dimension, Evaluation, and Mind-Body Awareness. Brain-Mind-Body-Heart-Soul awareness of experiences color our reactions to them.  We want more of what we desire/crave and less of what we hope to avoid – all depending on our evaluations of experience as pleasant or unpleasant. Go into a deep contemplation on how time, space, place, dimension, evaluation, and mind-body experience impact every single thing you are aware of. Contemplate very deeply HOW these understanding may help you to become a happier and more peaceful person. What did you uncover? You may wish to record your findings in a journal if you keep one.

For more information refer to Spira, R. (2017). The Nature of Consciousness…Oxford, UK: Sahaja Publications, pp. 151-165.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Classroom, Deep Mindfulness, Featured, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Practices, Self Care Tagged With: DEEP MINDFULNESS, MINDFULNESS, REALITY OF EXPERIENCE

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