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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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December 31, 2017 By Admin

Mindfulness & Happiness – Tools

Mindfulness & Happiness – Tools

In this post I will provide basic instructions for several mind-body practices that allow calm equanimity both at rest and in action.  We will cover RAIN, RAINDROP, Cloud Journeying, Gratitude, Tapping, and other Body-Based practices.

  1. RAIN (Tara Brach) – This simple to use approach helps you to maintain a cognitive focus, thus reducing limbic system reactivity. Simply say to yourself: “RAIN.” R is for recognition of what you are experiencing right now, right here. A is for radically accepting that you cannot simply avoid it; it is happening to you so you must accept it in this present moment. I is for investigate/interest. Bring sincere interest to the experience and investigate what is happening and why it is happening. N is for non-identification or no-self. Is this happening to me or just happening with me in the environment. After the RAIN analysis, simply breathe calmly and quiet down your emotional system. Think: “What should I do right now?”  Do it! See what happens.
  2. RAINDROP (Michele McDonald) – Add to RAIN by cognitively considering if you are: (D) Distracted or aware of recognition, (R) Resisting or accepting, (O) Oblivious or interested/investigating, and (P) Personalizing or non-identifying? Stop the DROPs.
  3. Cloud Journeying (Mariam Gates & Sarah Jane Hinder) – Lying down comfortably with hands placed gently by your sides, breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Close your eyes and slightly extend your exhalation for 10 breaths. Keep the length and force of the exhalation steady for all ten breaths.
  4. Now allow yourself to imagine being lifted gently, floating into the air safely. Use your imagination and land yourself gently in any environment/place you desire your mind-body to be. Feel the peace and equanimity as your breathe deeply and slowly at that selected location. Rest there in your mind!  Check to see if your emotional condition has improved.
  5. Deep Gratitude (David Whyte) – Rest, breathe calmly, and allow yourself to have gratitude for the simple things in your life. Have an inner conversation, in which you say sub-vocally “Thank you” for…… Repeat this process until you note at least ten simple things you do have right now in your life. Go deeper; appreciate the sacredness of your cherished human life. Breathe calmly and rest.
  6. Body Tapping – Callahan Technique or EFT (Amy Kurtz) – If trained to do so, try this tapping sequence. Take a few breaths and do your best to decide what emotional experience you wish to clear out of your reactive mind and body. For example “I am anxious.” Now begin your phrase or mantra: “Even though I am anxious, I love and accept myself.” Now with 2-3 finger tips tap on each of the following meridian points about 8 times and say your mantra out loud as you tap. Here is the point tapping sequence: a) softer side of hands between wrist and small finger; b) the spot where your inner eyebrows begin; c) outside of the eyes  next to the side of each eye; d) upper part of eye sockets below the middle of the eye; e) center space between nose and upper lip; f) indented spot on chin below lower lip; g) the spot an inch below the lower edge of the breastbone next to your throat indentation; h) 3-4 inches below arm pits at  at softer but dense area; and, i) the center of the crown of your head.  Evaluate your emotional condition, and  repeat this tapping sequence as needed. If things become worse, seek professional help. Remember, our emotions are very powerful human experiences.
  7. BE Your True Self (M. A. Singer, etc.) – Some key ways to counteract typical negative emotional habit formations are listed below. a) Recognize that your true spiritual self is the opposite of your ego-defensive, reactive self; b) mindfully recognize what part of your self is unhappy/disturbed when things do not go the way you want them to go; c) notice your defensive-ego, self-ideal protectiveness when you engage in repetitive, emotionally reactive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors – almost always stimulated by external events; d) understand that our brain and body are built to seek pleasure and avoid pain (Freud) and to respond to external experiences with pleasant or unpleasant internal “feeling” responses (The Buddha); e) Get into the cognitive habit of reframing all negative reactions – seek what alternative interpretation might apply; f) Note that when you live emotionally in the past, certain suppressed/repressed experiences stay alive emotionally in you; g) Recognize that when you live fearing the future, you again trap yourself in a negative expectancy syndrome; and, h) Practice this – breathe calmly, relax your body, do yoga and meditate, walk, calms your reactive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors – and consciously LET GO of the experiential reaction over and over and over again. Make this your practice. Things may improve.
  8. The Six Best Friends (The Buddha, etc.) – Whenever you experience pain and suffering, try this psycho-physiological intervention. Do these six things in a cycle; see if your inner experience improves. You may need to repeat the process. Smile, Breathe calmly and deeply, Sit, Stand still, Move your body, Walk a while, then try lying down for a couple minutes.  Repeat as needed. Feeling any better?

There are many sources for these suggestions. The 6th item is based somewhat on Live Interview: M. A. Singer on The Untethered Soul…New Harbinger and Non-Duality Press. Retrieved 12-11-17.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Happiness, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Tools Tagged With: BE YOUR TRUE SELF, BODY TAPPING, CLOUD JOURNEYING, DEEP GRATITUDE, MINDFUL & HAPPINESS TOOLS, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, RAIN, RAINDROP, TOOLS TO MINDFULNESS

December 22, 2017 By Admin

Happiness #5 – Final Post in Happiness Characteristics

Happiness #5 – Last Post on Characteristics

This will be my last post for a while on the important topic of happiness.  Here I will hit a few highlights about simple joy and lasting inner experiences of true happiness.

Simple Joy – We experience simple joy in simple experiences, small sometimes subtle events in our lives. Joy sometimes comes into being via simple acts of caring, kindness, compassion, gratitude, beauty, and witnessing nature’s wonders. Another more powerful form of joy arises by being generous in many ways with others – even the most basic humane gestures. To experience joy we need to be mindful; we need to pay attention, attention, attention. This cannot happen when we are negatively aroused about something that makes us unhappy. At these troubling times our attention is negatively focused on the person, place, or thing “causing” our suffering. In reality we cause this suffering by our ego-based attitudes. The very old Taoist idea of tzu-jan; to be able to enjoy joy we must be mindfully aware in the present moment and not preoccupied with past or future. In this way we may be swept up in the natural flow of joyous experiences no matter how small. Like the Lotus Sutra notes, pursuing enlightenment and awakening with full joyous awareness allows us to both experience and spread joy. Chinese Zen Master Dongshan reminded us to practice only with joy in our hearts. Be as close as possible to the sources of passing and lasting joy.  When you can, become the joy. Use all of your senses to do this.

Ultimate Happiness – Some might say there is no such thing as ultimate happiness. I disagree! You may be able to sustain ongoing joyous experience as a norm, thus being open to deeper, stronger happiness. What is you bliss?  How do you feel it? When do you feel it? Do more of that.! Be that! What about the flow of happiness? Do you become aware of the flow of it?  Can you enter the flow to experience “the felt sense” of it? These causes and conditions may lead us to ultimate mind-body stimulation with deep awe. What about your spiritual experience? Do you know what I mean?  The outcome of full mind-body-heart-soul consequences of being happy is a deep, personal spiritual realization. Again, use all of your senses, remain present, and stop worrying about past regrets and future challenges.  “Be Here Now.” Be the happiness.

For more information refer to Enkyo O’Hara, P. (November 29, 2017). Joy Arises from Simplicity in tricycle@tricycle.org and Quintiliani, A. R. (2014). Mindful Happiness… Shelburne, VT: Red Barn Books. (revised book coming soon).

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Happiness, MIndfulness Tagged With: HAPPINESS, HAPPINESS CHARACTERISTICS, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS

December 21, 2017 By Admin

More Characteristics on Happiness – Happiness #4

More Characteristics of Happiness – Happiness #4

Here I will continue my posts about the common characteristics of happiness.  Here is the list.

  1. Keep an Open Mind – Maintaining an open mind opens up doorways to interesting things in the world, some of which may help you to become happier. Also, open-mindedness reduces inner tension about holding strong negative opinions about others. Less inner tension usually implies more equanimity, thus more happiness. Bertrand Russell informed us that open-mindedness expands personal interest in the many wonders of the world. George Bernard Shaw noted that open-mindedness helps our change process, which often means more creativity and interests.  Norman Vincent Peale said happiness is based on the absence of hate and worry; open-mindedness helps here.
  2. Act on Your Purpose – Personal purpose in life is a very strong factor.  You may need inner silence to connect with your higher self and its core purpose. John Locke noted we must avoid misery and pursue happiness. Friedrich Nietzsche reminded that the “why” of our life helps us cope with almost any adversity. Ralph Waldo Emerson suggested that life’s purpose is not happiness but being compassionate, useful, and honorable. Leonardo Da Vinci equated work with purpose and purpose with work. The Buddha advised that ultimate purpose is to work toward ultimate truth.
  3. Rest and Relaxation – To be happy we need to relax, and to relax we need to be courageous regarding the demands on our time, space, and energy. The techno-craziness of the current world’s constant distractions make rest and relaxation more difficult. Sometimes, as Nathaniel Hawthorne noted, frantically seeking happiness is a no-win situation; we need to relax so it can find us. John Lennon noted that we need to shut off our mind-chatter, relax and float a while. Thich Nhat Hanh and Oprah Winfrey tell us to breathe and let go of all troubling thoughts, and emotions.
  4. The Quality of Your Thoughts – Marcus Antonius reminded us that happiness can depend upon the quality of our most private thoughts. Mahatma Gandhi said we must forgive to be happy; holding on to negative views about others does not help us. Ralph Waldo Emerson suggested that seeking spiritual inspiration improves our mind and happiness. Sometimes just being open to the wonders of the world – nature, growth, friendship, discovery, love, is helpful. Use all your senses to remain with wonder.

For more information refer to Baxter Harmon, L. (2015). Happiness a-z…New York: MJF Books, pp. 111-181.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Happiness, MIndfulness Activities, Thoughts & Opinions Tagged With: CHARACTERISTICS OF HAPPINESS, HAPPINESS, MINDFUL HAPPINESS

December 20, 2017 By Admin

Happiness #3 – More Characteristics

Happiness #3 – More Characteristics

Here I will continue the discussion on common characteristics of personal happiness. As you read these posts, please do your best to experiment with these characteristics.  See if you can experience more happiness without a frantic search for it. Ultimately it is about a special form of human love. Here is the list.

  1. Friendship – True friendship is about mutual caring, reciprocal helping, and lots and lots of sharing.  True friends may become “family” and sometimes are more dependable.  Seneca reminded us that true friends allow you to bury your most secret stories inside their hearts. Epicurus noted friendship as the greatest possession. Ralph Waldo Emerson said friendship was a masterpiece of nature. Aristotle pursued this further by noting that true friendship is like one soul belonging to two people.  Develop and cherish a few very good friends!
  2. Gratitude – Gratitude combines deep appreciation and a special type of grace. Ralph Waldo Emerson advised us to do our best to find a few things to have gratitude for every single day. Gratitude is viewed as a major mind-body-soul strength. Hold deep gratitude for the few people who help you rekindle your inner light (Albert Schweitzer). John F. Kennedy said we need to thank people who help improve our lives. Marcus Tullius Cicero noted that gratitude is the most important virtue in life. Tecumseh advisedus to give thanks every single morning at first awakening. The Buddha and Friederich Schiller noted that happiness happens in gratitude – when we deal with what we cannot change. Abraham Lincoln noted that we should not worry, but we should pursue simple healthy living.
  3. Inspiration is Very Important – John F. Kennedy suggested that we are inspired most when we contribute to the better good. Find inspiration in love, divinity, prayer, meditation, and when your soft heart has been touched. Jane Goodall said we need to make positive differences in the lives of others.  Mahatma Gandhi noted that a single kind act may be more powerful than many people bowing in prayer. Marcus Aurelius implied that we have power only over our mind but not external situations; it all depends on how we react to what life brings.
  4. Joyous Experiences – Pablo Picasso said good art can wash away painful dust on the soul.  George Santayana noted that we are born and we will all die, so do your best to enjoy what lies between. Dr. Seuss reminded us to smile, even in suffering. Rumi told us to always act from our soul. The great meditation teacher Thich Nhat Hanh noted that joy and a smile go together, but it is unclear which causes what to occur. Marianne Williamson tells us to recognize how good things are and joy will follow.
  5. Kindness is it! – Booker T. Washington noted be kind to others and you will be happier. Do random acts of kindness as your norm. Xenophon told us to praise others, often. Richard Carlson advised us to let others know what you appreciate about them. Samual Taylor Coleridge emphasized that kindness can
  6. Mother Teresa suggested that a kind
    come in very small doses: a smile, a kind face, a simple compliment. smile is an act of love. The Dalai Lama XIV said that his religion is kindness! Ralph Waldo Emerson advised us to be kind to others before it is too late to do so. Kahlil Gibran referred to kindness a strong manifestation of caring.

For more information refer to Baxter Harmon, L. (2015). Happiness a-z: The Gleeful Guide to Finding and Following Your Bliss. New York: MJF Books, pp. 39-93.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Featured, Happiness, MIndfulness Tagged With: CHARACTERISTICS OF HAPPINESS, FINDING BLISS, HAPPINESS, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, PERSONAL HAPPINESS

December 6, 2017 By Admin

Profile on Characteristics of Happiness – Post 2

Happiness Characteristics – Post #2

Below I will note a few key characteristics of experiences and attitudes associated with happiness. Do your best to experience some of these each day – as much as is possible. Here is the first list.

  1. Being Fully Alive to Experiences – Do your best to be fully involved in mind-body ways in any and all positive experiences you encounter. No matter how small or short-lasting, be the experience. This means we should savor each moment as a precious moment, a precious moment that may never come again (Omar Khayyam). Emily Dickinson suggests that is what makes human life so sweet. Arnold Toynbee noted that when possible we should make work into play. Ellen Degeneres suggests that we should pretend to be butterflies, with a lifespan of about two weeks. If you had only two week to live would you be able to find joy in the moments? Use all your senses when you encounter any form of joy.
  2. Bliss Consciousness is Part of it – Joseph Campbell advised us to follow our personal bliss. This type of experience may awaken us to higher consciousness. Be the bliss, and experience it in your true self. Deepak Chopra tells us that nothing is more important than connecting with your inner bliss  Guru Nanak recommended that we meditate in our solitude as a means to attain pure bliss, and Swami Sivananda notes that blissful meditation brings us to intense inner joy. William Wordsworth suggested that bliss of solitude brings deep pleasure to the heart.
  3. Contentment is the Recognition of Pleasant Joy – To Osho, perhaps the core of contentment is experiencing the serenity of satisfaction about what is right now. Henry Ward Beecher suggested that happy contentment is an ability to find happiness in very common things and experiences. Oprah Winfrey noted that having gratitude for what you have now opens up the way to have even more. The way we live each day ends up to be the way we spend our life (Annie Dillard).
  4. Delight is a Part of Happiness – We feel delight when our hearts and souls are are light and gladdened. Kahlil Gibran noted that the joy of delight can be found when we look deeply into our own hearts. Take delight in the wonders of nature and life – it always changes (The Buddha and Marcus Aurelius). Go with the flow of the changing.
  5. Enlightenment may be End-Stage Happiness – Huston Smith informed us that intense, lasting suffering led The Buddha to enlightenment, which was an understanding of how the mind works and how to discipline it.  Such awareness may lead to compassion and inner peace. Denis Waitley noted that happiness is purely spiritual and related to love, gratitude, grace and wisdom. Japanese Zen Master Dogen suggested that sincere practice leads to enlightenment. Like The Buddha, Albert Einstein advised that happiness and enlightenment require liberation from the self.

Here you have the first five characteristics of happiness as presented by Louise Baxter Harmon (2015). Happiness a-z: The Gleeful Guide to Finding and Following Your Bliss. New York: MJF Books, pp. 1-37.  

Filed Under: Buddhism, Featured, Happiness, Psychology Tagged With: BLISS CONSCIOUSNESS, CONTENTMENT, DELIGHT, ENLIGHTENMENT, HAPPINESS, MINDFUL HAPPINESS

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