Helper Self-Care is Important
In the most current issue of The National Psychologist (July-August, 2019) an article linked helper effectiveness, risk management, and clinical outcomes to helper self-care. To make a long story shorter, I will simply paraphrase and re-word the suggestions. These recommendations support YOUR emotional survival and successful risk management as a helper as well as your clients’ progress.
Here are the specific self-care ideas. Since it is my post, I will add some of my own ideas.
Strategies for Helper/Therapist Self-Care
Focus on your own self-value and growth (personal and professional):
- Involve yourself in your own personal counseling/therapy if needed.
- Practice awareness and monitoring skills (mindfulness) regarding your needs.
- The regular practice of mindfulness and self-compassion skills is recommended.
- Spend some time learning and doing what improves resilience – block out time in your schedule.
- Do your best to maintain healthy personal boundaries at work and in life.
- Recognize and act upon limitations and manage your time well.
- Cultivate and practice activities that enhance belonging and spirituality.
- Monitor the quality of your inner speech and thoughts – improve them as needed.
- Do the same for your inner emotional experiences.
- Practice interoception by intentionally noting your inner body feelings – improve them.
Focus more closely on what you find rewarding, reinforcing AND take care of yourself:
- Experience the rewards of your work, and have gratitude for them
- Understand the stressors, risks, and burnout issues in your job role without exaggeration.
- Get help – obtain supervision, consultation, confer with peers.
- Do your best not to complain often, since this will make stress reactivity worse.
- Figure out ways to get what you need – rest, nutrition, fun, hydration, exercise, connection.
- Smile more! Yes, have the intention and behavioral response to improve facial emotions.
- Practice a regular exercise regimen.
Nurture your relational world and its objects:
- Be active in peer support groups, supervision and training activities.
- Network with others via continuing education workshops and meaningful conversations.
- Schedule regular meetings with mentors, peers, supervisors.
- Make the best of positive emotions in all significant relationships.
- If you have pets, spend some quality time with your pets. Play!
- Make sure you have a positive social life outside of work.
- Discover and re-visit what you find helpfully humorous in life.
Pursue creativity and personal growth in your inner and outer environments:
- Do what you can to make your office or work areas rewarding and reinforcing to you.
- Consider all of your senses in the above endeavor.
- If you can limit the number of high risk-high demand clients you work with.
- Obtain administrative supports that may reduce your stress level and intensity.
- Take regular self-care breaks at work, alone and in small groups.
- Do not isolate! When we feel wounded and worn out, we tend to isolate ourselves.
- If possible limit your exposure to traumatic experiences and material.
- Practice periods of silence and solitude in nature (“forest bathing” practices).
- Schedule and take time off and go on vacations – even if just staying at home.
- Continue to pursue your values-driven behaviors.
- Continue to learn new things that may improve your work role and outcomes.
- If spiritual do more practice.
- When engaged in pleasurable activities, use all your senses to experience them.
For more information refer to Bryant, L. M. (July/August, 2019). Self-care is essential to risk management. The National Psychologist.
Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC
From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha
Author of Mindful Happiness
12 steps may be used to enhance internalization of sacred writing and/or to support internal healing of the participants. You have three choices here: read sacred scripture based on your personal spiritual and religious practices; make up your own deep healing mantra and write it down; and/or combine both practices noted above. The wording of this post will be based on the second possibility above. Note that if this is done in a group format, people take turns reading scripture/self-healing mantras aloud and sharing from time to time their emotional responses with each other. Personal deep respect and values-driven cognition, emotion, and behavior apply here. The process may work best if you practice it with cognition, affect, behavior, sensations, intuition, and with all your senses.
years. I missed all the basics in grades 1 and 2. When I returned to school in the third grade (with an incompetent teacher) I was hopelessly behind in the basics of English language skills, math skills, etc. Things were so bad that I had to participate in special education for a number of months just to catch up on the basics. I failed in my early educational experiences, but I succeeded in many other ways later. Lucky for me that my earlier school failure did not harm my self-esteem. However, even today I notice that I work harder academically than necessary for no clear and conscious reasons. The love from my parents and siblings helped me during my earlier failures. With parental and family supports and encouragement, hard work, and rigid determination I was able to do better later in public school. That said, I did no studying in grades 9 and 10, but decided to open a few books in grade 11 just in case I decided to apply to college. Some, very few, of my high school teachers thought I possessed good potential. I was more interested in part-time work to pay for my car, and going to parties with my friends. My real introduction to learning happened when I was a first year college student; I pulled an all-nighter for a Greek History exam. My Dean had warned me that I may be required to leave college in December due to poor grades (C-s), so I decided to do some academic work. There was NO ROOM for failing in education in my family. My father was totally shocked when he came to my room to say goodnight at 11PM! At that moment I realized (an AHAhhh! moment) that there were some parts of learning and especially reading that I liked. My father, a man of far greater intelligence and wisdom than I will ever have, was unable to pursue his own education – or even complete high school. His father, a skilled stone mason, was injured at work so my dad had to quit school to support 
his own family of origin. My parents behaviorally conditioned us to desire higher education and training. Of four children, three completed doctorate degrees and one had a long and very successful career in a specialized trade. I graduated with high honors from college and eventually earned two Master’s degrees, a Certificate of Advanced Study, and a Ph.D. (in Psychology). I have had a successful 35-year career in mental health and addictions treatment (mainly psychology of healing) as well as teaching in higher education (The Ohio State University and The University of Vermont, etc.). I now feel generally good about my accomplishments. Now on to the very famous people you all know; these people made it BIG eventually but had many, many failures along the way. They never gave up!
It is called an anchor, an anchor that protects us from the random ups and downs of samsaric life. Equanimity helps us to “see” more clearly, thus enabling us to respond to challenging causes and conditions without reactive emotional dysregulation. Ultimately, being in longer periods of equanimity also frees our minds, hearts, and souls from afflictive emotions and experiences. We may learn to handle pain, blame, and loss in a more balanced manner, and we may learn not to attach too strongly to pleasure, praise, and personal benefits. Yes, it is a strong sign of a mature person in a matter practice; it signifies emotional and spiritual maturity. It is the best “Way.”
position to take on the losses we face, we need to become experts in pursuing mindful Right Action. To do so, we must be regular practitioners of mindfulness – mindfulness in its more structured forms. We must live it! This process includes our own self-care: regular meditation and/or yoga, exercise, healthy diet, healthy sleep, and healthy relationships. With the skills and strengths that come from such a regimen of self-care, we are better prepared to adapt, cope, and respond well to emotionally challenging causes, conditions, and situations. Be strong in your contemplative mindfulness; find and use your personal inner strengths; and, follow your deep values as well as personal aspirations. Remain active in your pursuit of equanimity, emotional stability, resilience, and become a much happier person. Part of this process of renewal is to give generously to others. Try not to forget this fact.
way of life, a way to experience being in all its pleasant, neutral, and unpleasant realities. Their work integrates fully modern clinical psychology and the ancient wisdom of Buddhist psychology. The process echoes The Four Noble Truths: What causes human suffering? Is there a way to end human suffering? What role does mindfulness, especially meditation play in this process? What makes up the path to transformation from suffering to happiness?
reality of no-self, or a static, permanent and inherent self is a core teaching of Buddhism; however, humans do experience life in Samsara via their perceived self – the experiencer of events and circumstances. Sensory awareness and mental formation make our realities. It is important to know yourself well, thus it is important to go deeper and deeper into the sources of your self-experiences. Negative emotions and feelings cause great suffering; fears and internal turmoil prevent happiness. To move beyond suffering, we need to understand and experience self-compassion and self-love. Our best hope may be the regular practice of 