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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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December 13, 2016 By Admin

Using Your Compassionate Mind in Psychotherapy

Using Your Compassionate Mind in Psychotherapy

For you to become a more compassionate therapist, follow the details noted below. These preconditions, skills, and practices are required as a baseline for  compassionate practice.

  1. You need the ability to access calmness in an environment of emotional suffering, chaos, or conflict.  Most people do this by breathing in calm, slow, deep patterns – and maintaining equanimity in their interpersonal processes.
  2. You need to understand the relative power of the three main parts of the brain: prefrontal/frontal (executive); reward centers (habits); and, the limbic system (survival, emotions).
  3. You need to fully understand the relative power of cognition, emotion, and behavior – sequential and complex systemic interactions.compassion_mindfulhappiness
  4. You need too be skilled in regular mindfulness practices. Regular means regular!  No textbook applications without personal experience in mindfulness practice.
  5. You need to have or cultivate an open, warm, soft-heartedness in dealing with yourself and others.
  6. You need to be skilled in empathic alliance building with your clients, resting mainly on unconditional positive regard and kindness.
  7. You need to be skilled in at least one evidence-based therapy in the process of helping.
  8. Lastly, you need to know the differences between mindfulness ad metallization.

Here are some core differences between mindfulness and metallization processes.

Mindfulness, among other things, includes: Observation with prolonged attention; inner calmness; skill mindfulhappiness_compassiondescribing what you observe; ability to concentrate your awareness; being nonjudgmental; being nonreactive; and, acting in the best interests of others – placing others before your own self-interests.

Metallization, among other things, includes: recognition of your own metacognition about your own immediate
experience; having mental awareness when change occurs; understanding your emotional experience when interacting with others; reflection on the mind-motivations of others when they behave with you in various ways; using limited theories about the mind-set (motivation) of others when they harm you emotional or physically.

So, you see there are huge differences between the practice of mindfulness an the uses of metallization in your work.

Worksheet on the practice of more compassionate connection with others:

After recognizing what has happened (the why) to motivate you to become more compassionate in your work, respond to the following inquiries.

  1. WHO is directly involved?
  2. WHAT will you do behaviorally – your immediate compassionate intention and response?
  3. WHEN will you do it?
  4. HOW will you do it – back to the what?
  5. Can you notice the difference in your inner feeling state as you apply KINDNESS in your interaction?
  6. WHAT outcome was desired, an what outcome occurred?

To improve your practice of compassionate therapy, obtain more training and supervision. You will also NEED to apply the same compassion to yourself when you suffer. See if you can live with more compassion in your

entire life not just in your work.  If you are also a spiritual person, how can you use this quality to improve how you live with/work with compassion?  Good luck! In the final analysis, practicing with more compassion will most likely improve your outcomes and your level of personal satisfaction – even happiness.

For more information refer to Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, pp. 421-446.  See also Stewart, J. M. (ed.). (2014). Mindful Acceptance and the Psychodynamic Evolution.  Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, pp. 111-132.

 

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Compassion, Featured, MIndfulness, Psychotherapy, Therapist Tagged With: COMPASSION, COMPASSIONATE MIND, MINDFULNESS, PSYCHOTHERAPY

November 7, 2016 By Admin

Basic Self-Compassion Process

Basic Self-Compassion Process

Practice:

To practice self-compassion as needed, follow these specific self-compassion steps.

  1. Sensitize your mindfulness skills to become aware of your immediate experience of suffering.
  2. Hold a strong intention to respond with self-kindness. Use self-talk to be kind to yourself.
  3. Begin by softening your body. Relax your muscles, tendons, joints. Hold a natural half smile on your face.love-yourself-mindfulhappiness2
  4. It may help to move your body gently.
  5. Use your “self-loving breath” to enhance calmness in the  body. Slow, deep in and slow, deep out as you smile.
  6. Place mental attention on emotional experiences that were pleasant for you. Recall with all your senses.
  7. Utilize any helpful, caring interpersonal relationships you have in the self-compassion process.
  8. Seek out your experiential spiritual center and inhabit it. Go there with you mind-heart.
  9. Practice loving kindness meditation for yourself.
  10. Notice! Rest!

Inspired and influenced by the work of C. Germer and K. Neff. Especially Germer, C. and Neff, K. (April, 2016).  Mindful Self-Compassion.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Compassion, Featured, Meditation, Practices, Self Compassion Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICE, SELF COMPASSION

March 10, 2016 By Admin

Compassion Fatigue: Risks and Solutions

Risks and Solutions for Compassion Fatigue

Perhaps nothing more than compassion fatigue causes more helpers to prematurely exit their fields.  First responders are generally seen thas the most at risk for compassion fatigue (and possibly PTSD), followed by emergency room medical staff. A third group, medical and clinical staff working with high risk terminally-prone patients is also highly impacted. The risk increases as the age and observed suffering of the clinical population decreases.

Clinicians (psychologists, clinical social workers, addictions counselor, mental health counselors, and art therapists) are negatively impacted by both the serious suffering they “witness” in their psychotherapy sessions, suicide and homicide risks,  increasing liability problems, AND by relatively poor funding for the needed services they provide.  As a norm behavioral health funding lags far behind medical funding in person-hours of services delivered. This ever-present dearth of adequate financial supports translates into Compassion_fatigue_112793704these helpers spending more time doing the ever-growing bureaucratic demands of health care. I have always been amazed at what I call “organic bureaucracy”  in health care services.  Apparently, there is enough new money for more administrators, clerks and software reporting/tracking/auditing programs, but not enough to make the jobs of clinicians more efficient and practical.  The more time clinicians are required by funders and regulators to work on paper and EMRs, the less time they have to help their clients CHANGE. When clients change they tend to use less health care services, thus saving money. For example, many studies have documented that effective substance abuse treatment services save more money for states/governments than they cost to deliver – and yes these studies have been replicated. One would think that with the epidemic of mass-killings by gunfire in the United States and the out-of-control addictions here (5% of the world’s population using 60-70% of the world’s opioids), that funding sources would increase resources in this important psychological-health area – but it is not happening. Lots of big talk, but very little big action.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Let’s take a look at what companion fatigue is and some of the known causes. Along with vicarious and secondary traumatic stress, compassion fatigue eats up the emotional and physical energies required to do this difficult psychological work.  Work dread and tired irritability slowly replace the inner joy that once came with the work.  Sadness, powerlessness, anxiety and depression may eventually occur in the exhausted helper. Where once their was high reinforcement and sympathetic joy to do the job, now there is more stress_balldisappointment and resentment.  As the worker enters compassion fatigue, his/her error rate increases; as one’s error rate increases there is more job stress, job insecurity and client risk/liability. Clinical supervisors, who once helped to shield their supervisees from the administrative and emotional “trauma” of doing this relatively-lower paid job, are now also caught up in the BIG machine of utilization and documentation requirements. Some less than effective supervisors actually become the primary source of clinician stress on the job. It all becomes one ball of pain and suffering with its own feedback loops.

What are Some of the Causes of Compassion Fatigue?

I will simply list some well-known causes here:

  1. Personal inability to leave the emotions of the job at work;
  2. Over-exposure to clients’ traumatic experiences, especially if the helper has unresolved trauma;
  3. Short-staffing patterns due to funding realities;
  4. Longer hours at the job, especially in non-clinical work duties;
  5. Lack of human validation experiences and personal power at work;
  6. Weak personal boundaries with clients, which cause client experiences to be internalized more;
  7. Emotional triggering of one’s own suffering in life (people, places, things, senses, object relations, etc.);
  8. Taking on more work – not taking breaks, not eating lunch in a healthy way, adding shifts, etc.;
  9. Weak self-care practices, and an inability to apply them mindfully;
  10. Mindlessness in the pressure and rush of it all;
  11. Excessive guilt for not being able to reduce a client’s suffering as much as you had wished to;
  12. Repeating automatic negative thoughts and feelings related to work roles and duties;
  13. Over-identification with client stories and emotions, perhaps stimulating your own attachment reality;
  14. Dehumanization of clients or black humor about clients – a sure sign of coming or present burnout;
  15. Experiencing more psycho-physical symptoms of stress reactivity, thus causing more stress;
  16. Self-medication behaviors as an effort to reduce your own emotional suffering; etc. etc.

What Can be Done to Reduce Compassion Fatigue?

I will simply lost some well-known supports and possible solutions here:

  1. Always apply more self-compassion (if you do not know how to, get help to learn how to);
  2. Practice boundary-making rituals when you leave your work location;
  3. Become more active advocating for improved behavioral health funding (state and national);
  4. Learn self-validating skills, and actively validate and emotionally-support co-workers;
  5. Perhaps practice anonymous random acts of kindness at work;
  6. Try not to overload yourself with high-trauma clients, and get help for yourself if necessary;
  7. Practice “enough is enough” by not taking on additional voluntary work;
  8. Get very serious about implementing self-care practices – and be mindful about it, schedule it;
  9. Learn and practice mindfulness skills (breathing, stretching, meditation, yoga, mindful walking)
  10. Do more regular, daily exercise;
  11. Use disputation skills from cognitive therapy for auto-pilot negative thinking;
  12. Be aware of devaluation of clients, and catch yourself mindfully BEFORE you engage in it;
  13. Try to notice something positive in every client you work with – include co-workers;
  14. Spend more time in nature;
  15. Share your feelings with a trusted colleague or friend;
  16. Transform your experience into personal writing, journaling, poetry, art, etc.
  17. Practice mindfulness-based stress reductions skills often (meditation, yoga, etc.);
  18. Obtain professional help with your stress reactivity and, especially, with self-medication behaviors; and,
  19. Begin to value yourself more – like and love yourself as much as possible.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

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Filed Under: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Compassion, Compassion Fatigue, Featured Tagged With: COMPASSION FATIGUE, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI

February 18, 2016 By Admin

Compassion Practice – Pope Francis

The Holy Year of Mercy

Like the Fourteenth Dalai Lama of Tibet, Pope Francis in The Church of Rome, is sharing his opinion on compassion and mercy in life.  Although Pope Francis distinguishes compassion (a human action) PopeFrancis-Mindful-Happinessfrom mercy (a divine action), the two positive conditions are quite similar in values, attitudes, and behaviors.  Pope Francis has initiated “The Holy Year of Mercy” in the Catholic faith.  I will provide a very brief summary about what actions are being recommended.  We all should remember what Saint John of the Cross said about how we will be judged.  “In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone.”  Within your own private introspection, where do you now stand on living your life with compassion, mercy, and  love? Here are some suggestions from the Papacy.

From The Seven Corporal Works of Mercy

  1. We need to feed the hungry.
  2. We need to provide drink to the thirsty.
  3. We need to dress the naked.
  4. We need to house the pilgrim.
  5. We need to visit the sick.
  6. We need to visit the imprisoned (physical and emotional).
  7. We need to bury the dead.

From The Seven Spiritual Works of Mercy

  1. We need to advise those in doubt.
  2. We need to teach the ignorant.
  3. We need to admonish the sinner.
  4. We need to console the afflicted.
  5. We need to forgive offenses.
  6. We need to be patient with all people.
  7. We need to pray (in your own way) for both the living and the dead.

So, during this special year of practicing mercy for all people, where do you stand at this time? You may want to reflect and then act in a positive manner.

For more information refer to Pope Francis (2016). The Name of God is Mercy. New York: Random House, pp. 97-99.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

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Filed Under: Compassion, Featured, Mindful Awareness, Mindful Loving, People, Pope Francis Tagged With: HOLY YEAR OF MERCY, MINDFULNESS, POPE FRANCIS

December 31, 2015 By Admin

Ideas about Attitudes of Gratitude – M. J. Ryan

Attitudes of Gratitude Thoughts and Applications

M. J. Ryan presents some interesting practices in the book, Attitudes of Gratitude (1999).  Here are some ideas. Hope you will practice some of them soon. As The 14th Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh suggest, MindfulHappiness-Gratitudewe should always appreciate the preciousness and miracle of human life – our own life no matter what the challenges are.

  1. Understand that your emotional mood and the quality of your thoughts depend on where you place your attention and reflection.  Do your best to pay more attention to the softness and warmth of your human heart and soul. Pay more attention to positive experiences and less attention to negative experiences.
  2. When you are plagued with GIANT problems or BIG emotional reactions to not-so-giant problems, look into the nature of the problem itself to see if any solutions arise.  Life is all about arising and falling experiences – both good and bad. Causes and conditions present and lead to pleasure, pain/suffering, or neutrality.
  3. Pay much more attention to the little joys (“wonderment”) you may be missing by being on autopilot and rushing around trying to be happier trough material gain. Wealth and fame are nice, but they DO NOT bring lasting, inner happiness. Your happiness is an INSIDE JOB!
  4. Do your best to be in the present moment of experiences.  The past is gone; you cannot change it.  The future is not here yet; you cannot control it.  Your real power comes from responding to whatever is now in your present moment experience.
  5. Pay much more attention to what is working for you now rather than what you desire and crave from the past or the future. If you are not present-minded, you cannot appreciate and have gratitude for what exists now.
  6. Reflect upon and honor your close friends, your family, and your ancestors.  Use any of their spiritual supports to do well in adversity and to do great in happy experiences.
  7. Practice meditations on appreciation, gratitude, and loving kindness.  These practices build your capacity to be happy.  These practices also improve compassionate actions and self-compassion. Do you have self-compassion?
  8. Periodically, live a whole day as if it were your last day living on earth. Notice! See what you decide to do.
  9. In the final analysis, Buddhism informs us that life on earth will contain suffering, joy, and neutrality.  All three conditions will occur in your experiences.  You cannot escape suffering! How you respond will determine your level of satisfaction or your quality of life in the long run.  Be happy! Be at peace! Be in the present moment!

For more information refer to Ryan, M. J. (1999). Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your life. New York: MJF Books.

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By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

MindfulHappiness_Amazon           mindful-happiness_barnes_and_noble

Filed Under: Compassion, Dalai Lama, Featured, Gratitude Meditation, Happiness, Human Needs, Inner Peace, Joy and Suffering, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Nhat Hanh Thich, Practices, Training Tagged With: ATTITUDES OF GRATITUDE, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, M.J.RYAN, MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, TRAINING

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