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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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April 12, 2015 By Admin

Mindfulness Training

Mindfulness-Based Emotion Regulation

mindful-happiness_emotional-balance

The following emotional regulation practices (also called emotional balance skills) have been supported by over 2500 years of mindfulness training and current psychological research on human emotions.  These practices/skills are to be practiced before they are needed, and directly applied when they are needed.  Here is the list.

1) Practice noticing and expanding the gap (time/space/energy) between internal emotional impulse and external behavioral activation.

2) Focus on calm, slow, deep breathing when overly aroused emotionally.

3) Be mindfully aware of what (people, places, things, memories, etc.) causes your emotional dysregulation, and experiment with ways to alter your reactions to such triggers.  Note that these conditions are impermanent – they arise and that fall away.

4) Maintain a personal journal about regrettable emotional reactions and behaviors.  When things improve, also write about that in the journal.

5) In the vipassana tradition, work on recognizing (acute awareness) the initial arising of an emotional reactions in your body (sensations), and experiment with ways to alter or stop the parade of madness.

6) Use compassion to become aware of the other person’s increasing emotional suffering, and act accordingly to reduce it.

7) Use the proprioception of facial nerves to alter emotion in your brain by smiling at fear and anger in you.  If the fear is something serious, do what you need to protect yourself.

8) Practice interception skills by becoming more and more aware of sensations in your body that signal emotional reactivity and dysregulation. Take advantage of this early warning system to change your reaction to a more productive response.

9) When you fail to control emotional reactions, do your best to shorten the behavior and verbal activation period.  Apologize quickly and sincerely.

10) Understand the cognitive-behavioral model so you can use such information to improve the moment and your reaction.

11) Practice labelling your emotional content via thoughts, words and actions so you may be able to extend cognitive (pre-frontal) control over reactivity.

12) Increase your desire to be free from emotional suffering, which anger and other afflictive emotions simply increase.

13) Read about the Four Noble Truths, and practice daily meditation, yoga, or exercise to be in touch with your brain, mind, and body.

14) Do not willingly invite anger or emotional reactivity into your human space.  Find a more productive alternative to practice.

15) Do the 4-Ds: drink water, distract, do something different, and delay your response (thoughts, words, actions).

16) Investigate themes in your emotional reactivity.  Isolate the BIG ones, and get help to transform them and your reactions.

17) When experiencing afflictive emotional states, practice opposite action (DBT skill). Try your best to do something in the opposite direction.

18) When feeling emotionally hurt or angry, do your best to LET GO of your hurt ego and self-cherishing and apply a practice or skill immediately.

19) When feeling sorry for yourself or angry about something that is impermanent, practice gratitude review. Thinks of things you have gratitude about.  Really concentrate on them.

20) Follow the wise advice of Thich Nhat Hanh, Chogyam Trungpa, and Pema Chodron by holding your anger as if it was a newborn baby.  Since it is part of your experience, allow your mind to transform it into something that needs to be taken care of with loving kindness and unconditional love.  Know you are suffering!  Be kind to yourself and your emotional reaction.  Do not act on it.

21) Practice loving kindness meditation for yourself and others on a regular basis.

22) If you are very skilled, practice smiling at your fears and inhaling the pain and suffering from others as you exhale your own loving kindness to others.

For more information refer to The 14th Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso) and Ekman, P. (2008). Emotional Awareness: Overcoming the Obstacles to Psychological Balance and Compassion. New York: MacMillan Audio Books, CD 6.  See also Chodron, P. (2010). Smile at Fear: A Retreat with Pema Chodron. Boston: Shambhala Audio, CDs.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

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Filed Under: Breathing, Featured, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Training Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, EMOTIONAL BALANCE, EMOTIONAL REGULATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS TRAINING

September 7, 2014 By Admin

Choice-Making Skills

Using Meditation, Yoga and Breathing…

You can Anchor your Choice Making

A key outcome of serious practice is  that you now reduce auto-pilot reactivity to people, places, things, emotions, sensations, craving, and memories and at the same time notice your mind CAN BE in charge of your brain-body reactions.  Yes, regular daily mindfulness practice allows you more mind-power to make decisions on how to respond to unhelpful events in life.   You notice that you are less apt to react impulsively (with habits of anger, anxiety, depression, avoidance, aggression, self-medication, etc.) and more apt to respond thoughtfully, even compassionately.  To enhance these changes in HOW you live your life, how your mindful-mind helps you to respond constructively to challenges, I will suggest several regular practices below.mindfulhappiness_Choices-anthonyquintiliani

In 1995 T. K. V. Desikachar noted that having the capacity to intentionally direct one’s mind is a fundamentally important core mindfulness skill.  I have often reminded my own secular meditation students that “You are not your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, sensations, or memories.  You are beyond, more than, these random firings of brain cells.”  True, all these experiences may shape us in both positive and negative ways, and if unhelpful they may cause higher levels of stress, angst, and despair.  However, mind training via regular meditation or yoga practice allows your mind to slow the impulsive reactions and to THINK about (contemplate) what an appropriate response might be.  As you become more wise-mind skilled, your repeated and improved responses eventually compete with habitual impulsive reactions – thereby creating helpful brain plasticity for a calmer and happier life.  These changes take time to normalize in our mind and body.  It is very wise to use selective attention – paying more attention to neutral and positive/helpful experiences than to negative/unhelpful experiences.  Do not avoid corrective changes you may need to make, but do not focus attention on unhelpful events and realities.

Samatha-Meditation-Mindful-HappinessThe practice of Samatha or calm abiding meditation, in which your single pointed concentration is on more positive/helpful thoughts, emotions, and memories may be helpful here.  Likewise practicing various meditation and yoga breathing patterns will help calm your reactive body and center you mind’s attention.  Often an effective mantra can be helpful: when I notice the arising of unhelpful energy in my mind or body I often say to myself “be calm, be kind.”  What mantra self-talk might be helpful to you?  Sometimes bringing your focus of attention to your soft heart energy can help.  Many major spiritual traditions practice contemplating/imagining white or golden-white light coming from the heart area.  It may help to gently place both hands over your heart.  Try this, and allow the healing light to soothe you.  Other helpful practices that reduce your suffering and may increase your joy are: thinking radical acceptance regarding things you cannot change; finding more personal meaning in your life; being more self-compassionate; practicing slow, full-body body scans; doing spiritual rituals; and, resting in shavasana (lying resting pose) or yoga nidra may comfort you.

Try some of these practices. on a regular basis.  

See what improvements you notice.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

For more information refer to Nurries Stearns, M. and Nurries Stearns, R. (2013).  Yoga for Emotional Trauma: Meditations and Practices for Healing Pain and Suffering. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, pp. 170-191.  See also Miller, R. (2005). Yoga Nidra: A Meditative Practice for Deep relaxation and Healing. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.

 

Filed Under: Breathing, Featured, Meditation, MIndfulness, Practices, Training, Wise Mind, Yoga Tagged With: ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, BREATHING, CHOICE MAKING, ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER, MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, SAMANTHA, TRAINING, WISE MIND, YOGA

July 18, 2014 By Admin

Mindful Approaches for Enhanced Emotion Regulation

Practice Approaches to for Mindful and  Enhanced Emotion Regulation

Brought to us by way of  The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Mindful Approaches for Enhanced Emotion Regulation; here are some approaches to practice.

1)In some ways you could understand the progression from auto-pilot mind to greater stability and equanimity of mind by observing your own path in the sequence noted below. Your progress is 100% dependent upon the regularity and duration of your meditation practice, and your own preferences regarding which practices produce less resistance and more motivation in daily practice. Therefore, sitting or walking mediation, yoga, tai chi, and qi gong are all worthwhile practices in mind training.

Intention leads to:  taichi_MindfulHappiness_AnthonyQuintiliani

  • Practicing Attention on an object – breath,etc
  • Reorienting Attention Back to the Object as the Mind Moves Away Over and Over Again
  • (Dogen’s comments – this itself is realization
  • Eventually Settling Down so You Can Better Focus YOUR Attention
  • Concentration Skills Improve as You Do/Become Daily Regular Practice
  • Eventually Single-Pointed Concentration Develops
  • Now Mindfulness Comes Out of Your Regular Practice
  • Mindfulness Practice Improves Your Awareness – First in Practice, Then in Daily Life
  • Dramatically Improved Awareness is Now Your Norm in Both Formal Practice and Informal Practice
  • You Have Arrived at the First Building Blocks of Practice, perhaps of Enlightenment

2) Some formats for practice attention:
• Counting breaths on the exhalation up to ten – start over if necessaryMindfulHappiness_AnthonyQuintiliani
• Imagine images of the numbers as you count them 1 to 10
• When you count be sure to continue the internal speech all the way to the end of the exhalation – prevents other thoughts from distracting your attention
• With or without counting (whichever works best for you), focus your attention as your breath passes in/out of the nostrils
• Then move your attention to your chest as it moves with the breath
• Then move your attention to the lower abdomen as it moves with the breath
• Simply be with the sensation of the moving breath
• Select one location and practice with that for a while

Each step above adds aspects of the attentional training to your practice.

3) Once you have discovered which approach works best for YOU, practice that one method for a few weeks. You may also experiment with other practices/skills as you move through the skills training process.

Stone zen path
4) As you continue your practice, be gentle but sure to extend the time duration – AND be sure to do some practice every day. no self-criticism!!

 

 

 

 

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

 

Filed Under: Activities, Breathing, Featured, Meditation, MIndfulness, Practices, Training Tagged With: BREATHING, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, ENHANCED EMOTION REGULATION, MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICES, THE ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER

July 2, 2014 By Admin

Breathing Meditation Practices

From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation, Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

– Five Breathing and Meditation Practices –

Attention and concentration on the breath are common practices to attune meditation capacity. We use the breath as an object of attention in our mind training.   The better your quality of attention and concentration, the better your meditation flow.  In an earlier post, I provided instructions on using breath as an object of attention in pacifying the mind.
Today I will provide brief practice instructions for four other breath meditations.  These brief instructions are meant only as introductory formats.

Mindful-Happiness_Breath-Meditation-Practices-BurlingtonVermontCaution: Although it is rare, some people may become anxious when trying to do breath practices.  The anxiety may have many sources: vagus nerve issues, inattention due to digital addictions, a serious anxiety disorder, unresolved traumatic experience involving breaths of submission (in limbic hippocampus memory), etc.  If at any time in practicing these breathing techniques you experience strong discomfort, please STOP the practice.  Be aware that even though breath re-training can be highly effective in calming a dysregulated nervous system, it is not a substitute for prescribed medical or psychological treatment you may be receiving.  However, breath training may be highly compatible with such treatment.  Collaborate with your healthcare provider for advice here.

1) Mindful Awareness of Your Breath As It Is

Sit in a comfortable position, either lotus style or in a straight back chair, or use a stool to sit on with your knees on a meditation mat.  Keep your back and head straight, ears level with shoulders, eyes Mindful-Happiness_Breath-Meditation-Practices-JustBreatheslightly open and downward in direction, and the tip of the nose lined up with your navel (Dogen’s way).  Just allow your awareness to be set on the in and out movement of your breath.  Do not in any way control how your are breathing.  Simply allow your breath to breathe you – paying mindful attention to its flow.   When your attention moves off the breath, gently return your attention back to your breath.  If possible continue for at least 10-20 minutes.  If your attention moves off the breath, use self-compassion to carry it back the breath.  Be kind.

2) Counting the Breaths

Since mental activity (thoughts in the past or future – or even in the present) is often a common distraction in meditation practice, it may be helpful to count to ten for ten breaths.  Sit comfortably in a meditative posture. On the first breath say “one” to yourself on the exhalation; this is subvocal self-talk.  Make the sound of “one” in your mind last all the way to the end of the out-breath.  Then begin with the next breath – saying “two” on the exhalation and holding the thought all the way to the end of the out-Mindful-Happiness_Breath-Meditation-Practices-BreathingPaintingbreath.  Do this all the way up to ten for ten breaths.  When you reach “ten” simply begin again with “one.”  If your mind wonders off the breath before you reach ten, or you catch yourself beyond the count of ten, begin again with “one.”  You may want to make an mage of the number you are saying to yourself.  In this way both cognitive/verbal and visual parts of the brain are active – helping you to meditate.  If your mind continues to wonder off, say the number, make an image of the number, and FEEL the flow of the breath on exhalation.  If possible continue for at least 10-20 minutes.  If you have difficulty, be kind and considerate to yourself – and continue!

3) Variation on Square Breathing

Sit comfortably in a good meditation posture.  Begin with a couple full, deep, cleansing breaths. Then bring full concentration to how your heart and belly feel when you breath slowly and deeply.  On the first full in-breath pay attention to the right side (downward) of your torso from just below the heart area down to the hara (deep belly about 2 inches below the navel and about 2 inches in).  On the first out-breath pay close attention to how it feels when your attention moves (left) across the hare.  On the mindful-happiness-SquareBreathingnext in-breath notice how it feels when you pay attention to it moving (upward) from the hare and up the left side of the torso to the heart area, and on the next out-breaths simply pay attention to the moving breath as you pay attention to it moving right just below the heart area.  A square has been made. If possible practice for at least 10-20 minutes.

4) Gap Breathing Practice

Sit in meditative posture and take a couple full, deep, slow breaths.  Now pay complete attention to the noticed GAP between the in and out breath, and between the out and in breath.  Yes, there is a slight gap in time when you are not breathing.  Do not worry, this gap is natural. It is simply part of our slower, deeper breathing process.  Pay attention ONLY to the gap between the in/out and out/in breaths.  If you can do this, go psychologically deeper into the gap.  It may be bottomless!  If you have problems with mindful-Happiness-Breathing-AnthonyQuintilianiattention here, make an image on a gigantic, beautiful, far-away valley and pretend that your gap is in that deep, distant valley.  Continue to pay full attention only to the gap between your breaths.  If you have difficult, gently and self-compassionately bring your attention back to the gap and nothing else.  If possible practice for at least 10-2- minutes.

Practice these four breathing meditation, and if you like one best – do that one for the fifth.  Good luck on your journey.

 Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE to Order!

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Filed Under: Activities, Breathing, Featured, Meditation, MIndfulness Tagged With: BREATHING, BREATHING MEDITATION PRACTICES, BURLINGTON, ELEANOR R LIEBMAN CENTER, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MONKTON, VT, WIND RIDGE PUBLISHING

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