December 20, 2017 By Admin

Happiness #3 – More Characteristics

Here I will continue the discussion on common characteristics of personal happiness. As you read these posts, please do your best to experiment with these characteristics. See if you can experience more happiness without a frantic search for it. Ultimately it is about a special form of human love. Here is the list.

Friendship – True friendship is about mutual caring, reciprocal helping, and lots and lots of sharing. True friends may become “family” and sometimes are more dependable. Seneca reminded us that true friends allow you to bury your most secret stories inside their hearts. Epicurus noted friendship as the greatest possession. Ralph Waldo Emerson said friendship was a masterpiece of nature. Aristotle pursued this further by noting that true friendship is like one soul belonging to two people. Develop and cherish a few very good friends!
Gratitude – Gratitude combines deep appreciation and a special type of grace. Ralph Waldo Emerson advised us to do our best to find a few things to have gratitude for every single day. Gratitude is viewed as a major mind-body-soul strength. Hold deep gratitude for the few people who help you rekindle your inner light (Albert Schweitzer). John F. Kennedy said we need to thank people who help improve our lives. Marcus Tullius Cicero noted that gratitude is the most important virtue in life. Tecumseh advisedus to give thanks every single morning at first awakening. The Buddha and Friederich Schiller noted that happiness happens in gratitude – when we deal with what we cannot change. Abraham Lincoln noted that we should not worry, but we should pursue simple healthy living.
Inspiration is Very Important – John F. Kennedy suggested that we are inspired most when we contribute to the better good. Find inspiration in love, divinity, prayer, meditation, and when your soft heart has been touched. Jane Goodall said we need to make positive differences in the lives of others. Mahatma Gandhi noted that a single kind act may be more powerful than many people bowing in prayer. Marcus Aurelius implied that we have power only over our mind but not external situations; it all depends on how we react to what life brings.
Joyous Experiences – Pablo Picasso said good art can wash away painful dust on the soul. George Santayana noted that we are born and we will all die, so do your best to enjoy what lies between. Dr. Seuss reminded us to smile, even in suffering. Rumi told us to always act from our soul. The great meditation teacher Thich Nhat Hanh noted that joy and a smile go together, but it is unclear which causes what to occur. Marianne Williamson tells us to recognize how good things are and joy will follow.
Kindness is it! – Booker T. Washington noted be kind to others and you will be happier. Do random acts of kindness as your norm. Xenophon told us to praise others, often. Richard Carlson advised us to let others know what you appreciate about them. Samual Taylor Coleridge emphasized that kindness can
Mother Teresa suggested that a kind
come in very small doses: a smile, a kind face, a simple compliment. smile is an act of love. The Dalai Lama XIV said that his religion is kindness! Ralph Waldo Emerson advised us to be kind to others before it is too late to do so. Kahlil Gibran referred to kindness a strong manifestation of caring.

For more information refer to Baxter Harmon, L. (2015). Happiness a-z: The Gleeful Guide to Finding and Following Your Bliss. New York: MJF Books, pp. 39-93.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

I Have Questions Our spiritual traditions have many sources of powerful spiritual origination: Shiva, Buddha, Jesus, Saint Francis to note just a few. The Roman thinker Seneca noted that our most feared day is our last on earth, but this is also the beginning of our eternity. As a practicing Buddhist, a secular meditation teacher, […]

Money and Electronic “Friends” Are They Real ? The Sutta Nipata (4.15, Translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu) noted “Seeing people floundering like fish in small puddles, competing with one another…fear came into me. The world was entirely without substance….Wanting a haven for myself, I saw nothing that wasn’t laid claim to. Seeing nothing in the end but […]

Cognitive Defusion in Mindfulness Psychotherapy A well-meaning therapist might ask: What is cognitive defusion. Well this practice, as used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is beyond cognitive restructuring of cognitive distortions and automatic negative thoughts ( I call “Red Ants”). The practice concretely de-literalizes the personal truth and meaning of unhelpful, repetitive thoughts and words. […]

Mindfulness Expands the Art of Journal Writing T. Merton, J. Kerouc, I. Progoff, J. Upton, and others have helped to expand the art or journal writing practice. This type of practice can become your mindfulness practice. You will need to write on a daily basis (even if briefly), and you will need to be highly […]

Plasticity – The Amazing Human Brain We humans are very fortunate in that our brain is one of the most complex entities in our known universe. Natural selection, genetic modifications, and use-related neuroplasticity have blessed us with a brain quite capable of some of the most complicated tasks imaginable. Some of these tasks (medical miracles, […]

Self-Care as Ritual Self-care for Americans is often considered a luxury. Due to our technological demands and addictions (Demons as they are), and the slow slipping of our economic structures, we are often at the mercy of the bottom line at work. Over-paid CEOs and CFOs and their many assistants eat up so, so much […]

Amitabha Buddha – Pure Land Meditation The following meditation had been modified by me to make it a more specific self-healing meditation and to better fit the time we now live in. Sit quietly and complete 3-4 deep, calming breaths. Pay attention to the quality and density of the light you see outside of your […]

The Reality of Experience What is deep mindfulness? Deep mindfulness is the concentrated awareness of all experiences, preferably without evaluating as pleasant or unpleasant. Deep mindfulness is pure awareness as it becomes part of personal consciousness. We humans, however, are always evaluating our experiences and phenomena as pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant – often getting hooked […]

Mind Training Over Our Impulses Mindful awareness of our impulses is a very important pathway to improved emotion regulation and, perhaps, more happiness in life. It can be unusually helpful to people suffering from anxiety, depression, and substance misuse. Vedana refers to the feeling tone in our body. It is one of the foundations of mindfulness […]

More on Self-Compassion Practices Suffering and happiness represent opposites in human emotional experience. In our culture we often equate happiness with what we HAVE and suffering with the GAP between what we have versus what we want. Material possessions tend not to lead to intrinsic happiness; joy based on materials gains is often short-lived – […]

Mindful Equanimity and Homeostasis Neuroscientist Antonio Demasio’s new book The Strange Order of Things: Life, Feeling, and the Making of Culture. (2018) New York: Pantheon Books notes the very important role homeostasis plays in human life and well being. In some ways homeostasis is about the arising, falling, and balancing out of all things important to human […]

Mindfulness-Based Emotion Regulation The following emotional regulation practices (also called emotional balance skills) have been supported by over 2500 years of mindfulness training and current psychological research on human emotions. These practices/skills are to be practiced before they are needed, and directly applied when they are needed. Here is the list. 1) Practice noticing and […]

Meditation at the Deepest Levels In 2007 M. A. Singer’s The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, opened up a whole new, deeper perspective on why consciousness or pure awareness is the root of self. Even in a Buddhist “no-self” view, Singer’s inquiries leave us with a great deal to unravel. Here are some reasons why […]

Pathways for Coping with Loss and Grief Jeanne Cacciatore, a Zen priest and bereavement specialist, offer sound advice on the process of loss and grieving. In her book, Bearing the Unbearable: Love and the Heart Breaking Path of Grief (2016), she presents the process as a series of contractions and expansions; contractions are the inward path of […]

Basic Self-Compassion Process Practice: To practice self-compassion as needed, follow these specific self-compassion steps. Sensitize your mindfulness skills to become aware of your immediate experience of suffering. Hold a strong intention to respond with self-kindness. Use self-talk to be kind to yourself. Begin by softening your body. Relax your muscles, tendons, joints. Hold a natural […]

Practicing Interoceptive Meditations Anthony R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC The mindfulness-based process and intervention of interoception (also called neuroception) has slowly moved from meditation practice into clinical practice, now being part of the recommended MBSR, ACT, and more current CBT-based therapies. The three brief meditations below are presented to expand the use of interoceptive processes in […]

Preverbal Trauma – Therapy Problems A. R. Quintiliani, Ph.D., LADC Preverbal trauma (hereafter PVT) is one of the most pervasively troubling human conditions. PVT occurs when a preverbal child is exposed to parental, caretaker, or other forms of abuse. This abuse may be sexual, physical, or emotional. This form of abuse is so destructive because […]

Gurdjieff’s The Fourth Way Meditations: A way of Being and Knowing Although Gurdjieff developed a whole way of being and knowing, including attentional practices, dance/body movements, group processes, and meditations here I will focus only on some of the suggested meditations. In particular, I include the meditations noted by his primary student (J. DeSalzmann, 2011). […]

A Primary Source of Unhappiness Self-medication to reduce or avoid pain and suffering is a major unhelpful habit in the United States. It is a desperate human effort to reduce pain and suffering in physical and psychological experiences. Therefore, we humans may be hard-wired for it. When we suffer and do not utilize effective wise […]

Healing Meditations for Destructive Emotions Based on the mountain of research supporting the use of regular meditation practices and yoga, it is safe to say that Buddhism and its practices have merged with modern scientific investigation. From the early days of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (the MBSR of Jon Kabat-Zinn) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (the DBT […]