December 20, 2017 By Admin

Happiness #3 – More Characteristics

Here I will continue the discussion on common characteristics of personal happiness. As you read these posts, please do your best to experiment with these characteristics. See if you can experience more happiness without a frantic search for it. Ultimately it is about a special form of human love. Here is the list.

Friendship – True friendship is about mutual caring, reciprocal helping, and lots and lots of sharing. True friends may become “family” and sometimes are more dependable. Seneca reminded us that true friends allow you to bury your most secret stories inside their hearts. Epicurus noted friendship as the greatest possession. Ralph Waldo Emerson said friendship was a masterpiece of nature. Aristotle pursued this further by noting that true friendship is like one soul belonging to two people. Develop and cherish a few very good friends!
Gratitude – Gratitude combines deep appreciation and a special type of grace. Ralph Waldo Emerson advised us to do our best to find a few things to have gratitude for every single day. Gratitude is viewed as a major mind-body-soul strength. Hold deep gratitude for the few people who help you rekindle your inner light (Albert Schweitzer). John F. Kennedy said we need to thank people who help improve our lives. Marcus Tullius Cicero noted that gratitude is the most important virtue in life. Tecumseh advisedus to give thanks every single morning at first awakening. The Buddha and Friederich Schiller noted that happiness happens in gratitude – when we deal with what we cannot change. Abraham Lincoln noted that we should not worry, but we should pursue simple healthy living.
Inspiration is Very Important – John F. Kennedy suggested that we are inspired most when we contribute to the better good. Find inspiration in love, divinity, prayer, meditation, and when your soft heart has been touched. Jane Goodall said we need to make positive differences in the lives of others. Mahatma Gandhi noted that a single kind act may be more powerful than many people bowing in prayer. Marcus Aurelius implied that we have power only over our mind but not external situations; it all depends on how we react to what life brings.
Joyous Experiences – Pablo Picasso said good art can wash away painful dust on the soul. George Santayana noted that we are born and we will all die, so do your best to enjoy what lies between. Dr. Seuss reminded us to smile, even in suffering. Rumi told us to always act from our soul. The great meditation teacher Thich Nhat Hanh noted that joy and a smile go together, but it is unclear which causes what to occur. Marianne Williamson tells us to recognize how good things are and joy will follow.
Kindness is it! – Booker T. Washington noted be kind to others and you will be happier. Do random acts of kindness as your norm. Xenophon told us to praise others, often. Richard Carlson advised us to let others know what you appreciate about them. Samual Taylor Coleridge emphasized that kindness can
Mother Teresa suggested that a kind
come in very small doses: a smile, a kind face, a simple compliment. smile is an act of love. The Dalai Lama XIV said that his religion is kindness! Ralph Waldo Emerson advised us to be kind to others before it is too late to do so. Kahlil Gibran referred to kindness a strong manifestation of caring.

For more information refer to Baxter Harmon, L. (2015). Happiness a-z: The Gleeful Guide to Finding and Following Your Bliss. New York: MJF Books, pp. 39-93.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton Sangha

Author of Mindful Happiness

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Zen Buddhist Practices – Egolessness In our practice we often inquire, and sometimes experience, the no-self and/or egolessness. What is egolessness? Who and what do we think we are? Some say that when we die the essence but not the ego lives on into new experiences. Karma and re-birth are givens in this spiritual view. […]

Using Meditation, Yoga and Breathing… You can Anchor your Choice Making A key outcome of serious practice is that you now reduce auto-pilot reactivity to people, places, things, emotions, sensations, craving, and memories and at the same time notice your mind CAN BE in charge of your brain-body reactions. Yes, regular daily mindfulness practice allows […]

Emptiness – Meditation Practice The Brahma-Viharas (higher abodes) include four powerful meditation practices ( Loving Kindness/Maitri or Metta; Compassion/Karuna; Sympathetic Joy/Mudita; and, Equanimity/Upekkha) that involve boundless radiation outwardly all the way into the infinite universe. These boundless or infinite space meditations, working with deep absorption and projecting kindness outwardly, may lead to positive changes. Experienced […]

Benefits of Solitude in Contemplation are Many Socrates noted that our primary mission in life is to understand the complex relationship between self and soul. The Transcendentalist, R. W. Emerson, noted that a primary function of education is to draw out our soul. Zen teacher, J. Tarrant hinted that the soul is the energetic connection […]

Trauma Informed Care – The Absolute Basics This post aims at providing a very basic introduction to Trauma Informed Care. Advanced versions of this information are available from the author. So what is Trauma Informed Care (hereafter TIC)? Below I have listed rationales of need and core characteristics of TIC in organizations. Why We Need […]

The Lotus Sutra and Meditatin Practice The Lotus Sutra is one of the most important and sacred of Buddhist sutras. It is often considered a summary of The Buddha’s teaching, presented many years after he began to teach and share his experiences. The version considered here is the Kumarajiva translation, as translated by B. Watson; it […]

Supervision and Self-Care in Trauma Therapy Today there is an ever-increasing demand for effective trauma therapy. Our American clinical history on this matter leaves much to be desired. John N. Briere and Cheryl B. Lanktree offer important suggestions on how to use clinical supervision and self-care in your clinical work with clients suffering from serious […]

Winnicott’s Ideas – Best Possible Clinical Alliance To develop and maintain a strong clinical alliance it is best to follow some of the well-known clinical advice on this topic. Rogers, Kohut, Winnicott and many others have suggested just how to do so. Here are some general clinical recommendations for enhancing the clinical alliance. Develop authentic […]

Happiness Characteristics – Post #2 Below I will note a few key characteristics of experiences and attitudes associated with happiness. Do your best to experience some of these each day – as much as is possible. Here is the first list. Being Fully Alive to Experiences – Do your best to be fully involved in […]

Contemplative Practices – Affirmative Self-Inquiry Contemplation and affirmative self-inquiry may be helpful in improving your awareness of your better parts of self – your positive strengths and traits. Our self-critical mind often causes us to spend far too much time on critical, negative thinking about ourselves and about others. The practice below may be helpful […]

Self-Care as Ritual Self-care for Americans is often considered a luxury. Due to our technological demands and addictions (Demons as they are), and the slow slipping of our economic structures, we are often at the mercy of the bottom line at work. Over-paid CEOs and CFOs and their many assistants eat up so, so much […]

Breath as the Object of Meditation A Deeper Understanding In the Satipatthana Sutra the Buddha noted that meditation practice was necessary for success on the path to liberation and enlightenment. He noted that it could take many, many years of practice to achieve this experiential goal. The good news is that Buddha also noted it could take […]

Intervention Skills to Calm Your Anxiety It is estimated that approximately 40,000,000 American suffer from an anxiety disorders, especially generalize anxiety and panic disorder. Sometimes general “talk therapy” fails to help improve your condition; you may need cognitive-behavioral therapy with research-based mindfulness skills or dialectical behavior therapy. CBT, MBSR, ACT and DBT are the evidence-based, […]

Gratitude Practices to Improve your Emotional Mood The following fourteen suggestions may improve your emotional mood. One reward from practicing gratitude is that we tend to feel a little better no matter what our causes and conditions are at the time. Here is the list. Make a habit of thanking people. “Thank you.” Appreciate […]

Honoring First Nation – Native American Spirited-Wisdom American First Nation or Native American People (according to how they wish to be named) have a strong spiritual traditions honoring life, the earth and the heavens. Naming these wise peoples is a problem; out of respect one would call them First Nations, Native American, or a specific […]

Using Your Compassionate Mind in Psychotherapy For you to become a more compassionate therapist, follow the details noted below. These preconditions, skills, and practices are required as a baseline for compassionate practice. You need the ability to access calmness in an environment of emotional suffering, chaos, or conflict. Most people do this by breathing in […]

Using Mindfulness and Contemplation in Education and Therapy During the past few months I have been engaged with four small groups regarding how to use mindfulness and contemplation in education and/or therapy. The groups have variations: two groups are university faculty members meeting to discuss specific books related to these topics; one group is in […]

Relational Suffering and Buddhist Practice Recently I experienced a deep, sudden, afflictive emotional experience. This sudden and profound sense of loss was due to temporary heartbreak; the temporary heartbreak dealt with rejection from a younger woman I found to be interesting and attractive (inside and outside). My “lost” person seemed to possess all the attachment […]

Poem on the Wind I am quite pleased with my experience on BEING in the wind today. This poem will suggest that you allow the wind to be a metaphor – even a fantasy – that allows your pain and suffering to be swept away by the endless, gentle, blowing wind of nature. We […]

Making the Best of the Holidays Thanks to Sounds True, we have many good suggestions for making the most of the holidays. It is a norm for the holidays to be happy and joyous, and it is a norm for many people for the holidays to be filled with emotional and behavioral challenges. To reduce […]