June 18, 2016 By Admin

Self-Kindness – Something to Practice!

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice

Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do. It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current rampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: pathological narcissism or self-disdain. We are lacking an intelligent “middle way.” A recent issue of Shambhala Sun presented several approaches to improve self-compassion and self-kindness without greed or narcissism. You may wish to visit these sites.Self-Compassion, and Center for Mindful Compassion.

Now let’s begin with a brief meditation on this important topic.

Sit in a comfortable meditative posture.
Begin with a few deep, slow cleansing breaths.
Work at being open-minded, fearless, and present.
Turn the light of the world inward to your heart area. Watch your joyful self as well as your suffering self – BUT do not get caught in the suffering past or the fearful future. Stay present here now.
As you breathe and practice this, note the sensations and emotions arising in this moment.
Notice if any of your negative energies arise: negative, critical thoughts; unhappy mind; projected criticism of others, etc. Just let it be if present. Them use impermanence and try to let it go with you mind and body. Just do your best here.
Practice kindness for yourself as you would for your significant other or a best friend.
Be in your feelings well beyond the fearful amygdala, less-than self, and false-self greatness. Let go!
Be aware of the sources of joy and self-fulfillment all around you in this world. You need to notice them to use these resources. Make images of some right now.
Place your hands over your heart and allow in self-compassion. Allow in self-kindness. Allow in self-liking. Be personal on what these “allowings” mean to you and how you are experiencing them now.
Follow Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s advice: Trust in yourself; be kind and generous to self and others; use self-compassion always! Now just practice a little longer.

For more details refer to Shambhala Sun (November, 2015), pp. 52-63.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness

CLICK HERE or any image below to Order

Interpersonal Mindfulness Various forms of mindfulness-based compassion training help us to care more about the needs, happiness, and health of other people. However, direct applications of interpersonal mindfulness activates these influences into direct action on behalf of others. Thus, if lucky, we learn to care more about others and less about ourselves. The self-centered ego […]

Drink a Cup of Tea with Thich Nhat Hanh According to the article “A Perfect Cup of Tea” by Noa Jones, The Great Meditation Master offers this sage advice about the best way to enjoy a great cup of tea. I suppose if you would rather drink coffee, the same suggestions may apply. Recognize that […]

Spirit Wars and “Spiritual Warfare” This post will discuss the topic and personal strategies. Most content will relate to both physical realities and metaphorical meanings and categories. Since a person viewing their self as fighting a spiritual war most likely holds onto certain parts of self in this endeavor, it is highly unlikely that the […]

Safety: Mindful Candle Gazing Meditation Practices Candle light and candle gazing are common in many spiritual and religious practices. After many fire-related losses, religious organizations have found ways to maintain the practice and reduce liability related to accidental fires. The National Candle Association is also quite aware that their products include some risk. Therefore, the […]

Stress in America – On the Rise – The American Psychological Association recently completed its national survey on stress in America. Stress in America for adults is on the rise! I will review below a selection of reported percentages from the 2015 survey (published in 2016). 1) Younger people are more stressed; Xers and Millennials […]

Self-Care to Reduce Compassion Fatigue First let’s begin with what some people do to counteract the stressors of living in a hurried,“over-technologized” world. Technically, “technologize” is not a popularly accepted word, but it is a sad reality. We live in a time when texting while driving may become the new addiction-based cause for many, many […]

Vipassana Meditation -No-Self Journey 3 In this third vipassana meditation I will guide you on a meditation dealing with the experience of no-self. No-self is a highly advanced experience in Buddhist meditation and wisdom practices, and it is, perhaps, one of the most misunderstood concept and experience. Along with impermanence, dependent origination, typical reality […]

Amitabha Buddha – Pure Land Meditation The following meditation had been modified by me to make it a more specific self-healing meditation and to better fit the time we now live in. Sit quietly and complete 3-4 deep, calming breaths. Pay attention to the quality and density of the light you see outside of your […]

More on Self-Compassion Practices Suffering and happiness represent opposites in human emotional experience. In our culture we often equate happiness with what we HAVE and suffering with the GAP between what we have versus what we want. Material possessions tend not to lead to intrinsic happiness; joy based on materials gains is often short-lived – […]

Emptiness – Meditation Practice The Brahma-Viharas (higher abodes) include four powerful meditation practices ( Loving Kindness/Maitri or Metta; Compassion/Karuna; Sympathetic Joy/Mudita; and, Equanimity/Upekkha) that involve boundless radiation outwardly all the way into the infinite universe. These boundless or infinite space meditations, working with deep absorption and projecting kindness outwardly, may lead to positive changes. Experienced […]

A major part of suffering comes with the inability to shift unhelpful, negative focus on troubling thoughts and feelings. This cognitive reality is common in all the major mental health problems people suffer from: anxiety, depression, trauma, substance abuse, and eating disorders. Due to the lack of “wise-mind” skills most people suffering from these […]

Mindfulness Training From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton,Vermont The Problem: Many people become stuck in the suffering of their past, and they continue to re-experience an event in the futile hope to better understand it, or to find an escape from it. Many of the same people become fixated fearfully […]

Enhancing Hope in Psychotherapy The enhancement of personal hope is a key part of successful psychotherapy practice. Some view this requirement as a foundational aspect of the therapeutic alliance; others do not hold the same view. In the case of serious co-occurring disorders, especially trauma and substance misuse, initiating, developing, and sustaining a hopeful future-view […]

Grief, Mourning, and Traditional Chinese Medicine Based on the Buddhist reality of impermanence – we all will someday die; it is also quite true that we all will suffer from loss, grief, and mourning when others we care about die. The typical stages in this process are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. There are […]

Mindfulness Practices to help Reduce Your Worry & Suffering My last post dealt with various mindfulness-based practices and skills that may help to reduce created suffering due to excessive worrying. I will add a few more practices in this post. First, let us go back to Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, and his Meditations. In Book 2, page 14 […]

Building Healthy Intimate Relationships: Intimate relationships are often the source of many years of happiness and satisfaction, and sometimes the cause of great pain and suffering. It depends! I will list various realities of initiating and maintaining a positive intimate relationship. After reading these, ask yourself: Where is my relationship? If you are unhappy, do […]

A Primary Source of Unhappiness Self-medication to reduce or avoid pain and suffering is a major unhelpful habit in the United States. It is a desperate human effort to reduce pain and suffering in physical and psychological experiences. Therefore, we humans may be hard-wired for it. When we suffer and do not utilize effective wise […]

Making the Best of the Holidays Thanks to Sounds True, we have many good suggestions for making the most of the holidays. It is a norm for the holidays to be happy and joyous, and it is a norm for many people for the holidays to be filled with emotional and behavioral challenges. To reduce […]

The True Nature of Phenomena Here I will present common steps in the process of vipassana meditation. My presentation will end with a brief discussion of nirvana (enlightenment). 1) It will be helpful not to have strong conceptual intention about your goal of attaining insight. You will know when you have entered it via your […]

Mindful Happiness – Brain on Meditation Reports from various MRI and self-report measure studies support the proposition that your brain changes (neuronal plasticity) when you practice meditation on a regular (daily) basis. The same is likely true when you practice yoga on a regular basis. Here are some noted changes in brain functioning that […]