Mindful Happiness

Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

  • Home
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
    • About
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Contact

June 18, 2016 By Admin

Self-Kindness – Something to Practice!

 

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice

Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do.  It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current MINDFUL HAPPINESSrampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: pathological narcissism or self-disdain. We are lacking an intelligent “middle way.” A recent issue of Shambhala Sun  presented several approaches to improve self-compassion and self-kindness without greed or narcissism.  You may wish to visit these sites.Self-Compassion, and Center for Mindful Compassion.

Now let’s begin with a brief meditation on this important topic.

  1. Sit in a comfortable meditative posture.
  2. Begin with a few deep, slow cleansing breaths.
  3. Work at being open-minded, fearless, and present.
  4. Turn the light of the world inward to your heart area. Watch your joyful self as well as your suffering self – BUT do not get caught in the suffering past or the fearful future.  Stay present here now.
  5. As you breathe and practice this, note the sensations and emotions arising in this moment.
  6. Notice if any of your negative energies arise: negative, critical thoughts; unhappy mind; projected criticism of others, etc.  Just let it be if present. Them use impermanence and try to let it go with you mind and body.  Just do your best here.
  7. Practice kindness for yourself as you would for your significant other or a best friend.
  8.  Be in your feelings well beyond the fearful amygdala, less-than self, and false-self greatness. Let go!
  9. Be aware of the sources of joy and self-fulfillment all around you in this world. You need to notice them to use these resources.  Make images of some right now.
  10. Place your hands over your heart and allow in self-compassion.  Allow in self-kindness. Allow in self-liking.  Be personal on what these “allowings” mean to you and how you are experiencing them now.
  11. Follow Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s advice: Trust in yourself; be kind and generous to self and others; use self-compassion always!  Now just practice a little longer.

For more details refer to Shambhala Sun (November, 2015), pp. 52-63.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order 

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

MindfulHappiness_Amazon           mindful-happiness_barnes_and_noble

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Benefits of Meditation, Benefits of Mindfulness, Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Self -Kindness Tagged With: ACTIVITIES, DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, EXERCISES, MEDITATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFUL TRAINING, SELF-KINDNESS

Twitter

Mindful Happiness -Currently in Production

Mindful Happiness Posts

Honoring First Nation – Native American Spirited-Wisdom American First Nation or Native American People (according to how they wish to be named) have  a strong spiritual traditions honoring life, the earth and the heavens.  Naming these wise peoples is a problem; out of respect one would call them First Nations, Native American, or a specific […]

Very “SAD” Facts about the Addictions Field A recent issue of the Addictions Professional presented very disturbing news about how clinicians in the field are doing.  NOT WELL! Addictions clinicians treat people with addictions but mainly people with co-occurring disorders – addictions with trauma, depression, anxiety and/or eating disorders.  Often there is also a co-occurring medical […]

Winnicott’s Ideas – Best Possible Clinical Alliance To develop and maintain a strong clinical alliance it is best to follow some of the well-known clinical advice on this topic.  Rogers, Kohut, Winnicott and many others have suggested just how to do so.  Here are some general clinical recommendations for enhancing the clinical alliance. Develop authentic […]

More Psychoanalytic Gems – In an earlier post, I noted a list of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Gems, including a later post on D.W. Winnicott’s approaches to building a therapeutic alliance.  My general aversion to this form of therapy has more to do with its slowness and high costs than to its effectiveness. It is effective!  However, […]

Are You Happier Yet? Use Practical Mindfulness Skills   Two recent books offer sound advice about YOU becoming a happier person. L. Cypers Kamen (2017) Are You Happy Yet: Eight Keys to Unlocking a Joyful Life. New York: MFJ Books and D. Altman (2016) Cleansing Emotional Clutter… New York: MFJ Books offer practical ways to improve your personal level of happiness. […]

Meditations and Mantra: Try Them Out in Your Practice There are many forms of meditation.  In most cases, the common meditation forms fall into one of two categories: Mindfulness and Insight.  There are also demanding concentration meditations, chakra meditations, and mantra meditations. Here we’ll deal only with the two forms noted above and the use […]

Reminders for Your Psychological and Physical Health If you desire to be more compassionate with others and with yourself, remember the following. Be certain to ACT on the following. 1) Life is complete only with joy/happiness, neutral experiences, and suffering/pain.  These are the realities of human existence. These are the conditions of human life. Make […]

Chronic Pain and Doing Body Scanning Although doing body scans cannot fully relieve your pain, it may help you manage it better. If your pain is serious and chronic you need to work with a qualified pain management professional, who will use both psychological and medical interventions. Note that a recent issue of Consumer Reports reviewed […]

From The Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation, Monkton, Vermont – Five Breathing and Meditation Practices – Attention and concentration on the breath are common practices to attune meditation capacity. We use the breath as an object of attention in our mind training.   The better your quality of attention and concentration, the better […]

Advanced Meditation Practices on Perception As the Sutra story goes, the Buddha instructed Ananda to visit the ailing venerable Girimananda, who was very, very ill.  In an effort to help the ailing man, the Buddha told Ananda to guide him in the Ten Meditation on Perceptions (on sensory input and the objects of mind). According […]

An Advanced View on Meditations on Emptiness An earlier post on the Dalai Lama’s book, Meditations on the Nature of Mind, ended with suggested meditations (my own personal contemplation’s) about emptiness.  I will first review those contemplations.  Contemplate deeply on what emptiness means personally to you.  Contemplate about a time when you received a glimpse of personal emptiness. […]

A Radical Feminist in her Time Over 800 years ago Hildegard of Bingen presented radical viewpoints on women-power and male-dominance in the Christian Church, stone/gem healing, meditation, insight and intellect, the web of life or planetary oneness, being in nature, environmentalism, and personal stories of suffering, etc.  Despite her outspoken manner and her popularity among […]

Mindful Happiness – Happiness – Guided Imagery of Your Life This experience will include guided imagery and multi-sensory memory of happy experiences in your life.  At time, shadow experience may pop up, in which a happy memory has an unhappy component.  Your mindful concentration will be needed to remain on track with only the happy […]

Mindful Equanimity and Homeostasis Neuroscientist Antonio Demasio’s new book  The Strange Order of Things: Life, Feeling, and the Making of Culture. (2018) New York: Pantheon Books notes the very important role homeostasis plays in human life and well being. In some ways homeostasis is about the arising, falling, and balancing out of all things important to human […]

 Poem on Nature    – Haiku-Like As I sat peacefully by the westward window of my sunroom at my retreat center, I noticed!  I noticed the restless, natural movement of a tormented sky trying to calm itself.   Here is my poem. “The Sky, the Lake and the Mountains” Sitting at our home, alone – […]

A major part of suffering comes with the inability to shift unhelpful, negative focus on troubling thoughts and feelings.   This cognitive reality is common in all the major mental health problems people suffer from: anxiety, depression, trauma, substance abuse, and eating disorders. Due to the lack of “wise-mind” skills most people suffering from these […]

Spiritual Mantras from Buddhism Spiritual Mantras:  Mantra practice is certainly not informal Buddhism, nor is it a way to apply practical mindfulness skills to life.  The path of mantra practice is much deeper than the psychological applications for good health. Mantra practice is a highly important part of formal Buddhist practice, especially on the spiritual […]

Happiness #5 – Last Post on Characteristics This will be my last post for a while on the important topic of happiness.  Here I will hit a few highlights about simple joy and lasting inner experiences of true happiness. Simple Joy – We experience simple joy in simple experiences, small sometimes subtle events in our […]

Anahata – Heart Chakra Meditation Practice Rumi noted that to reach the sky we must use our hearts. The Heart Chakra is a very popular focus of meditation practice.  Here we will simply review some characteristics and then move on to a meditation practice. Specific characteristics: Green color, YAM sound (say at least three times […]

Mindfulness Can Activate More Grace in Our Lives Today we all need to be cultivating more and deeper grace.  Grace needs to be activated. Given so many of our cultural problems (murders and mass murders by gunfire, rampant personal and corporate greed, ego-entitlement, chronic stress, feelings of insecurity, technological advances that do not ADVANCE us, […]

Mindful Categories

Mindful Happiness Pages

  • About
  • Contact
  • Dr. Anthony Quintiliani
  • Mindful Expressions Meditation CD
  • Mindful Happiness
  • Site Map

Copyright © 2023 · Mindful Happiness