Self-Kindness – Something to Practice!

 

Mindfulness – Self-Kindness Practice

Befriending the self is one of the most difficult things for Americans to do.  It is probably true that self-kindness is difficult for most people; however, the current rampant criticism (I am right! You are wrong!) and extreme greed manifesting in the United States tends to produce two opposite extremes: pathological narcissism or self-disdain. We are lacking an intelligent “middle way.” A recent issue of Shambhala Sun  presented several approaches to improve self-compassion and self-kindness without greed or narcissism.  You may wish to visit these sites.Self-Compassion, and Center for Mindful Compassion.

Now let’s begin with a brief meditation on this important topic.

1. Sit in a comfortable meditative posture.
2. Begin with a few deep, slow cleansing breaths.
3. Work at being open-minded, fearless, and present.
4. Turn the light of the world inward to your heart area. Watch your joyful self as well as your suffering self – BUT do not get caught in the suffering past or the fearful future.  Stay present here now.
5. As you breathe and practice this, note the sensations and emotions arising in this moment.
6. Notice if any of your negative energies arise: negative, critical thoughts; unhappy mind; projected criticism of others, etc.  Just let it be if present. Them use impermanence and try to let it go with you mind and body.  Just do your best here.
7. Practice kindness for yourself as you would for your significant other or a best friend.
8.  Be in your feelings well beyond the fearful amygdala, less-than self, and false-self greatness. Let go!
9. Be aware of the sources of joy and self-fulfillment all around you in this world. You need to notice them to use these resources.  Make images of some right now.
10. Place your hands over your heart and allow in self-compassion.  Allow in self-kindness. Allow in self-liking.  Be personal on what these “allowings” mean to you and how you are experiencing them now.
11. Follow Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s advice: Trust in yourself; be kind and generous to self and others; use self-compassion always!  Now just practice a little longer.

For more details refer to Shambhala Sun (November, 2015), pp. 52-63.

By Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont

Author of Mindful Happiness  

CLICK HERE  or any image below to Order