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Anthony Quintiliani, Ph.D, LADC

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February 26, 2018 By Admin

Self-Care as Ritual

Self-Care as Ritual

Self-care for Americans is often considered a luxury.  Due to our technological demands and addictions (Demons as they are), and the slow slipping of our economic structures, we are often at the mercy of the bottom line at work. Over-paid CEOs and CFOs and their many assistants eat up so, so much of workplace finances. Rush! Rush! Rush! In the 2017 American Psychological Association survey on stress in America, workplace stress and financial worries were major causes of increased emotional reactivity for Americans. Add to this our enormous addiction problems (drugs of abuse, alcohol, nicotine, opioids, cell phones, and “conspicuous consumption” as anormal process).  So instead of healthy self-care many American take the path of least resistance and self-medicate.  To improve psychological and physical health, we need to ritualize self-care practices. We need to make them one of our most important priorities on a regular basis. You may want to note that you must care for your child within. The list below provides some starting points for you to consider. Try as many of these practices as you can, and adopt as ritual a few you really like. Remember effective self-care is bio-psycho-social-spiritual. Ritualize it!

  1. You are transforming at the cellular level – every second some part dies and some part is born, arising and falling
  2. Hot stone massage
  3. Early morning walks
  4. Daily mindfulness, meditation, and yoga
  5. Pray
  6. Mindful movement stretches
  7. A Reiki session
  8. Long warm baths with aroma therapy, oils, and candles
  9. Tea drinking ceremonies
  10. Hot oil foot massage, or whole body hot oil massage
  11. Practice Mindfulness-Based Stress Reductions
  12. Sit with your pet and pet it
  13. Plan for an enjoy one whole day of silence
  14. Un plug everything – TV, computer, cell phones (especially), etc.
  15. Take a break from the evening news
  16. Write brief entries in a happiness journal
  17. Locate a “wisdom mentor” and pay for your time with her/him
  18. Apologize to a person you harmed, make amends
  19. Do  your own personal spiritual practices
  20. Write or recite gratitude lists
  21. Hug a lot – with emotional meaning
  22. Walk in a labyrinth
  23. Recycle – reduce your personal carbon footprint
  24. Walk in nature
  25. Have a conversation with your inner self-helper, that part of you that tries to help you be well
  26. Use helpful mantras – “I an ok the way I am.” ” I have enough right now in my life.” ” All things change.”
  27. Practice deep, slow, calm abdominal breathing often during the day – take a breathing break
  28. Practice active kindness and compassion
  29. Practice self-compassion
  30. Love a lot – with emotional meaning
  31. Radically accept yourself, and stop being self-critical

For more information refer to The Little Book of Self-Care…(2017). New York: Adams Media/Simon and Schuster. See also Thich Nhat Hanh (2017). The Art of Living. New York: Harper Collins.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Activities, ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, Featured, Meditation, MIndfulness, Practices, Rituals, Self -Kindness, Self Care Tagged With: DR ANTHONY QUINTILIANI, MINDFULNESS, SELF CARE

January 26, 2018 By Admin

Common Barriers to Meditation Practice

Common Barriers to Meditation Practice

Dan Harris, an ABC news anchor, has just published a book on Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. In his book Harris notes several common barriers to regular meditation practice, and what to do about them.  Since I have been meditating since the early 1980’s I have added additional suggestions. Here are the barriers and suggested solutions.

  1. Will I have Problems Finding Time and Space? – This concerns exist for all meditators until such time as regular practice becomes a highly reinforced, positive habit. Although it is best to have a regular time/place to sit (or do yoga, tai chi, qi gong, etc.), find time anywhere you can. Begin with just a few minutes -even five minutes. Slowly extend time over time. In your typical daily activities, practice bringing mindfulness and attention/concentration into the behaviors. Never try to clear your mind; instead simply allow thoughts to pass like clouds in the sky. Once you attach to thoughts and emotions, your meditation is probably over. Consider getting up a few minutes earlier in the morning for available practice time. Eventually find a “best” time and place for you too practice everyday. Stick with this routine as much as possible. The rewards will be many.
  2. What Will People Think of ME if I meditate? – Who cares? Unless you are addicted to your “smart” phone, crave higher number of make-believe “friends,” and are linked like a robot to the “cloud,”  you probably do not require a great deal of social/social media approval. Today in America meditation and yoga are common practices. Take the example of Congressperson Tim Ryan, who wrote Mindful Nation, and is a former football player. He practices Christian Centering Prayer as a norm, and uses MBSR to cope with the stress of being in American politics. Most people think in neutral of favorable ways about meditation practice. Commit to spending more time on your cushion and less time on your “hand-held-dopamine-delivery- device” (not my original terms). Practice more NOW!
  3. What if Painful Experiences Come Into Awareness? – Count of it! In the silence and inner stillness of meditation, a void may occur.  In this feeling/thinking void it is possible that unfinished business will come up.  Stay focused on the present moment, and DO NOT engage fully with the remnants of your own past suffering (loss, death, trauma, depression, anxiety, fear, addictions, etc.).  If you engage as an early meditators, you may never be fully engaged in meditation practice; you may not yet be ready to fully engage in such horrors and painful experiences.  It is OK to wait. If you do not now have effective emotional self-regulations skills to cope with painful suffering in your meditation, you may need the help of a professional mental health providers (not solely a medications-provider). It is inevitable that painful realities will enter the quietude of your meditation. This is a blessing, in that with more emotional regulation and experiences tranquility you will now most likely be able to overcome the emotional-traps of your past.  As a Doctoral level Clinical Health Psychologist for the past 33 years, I have provided psychotherapy to hundreds of my own clients as well as clinical supervision, training, and consultation to hundred of other therapists. Here is my hearty-felt advice: Find a licensed mental health professional to work with – but this professional must have training and experience in mental health counseling, additional counseling, and mindfulness-based clinical interventions.  Ideally, the helper you select should also have their own meditation/yoga practice. This is the winning combination! If your pain is too severe, STOP meditating until you obtain the above-recommended support.
  4. Will Meditation Slow Me Down of Make me Too Soft? – Yes and No! Regular meditation practice clearly reduces our stress reactivity, and it allows us to slow responses just enough to notice MORE and improve them.  Since it is used to train people in dangerous fields of work (police, first responders, soldiers, etc.), it improves their functioning. It may save your life! Some people learn “combat breathing” techniques, while others simply notice better attention, concentration, and response set. Regular practice of meditation is NOT about just relaxing.  It includes improved self-defense, greater compassion, much better cognitive awareness skills, and better equanimity in the chaos.
  5. What if I Already have a Form of Meditation? – No problem! Some people mediate in their normal activities: walking, hiking, writing, exercising, doing martial arts, etc. All pleasurable routinized behaviors have a dose of mindfulness in them. Becoming a regular meditator will simply add benefit to already existing contemplative skills. This is your chance to improve both your psychological and physical health. Do it! And, do it with qualified professional help as needed. Begin soon!

For more information refer to Quintiliani, A. R. (2014). Mindful Happiness…Shelburne, VT: Red Barn Books (now out of print). See also Harris, D. (2017). Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics…Noted in 5 Reasons You (and Everyone Else) Are Having a Hard Time Meditating. Retrieved 1-27-18.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Barriers, Featured, Meditation, Practices Tagged With: BARRIERS TO MEDITATION, MINDFUL MEDIATION, MINDFULNESS, OVERCOMING MEDITATION BARRIERS

January 21, 2018 By Admin

Meditations and Mantra to Try Out in Practice

Meditations and Mantra: Try Them Out in Your Practice

There are many forms of meditation.  In most cases, the common meditation forms fall into one of two categories: Mindfulness and Insight.  There are also demanding concentration meditations, chakra meditations, and mantra meditations. Here we’ll deal only with the two forms noted above and the use of mantras.

Insight meditation (called Vipassana) is one of the the bedrocks of meditation practice. This ancient Indian meditation aims at seeing things as they REALLY are. It may become transformative through extensive self (mind, phenomena) observation. Powerful mind training here may result in you learning HOW you help to cause your own emotional suffering. It enhances the view that long-term happiness is internal, and comes about via extended acute observation of how the mind works. In today’s words, we may learn to live and act via our wise mind skills, thus be happier. It easily relates to core Buddhist views on The Four Noble Truths, The Eight-Fold Path, as well as samsaric suffering by incessant attachment, desire, and craving.  The main learnings are personally witnessed impermanence (arising and falling of all phenomena), dependent origination (nothing comes about by itself), and ultimately emptiness (Eastern not Western). This form of meditation has been used extensively all over the world for addictions and for people who have difficulty with action urges and emotion regulation (mainly in prisons).

Mindfulness meditation (today very common in the West) is based on vipassana roots, but emphasizes awareness and bare attention mainly in the present moment. The initiation and returning of attention to an object of awareness is the basic practice.  Awareness occurs in both inner and outer experiences.  Focused attention on the breath or movement of mind-thoughts (without grasping, responding, or following) are common practices. This form of meditation has moved strongly into clinical psychological interventions, where a person learns to focus on the present moment without judging. People may also learn to use very practical breathing skills. The past and future are de-emphasized, and people may experience a very relaxing side-effect from regular practice. There are now thousands of “good enough” clinical studies on the positive effects of mindfulness meditation.

There are many well-documented benefits of regular meditation practice. Some are possible DNA improvements, brain plasticity (better neural connectivity), clear and calm mind, bodily relaxation, improvements in chronic pain, depression, anxiety, emotional self-regulation (anger, addictions), and spirituality.

Use of a mantra in meditation is a common practice. A mantra is a phrase that is repeated many times with intention and inner energy. The practice may expand mental focus and energies. It may also lead to insights, creativity, even healing. The basic instruction is to select a meaningful mantra and repeat it many times. It sometimes helps to classically condition the mantra to time of day (to meditate), location, and the use of beads.  A very interesting reality of using beads is that the practice may improve mind training via finger-tip manipulations and resulting firing of brain cells in the somatosensory areas of the brain, thus perhaps increasing brain plasticity. Thus the mantra meditation becomes easier and more automatic over time.  Here are a few common mantra. Perhaps you will select and practice one of them, soon.

  • Universal Mantra: Baba Nam Kevalam  (Beloved Name Only, or Love is all there is)
  • Healing Mantra of the Medicine Buddha: Tayatha Om Bhaishajye, Bhaishajye Mahabhaisajye, Taja Samudgate Svaha
  • Mantra of Compassion and Protection: Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svaha
  • Shakyamuni Buddha’s Mantra for Meditation and Wisdom: Om Muni Muni Mahaunaye Svaha
  • Mantra for Healing Relationships: Om Sharavana Bhavaya Namaha

For more details refer to Wiley, M. 5 Healing Mantras to Change Your Life. Easy Health Options, June 17, 2017. easyhealthoptions.com/5-healing-mantras-change-life… Retrieved 6-17-17.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

 

Filed Under: Featured, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, MIndfulness Activities, Mindfulness Training, Practices Tagged With: MANTRA, MINDFUL ACTIVITES, MINDFUL MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICE

January 14, 2018 By Admin

Healing Meditation for Destructive Emotions

Healing Meditations for Destructive Emotions

Based on the mountain of research supporting the use of regular meditation practices and yoga, it is safe to say that Buddhism and its practices have merged with modern scientific investigation. From the early days of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (the MBSR of Jon Kabat-Zinn) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (the DBT of Marsha Linehan), clinical and scientific mindfulness/meditation practices have advanced into successful interventions for a plethora of psychological and physical conditions. Among the thousands of studies, most are of “good enough” quality regarding designs and controls. Buddhism and science recommend that we evaluate by direct observation of outcomes and not solely by traditions in both research opinion and the sutras. According to The Dalai Lama in his Science and Philosophy in the Indian Buddhist Classics, the primary purposes for both Buddhism and science is the improvement of cherished human life and the experience of personal happiness.  Since our mood, happiness and perhaps long-term health may depend on how we react to emotions, strong mind training is required. When we experience pleasant feelings (sukkah vedana), we are happy. When we experience unpleasant feelings (dukkah vedana), we are unhappy. We chase happiness, but we find endless cycles of ups and downs, the samsaric cycles.  The goals of better health and emotional happiness can only be met by deeper understanding of how the human mind works and how to work with our destructive human emotions. The Buddha pointed out that reactions to our impermanent feelings cause us harm.

According to Josh Korda’s Unsubsribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth, goals of improved human existence and enhanced happiness cannot occur when we use meditation for escaping our pain and suffering. This spiritual bypassing (simply a more sophisticated way to self-medicate pain) may bring us short-term relief, but it always brings long-term stuckness. No matter what form of meditation we practice (Anapansati, Vipassana, Samatha, Metta, or Mantra), the goal is NOT to escape suffering but to be one with it and understand its deeper meaning and possible benefits. Thus meditative bliss alone fails to bring true, deep relief from personal emotional suffering. We do not heal by way of avoiding difficult emotional realities in our lives. True liberation comes from not being impulsively reactive to emotional responses to objects and experiences in life. Best to be with all your feelings and emotions in meditation to “see” why they are there and what you can do to befriend them.  The painful emotions in meditation have the potential to become our allies, but we need to stop spiritual bypassing and self-medication to get there.  You need to make your own judgment here; if you feel that you are too fragile emotionally to be with your emotional experiences, DO NOT DO IT.

Now we will select a meditation form and become fully aware of emotions/feelings; we will simply be with them no matter if pleasant or unpleasant. We will be one with them to get to know them better. According to A. Brahm’s Bear Awareness: Questions and Answers on Taming Your Wild Mind, all meditation forms in regular practice ultimately lead to equanimous and happier experiences. The single binding force is to “let go” and be with whatever comes up. Letting go of conditioned reactions can be a struggle. Let us practice!

  1. Practice of Anapansati – Breath Meditation. Simply practice breath awareness deeply enough until your body awareness is reduced or eliminated. ALLOW full mindfulness attention to any difficult emotions that arise. Be with them to understand them. Work at befriending them. What could you learn here? How might your pain help you?
  2. Practice of Vipassana – Insight Meditation. Through the regular practice of Insight Meditation we become more aware of the ultimate truth about life. Strong attention points our awareness to impermanence, suffering as a fact, interdependent origination (nothing arises from nothing), and The Eight Fold Path to enlightenment. Once we are into this practice deeply, we experience insights, inner peace, and joy. What do your insights teach you about your suffering?
  3. Practice of Samatha – Equanimity Meditation. Here meditation brings on a  state of inner calm and peace – sometimes perfect stillness. In this personal and private experience of quietude, we may be ready to discover arising insights about life and mind. In such a state of equanimity, allow yourself to be with your emotions as they arise.
  4. Practice of Metta – Loving Kindness Meditation. Wishing well to ourselves and all others as the root of this meditation practice brings peacefulness, inner quiet, and deep insights. We directly experience joy while we practice. Apply self-compassion to your suffering.
  5. Mantra Meditation – Six-Beat Mantra of Yig Drug. Say the following mantra to yourself as you meditate in any form you wish: OM, MANI, PADME, HUM. Continue! Now shift to a modern mantra, a modified Louise Hay mantra – “I now choose to love and accept myself.” Continue! Now as you say this to yourself in your meditation, slowly and firmly complete the Thymus Thump practice. See what happens.

For more information refer to The Dalai Lama (2017). Science and Philosophy in the Indian Buddhist Classics. Boston: Wisdom Publications. Korda, J (2017). Unsubscribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth. Boston: Wisdom Publications. Brahm, A. (2017). Bear Awareness: Questions and Answers on Taming Your Wild Mind. Boston: Wisdom Publications. Hay, L. (1984). Heal Your Body: The Mental Causes of Physical Illness. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House -eventually.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, Vermont and the Home of The Monkton SanghaChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Benefits of Mindfulness, Destructive Emotions, Featured, Healing, Healing, Meditation, MIndfulness Tagged With: DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS, HEALING MEDITATIONS, MEDITATION, MINDFUL HAPPINESS, MINDFULNESS

November 26, 2017 By Admin

More on Mindful Breathing

More on Mindful Breathing

  1. Whole-Heart Breathing – I have modified and expanded this great process from Thich Nhat Hanh.  If comfortable close your eyes and simply breathe calming and deeply for a few breaths. Add you personal half smile and allow the soothing (sometimes very subtle) sensation to spread all over your face.  Do not think about it happening, just allow it to happen. Now feel it down to the sides of your neck and out to your shoulders.  Simply allow soothing subtle sensation to spread this way. Move it down the arms all the way to your fingertips. Recall a substance-free happy experience and smile more. Feel the emotion, even perhaps love. Now slowly and gently place both hands over your heart and rock gently.  Continue for a couple minutes. Notice!
  2. Gratitude breathing –  Breathe calmly, deeply and simply focus all of your attention on at least five things you know you have personal gratitude for. Sometimes very simply things can be very powerful here.
  3. Quicken-Breath – Breathe deeply and quick for a few breaths. Inhale through your nose and push the exhale out through your mouth. Force the exhalation out so you can here a quick puff. Blow the exhalation out. Continue for 5-6 breaths. Notice!
  4. Body-Breathing – Practice abdominal breathing for a few breaths. Now imagine and visualize the healing energy of the in-breath bringing wellness to your whole body.  On the exhalation, imagine and visualize the out-breath removing all toxic feelings and substances from your body. Continue for 7-8 breaths.
  5. Stranding Tall Breath – Now stand up and assume the horse posture (feet at shoulders’ width apart and back gently straight.  As you inhale deeply raise your arms from your sides upward toward the ceiling or sky. Imagine bringing in healing energy from your feet to the top of your head on each inhalation. As you exhale slowly bring arms down at the end. Continue for 5-6 breaths. Notice!
  6. Quintiliani’s  Healing Breath – Practice abdominal breathing for a few breaths. Now imagine that with each inhalation you bring in something you seek (feelings of joy, calmness, safety, etc.).  Practice for a while. Now imagine that with each exhalation you remove from your body-mind all negative mood states (sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, etc.). Practice this for a while.  Now do both – in with the good and out with the unhelpful.  Notice!

For more refer to Quintiliani, A. R. (2014). Mindful Happiness…Shelburne, VT: Red Barn Books.

Anthony R. Quintiliani, PhD., LADC

From the Eleanor R. Liebman Center for Secular Meditation in Monkton, VermontChiYinYang_EleanorRLiebmanCenter

Author of Mindful Happiness  

Mindful Happiness cover designs.indd

New Edition of Mindful Happiness in Production…Coming soon!

Filed Under: Breathing, Breathing, Featured, Inner Peace, Meditation, Meditation Activities, Mindful Awareness, MIndfulness, Practices Tagged With: BREATHING, MEDITATION, MINDFULNESS, PRACTICE

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